Do you think it is a good idea to let your partner/ spouse know how much you have and who your net of kin on your property papers is? Do you think its a bad idea?
Do you know anyone who did this and it backfired? should a man expose his financial worth to his wife or girlfriend? I hear some people say its not a good thing but its not a big deal at all as it helps both parties plan the financial skirt of the marriageor relationship.
Are you married and hiding how much you have in the bank and how many properties you have? why? someone served you 'breakfast' or you know someone who was served 'breakfast' in that aspect?
Lets gist!
I will not let my husband know how much I have in the bank. I delete alert when I spend money from my bank account. He spends money like tomorrow no dey. I tried being transparent and learnt in a hard way I will not work for over 10 years and not have a house of my own in Lagos.
ReplyDeleteOgaooo
DeleteThis is my pops exactly. Spend like there's no tomorrow. Give even to your detriment.
DeleteBless you sis. Get smart ladies, Funke Akindele is an icon
Delete14:06
DeleteMay God reward you for your frankness.
Most women present this issue as only a men hiding issue.
The openness needed on this matter is from both marital partners.
Know who you are married to, and then plan your family finances based on how they are, if you have an extravagant spouse, you can keep things hidden so you can make better plans.
DeleteCouples should know who is more responsible when it comes to management and let that person be in charge of finances, but most importantly marry someone trustworthy, so that even if they are wasteful you can be open enough to let them know you are making plans that benefits the family.
I just found out today that many men put their brothers as NOK and I am wondering why they are married to people they cannot trust ?
Push up (original)
How can I like this several times. I believe that with cooperation,family grows. so Knowing who is the spender and saver will help couples achieve their goals
DeleteTake some responsibility. You chose to marry a spendrifth and all of a sudden you are a victim. Bad choices have bad outcomes. Let's hope he doesn't strangle you before retirement
DeleteThought the Bible says "the two shall become one"? so, why hide something as crucial as that from your spouse?
ReplyDeleteBut wait oh! What if the so called spouse is not being truthful on his/her earning... 🤷
I did not marry an 'alayebaje', so yes yes, we are each other's next of kin. No financial secrets between us, we both know where our monies are.
ReplyDeleteThe moment I bared out my earnings, my husband gradually changed, most of the upkeep were left to me, he started wanting me to invest in joint ventures, I did because it's till death do us part. Profits from the ventures were not forthcoming, I was incharge of one, the one he was managing crumbled, she asked that we revive it, I did. He was secretly funding women, till I got angry and pulled out. I filed for divorce, the judge have him equal of every thing we owned coz it was a joint venture. I have been building again. There is a new guy in my life, we married now, he knows my ventures, apart from my cumulative bank account, I only show him what o want him to see, I told him to keep his account from me, I'm not interested in knowing, he just pumps me with money, I'm cool with that. My ex doesn't pay child support because I'm capable, however my kids are above 20 now. My new husband has no kids, we are in the process of adopting, he's no spring chicken so it's the best I can do for him.
ReplyDeleteThis is what happens when some people decide to be open, the other person wants to play smart and becomes greedy.
DeleteIt’s best to invest in assets that are both in your full names.
Push up (original)
I know what my husband earns, it made me mentally calculate his spendings. I get unecessary BP over what he spends outside that I'm not aware of. I sometimes wish I didn't know. Would've been better. I have my own dough, he knows but still prefers to show me who's the boss when it comes to spending.
ReplyDeleteI don’t know why anyone should marry anyone they can’t trust. I have access to view my husband’s account details and he also has access to mine.
ReplyDeleteThis matter that brought about this gist has already left me so disappointed in many that I don’t even feel okay talking about it anymore
Eka, life happens. Some didn’t set out on the path they are, life just threw them there. Let’s just keep praying that life doesn’t change the course of our journey. Amen.🙏🏼
DeleteWell, there are partners and there are partners. There are relationships contracted for selfish reasons on the part of one or both of the couples and they are just managing or tolerating each other until one of them is able to escape. In a situation described above, abeg, everyone to himself.
