Hmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
RIGHT OR WRONG
Good Afternoon
Please I want to ask a question....
Is it right for my mum to be asking my husband for money behind me?
As in, she will call him to send her money and still call me to send to her too...
My husband doesnt intentionally tell me but when she continues disturbing him with calls, he will tell me to tell her that he has sent the money....This is becos we send it to her neighbors account so she might not know he has sent the money..
Hmmm!!!
I dont see anything wrong with your mum asking your husband for money...
Your husband is not complaining so why are you?
What her mother is doing is not right at all. Asking her daughter and asking her husband separately is wrong. All I see is greed written all over her mother. Na this kind attitude go make her husband disrespect him mother inlaw one day.
ReplyDeleteDear poster,
DeleteYour mother has probably taken him as her own child that’s why she doesn’t see the shame or any reason to tell you “her own son sent her money”
Have a conversation with her and let her know there should be boundaries, not all families are comfortable with such, some will use it as a reason to disrespect you and your entire family.
Be stern about it
Push up (original)
It leaves enough room to be perceived as being Greedy. In our Naija setting, It might one day bring see-finish from hubby o.
DeleteMe personally I won't take it lightly if my mum does that when I get married tomorrow (she has never ever asked any of her 3 in-laws for money though, she still works even after she has reached retirement. mumcy no dey give room for disrespect at all)
If your husband is very much okay with it, then discuss with him and place her on a monthly upkeep but don't say it directly. Do it with wisdom and maturity.
E.g Babe to help us prepare for this subsidy removal that might come one day, lets budget properly most especially to third party (mum, Mother-inlaw, external family etc) and stick to it unless it is an emergency situation. We can also start saving judiciously for tomorrow o.
So if his onboard, once mumcy calls you, you ask her if she did not get you people's (hubby & me) contribution.
Everything is wrong with what her mother is doing!
DeleteWhat kind of disrespect is that.
Jeweluchi, na oyibo life you dey live, so you no go understand.
Well said! He must have definitely reduced the regard he has for her sha some mothers no even send na the money they de after, sister pls tell her this wan wen he no de pick her call directly de ask u to tell her he has send the money it’s a signal ooo meaning she de disturb am hmm
DeleteA…..
@poster? How much do you people send to her monthly? I believe she won't be asking for more if she has enough. Is she still strong enough to work and make her own money? What work does she do? Does she have another child/children/relatives sending her money? She probably doesn't have other means of survival
Deleteyour advice is 🔥 name-ci @ sisinene
DeleteIt is wrong for your mother to ask your husband for money when you can do that on her behalf. She has to respect herself and your marriage. Going behind you to ask your husband for money is unethical. Your husband might not be happy with and might not know how to say it.
ReplyDeleteTalk to her please to stop because hmmmm, your hubby might take the insult to you tomorrow. Beg her to consult you if she needs money.
DeleteHowever, if you can afford it, place her on monthly income. Let her know that your husband sent it to her so she won't call him to make demand.
There's nothing wonky about it but it shouldn't be done frequently sha
ReplyDeleteThis is very wrong. Your mother should have some shame na, I will be very angry if my mum try such greediness. Thank God she’s not that type.
DeletePoster warn your mum, tell her to communicate anything she need to you and not your husband. Also tell your husband that you don’t like that and he should always tell you anytime your mum ask him, that you prefer to do it by yourself.
Fan Emmanuel
Pls talk to your mum to respect herself and to respect you too. These things causes see-finish. No respect whatsoever. Hian!
ReplyDeleteDear Kings,
ReplyDeleteObserve the family wella before you shook head oh.. no go marry into shameless family ✌️
Lol.
DeletePoster married a good man that doesn't insult her family because of that.
God I can't stop laughing 😂😂😂. This is hilarious. Omo, Mr Dante don mean everybody today. Truth be told this is just uncalled for. How do you ask your daughter and then go behind her back to ask her husband.
DeleteIn Fidel's voice God abegii 😪
Even queens too cos my mother in-law is worse than this, always flashing my line to beg for numerous things. Down to even calling my husband’s ex girlfriends to beg for money and recharge cards. If she set her eyes on any visitor she will ask the person for his or her number the next thing she will start spoiling her children’s name, lying that no body takes care of her just to collect money from the person. This is a woman that all her children including her daughter in-laws support with money and material things, yet she’s never contented.
