ADVICE NEEDED
BVs please advise me,
I recently relocated because of marriage so I'm out of job. We moved into a big man's compound and the man is very humble and and seems kind. He's a custom officer, so I'm thinking of approaching him for a help in getting a job, or better still chat him up on WhatsApp.
I don't know if that will give a different impression, I don't want him to feel I'm giving a signal, or if I should forget him and continue my online applications.
I thought of begging my husband to go for me but he will never agree. I don't know if it's a bad idea:....
I thought of begging my husband to go for me but he will never agree. I don't know if it's a bad idea:....
Hmmmm its not a bad idea but its not a good idea either.... Let it rest for now.
And please do not chat him up on whatsapp unless you are looking for something else oh...
You have not told your husband yet and you already concluded that he wont consent to it? Talk about it with your husband.
ReplyDeleteShe knows her husband, please.
DeleteKey word, "her husband". So she knows him Wella. Ighotago? Okay, bye.😎
DeleteWhat a bad idea. You stay in this man's compound, and there is a red flag for me since you can't tell your husband. Trouble dey sleep nyanga won go wake am.
DeleteDear poster
DeleteApproach him with your husband, do not send him any message or go see him yourself, if he is meant to be your helper, God will work things out for you. Pray about it and your husband will not refuse.
Secondly, you can get closer to his wife, that way she can help you ask him.
Push up (original)
Let your husband speak to him on your behalf.Please,don't chat him privately.
ReplyDeleteUnless you’re trying to get a basic job , you should speak to him for yourself
DeleteMy sincere advice is that you call him by yourself and greet him first, then the next call should be that of the favor and your husband should know that you’re calling him so it won’t look like you’re looking for something else.
DeleteGod can use anyone to bless anyone never forget that.
Madam face front.
ReplyDeleteThat's your landlord. Keep it professional.
Nah from clap e dey enter dance.
There's no harm in trying, your husband can as well follow you and you'll do the talking
ReplyDeleteAsk him
ReplyDeleteOne day outside in view of everyone, just ask him
Connection is the best way to find a job and not everyone wants something except your gratitude in return
+1
DeleteGo on ahead and try your luck physically
ReplyDeleteIt could click trust me
Y can approach face t face but nev chat him on WhatsApp
ReplyDeleteIts too early poster,over familiarity breeds contempt,continue the online search.
ReplyDeleteTell your husband to tell the man or both of you go meeting him. Your husband will disagree as you predicted but it's on record you tried for your landlord to help but your husband refused. Ego on the part of your husband, nothing more. Very many men will not agree to such help especially as a tenant to such a benefactor.
ReplyDeleteGood luck.
It isn't Ego, it is selfishness
DeleteDiscuss it with your husband first. Why won't he agree? He doesn't want you to work or what? This country,who you know can help you get a job quicker than anything. Don't be over familiar with the man,just it it respectful and formal. If he will help,he will. If not,keep it moving. One thing I have realized these days is that help can come from the least expected places.
ReplyDeleteFast and pray put for leading
DeleteNever chat him on whatsapp, approach him yourself and your husband. If he wants to help he will assist.
ReplyDeleteGood luck.
Plead with your husband to ask him...not you
ReplyDeletePlease don't chat him on Whatsapp, discuss with your husband before taking any step.
ReplyDeleteAsk him when your husband is around
ReplyDeleteWhen you move into a place, the first thing you do is not foist your problems on others. Build your reputation first, look for areas of common ground if any, look for areas where you can provide value before you start looking for what you can collect from 'big man'.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is better to keep your personal business personal in a public place to preserve self respect.
Abi wouldn't life had gone on if your landlord was a 'small man'?
This is true
Delete100 likes for your comment @anon 15:25
DeleteAsking me if I know of a job is not putting your problems on me
DeleteHeck he’s the landlord. He has an interest in her having money to pay him
Poster na see finish you dey find.
Delete🚶🏾♀️🚶🏾♀️🚶🏾♀️🚶🏾♀️
Chatting him up on WhatsApp is out of the question. Talk to your husband to go with you and see the man . Pray over the issue as well .
ReplyDeleteHe may not be in a position to recruit you into NCS. He may refer you to his guys who may want something in return. Sometimes it's good to respect boundaries, he's your landlord and not obligated to seek for employment for you. It's harrasment because he won't expect his tenant to ask him for a job.
ReplyDeleteMeet him and talk with him, he may be your divine connector...