ReplyDeleteThere are marriages entered into with sincerity, honesty , tolerance, love and friendship. The couple are free with each other? There's nothing to hide here. You share intimate details, have each other's PIN numbers, what is there to hide when the two of you have become one?
Hmmmmm
DeleteTo me once the love and trust is there, then why not.
ReplyDelete*paprika*
Why be there when the love and trust is not there? Does that not make the stay transactional - expectant of a gain?
DeleteMy elder brother put me as his next of kin. He married and took his wife abroad. They got issues and divorced, he only pays child support. He has remarried, I asked him if it's time to revert, he said no, I should hold onto the NOK and Power of attorney. He sends money to buy land, he asked that I buy as the owner, his building I pose as the owner because I have power of attorney too. I now got married, my wife saw those documents, I explained to her. Her next statement shooked me to the bones, she said I can claim them, I felt it was a joke, but she wasn't smiling. I'm a bit wary should anything happens to me. Money can change people. A good spouse can turn greedy with wealth within their reach. Well, my elder brother is also my next of kin, when kids arrive, I switch it to them. Proposing that I betray my brother is sacrilege to my ears, a total abomination.
ReplyDeleteNa wa for your wife
DeleteVery abominable
DeletePray your wife doesn't kill you to inherit these assets. I fear for you o.
DeleteThis is so hmmmmmmmm
DeleteI am freaking nervous around ppl like your wife, sleep with one eye open, and whatever you do don’t piss her off. Money will always bring out the true nature of a person. Tell your brother to come sort out his affairs and take over the responsibilities cause times are changing, make up any story you want to encourage him to take back his control.
DeleteAhh, you Don marry one chance woman, please be veryyyyy careful with her o, make she no go kill you.
DeleteFind a way to transfer those properties back to your brother and let her know (after you are done transferring not before o) so she doesn't kill you for nothing abeg.
Your bro had better get his property back in his name unless he wants to dash you.
DeleteYour wife is a Jezebel
DeleteNa the kain wife wey fit una family be that 🙄
DeleteYour what??? I pray you don't get killed 💔
DeleteYou married a witch. I am not scared of your wife but I am scared of you. The fact that you could still call her your wife shows you don't know the serpent you are living with. You better look for a way to return everything to your brother, before she takes you out of the way if she sees you are dragging your feet.
DeleteYour kind is rare considering the stories we hear of how people /relatives waste their sibling's money back home while lying they are building their houses for them and I like the bond you both share.
If she has kids would she want an evil woman to come between them? It is her type that snatches other people's boyfriends at the university.
Some of these wicked wives will enter a peaceful family and look for a way to turn it upside down and later be claiming one MIL is stressing them while the truth is they hardly wish their in-laws well.
You should claim your brother's properties? Everything he sweated for, his kid's inheritance? She wants to ruin your family.
Thank God you have some sense.
It is sad to see you did not marry well and I feel sorry for you because you seem like a good man.
When kids arrive, you say?
DeleteYou are still planning of having kids with such an evil person?
You think you are exempted and safe with her? I feel sorry for you.
Exactly anon 16:02. She is just like Jezebel on top of ordinary properties she wants to scatter the love between his family. She wants him to ruin his blood brother and turn him into a living dead.
What does she even take you for, suggesting you betray your blood? I feel sorry for those that are friends with her.
At anon 16:31, you're right oh. He shouldn't have kids with this woman. Bro you're supposed to run for your life oh. Since there are no kids, it's easier to run oh. God have mercy.
DeleteKindly throw that your wife away biko
DeleteWhat is this greed about
Please advice your brother to change his properties to his children's names, just tell him for reasons known to you, please let him change it immediately cus she can even kill you
Whattt
Push up (original)
Oga a witch is smiling with you and you're drinking Fanta, Haa very very sorry for you.
DeleteGuessmeey
15:37 💯 some women are mean!! That’s how they scatter home. Such entitlement!! He should claim them indeed.
DeleteIf you like your life this man, better watch your back cos that wife of yours is evil.
