Hmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CUTTING OFF A BEST FRIEND
Am I overreacting if I decide to cut my best friend 12 years off because she didn’t wish me a happy birthday two years in a row ?? This is someone who I spent about 200k on her wedding just this December coz she had done some bad investments and was cash strapped? I see how she posts her other friends on her status etc during their birthdays but she always claims to have forgotten mine . Am I overthinking it ?
Am I overreacting if I decide to cut my best friend 12 years off because she didn’t wish me a happy birthday two years in a row ?? This is someone who I spent about 200k on her wedding just this December coz she had done some bad investments and was cash strapped? I see how she posts her other friends on her status etc during their birthdays but she always claims to have forgotten mine . Am I overthinking it ?
What nonsense!; you asked her and she said she forgot yours but remembers others?
She forgot? Please cut her off,
Don’t cut her off yet. When it’s her birthday or anniversary , make sure you also “forget”
ReplyDeleteY’all embrace “dmidy”
Sluttychic.
Periodt!
DeleteI no dey bother myself.
Don't cut her off yet just reciprocate the gesture and be weary of such person.
No need keeping such people around, they keep you in a web of revenge.
DeleteI am happy you told her but her reply was so inconsiderate and the truth is that she doesn’t value the friendship as much as you do so just simply move on.
Seek out people who love and appreciate you with just the same intensity, you are adults no need for “high school, queen B” energy.
Push up (original)
@poster, do you usually do professional photo shoots with very fine pictures for your birthday? If you don't, she will never post you. People are so FAKE these days that the only people they "know" and "interact" with (in their fake minds) are very "tush" people. If you like, be their sibling, if you don't appear tush in your pictures, they will not post you. Know this and know peace.
DeleteBtw, what's the big deal about posting or not posting people's picture's on their birthday? I personally don't rate those things.
Some friends are so annoying, you are not overreacting cut her off.
ReplyDeletePlease tell her why you are cutting her off.
No need telling her, just cut her off.
DeleteCut her off, block her
DeleteMove on
E never reach to cut off o!
DeleteIt could be that she's facing lots of challenges that's bothering her, thereby occupied her mind even when she sometimes Post others own.
People are going through a lot.
Be calming down, please.😎
But she remembers other people’s birthdays though. Poster she’s done using you. You’ve expressed yourself to her and if she doesn’t change, let her be and just say hi off and on. Know your worth and respect yourself.
DeleteCut her off if that gives you peace.
ReplyDeleteShe may have relegated your friendship because of marriage, it will do your health good to move on from her too.
You call her your friend, does she call you her friend??? I do no think you are over thinking this. You asked her, and she said she "forgot". Just leave her, no hard feelings/bitterness towards her.
ReplyDeleteKnow your place in people’s life and act accordingly…
ReplyDeleteIf they take you like “A pinch of Salt”;never carry them like “A bag of rice”..
She is your bestfriend according to you,question is Are you her own bestfriend??
@MARTINS
Your first paragraph is the key,she may be your best friend but you are not her best friend.
DeleteYour second paragraph is so true. I give people the same energy.
DeleteYour third paragraph is so apt!
DeleteI nor know o. As everybody dey pick paragraph, I say make I pick too😣
🤣🤣 this my mummy Andre you be case o 🤣🤣 wetin I go do you like this.
DeleteMe I have learnt never to force frdship. If I notice you are not giving me the energy I am giving, I move . I need a frd that will mess up my mind.
DeleteFidel is a case 😂
DeleteAble GOD
DeleteInfact Fidel is a portmanteau not just case😂
Dear poster, she may be your best friend but are you her best friend? Infact, are you her friend? Mediate on this and make your decision.
ReplyDeleteI can be so petty,when I choose to,you dont need to cut her off,just know you both are not best of friend.when next it's her birthday,remind her a day or two before and on her birthday just develop amnesia.Two can play the game......infact I won't even put her on my status ever again....I hate nonsense.
DeleteNa so o @Mariam. As she Sabi forget, me too I go forget.
DeleteWhen you allow friends to choose you dey treat you anyhow. When it gets to her turn just pretend. Stop carrying her on your head like bread seller. Treat her the way she treats you
ReplyDeleteChai that thing can pain🤦
ReplyDeleteMy dear maybe you are not her main best friend, you are just one of her friends, you are the only one taking the bestie to heart,she no send you.
Don't cut her off, just detach yourself emotionally and forget her birthday too.
