Hmmm....
URGENT ADVICE NEEDED
I got married to my colleague (the same organization but different dept) The marriage packed up after one year due to some disagreement and the bride price was returned.
Now another man from same organization is asking for my hand in marriage. Pls bvs I need your advice as I don't know what to do.
WOW; you nah hot cake oh....Nothing wrong in marrying someone from the same organisation but please be ready for side talks and side eyes and if you cant bear such then ask for a transfer or you resign out of that place...
I trust Nigerians that you will be judged from tip of your head to the sole of your feet.....Be strong and if you are sure, then marry him!
Na only that organization husband dey?
ReplyDeletePlease let this one slide.
Twins ♊ Squared
Do you know if her kind of work does not allow her to mingle? Is possible her work doe not allow her to meet people and the people she work with are the people coming for her hand in marriage. Please assist to connect her with someone.
DeleteI've never begged for anything in this blog before, I really need financial assistance with #10,000 even if na borrow sef, I want to buy food stuffs with it pls.
DeleteI just got employed last week, I had to borrow 2k from a colleague for my Transportation and I don't have food in the house. It was gari I took before going to bed last last night.
Since morning ivI' been starving like I'm fasting which I'm not but I'm really hungry
Pls pls pls🙏🙏🙏
I suspect that this “new husband to be” was always in the picture. Most likely the reason your marriage packed up.
DeleteNothing is wrong in saying yes to your colleague. Hope you have already told him about your first marriage that packed up cos if you have not done so please do before bad belle people will spoil your show.
ReplyDeleteBe ready to hear alot of comments, people will judge you from your past like they are next to Jesus. Be strong and grow a thick skin before you say yes. You can also apply for a transfer to another office before you announce your marriage to the new person. Saying all these should in case you don't have a strong mind but if you do please ignore them all and move forward.
Remember that your first marriage failed, please shine your eyes very well before you say yes cos if this one fails you will not be happy. They will say you are the problem. You may want to stay in an abusive marriage just to stop people from talking. Never be in a rush to say yes, allow God to lead you.
Before we advice her, let her tell us full story.
DeleteI know a lady who got married to her colleague in the same company. She was a young graduate and was retained after NYSC. Shortly after their wedding, her husband's boss who was a well known womanizer began to make advances at her.
Being the social climber that she was, she started an affair with her husband's boss, to the full knowledge of everyone, including her husband. She wasn't even discreet enough to keep the relationship hidden.
Husband's oga made every effort to sack him, but couldn't get Management approval since he was good at his job. Eventually he was able to transfer him to Lagos.
It was during this period that the divorce was concluded, and our lady quickly got married to Husband's oga.
Sadly, her marriage to oga didn't even last up to 5 years. He began an affair with a young Nurse in the company, and eventually married that one too. Our lady tried going back to her former husband claiming that she was jazzed.
This isn't a made up story, as I know all the people involved.
It happened here in Port-Harcourt, in one of the reputable Multinational oil companies.
Poster please don't. Carry out proper investigation. Lightning don't strike twice in the same place. Be careful, what if it is a ploy to bring you down.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to marry him then transfer or resign from the company please. All the best.
They will talk. Give it one week, two weeks max another gist will drop n they will move on from your matter.
ReplyDeleteDO YOU.
If I dey the organization sef,I go follow talk.😁😄
DeleteThey wan recycle you o. Break the cycle. If I were you, I won't consider marrying my colleague again.
ReplyDeleteHusbands full this organization o😁
ReplyDeleteI dey tell you 😃
DeleteAs in ehnn...e be like I go go apply.
Delete😂 😂 😂 I wish she can give expo.
DeleteYou know the man better than us. We are not in the position to give you an objective advice.
ReplyDeleteIf the man is good fearing and you are ready to ride the waves, carry on.
God fearing*
DeleteThe question is not about the quality of the man.
DeleteD kweshion na about wetin poster work pipu and world pipu go talk.
Remember, almost the same set of people would be attending the celebration ceremonies.
Na from the venue of the ceremonies world pipu go hear say ...