Sluttychic.
Guys calm down. The wife just sees him as mumu as per say the typical people from their area chop from what a relative sends from the abroad. Some chop all, while some chop only a part. Bro, nothing do you. Take care of your wife and you both are go for the long run. Once she is not hungry from your pocket, her eyes will be turned away from your brother's properties.
DeleteAnd your brother did not do any evil for it to be said your family deserves your wife. Certainly, she has good qualities that made you marry her.
Your brother did not live in Nigeria with his ex-wife. Divorce proceedings are settled in accordance with the laws of residence. What your brother pays to his ex-wife and or for his children is what was found by a court of law as due. Of course, he may choose to pay more that is why some people settle under which they pay more. In fixing the payable amount, the court considers the legal income of the man. In most well organized countries, it is easy to get a man's legal taxable income. It is only under-table-work income your brother can hide. So what your brother sends home should be presumed to be income after all legitimate deductions.
Mr. Mann
Noted guys: thanks for the thoughts resetting comments, A problem shared is solved. Even if he's insisting on me holding it, I'll convince him to reassess the kin stuff, atleast put his daughter or new wife's name, she is a nice woman from what he's told me.
DeleteThis kind woman can actually kill. Poster be careful.
DeleteSide eyes 👀 @ your wife.
DeleteGo and keep the documents in the bank, send details to your bros.
DeleteYour wife is mean no matter the lovey dovey she shows, be wise and careful.
Na wa for her.
This right here is why I fear for the sports man whose mum owns and runs his stuffs. If the mother ends up with such a wrong partner, hmmmmm, it will only take the grace of God he gets his stuffs back.
DeleteYour brother feared his own wife, now he don jam your own wife! Cunny man die, cunny man bury am. LOL
Deletecharles Awuzie's response is the best answer to all this. Yes your wive is your next of kin and she should know about your financial status.
ReplyDeleteKnow whom you married
ReplyDeleteDon’t pit your spouse cause that’s your spouse
If the person can’t handle money well, put somebody else
Simple. So long as you meet your marital financial obligations.
DeleteI recently lost a friend who was like a sister to me.she was a very successful business lady.she had lots of assest (lands and houses on Lagos island) but had no child after 10years of marriage. One day, she heard her husband speaking Yoruba with a female on phone, she was worried and needed to know why her hubby didn't speak English or their dialect, why speaking a language she doesn't understand. she and her husband are both from the south so she was tempted to know who the caller was. later while her hubby was asleep,she checked his phone. lo and behold,her hubby of 10years already have 2 kids with another woman which she was unaware of .
ReplyDeleteThis lady became worried and depressed cos she was unable to conceive after 10years of marriage,spoke to her hubby who initially denied,but later begged her for forgiveness.she kept thinking of this ugly incident till she gave up last month.she forgot to change the name of the next of kin from her hubby to any of her family members.All her houses and lands here in Lagos all have the name of her husband as the next of kin.
Now,she dead without a child, wouldn't her husband will her house to another woman? Pathetic 😔
Very pathetic. This comment just gave me headache.
DeleteSluttychic.
If you check now, her husband is responsible for her death.
DeleteThat woman better not rest until she destroys that useless man.
Her family better brace up and fight for her properties.
Sluttychic.
Sooo pathetic 💔 I’m heartbroken 😔
Delete-A
Some spouses are good others are evil minded. On this matter,No one size fits all so to each his/her own.
ReplyDeleteWhen you marry a good woman she has every right to know your finances and you also her finances. No secrets
ReplyDeleteI believe a couple should be transparent to each other but where one party has proven not to be trusted with those funds, then I support that certain decisions must be made
ReplyDeleteI believe that a couple should be transparent to each other too. But you see 4 times beaten 10 times shy.
ReplyDeleteSome men are decietful and full of lies that once they know your worth is from one lie to another
ReplyDeleteMoney brings out the beast in some people my ex nearly killed me because of small change while pregnant. Pls yall should be careful humans are unpredictable
ReplyDeleteI don't hide anything from my husband infact I have access to his account the way he has access to mine,I don't understand why people marry a partner they cannot trust.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby gives me his ATM to withdraw money. He doesn't even care what I have.