DeleteOne time my husband visited her with his colleague and she collected the guys number and started spoiling my husband’s name just so the guy will be giving her money. It was another of my husband’s colleague that asked my husband why him and his siblings doesn’t take care of their mum, when my husband asked what she meant, she told him that “V” told them. When hubby asked “V”, he told hubby how he has been sending money to his mum because of her sub stories which happens to be all lies. When hubby confronted her, she denied and told hubby that she doesn’t even have the guy’s phone number, but hubby quickly grabbed her phone and saw the guy’s number and she started apologizing.
One time my brother had an accident, she asked me to give her my brother’s number so she could tell him sorry only for her to start begging my brother for money until he got tired of sending and told me to please tell my mother in-law that he too is managing. Her story plenty
Lol..
Delete@Chike..
I no kuku dey follow them talk again, make I face my brothers alone🤷🏽😌
Anon 15:53, you say wetin?
DeleteEven ex?
Egwu dikwa
That's how my older sisters father in law begs her for everything, the annoying thing his son provides enough for him.
DeleteNow my sis is getting tired.
Anon 15:53,na this one dem dey call MIL from hell..which kain begi begi be that?Nawa o
DeleteAnon, you say? 🤷♀️
DeleteAnon o 15:53
DeleteYour mother inlaw na helele
Her son needs to do something to control his mother, this is bad
How can she collect your brothers number to sympathize with him, only to turn around and beg him for money… what kind of shame is this
Two things to have as a human being is shame and conscience
Push up (original)
@shyla even your father inlaw🤣
DeletePlease queens protect yourselves o
What is all these begibegi about
Push up (original)
Anonymous 15.53 your mother inaw is cursed o. She may require therapy, mental or spiritual one but she is definitely under a spell, her behaviour is unnatural.
DeleteLol nothing may be wrong with it but your husband clearly doesn’t like it that’s why he tells you to tell her he has sent the money. He can tell her by himself but he’s closely telling you he sent her money and she’s asking him for money.
ReplyDeleteWho would? I don’t blame him abeg
DeleteActually o wrong, especially behind your back, that makes it even worse. I wish I had a piece of advice for you on how to tackle this
ReplyDeleteIf it's every time, it's wrong jarey before see finish will enter.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion,I don't think it is right,there should be a particular amount you send to your parents every month,calling your husband and disturbing him with calls is not cool! Please discuss it with your mum,Whenever you send her money via her neighbors account,call her and tell her to avoid unnecessary calls,by doing that you have your respect.
ReplyDeleteShe should ask you first. It’s called respect loyalty. What if you didn’t have a husband? Some mothers ehhn
ReplyDeletePls speak to your mum to avoid "see finish", if she wants anything let her ask you directly.
ReplyDeleteMs tee
Jesus, did I send this Chronicle? I just type mine to send as chronicle. Please, I need answers too. Cos it's too much. And it's never enough for her, very ungrateful.
ReplyDeleteI feel indirectly the husband doesn't like it, that's why he shares it with the wife and secondly he wants his wife maybe caution her mum cos of continuous call.
ReplyDeleteIs good she informs her daughter first, her in law isn't her cash cow. If she continues see finish will happen.
Try to Avoid see finish in this life for your extended family no matter how good or bad your spouse is..
ReplyDeleteNa small thing dey kukuma bring talk of "After all I have done for you and your mother"..
Kindly send her what you have monthly;plead with her to stop asking your husband directly for any other further assistance;but in a case of emergency; she should rather ask you then you can discuss with your husband..
Your husband telling you to call and tell her that he has sent the money is a coded message of "Tell your beggy beggy mama to stop disturbing me financially because I married her daughter"..
He would have called her directly;but he is stylishly passing the message to you his wife for the sake of respect of in-law;hoping you talk to your mum..
@MARTINS
It is wrong of your mom to be asking money from your husband, let her ask you instead.
ReplyDeleteThere is everything wrong with your mum asking your husband for money. This is how disrespect enters the chat. You have a responsibility to present your family in the best light always. Your mum should get any largesse through you, unless your hubby just randomly sends her something.
ReplyDeleteAnd your hubby is telling you to tell her the money has been sent, so you help him caution your mum. This will save him from talking to your mum in a manner she won’t like.
Families should help their female children have dignity in their new homes ☹️
Mystic
See you, see see finish
ReplyDeleteThis is totally wrong. In calm manner tell your mum to stop calling your husband for financial assistance rather she talks to u
ReplyDeleteTrue story
ReplyDeleteMy brother's wife came to my house with pregnancy,married her in let's say June gave birth in November. They met a month before.