ReplyDeleteIs there a general whatsapp group for everyone in the compound? You could just drop it casually, that incase of any vacancy, you are open. If not, let your husband help you talk to him.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I believe in putting pride to the side when you are seeking better in life, approaching could create any number of problems. You don’t truly know him well to take that step. He does not know your character to vouch for you as an employee, if you are a poor worker or have bad attitude then he will be the one to bear the shame for recommending you. He may interpret you asking as a show of financial problems, one thing you never want a landlord to believe is that you are having financial problems. You have not discussed it with your husband, as your husband is likely the one who signed the rental agreement he may not support this, without his consent do not proceed to ask anything.
ReplyDeleteThe situation appears easy but may actually be complicated. If you are desperate give it a few more months to get to know this man better, and if your husband is against asking then forget about it. The job that I have today, I was asked by the manager to apply, I had no interview and it was basically handed to be in my lap. This experience shifted my mindset about employment. Sometimes we thing we have to go looking for a job, but the job can come looking for us too. Open yourself to all possibilities.
"What's wrong with some of you sef..
ReplyDeleteIs it that you don't have sense at all...
God abeg.. na beg I dey beg...
Cos which kind mentality be this one nah"
👆
My response Yesterday, Today and Forever✌️
May our kids not resemble our landlord 🙏
ReplyDeleteCos na like this e dey start
🤣🤣🤣 very funny comment! Pls ma don’t try it at all, instead compel ur husband even with force to speak to him on ur behalf or you still forcefully drag him for both of you to visit the man
Delete-Anyin
I don't think she will send a chronicle if she had such intentions, I mean it sounds like they live in the same compound, it's as simple as giving green light and secretly hooking up when the husband isn't around, if she was that type of person. As someone said up there, it's not wise to ask without her husband's consent plus he doesn't know her well enough and vice versa.
DeletePoster, wait and observe his character first and stylishly be mentioning it to your husband till he understands there's no harm in trying. Asking is better than assumptions, I've gotten a job by recommendation before so I know it works but get better acquainted first and let your husband be aware, it's not a good look if your husband finds out from another person.
16.40
DeletePlease, you people should leave me with your mentality.
This is how hooking up in secret starts, first is secretly meeting the man behind her husband's back, before you know it, they're meeting secretly in hotels.
My uncle's wife got a job through a man in church, the man didn't meet her directly, he approached my uncle and asked her if he'll like his wife to work in so and so commission, if yes, he should get back to him and he'll send her to who she'll meet to facilitate it.
That's how it's done.
It's a very big disrespect and disregard to a man when his babe or wife act in these manner.. like if I have a job for my friend's wife, it's my friend I'll discuss with first..
See ehn, apart from just having the landlord number cos no one knows when it'll be needed for emergency, the only thing that woman should be doing with the landlord is greetings when their path cross.. yes, only when their path cross..
Carry begy begy attitude enter marriage, this is what happens when you marry all those babes that you meet today and tomorrow she's asking you for urgent 2k.. entitlement mentality mixed with begy begy spirit..
See I don commot hand for Una matter, as Una no won dey hear true advice, so abeg make Una dry leave my comments alone, no come dey reply mumu reply under my comment abeg🙏
Discuss that with your husband first before anything, if anything happens during your chat or talking to your landlord your husband will blame you for not speaking with him first. Jokingly talk to your husband about it but if his man ego refuse him to do that, just lock up.
ReplyDeleteWait! Just wait!
ReplyDeleteI won’t like a tenant I do not know to approach me for a job.
Get to know each other.
Not by doing anything but just by ‘being’ and observing.
Beg beg mentality is wrong!
Good fences make good neighbours.
Give it time maybe 9months to 1 year.
Steps:
1. Be a friendly and respectful neighbour.
2. Don’t be in a rush to get anything; no one owes you!
3. Take time to under the personality of your landlord and family. (9+months)
4. Take time to understand why your husband doesn’t want to approach him.
He might know something you don’t know.
5.Keep making your job applications.
I repeat: no one owes you.
6. When you’ve known their personality/character from afar, you and your husband can decide the best way to approach them.
7. Leave your beg beg personality in your bedroom.
A wrong move/perceived wrong move might send you both packing from your accommodation. This will strain your new marriage.
Stop being in a haste.
No one owes you!
I think you should speak to your husband to speak to the man on your behalf . The idea of going by yourself or even texting him on WhatsApp is not a good one ooo biko. Just speak to your husband First.
ReplyDeleteI agree, if you speak to him yourself you are inviting other things you may not be able to condone e.g sexual advances
DeleteI'm amazed at how many people are afraid to ask for help.
