THE LINGERING EX WIFE
I'm currently dating this divorced man. He's properly divorced with documents. Problem is, he calls his ex wife every day.
I'm currently dating this divorced man. He's properly divorced with documents. Problem is, he calls his ex wife every day.
They talk about kids and random things. He tells her about his work, day, and they laugh a lot. She knows I'm now in his life but she doesn't seem to care. I'm pissed, I don't know to tell him to stop.
I wish they were at loggerheads so that they won't be talking to each other every day.
He has taken me to visit his kids, I felt off, the children didn't come close to me. Their mom offered us food, he ate as if he hasn't eaten all his life. I'm not a bad person but I wish they don't see eye to eye. If you are going to be friendly with your ex wife, why did you divorce her?
When I asked why they divorced, he said they argued over a lot of things, they never seem to reach a compromise, she was too demanding, incompatibility in most areas, she was not a career woman, she nags a lot, etc.
He tried his best to establish her, but she has no head for successful things, she wants to be spoonfed, so they divorced. Why is he now friends and dropping money like no man's business?
I'm just pissed. We are talking marriage and he's not excited, he wants low key, but I want a proper wedding. We go run am anyway.
All this over niceness will stop soon.
Please find out if this man you want to marry is still in love with hi ex before you enter any marriage with him...Forget the story he has told you, some men can lie to get whatever they want......His spending so much time on the phone with her to your knowledge is disrespectful and if still doing it might mean his heart is involved...
That woman will always be in his life no matter how much you talk to about it.
ReplyDeleteYou sound low key wicked and the kids have perceived that from you. With this writeup of yours, you have the tendency to be wicked to those children and even try to make their dad stay away from them.
I don’t see you treating those kids as yours.
Go and look for a single man and marry before you poison someone.
Sluttychic.
This is not about her being wicked, what she is asking for is fair enough, how can her boyfriend be rubbing his past relationship in her face.
DeleteOnly thing left is for her to respect herself and move on.
Put yourself in her shoes, would you want to be an afterthought in your man's life?
She didn't cause the divorce so why should she be at the receiving end or get the shorter end of the stick.
Would you be comfortable with the relationship if you were the woman? Let's not advice what we can't condone happening to us.
DeleteThe childrens' behavior towards poster has nothing to do with what you wrote. What if the children see the poster as reason for their parents break up? Do they know why?
Dainty,is this man the only man in the world? Or the flags are not red enough?
DeleteDainty, let her leave. The red flag is glaring nowwww. Life can never be fair but if we’ve been opportune to make choices, then we should know what's good for us. It's obvious he is still into his ex, let her leave naa. You can't change an adult. We all know this and still choose to hurt ourself
DeleteWhy not give him some space and see how he will feel about you.
DeleteI think he just wanted someone around him as per body no be firewood. Find out from the wife.
The man was more inlove with his wife than she was but they had to break up. She was probably great housewife which is not a bad thing but he always desired the “greener bush”
DeleteNow he has had his freedom but can’t still let go of her so he is holding on to what she offers him “great friendship” the moment she offers more, he will be running back into her arms.
The woman owes you nothing but should do everything to make sure her kids are okay… financially and emotionally.
I think you should look for someone else
Push up (original)
I had already made my comment down there that she should leave ASAP.
DeleteI just responded to slutty's comment of her being wicked.
No flag here.
DeleteNa red billboard.
Yet Poster wants to go on. Is it abouts Poster ready for the fight it will take to stop what she currently does not like.
A grown divorced man is worth so much fight?
By the way, I am a male.
Poster
DeleteWalk away
I repeat
Walk away
He wants to eat his cake and have it
@sluttychic... You're right. The Chronicle just didn't sit well with me. The man has kids with his ex, what do you expect??
DeleteAlso, to all you naysayers, some people become tight friends post break-up and it doesn't mean there's anything else going on..as difficult as it is for ever sceptical Nigerian females to believe.
Nobody tie her leg there. If she's not ready, let her bounce. She's a bad vibe.
Why do some of you women like going for men with baggage? If this isn't desperation, then I don't know what it will be called.
ReplyDeleteThe red flag is glaring and you still wanna venture into it.
Good luck.
All the best..
Nawa oo
DeleteBaba surely get funds..
DeleteThat's why she wants to die there..
Atink you see am.
DeleteEx wife no gree go.
Current girlfriend wan by force herself inside.
“We go run an anyway”
ReplyDeleteWhat manner of desperation is this??