Funny thing is she might be doing it intentionally to hurt you because of one nonsense reason.
Side best friend
DeletePlease end that friendship yesterday!
ReplyDeleteI ended mine with my supposed best friend of 14 years last year over this same issue. They'll conveniently forget yours but remember every other persons'.
On my birthday, it's either they forget, or they'll view my WhatsApp status and make no comment.
But when its theirs, I'll post pix on my various SM platforms, do pararara , Stan, restan, understand, over-stan, below-stan for them.
Abeg I don try.
My 2023 motto : as you carry me, na so I'll carry you.... Simple!
Very passive aggressive bullshit people do to express suppressed anger, resentment, bitterness, jealousy etc
DeleteOne thing that I have learned about humans is that very few can handle being treated well. As much as humans love to talk about love, the majority cannot handle it, friction and strife is much more comfortable to deal with. You must treat ppl as they wish to be treated. When you notice someone prefers to eat mouldy bread instead of fresh food, then give them the mouldy bread, because that is what they are content with.
ReplyDeleteIf your spirit gives you to end the relationship, then end it. If you are unsure, then you can always pull back your energy by calling/visiting less, or overly engaging yourself in her concerns and staying aloof. Don’t ever force any friendship or love on anyone.
You are not over reacting at all. Pls do so for your peace of mind.
ReplyDeletePlease let's learn to treat people exactly the way they treat us. This life is very simple. I avoid any relationship that gives me emotional stress mbok.
ReplyDeletePoster she's your friend but you aren't her friend. If I were you eeh I'll just ignore her as in I'll give her the silence treatment. she has chosen her friends and you're not amongst them so stay on your lane. Mind who mind you.
ReplyDeleteThe energy you give me, is the energy I give you.
ReplyDeleteSimple.
I no dey ever do pass myself.
Ever.
There is one friend I told off 2weeks ago.
ReplyDeleteShe is so selfish and self-centered not just to me but to everyone around her including her family and fiance.
I am always the first to reach out to her, loan her cash even when she have so much money stacked in her fixed anf savings account.
when she comes visiting, I will cook for her, serve her the food, pick up the plates after she is done eating and do the dishes. when I go visit her, I also repeat the same chores in her house. Her only work is to stay on phone from morning till night. She is so addicted to social media that it is even affecting her relationship with her fiance.
Even if I am crying blood, she will never loan me cash but she earns more than I do. when I realised how self-centered she is, I sent her a voice note bearing how I feel about the whole thing and call off the so-called friendship
My peace of mind is paramount than any friendship.
My dear weigh the friendship. If you notice you give more, please end it. It should be balanced
Wow
DeleteWhere do you people get all these friends from
Well I have had almost the same friends since nursery and primary school, raised with almost the same values and morals, the ones I got in university I am just close to one cus I realized we grew apart.
But right from childhood, I have never known how to force something, and I have never been a follower.
But why do all of that for goodness sake?? No wonder why she took you for granted. You did too much to the detriment of your own mental well being. Na wa ooo. And she’s not even your husband. 🤦🏾♀️ know your self worth please.
DeleteI remember when i was calling someone my bestfriend throughout University. I would put all my effort, money and time into relationship. Even after University, i went in and made sure she knew i loved her. Some years after University, she was releasing pictures of people that impacted her life so much while in school. For 2 days straight, picture after picture after picture, none of me! Random people that she knew, class mates, roommates, friends, none of me. This is someone that lived with me for the 4 years of University. Someone that i wanted her to come and stay with me after University and she did not have a place to stay.
ReplyDeleteWe are still friends till today, but i know she was my friend, i wasn't hers. Not only because of the picture issue, there were several small things she did back then, that even my mother called me to warn me about [ My daughter, this girl is just using you, she doesn't like you]. The pictures just finished it for me.
You still kept such kind of girl and call her a friend? You are trying oh cos I would have deleted her since then.
DeleteWhat are you keeping her for? CUT HER OFF! Allow only valued people who value you come close , life is too short to accommodate traitors
DeleteAnon mumu ode. Mtscheww. Continue being her friend naw.🙄
DeleteLol..
ReplyDeleteSo this bad character dey reach Una side too.. I think say na only men dey suffer this kind things for babes hand
I think life is funny a lot of people dish things but can’t stand it when the same is netted out to them. They expect you to take them as they are and if you retaliate, they forget that they triggered you to act the way you act.
