Hmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED
I am not meaning to sound petty, but I intend calling off my engagement because my fiancé and I are not friends on Facebook. That sounds silly, right?
My fiancé accepts requests from random people on social media. Whether he knows you or not, your friendship request is accepted, so why should mine be turned down? The worse part is that after he declined my request, I can't send him another request.It's the disrespect for me, guys.
Hmmmmmm....... this is a tough one!
Have you discussed this behaviour with him? Is he doing anything on Facebook that is hidden can you not see his posts? Is his page private? Don't you think calling off the wedding is going too far? I have a friend who rejected her husbands friend request on Facebook.
My hubby does not have a social media handle but if he had, trust me I would block him as well... Hehehehehhehehe.
You want to call of your engagement cos your fiancé won’t accept your request on Facebook?lmao what won’t I read online these days.
ReplyDeleteFacebook wahala.😬
DeleteSis, it is not necessary. Can't you view his post? 🤷♀️
I hardly do SM with my husband of almost 20yrs. He is not that interested with Facebook. I have stopped posting pics on my wall even birthday. Whatsapp na occasionally.
We have other things keeping us busy..
By the time real marriage starts, you won't have time for this nonessential distraction.
Rethink your decision and I hope anger does not make you take decision you will regret tomorrow.
I have been married for 27 years. About 10 years ago my husband declined my FB friend request, I was angry initially but then, he is the best husband any woman can ask for. I am too inquisitive and can cause wahala over little thing he post or react to so I understand.
DeleteCreate a fake account and add him
DeletePoster, I hope you see this comment and take some of the advice here that speaks to your situation. First, you alone know why you feel offended with his friendship denial on FB. Are you suspecting him of something? Did you ask him why he declined the friendship request? Can you create a false account and request for his friendship again? But why would you do that? You alone still know the answer.
DeleteI will tell you a little about me and social media. I have been married for over 25yrs. Married very young. My husband is older than me by 9yrs+ Personally, I am not a good fan of social media. I don’t mind calling people and speaking for how long the discussion might take us. My first time on FB was when it was still a new and ‘big’ thing. My husband is very jealous, even jealous of my dad and brothers (I have 9 brothers). The day he became my friend on FB was the same day both of us deactivated our accounts. He will read my posts and what others posted on my page, he will correct the tenses, he will observe how my comment might lead someone on or how theirs might lead me on. It was torture. To me, I value him more than FB, so I deactivated my account and that was the end of FB. When it comes to WhatsApp, if I post a picture on my status, the picture will be scrutinized for my smile, dressing, or even lightning. My English will be corrected or what I posted might look a show-off. So, if I must post anything on my status, I will just block him and all that will lead the post to him even if it is his birthday picture. It might be the picture I used was not his favorite. Why all these long epistles? Every relationship and person are unique. Just ask yourself why he denied your request. If there are red flags, talk to him and call it off. You cannot marry someone you will stay awake at night thinking where or what he/she is doing. Girl, when I keep my head on the pillow and my husband is not with me, I pray for us all and never spent another second worrying where or what he is doing at that moment. I trust that wherever he is and whatever he is doing cannot be hidden before God. That’s our motto. And when we shake, we open up to each other before we slip or fall. Again, what do you think led to his denial?
I left a WhatsApp group after adding my spouse to the group. We are not connected on social media except LinkedIn.
DeleteI didn't even accept my hubby friend request, I told him that I won't accept him and I didn't, same as his family. And I just like it that way for some personal reasons. You are too Petty
DeleteAnon 20:11, your husband controlling and criticizing your posts, even on WhatsApp is not love. It was a way to silence your voice. You accepting to stop posting because of what he’d say is you giving your power away. Your voice is your power, and you should be able to express yourself in your own way. Correction is nice, but not criticism and judgement. Be careful. It won’t stop with social media.
DeleteYou never serious for life sister. If the next bobo do the same, you will also call off the engagement, even if it happens in marriage. For your information, there are guys who don't like being friends with their partners on social media, either for private reasons or for the kind of things they do on social media which they don't want you to see. Meanwhile, with this mindset of yours, na so so wahala you go dey cause for your relationship. You fit even breakup because he no kiss you one day.