The red flags are always there but we most times choose to ignore. Poster pick your battles wisely. you are clearly all alone. Can you win this? Remember he divorced his wife now turned BFF, he can always do it again. Think twice of your future please
DeleteThe African insurance wey she go use deal with the guy,that's what she's banking on.
DeleteMoney is the root of all evil.
DeleteIs like the man loaded
Can you please end this relationship now and face God for your own husband. Can't you smell the coffee?. This affair will drain you physically and emotionally if you insist and go ahead to marry this man. You are not married yet and things are like this. Imagine what happens when the woman and her children sees you as a competition. That man is not ready to remarry yet. He might even go back to his ex
ReplyDeleteSo many red flags but I guess being married trumps all
Delete(1). We go run am anyway. (2). All this over niceness will stop soon.
ReplyDeleteThe first statement reeks of desperation.
The second one is a wild dream. If you think this will stop, then you don't know what's coming. If a man who wants to marry you can't hide his relationship with his ex wife from you, just know that he's still very much into her and will definitely end up with her again when the time is right.
Now that you have seen it all and not happy with the situation especially when he's not excited about the marriage, kindly take a walk except you want us to read another chronicle, the part 2 of this one.
I actually see those comments as a threat to his ex wife and children.
DeleteDesperation breeds danger.
Leave her na
DeleteLet her keep whining herself
It’s funny when some women think they can control men because they offer them sex, you’d be so shocked.
The man’s heart is obviously still with his ex wife, so I really pity her. The moment she gives him an ultimatum he will bounce 🤣
It will even be the excuse he uses to leave her.
Dear poster, except you intend to use juju which will eventually back fire on your head. Just leave them alone.
Push up (original)
Na wa!! Una go see red flag still waka enter. Later una go dey write epistle.
ReplyDeleteNa polygamy you dey enter so. That woman will deal with you, both physically and spiritually.
ReplyDeleteThis one still wan marry this man, gooosh I am pissed. So why the chronicle when u know say u go run am
ReplyDeleteSo despite all what you're seeing, you still want to put yourself inside abi?
ReplyDeleteLet me tell you the real truth, he's still in love with his ex, he might not like some of her characters that made them divorced, but I can bet you, he will so compare you with the ex and eventually pick her over you, he will later realize he can cope with most of those characters than yours. You can never fit into that man's life, unless you go diabolical about it
*Larry was here*
Am laugh in Swahili you don't enter friend with benefits that man is still in love with his wife and with children you are the outsider ,why are women like this is marriage the only thing they think you see fire and you are speaking grammar..and plenty I wish I wish ,I wish kill you there ,ode
ReplyDeleteThe only problem I see here is you haven't spoken to him about how this makes you feel . You need to .make him know you don't like it and if he continues you call it quit.
ReplyDeleteDespite all the reasons he gave for the divorce, be informed that man is still in love with his wife. For your own sake, leave that relationship at least watch from far. So u won't cry ur way out later
ReplyDeleteI don't think you need us to put you through anything because you have made me understand better that, in any condition or situation you find yourself u go run am anyway.
ReplyDeleteDalu
Don't come back here saying men are scum after seeing all the red flags, yet you ignored them because of your own way of life.
Atu e Lara ooo
Why are you marrying someone else’s husband?? When she’s alive and still very much involved with her husband. God is not joining this type of marriage gba be. Desperado!! Go and find your own man and you better don’t go diabolical on his family! Evil woman.
ReplyDeleteWhy are you marrying someone else’s husband??
DeleteOn point
She’s marrying someone whose heart is with another
Your man is still in love with his wife, stop deceiving yourself that they are divorced. That man is not divorced anything, you better forget about this man and start praying for a man to come into your life. Your man is not ending anything soon with his wife
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm
ReplyDeletePoster, your man will never stop not even when he's married. So, you better decide on what you really want. Have you thought of where and whom he will go to if you two have a misunderstanding. The decision is yours.
ReplyDeletePoster I have no words for you. I’ve said it that Nigerian women will suffer on earth and still continue the suffering in hellfire.
ReplyDelete1. You don’t have love in your heart so you are definitely go to hell, if you like marry him ten times over. Marriage ends here in earth
2. Desperate wicked woman, who wants to bear “Mrs” by fire by force. Shebi you go “run am anyhow” Get ready to live anyhow in the marriage he is not excited about
You don’t know what’s waiting for you
I laugh in Swahili!
You think you have well laid down plans to make him distant to his children or his ex wife?
Lol! I rest my case
You will not dust your slippers and find your square root now abi? Dey play, just dey play!!