ReplyDeleteYou don't even need to give her any explanation, just ghost her. Mtcheeeeewwww, I hate nonsense
ReplyDeleteThat’s his one friend in the university who I’ll give food and cash to anytime she’s in need, once I even went as far as paying transport of close to 1k for her to send her 3k then because there was no POS then you could only transfer through ATM, housed her for some months after she graduated and was searching for a job. After I had my baby I was facing hard times, texted her on WhatsApp asking her to help me with money to buy my baby food and her reply was hurtful and rude. This was someone I went out of my way for countless times. After that I cut her off.
ReplyDeleteBest thing you did for yourself. How anyone can deny a baby food, medicine or diapers is beyond me. No matter how I feel about a person, I could never let their child suffer because of them. That was no friend, that was a blood sucking demon without a soul.
DeleteUSERS masquerading as friends
DeleteWhat are you waiting for from cutting her off or keeping her at arms length. This year my birthday I decided not to post any info about it on my status or any social media. No code to anyone just because I wanted to know those who love, who care, who has me at heart as my friends.
ReplyDeleteOn the day of my birthday I was calm and never posted anything to make them remember, some persons remembered and even sent me small gifts while some persons never remember. I have this gf that during her birthday I will not let people hear word but on mine she is always forgetting. Last year she posted me the following day even when I posted today is my birthday.
She apologize and I forgave her last year. During her birthday last year I posted in the morning, called her and even took her out in the evening after my work. From hanging out till we club. The following day we went to swim all to celebrate her birthday but this year this girl forgot my birthday again till the next day when I posted if you did not post me on my birthday me too will not post. That was the day she saw my post and posted me the following day after my birthday
Maybe she went on my Facebook page to get my birthday date and she apologize again telling me she forgot. Asking me why I didn't post anything on my status, I told her I wanted to know those who care so much about me. I told her this is another year and you are still doing the same thing but you remember others and you call me a friend. I sha told her not to expect any post from me on her birthday cos I will not do that, I told her to keep her apology cos is not necessary.
Since then I have kept her one side, she was asking me few weeks ago if we could hang out during Easter 😂🤣😂🤣 I told her I will be busy and not have time for hang out. Me that has deleted you as a friend😂😂😂😂😂 will just be looking at you from far.
If you and her are not close then you can ignore but the way you explained it omg just give her some space.
Ermmm. You’re childish yourself too. Grow up. I forgot my own birthday last year. Imagine if my friends use that to judge me. Eishhhhh. If someone shows up and beyond for you and it’s only birthday they forgot. Please don’t hold it against them. It’s really more than words,friendship
DeleteI agree with BV Martin's! Give them the same energy! I used to carry my friends birthday and put it on my status,but when it comes to mine,they suddenly forget,me self I receive sense and gave them the same energy,I remember the sacrifices I made for some of them in school,such is life,no hard feelings
ReplyDeleteI have this friend that calls me a lot, like always checks in. But I don't return same energy. I only support her financially with rent, food, clothes, but I don't call or text. She has complained, I promised to change but I find myself at default setting the next day. I care about her, but you see calling, naaa, text zero. Not only her, even family. I just like Solitude, and in return, People flood m'y inbox with messages and calls everydamnday, maybe it's coz I show love financially.
ReplyDeleteThat’s just what it is. Na because you show love financially. Stop the financial aspect and you’ll see how quiet your phone will be. Since you love solitude, you’ll finally get a full and correct one right?
DeleteNne were(use) razor blade cut the damned fship off, for you to come through for her means you valuee the rship, even if she forgets at least she can post later ,but once she is not doing that nne Zip your money and let those pple she is posting come thru for her nonsense
ReplyDeletePoster you are the only one befriending this lady, she no send you, she no rate you, she dey use you.
ReplyDeleteCut her off as fast as lightening .
What rubbish.
She is not your friend.
Don't feel bad for all you have sacrificed for her, just move on, life happens.
Na e make me no dey do friendship things o.
That's how when my father died my supposed best friend didn't come to visit me all through, neither did she send me anything.
If she came I would have felt very good even if she didn't give me any money, cos everything is not about money.
Fast forward to this year her father died and she was expecting me to follow her to village and even send her money.
Omo I be don dey mumu plan as I wan take give her 50k.
Na e she do one rubbish thing come dey quarell me say since two days I no call am to check on am, this thing vex me no be small. All the ones wey I dey call am shey na she dey remind me to call ni?