Poster, as a woman who had a failed relationship with a work colleague before, just tell your man that you both should brace up.
The talk will be loud and the base of jokes. After sometime, it will become stale and any person who wants to stay there would soon realise it is foolish to do so. They would move on. And if you both make a success of the marriage, the other man may also move from the company.
You can also include the search for another job for you and your fiance in your mutual plans. So either of you can move after marriage.
Summary: How thick you and your fiance skins are will play a big role in your marriage and how you will cope at work, especially in the first year.
Written from the person experience of a failed work place relationship.
Mr. Mann
Must you invite work people, small wedding don finish?
DeleteBiko say no and keep it moving. Don't let them turn you around.
ReplyDeleteIt's fine if you are convinced about him.
ReplyDeleteYou must be special and a good person for someone else coming in same environment...
So long as you are convinced about him, pls go ahead. But take your time to study him properly ooo. Don't allow him rush you and vice versa.
But DO NOT RESIGN except you have gotten another job or a business has been established.
As for gossips, it's part of life . Will die down over time.
Where you dey work make our women go there too. Be like men plenty pass women for that organisation.
ReplyDeleteNo turn there to Hollywood ooo. Na merry go round dem dey do ooo. Better look outside your organisation
Wetin be the name of the company ?i wan find work there boya I go see husband there
ReplyDeleteI'd be really uncomfortable with the arrangement if na me
ReplyDeleteSame organisation again? No! Don’t do it.. It doesn’t seem right..
ReplyDeleteBut you “should” know what’s good for you.. I wish you well sis..
Bv Yosola
I won't if I were you but if the guy is a great guy,you can go ahead and I will advice one of you to get transfer or change your job.
ReplyDeleteAll the best!
How did you get mind to date another man in the same place where your ex works to the extent he is talking marriage.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine having an ex husband who knows my ringing tone as per the ozza room matters working in the same place with my new husband. You will overwork yourself in this marriage in order to prove a point that the first breakup is not from you. Think am oo
Poster,do wat makes u happy but use ur brain in d process.
ReplyDeleteWere you only married traditionally? If you were also married legally, then go and get a proper divorce first. Returning bride price is not enough, because you would still be your ex's legal wife.
ReplyDeleteSecondly...is this guy someone who just saw you, and wants to marry you without the two of you properly knowing each other? Or is he your BF and you guys are in a committed relationship? The way you worded your chronicle makes it sound like the former!
Guys that just see a woman in passing and declare they intend to marry her, without even having a basic conversation with her are weird to me! How can you make such a life-long decision about a woman without even knowing her character; disposition; upbringing; family life etc.?
Anyways, if I'm wrong, and he has been your BF...why is marrying him now an issue for you, when dating him wasn't?
Me no go dey comfortable with this atall
ReplyDeleteIf u love this new guy, go ahead
He might be the mr right that didn't come on time. But get super ready for side talksooooh
First, ensure that there is no cult at the workplace and you are not somehow a target, while this is far fetched it is not impossible. Also remember that when you get involved with men who move in the same circles, in this case the organization, you will get discussed by them and their friends. It is never good to get involved with men who move in the same circles. Having an air of mystery about you is far more valuable than too many having access to you. If you marry this new one there will be a pressure on you to make it last so you don’t end up being the laughing stock. This means that you could stay in a toxic marriage just for face.
ReplyDeleteAll in all, search your inner self and do your best to research well before getting into anything.
I hope the guys did not place a bet (or something similar) on getting you to fall in love there again. I hope this new guy has not been discussing you with your ex husband. I hope this new guy is not just coming to "pepper" your ex husband, etc.
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of things you need to find out first before taking this plunge. It would have been better if one of you gets another job and leave that organization.
I wish you the best.
Exactly!! any right thinking person will know that man is not genuine and only coming for his share base on the gossip he has heard. pls don't sleep with him o because you will lose face in that office. For me i will say don't marry him look for someone else outside your work place or get another job, common you have married one there and it failed don't make the same mistake twice girl get a hold of yourself.