ReplyDeleteThose 2 people are still in love, it took them staying apart to start missing each other, you are the extra tire right now.
Please move over and find your own, keep moving and don't look back please, because it's going to be a very loveless union if you insist on getting married to him.
You this girl is not normal. You go run am anyway on top this red flashing light? Ok ooo
ReplyDeleteMust be desperation to get married because
Since "you go run am" regardless of the redflags that are glaring...aunty it's official you are DESPERATE and you are in for the money.
ReplyDeleteHowever, the man is so disrespectful if he is calling her right in front of you. There's no need to ask you check if he is still in love, you already know that. Some people are better off not married but they will be best lovers.
But shaa 'go run am oo" and come back later.
It’s unfortunate for you.
ReplyDeleteYou equally sound arrogant and wicked.
Quite unfortunate, honestly.
Desperate and arrogant.
Okafors law is dragging the man, you are trying to put head
Deleteleave which relationship? Una go dey advice something that you cannot do. Na so he easy to find man that will propose marriage?. Let her learn how to cope with him and his ex wife. Everybody can judge from their high table but you see this husband thing, its not easy. If you have a man that is not abusive, but takes care of you and is responsible, by all means go for him.! No man or marriage is perfect! Everybody dey manage wetin dem get.
ReplyDeleteIt's unfortunate how some of you see marriage as an only life achievement
DeleteOkay she should not leave, but you see the breakfast waiting for her… she must still collect it and it will hurt more by the time she has children in the mix.
DeleteThat man would go back to his wife immediately she tells him to come home, so how long will she continue to be the odd person out? Oya o
She should continue to give herself heartache
Poster DO NOT DO THIS🛑 This man needs supplementary income and may have seen desperation or low self esteem and lied to you. He loves his wife and children, we are talking children here! He is crazy about them but needs you because you are a career woman with income. He will use your hard earned income to subsidize his support to them while not being emotionally available to you. You will not really be happy but will be stuck as you start having your own kids, the competition with the possibilities of going spiritual in Naija will start as the woman obviously still loves him. They may want to get back after using you financially.
ReplyDeleteGo ahead only if you have low self esteem or think you rely on something to make him stop being friendly with them. Please pray for your own man. I advise ladies that to only marry a divorced man who was with a westerner, and was never really in love (some black Americans trap with pregnancy for child support, some for green card) and never lived with the woman. That way they don’t really have feelings for each other and their society spells out boundaries & responsibilities even if one child is involved. They drop off the kid with backpack for the other at McDonalds parking lot, no “okafor” or such!
You are walking into a monogamous “polygamous” marriage. You think she won’t have friends who like her in his extended family after many years of marriage and many children? You are already unhapppy about it, how will marrying him make things better? The kids are never vm going to like you as they see the friendship between their parents and will see you as the intruder. Why do people walk into problems with eyes open in these days of the internet? Don’t do it.
Internet or not.
DeleteWoke or not
The typical Nigerian woman (even typical woman anywhere) wants a man to cater for her.
The problem with marriage today is that women hold on to that (some even get it) but wants to claim other contrary privileges and rights mostly under fake feminism.
Madam poster,go get yourself a career and leave the man alone to enjoy life with his sidechic cum ex-wife,most men treat their divorced wives better especially if the lady is achieving her financial goals,when you eventually marry you will only answer the name of wife,while he lavishes his attention on his ex- wife,please go and build yourself financially and spiritually,a man's money won't make you successful.
ReplyDeleteThis story no complete for me, some desperate ladies use means to push a man to separate from his wife and cos of it the man still going back to his family , reason, he is being manipulated.
ReplyDeleteMost times when men are done and divorced in marriage, they are just friendly when children are involved except when there was a side chic that caused havoc in the first place, then the man is divided.
And poster saying" we go run am" maybe don run am before jare
You want to use your legs to enter trouble all in desperation to answer 'Mrs'. That man is still very much inlove with his ex, you are the stumbling block to their reconciliation. Leave these people to reconcile in peace miss desperado
ReplyDeleteIt didn’t work for bill gates wife
ReplyDeleteAfter 20 years she had to leave somebody’s husband
This is what happens when you marry a man that’s in love with someone else
Even with children, support him business, support him growth,manage the home
Delete🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteYou see this kind of red flag, infact red banner and you still want to chuk head, this world can never be balance until women start respecting themselves and know their worth.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, we will be waiting for the update of this chronicle, just give us the link to this one when you send the update.
You are seeing danger and still shouting we go run am.
ReplyDeletePoster, u have not told us the the deep thoughts in ur heart.