ReplyDeleteNo be everything be gra gra biko nu
ReplyDeleteSpeak with him and let him know how you feel about it first
This one hard sha, but I think you should have a heart to heart decision with her and find out why he has decided not to allow you be his friend on Facebook. If he said he cannot accept your friend request please do same with your Facebook page also.
ReplyDeleteNo need to call of your engagement cos of Facebook page, except you are not comfortable with his attitude or you have something else you didn't not mention to is. If you confront him and he didn't say anything meaningful please walk away.
My dear, if he treats you well and takes care of you.. Then, he may just be waiting till after the wedding to add you up..And he may not want his private life in the open too. And lastly, my recent communication with people on social media, I discovered almost all of them are married but pretending to be single.. Not like I care Because I don't date people from social media, yes,it works out for a lot of people but I'm not comfortable with it. Most guys pretend to be single and if some even show of their marriage but message you that they are separated or he loves you.. I wouldn't ask you to go through his phone to avoid creating issues or headache for yourself..just sit him down and asked him why he doesn't want you both to be friends on social media
ReplyDeleteMany of them are scammers on dating apps and Facebook is where they lure their victims. If there are 4000 members on any dating site, Nigerian men are at least 3700, using their real picture or oyinbo face to scam people. And their location is all over the world even though they reside in Nigeria. They are the worst thing that has happened to Nigeria and tarnishing the image of this country. From scammers to drug mules and cultist in Italy, Malaysia, SA and Dubai. I hate them with passion.
DeletePoster calm down first and try to have a discussion about it with him if you haven't. Whatever you do, please don't make any decisions while angry!
ReplyDeleteNne nwayo nwayo
ReplyDeleteSounds like two last borns engaged here 😅
ReplyDeletePoster e no mean anything na.
ReplyDeleteWhat is he hiding?? Maybe your wahala is too much and you would be policing every of his move on fb.
ReplyDeletePerson wey wan call of engagement cos of Facebook don already tell you say she get wahala.Wetin u need again?
DeleteHe's possibly into shady deals
ReplyDeleteThe decision is yours to make and 👋 you just do you
Two things there; either he does stuff there and wouldn't want you to know or see or he's sees no reason you guys should be fb friends as husband and wife. Some look at it from the side of "we live together, see everyday, why be my friend on fb?"
ReplyDeleteIf you suspect him, use one of your friends or siblings account to check him out.
It's not that deep.
"it's not that deep" cha cha cha
DeleteWhy giving yourself unnecessary headache? 🤷
Prior to unfriendimg him on Facebook, I hacked into his social media accounts and discovered he was a chronic cheat. We broke things up and got back after a year and that was when I decided to send him a friend request. This person accepts random requests and rolls out over a 100 to women only in a day ( not kidding). I feel he is up to no good again. The worse part is that I can't see shit on his page now since we aren't friends..
ReplyDeleteSo you really think he has changed?
DeleteLmaoooo
You’re on a looong thing.
You’re about to use your two legs and walk into an open marriage.
I wish you luck!
Hian
DeleteSo what are you still doing with him after you’ve discovered this?
DeleteMake una dey deceive unaself
Maybe it is for the money.
DeleteCut future heartache off and walk away. Avoid diseases and marital chaos from a hardened selfish clown determined to mess his life up and drag you along for the damage .
DeleteHe is on self destruct mode, back away and keep walking
You deserve better. The signs of a turbulent marriage are there in front of you. Instead of walking into the turbulence, please head to the opposite direction. It is a painful decision but the pain ahead is worst! Choose your pain now. One will give you a better future, the other pain if you marry him will ruin your future.
DeletePlease create a fake Facebook account and send him a request
ReplyDeleteMy own relationship status is still hanging on Facebook because my husband has not accepted that we're married, it's over nine years now, Poster, should I end the marriage because of that? Hahaha, I understand how you feel but to me e no mean anything, but then you can ask him why he rejected your request, from his response you should be able to deduce if he's doing that to protect you or he's a player. Shine ya eyes.