DeleteEven if he wan hide anything na him wahala, I.no send. I know everything about him.
Please just one point though.
ReplyDeleteNext of kinship does not give inheritance rights except -
(a) in the military and para-military/police services in Nigeria; and
(b) where transactional agreements/documents vest inheritance rights in a next of kin (properly called beneficiaries) in the agreement, for example, insurance policies.
Don't get carried away fighting to be nominated as next of kin when you are not named in the proper inheritance and benefits vesting papers.
I just say make talk as I know reach.
Great point. Please ask for a beneficiary form and update it as you change your mind on who you want to inherit. A will is even better but the beneficiary will inherit the assets even if another next of kin is named.
DeleteI had this argument with a newly married man many years ago and couldn't hide my disgust with his "women cannot manage finances so I have my brother as my next of kin" statement. I asked him if his wife cannot manage finances, he said it's women in general. To think this was someone that was supposedly educated, well travelled...made it more annoying.
This hiding of property and assets is the reason why some accounts are left dormant or properties abandoned when the person dies because their spouse had no idea they had those assets.
Na so.
DeleteOne late military made his 16 years old daughter his next of kin. Omo see dollar account for the small Hausa girl. Sole signatory is the girl, girl will.just enter bank withdraw 100 dollar for her younger brother's school fees in Kano. She comes with the father's younger brother. I pray they won't deceive the poor girl one day o.
Life is not black and white. Life has more colours than rainbow. Know your spouse and do what gives you inner peace. My siblings are my next of kin. My kids will replace my siblings as my NOK. If you have a perfect spouse, whom you can entrust your finances into their hands, enjoy!
ReplyDeletelol. If anything happens to you, you rather your siblings inherit your stuff than your spouse???. Wow
DeleteHmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteUnderstand who you are married to, try them with little wealth and see their attitude. If they cannot be trusted with small money please do not open up completely about your ney worth.
ReplyDeleteI was once very broke and revealed my status to my then husband,he complained bitterly to our marriage spokesman that I didn't have a pensionable job and was hiding my salary from him,he walked out on me during our first pregnancy,went through pregnancy alone and landed a mouth watering job,I told him how much am earning with proofs,I made him a promise that he will never benefit a dime from my sweat,married a super comfortable guy,who entrists all his finances to me and I have never cheated on my husband financially,as the saying goes cunning man die cunning man bury am.
ReplyDeleteHaven't cheated on your husband financially? So what kind of cheating have you indulged in for being specific?
DeleteAs long as you are married to a Nigerian man don't you ever on your life try it. They feel emasculated when women are doing far better than them. Their ego revolves around dominating and feeling big, that is their blood. Like mosquito. When they see you have money they will either ensure they drain you if it or they ensure they don't put in their own side of expenses.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Regardless of how learned they are. Most Nigerian men make more than their wives. The minute the reverse is the case they start to get uncomfortable in the relationship. Things that are a problem become a big problem.. it bothers their ego
DeleteI am a medical doc in the us. I earn more than my husband and have close to 200k in savings and a stock portfolio worth $150k. I’ve only been working for a few years . I can’t tell him what I’m worth. We come from different lifestyles. I’m stealth money and long term planning. He’s more let’s spend and send money home. We’ve fought over this but I’ve stood my ground. A husband has no business knowing how much his wife earns . He knows how much I earn because we file taxes together, and because we are living like oyibos. If we were in NAija I wouldn’t tell him anything and keep pretending. I am saving the money for my kids because left for my hubby he will give all his money to his mom and siblings. How can my kids not have any inheritance?
ReplyDeleteHe's misbehaving because he knows you'll pick up the slack. He probably feels emasculated by your paycheck so he's putting up a front at home, getting the craved worship as a provider.
DeleteDo you want a standing ovation? Your life your cross. Who give a shit?
Delete