ReplyDeleteU go run am... this ur comments irks of a woman who has a sinister plan. U wan "off" ur competitor & her children?
Ur plans no go work In Jesus Name.
Go find ur own man, cos that man no go leave his wife in the next 600yrs.
Bet me.... ur plans no go work.
Poster why bother to send chronicles for advice when you know you will still run it anyway according to your statement?nothing we say here that will change your mind...I wish you well in your running things
ReplyDeleteExactly o
DeleteWhy the epistle?since you go run am anyways
ReplyDeletePlease don't go ahead with the marriage,he is still in love with his wife. I wish you luck. Be patient! You will meet somebody else,the man may be comparing you and the ex wife,iam sure she is a better cook than you,he may be seeing things his ex has that you don't have,maybe he doesn't know how to tell you to leave that explains why he calls her in your presence, sometimes you just have to think like a man.
ReplyDeleteHim spending lavishly on her is a way of trying to win her back,wake up and smell the coffee
Hmmm poster e be like you wan continue dey write chronicle all your life.
ReplyDeleteThis man you described here is in love with his ex wife.
All those excuses he gave is not even enough for him to divorce and hate his wife.
Na wa o.
That is why he is obviously happy and warm with her.
This man is in love with his ex.
The earlier you realise this the better for you...
Hmmmmmm
We go run am anyway.
ReplyDeleteAll this over niceness will stop soon.
just because of Mrs title
Dey play
Dear Poster, he was probably not as matured as he is now. If the times were different he would still be wth her. In fact i think if you leave him, they will get back. Pls leave him. You are not his priority. And it will not change. You will not be happy with this man.
ReplyDeletePls leave him alone so he can reconnect with his ex wife. Thats what he wishes for. He just hasn't said it. All the best.
You may have some issues with this marriage if you still go ahead.i will advise you let go for your peace of mind.
ReplyDeleteAll these over niceness must stop keh, see this madam feeling on too the world like she's the best thing that happened to the man. You think if worse comes worst, the man will choose you over the ex wife and his kids? You better knack yourself some sense before you end up marrying yourself in the bid to run am by all means
ReplyDeletePoster wants to use kayamata ooo. You are just in love with his money, shikena. You go run am, how? By Separating his kids from him and become the wicked step mother when he marries you. Na your type go even kill that man when you eventually have your kids, so that all that he has goes to your children. You don’t have a good heart, that’s why his kids avoided you during your visit.
ReplyDeleteI know what he is doing his wrong but both parents need to create a positive relationship for those kids. If you can’t handle it, leave him alone.
They are still married to each other spiritually and emotionally and that is what you are witnessing. Don't you find it odd that he said she was not driven and wanted to be spoonfed, yet he is still dropping big money on her like a husband would a wife? He is spoonfeeding. He adores her even with her flaws. They are only divorced on paper, these ppl are still bonded, you are the intruder.
ReplyDeleteYou can either adjust to being the third wheel in their lives or go find where you will be adored and the center of your own man's life. But anyway you take it, this will be a three person marriage if you pursue marriage with him. If you are willing to share, then continue. But do not complain later if you do not complain now, you know 100% what you are entering into. They have shown you in living colour. He could have let you meet the children at his place, but he took you to her home where he ate like a hungred. Abeg, no form fool. If the money is what is holding you there, then be willing to earn your Mrs. with hard labour.
On a side note, they do seem like pleasant and well adjusted ppl.
I need not add more to what others have said. You lost me at that “calling everyday”. Some really in love dating couples don’t even talk everyday. Those two have a deep bond of friendship, and that my dear is the hardest to break. Leave now or one day in the marriage he will tell you to stop nagging, he will remind you he never hid it from you so you knew exactly what you were dealing with from the scratch. I know it’s hard but turn to God, I know it sounds cliche. But God does have all the answers and he will settle you. Don’t get carried away by the perception of comfort you think you’ll get from this man, you’ll not be happy in the marriage because there will always be someone who comes before you. And let’s not forget your kids, they might also be ‘other’ kids. Sis be guided, don’t drag yourself and unborn kids into this potopoto.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm. Poster eh, what is this? You go run am. All this niceness must stop. Hear you. You are desperate for marriage because money is involved. This man does not want marriage nor more kids but you are the one pushing it.
ReplyDeleteHe just wants a girlfriend but you want more. T
Just try it and it will back fire because we have warned you.
his your desperation will lead to frustration that will make you go diabolical on the man and his kids.
Dear poster,
ReplyDeleteDeep down you are a wicked person and you know it.