DeletePoster I don't think this is a good idea ooo because you will be the only one trying to make this marriage work to prove a point and to avoid being a laughing stuck in your organization and don't be surprised that after all your efforts, he may even leave you to shame you and I bet you don't want to be in this position
ReplyDeleteBaby oku hot 🔥
ReplyDeleteAbeg marry as long as he is genuine
Haters go def hate, gossips go dey. You will be alright
Best comment so far.
DeletePoster pls pray.Marriage is so important that we can't afford to be with the wrong partner.take some time to pray.the holy spirit will direct you.
ReplyDeleteSome organisations don't approve of it to avoid conflict of interest, some marry and resign or get a job elsewhere ,one I know the lady resigned but it's always afraid of the husband meeting new ladies there na so problem start alys suspicious, poster just like others had said you alys be the one making the marriage to work so that it won't be that you re the problem and been talked about in the office ,believe me it's a grapevine.
ReplyDeleteIf the new guy is a sissy he will leave so many character flaws that you ll alys be on your toes to deflect so think about it properly. all the best
If he is genuine in his intentions, the man also has a burden to prove he is better than the other man.
ReplyDeleteIf he is not genuine in his intentions, it does not matter. The marriage will be challenged.
Women who remarry people who are not their colleagues are gossiped at work on being unable to keep their marriages.
Any way a man or woman goes in life, there are gossips.
If people only realized how completely inconsequential and irrelevant the opinions of gossips are
DeleteThank you madam Stella, I'm the poster. The thing is my Ex and I did not really live together as husband and wife because the church forbids it (there was no trad nor white wedding. Only bride price was paid)
ReplyDeleteThe new guy never knew I was married so I was the one that told him and he says he okay. He said if I'm ready to marry him that he's ready because he likes me not minding my past. I told him I'm ready to marry but NOT HIM because I can't stand the talks and moreover my family will not accept that. Thank you bvs for your advice
If you do your investigations properly and this guy is genuine , check again to be sure that this new man makes you happy,If you pray fervently about it, and you are convinced, Nne marry him and enjoy your life o, you no commot crime at all, afterall you are not the only woman working there, It's your luck jare ✌🏼.
ReplyDeleteGo ahead and marry him if you have peace and sure. My hubby once worked in the same organization with my ex. In fact, my ex sent my hubby to go beg me, I simply told him to go back and tell him I said over my dead body. The rest is history. We got married, he spent 4 years in the organisation and we relocated to the US. That decision has been the best I have ever made in my life. The best husband and father in the whole world. Mind you, my ex went about telling people jargon, we never cared ooo and still don't care.
ReplyDeleteYour ex boyfriend not husband!!!
DeleteEx boyfriend ani husband
DeletePoster, marry him! I say wetin? MARRY HIM! If he messes up and leaves and another person in that organisation proposes again, marry that one too! Men don't lose sleep over these issues; they just do what makes them happy no matter whose ox is gored.
ReplyDeleteAs long as you told him the absolute truth about your failed marriage and he insists, marry him osiso.
Maybe he'd always liked you but kept away because you were already involved with someone else. As that one crash, guyman don go do thanksgiving for church. One man's appetizer is another man's balanced diet. But then, be convinced that this man makes you happy and gives you peace. Is he a contemporary abi boss? Ensure, he is not your subordinate o, e get why. Be absolutely sure this man is mature and totally understands you. Finally, you may start thinking of applying to other places especially if your skills/qualifications are in high demand in case dem decide to show you the door at anytime. But if you two plan to relocate soonest, then chill. I bu no hot akara nne. Happy married life in advance omo toh shon. If your ex doesn't like it, let him resign or go to court!
Well It is obvious you guys are f**king already.
ReplyDeleteYou sound like someone I know. Your organization is big so you can marry whoever you want.
The issue is I hope you know what you are doing coz if this marriage does not work then depression go set in.
Think am well before you enter oooo.
But me I go advise you resign if you want to marry the guy. All na risk self.
Marry him.
ReplyDelete