I narrate the matter to my sister, my sister vex, she come remind me of how this friend never patronise my business for once, yet I wan bring out 50k give am.
Omo I come seize opportunity lock up.
Na mouth condolence I send give am.
No time for rubbish.
We still be friend, but everybody dey their dey
Poster Make you open your eyes, use your head, no let any idiot use you.
Poster do not cut Her off pls, just give her same energy she gives you.
ReplyDeleteMy suppose bestie at the time did same thing to me, people who even know us together asked me if we were fighting. Her next birthday i too did same and the next before her brain set (e be like say the thing pain her)
It was at this point i realized i have been the one giving and giving, i just hold my side and started giving her as little as she gave me.
Today we are still friends but not close again, this life always put yourself first even as a mom i put my self first sometimes.
Send who send you period.
Pay her back, stop giving her your money and keep her at arm's length. My husband's close relativedid the same. Before I married my hubby, I do post her and her kids on their birthdays and she reciprocated. Then one month after our wedding was my bday, hubby even chatted her on my day not to forget to wish me cos I was mourning a brother, she replied "okay" she didn't wish me nor post my picture but she was in my dm whyning me about the dead, what killed him bla bla. Hubby reminded her again at night and she ignored d chat only for her to post her friend at 4am the following day sending her birthday wishes. My Oga carry d matter for head pass me but I told him to fashi it, maybe she's angry about something that I'm not aware of. Long story short, I viewed her child's birthday post and I also strolled past it, no wishes, no posting. I will continue to do so till they kingdom come. First to do no dey pain.
ReplyDeleteNo need to cut her off. Just learn to forget her own special day too, she will adjust! I'm that petty that if you don't wish me Happy Birthday on my day, I will be too busy viewing your status yet, will not post or wish you till after the day. I discovered that some people I regarded as frds don't actually see me as one so, I maintained my lane!!
ReplyDeleteIs this what qualifies as a chronicle now ??? On top of happy birthday. Anyway, poster are you that dependent of validations?? You gave her 200k, the person that gave her 500k will now do what???
ReplyDeleteYou have already put a financial tag on your friendship which is 200k so if she returns said 200k it's ok to ignore your birthday wishes then. My dear if you want to cut her off please do so but don't use the birthday wishes as an excuse. This is something you've decided you'd do since she got married and you just found your excuse.
For me I don't celebrate or post anything about my birthday, infact nobody knows my birthday except this year I posted in on this blog a day after. I don't have anybody's birthday by heart except my family members. When you post, I help repost and wish you well.
ReplyDeleteFor poster, no need stressing yourself just ghost the so called best friend, mute her status or pretend not to remember or see her birthday post.
Am I the only one that doesn't have besty?, I don't know, I don't know how to do best friend, infact, I don't have a very close girl friend.
ReplyDeleteSame but I want to.😭 I keep meeting gf’s that hardly call or sometime don’t even respond to my messages self and I’ll go all out always asking when to hang out. I’ve recently stopped reaching out and my phone has been very quiet lately but I’m ok with it because im working on enjoying my own company first and working on myself and figure out why I attract these type of people. Do I come across as too needy or what? So yea I’m taking my time so I can meet quality friends who value my friendship and I’ll value theirs.
DeleteI cut off my friend if 15 years last year and I’m happy because she doesn’t see me like I see her I started seeing the signs for a while. I’m a single mum and she is a singu lady but envious of me.
ReplyDeleteLast year she met s guy and they had an issue so I was calming her down to take it easy with the guy as they just met do don’t overreact or overthink that’s how she cut the phone on me trying help her o me I just blocked her everywhere sharply no time for insults as that’s my limit.
She kept asking my other friend about me so I rang her this feb to make peace with her and still she felt she is in the right I realised I have out grown out friendship a long time ago I just didn’t realise it. Anyway peace was made but we are no longer friends we don’t talk and I’m happy!
I have a friend who wishes me a happy birthday casually. But her own, I would update my WhatsApp and even call her. I noticed it last year but let it go; she did same this year. She just said " Happy birthday mrs" omo I am giving same energy next month that's her birthday.
ReplyDeleteI don’t even know why you people do all this nonsense. It’s so childish and high school. Just send a birthday message and move on. All this uploading on WhatsApp is for what? More than Half of your friends on your WhatsApp don’t even know her so what’s the point. Send a simple and short message and keep it moving. Na wa o.
Delete@4:30, see as I shock reading the comments. I can never understand the need for people's validation. Ha!
Delete