Your mother asking your husband for money is a valid problem but nne you don't one problem at all.
What do we do in my family like this. Not really my problem,I will sit this one out. My brother is a bit worried my mother keeps talking about it.
P.S He didn't know
Forgive typos but nwanne ezigbom ugba akuola cos
Very wrong. Tell your mum to help you maintain mutual respect in your home by channelling her request to you or through you. Marriage in this era is like egg, na small thing dey crack or even breakam. Wisdom is needed.
ReplyDeleteThe son in-law is already irritated by not picking her calls and indirectly telling you to caution your mum.
ReplyDeleteSee finish has entered, she should respect herself and stick to the daughter.
Is wrong to avoid see finish, your mother should go and open her own account and stop using someone's account to collect money. Opening a bank account is very easy, even my mother that did not go to school has a bank account. Please your mother should talk to you about it and not to talk to your husband because she has free access to his phone.
ReplyDeleteExcept for your husband on his own decision to send her money which is fine, but calling him to ask him for money no no no no no. Is the way wives present their family to their husbands that will make them respect them. You can place your mother on monthly upkeep money, why i am saying this is so that you can avoid issues like your husband saying you should tell her he has sent it. If is every 1st of the month you send her money, if is every 25th of each month you can send her money.
Please make sure you discuss this issue with your mother to reduce the way she calls your husband. Some times your husband may not pick her calls cos he feels she is calling to ask him for money. Even when she wants to greet him, please make una respect una family name.
As a mother, our prayers is to eat the fruit of our labor. Well, just like Stella said,as long as your hubby isn't complaining,pls allow your mom enjoy till God calls her.
ReplyDeleteYour husband sef get for body. Why did he not call her on the same phone to tell her he has sent the money. He now had to tell you to tell her. Well, this simply means it is getting to him. I dont know your mum and cant tell how she will react if you tell her.
ReplyDeleteIf you give her money monthly, its best you collect from your husband and then add yours and send to her. Let her know it is coming from both of you. If you and your husband are salary earners, let your mum know she can only receive at the end of the month when you get paid.
This is so wrong.
ReplyDeleteYour husband passed the message to you so you can advise your mum to stop this. He's a good man but don't let this continue to avoid disrespect from any angle.
P.S - Your mum may not agree with you cos some parents can be so stubborn, just get ready to be firm about this.
It feels not right to me, but if she is aged, like 80 yrs old then it is fine. Any financial conversation should be had between the parent and their child. My mom would never do this unless I have passed away and she is in her 70s. Is your mom becoming forgetful or experiencing dementia, because if you have consistently sent money why would she need to contact your husband? Either she feels the amount is not enough or she is sharing with others. Please go on the ground and visit with her unexpectedly to see what she is up to. She may be up to something or experiencing some mental issues.
ReplyDeleteCould be too that the neighbour is shorting her and that is why she is reaching out for more. Please get on the ground and setup and account or find some way she can get her money directly and honestly.
DeleteRemember I am merely speculating, I have no proof the neighbour is pinching her money. Just thinking from all angles. Folks also love to ‘borrow’ money from old people if they know they have money, seen it with my two beady eyes. Again go see what is going on to see if she is experiencing elder financial abuse.
Poster: we don't need to paint this situation at all.. It's all shade of wrongs. Who does that? Even if the ur husband is so rich and also he doesn't complain, you as a person should try and talk to your mum before it's gets out of hand
ReplyDeleteSee finish sets in in most cases so why continue
ReplyDeleteThis is so wrong abeg. If your mum needs anything,she should tell you not your hubby. The worse is she's even collecting from your hubby and also collecting from you at the same time.
ReplyDeleteI believe your hubby telling you that you should tell your mum he has sent the money is indirectly complaining.
Pls let your mom know that she can tell you to send her money anytime and you'll send if you have.
Her actions is wrong but nothing just happens. How often do you and your husband send money to her? When she ask you for.money how long does it take before you answer her. Does she have other sources of income apart from you like other siblings.
ReplyDeleteNo matter how little, send money to her as often as it is within your ability. Plead with her not to ask your husband for money again no matter how desperate she needs money. Give her reasons why you don't want her to ask your husband money again eg. You don't want his family to look down on you. All will be well. Mothers are angels. She will listen to you
God bless you ooo
DeleteThank you @zaram. Best comment. Things are very expensive now and mama must survive
Deletethis is wrong abeg
ReplyDeleteChildren are now their parents pension plan. Na wa, African parenting is just rubbish. Everything is done for something.
ReplyDelete