ReplyDeletePoster tell your husband of your intentions then go ahead and ask the man. The worse he can say is no
Madam please and please speak to your husband about it FIRST if he doesn't consent to it then GIVE IT A REST
ReplyDeleteE get why
That's how I helped a woman and now her son keeps calling and harassing me for a job. I don't even know the woman well not to talk of the son. Poster,wrong move. Don't make it.
ReplyDeleteWhat’s harassing in that
DeleteJust say you can’t help. That’s all
I think your husband should be in the best position to ask your landlord on behalf of you.
ReplyDeleteI would discuss with my husband. Get him on board and then go with him to meet the man to state your request. After that, lock up. If he gets back to u with a job, good. If he doesn't, don't bother reminding him or harassing him. Move on
ReplyDeleteAnd remember he is your landlord not an employment agency
DeleteDo not go and knock on his door!
ReplyDeleteDo not WhatsApp him!
Does he live in the same compound as you, or does he come by occasionally? Either way, just time him. When you see him around, greet him.
If he is the type to ask how you're doing...reply by letting him know that you've been job hunting, but things aren't going so well. If he was paying attention and genuinely cares, the next time you see him, he will ask if there's been any change in your employment status. Update him by mentioning that you've applied for 'x' amount of positions in the past few weeks, but haven't yet heard back yet...yet you're still hopeful. The next time you see him after that, present him with your CV and let him know that you'll be very grateful if he could help you secure an interview somewhere suitable.
Note: Only pursue this route of giving him your CV, if he asks for updates, after you've told him you're job hunting. If he doesn't, then just maintain a tenant-landlord cordial relationship.
Poster follow SMH advice
DeleteWell said @SMH.
DeleteYou ladies just make noise and clearly lack understandings as regards marriage and relationships no wonder problem arises.sister the right thing to do is to tell your husband,your husband does that on your behalf..all this woke generation with no sense .tueh.body scratch you!
ReplyDeleteIt's better your husband do the talking.
ReplyDeleteSo you know your husband will not agree. But You want to go ahead.
ReplyDeleteIt is said not to be unequally yoked with a person who does not share same beliefs with you. This goes beyond religion.
More importantly, it is always better for a woman not to marry beneath her. This goes beyond money and status or age.
Poster, you are married to a man who does not share same beliefs as you and is beneath you. If not, how did you ever thought of whatsapp chatting with your landlord or going to him for a job without even discussing it with your husband. You do not respect your husband as a person or do not respect his judgment ability. Simple.
Depending on the age and outlook of the man, he may even see your planned action as very disrespectful or your husband as proud by "sending" you to him instead of your husband making the request.
Ask him casually when you are with your husband. Maybe when your path cross. After the normal pleasantries. Gently tell him you are still job hunting and you wish to plead he help you out.
ReplyDeleteEveryone is not out for negativity. People help others geniniuely Without expecting any kind of reward.
Poster,
ReplyDeleteIf it goes awry, will you carry the can in secret or let your husband know and expect him to trust you and have your back.
Last Friday, she could not sleep.
For months, she would have long phone talks with a male colleague from her matrimonial home. Husband kept quiet. Then they quarrelled over money as she said. On Friday, another female colleague called to tell her how rumours of gbenshing, boyfriend snatching, etc was swirling around her, the male colleague, his girlfriend. As presented, the male colleague was even saying... What gives a man the guts to let rumours of ... turn around him and a married woman. Is it not the woman who allows herself to be seen finish though married?
She told husband herself as she believed that he heard a part of her hysterics.
She went to hear more on Saturday to know what was really said. Since then Husband has not asked her what's up. She has not said more. She is now tongue tied.
If she was told the familiarity with the male colleague was too much, she would have said husband didn't want her to work or progress at work.
There are boundaries in relationships. All relationships have rules.
There are ways to walk to avoid trouble.
Hmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteSome of you women take risky decision so you can be called MRS . You uprooted yourself from your place to move to a different location with no plan as to how to find a job because of a man . Tomorrow you will write another chronicle as to how your husband doesn’t respect you because you are 100% dependent on him . Remember, men don’t quit their jobs to marry .. why do women do so especially when we have lots of examples of how it is a bad idea ?
ReplyDeleteLearn a skill on the internet.. graphic design , makeup up , cooking for busy workers, babysitting etc .. while you continue with your job search . Don’t go and ask your big man landlord for help before your husband accuses you of being unfaithful.
Madam na you know wetin you dey find ooo...from your write up e be like sey u dey find something else but you just want make we advise you to go. How you take know sey your husband no go gree..
ReplyDeletethe landlord may think you are looking for something else. don't forget he is not the owner of the organisation, if you dont have a relationship with the family, dont ask.
ReplyDelete