ReplyDeleteHe may be avoiding something. I think he is one of these toxic men that shows their venom through their comment and post online pretending that its cruise and once he accepts your friend request, you will see a side of him that you didn't know exists.
ReplyDeleteIf you've not made too much fuse about this don't call the engagement off yet, create a fake account with pretty pictures and request him again. Monitor his posts and comment, he may be one of the toxic ones pretending or it may be nothing at all.
It’s odd to be honest
ReplyDeleteYou get my point. He cheated massively on me and Facebook exposed that. We were friends there and on other platforms too before we broke up and I unfollowed him everywhere. Now that we are back together, we are friends on all social media platforms except Facebook. The social medium that exposed all his acts was this same Facebook. Its not like I am even active on this platform, but his inability to accept my request only goes to show that he is not over his vomit.
ReplyDeleteWhy are you still screaming explanations all over the place? He is shady, a cheat and your intuitions are screaming at you. What are you still doing in that relationship? The underlying trust issues have not been addressed, he is still pulling some underhanded moves through his reliable means of cheating, Facebook. Get out while you can now. You are about marrying the person who will make you question your sanity and make nonsense of your union.
DeleteYour partner plays a major role in ensuring a sense of security in your relationship. See the panic, headache and fear you are already drawing to yourself ontop of man. Sis, you haven't seen husband oh. People telling you to ignore these are content with their fool's Paradise and not ready to confront their trust or possible deal breakers are different. You shouldn't be questioning the level of access you should have to the person you are planning forever with. God forbid!
It’s not easy to move on when all you gave is your instinct
DeleteBut your instinct is telling you all is not well
It is easy to move on, he is a disaster waiting to happen
DeleteIt is easy to move on, he is a disaster waiting to happen
DeleteI would say create a catfish account and send him a request but he might suspect you cos it's a new account. Get a friend of a friend friend who's not your friend on Facebook to send him a friend request. Or you can unfriend one of your friends that he doesn't know about to follow him.
ReplyDeleteThis way, you can see why he doesn't want to accept your friend request.
I think it has more to do with the fact that he's hiding a part of his personality or even all from you and he doesn't want you to find out.
Wahala
ReplyDeleteSee how they will dismiss this ur very valid complaint now. This smells extremely fishy. What is he hiding? If he wasn't active on Facebook, we'd understand but he is and busy accepting others but u.
ReplyDeleteTalk to him frankly and let him explain why he won't accept a Facebook request from u.
Poster instead of calling off engagement have you discussed this with him?
ReplyDeleteWhat was his response.
Even if he doesn't want to be friends with you on Facebook its still not enough reason to call off an engagement.
What you should be considering right now should be His other actions pertaining your relationship, friendship and your future life plans.
I personally don't want my man to be on social media.
And I also feel its somehow he rejected your request without talking about it with you.
Still don't call it off, follow dialogue.
Discuss.
My bf is not on Facebook or Instagram, but he is on tictok and I'm not even following him neither is he following me, but he sends me some funny videos and even romantic and love videos from tictok and we discuss and laugh about it.
Honestly, I wouldn't want to be friends with my partner on any social media platform because it's just too suffocating. We're everywhere around eachother in the real world, I want my privacy.
ReplyDeleteP.s. I'm not cheating or anything but I just don't want you there.
This is so me, I can’t deal. I’m engaged too and my guy like gum body too much. He wants to be involved in every WhatsApp group I’m in, even the ones that’s females only 😂. I feel irritated but I’m learning not to send jare. His Facebook request has been hanging on my page but I’m not interested in accepting it, he’s following me on ig and I’ve refused to follow him back. When I’m in his house, he follows me everywhere, i can’t stay in the room alone, i go to the sitting room give him 2second his there, kitchen nko. Maybe you are pestering him.
DeleteMy ex was like this...
ReplyDeleteHe sent me friends request after months of breaking up with me and I accepted, didn't meaning to it🤔
So he can become a monitoring spirit on your page
DeleteIs this the only reason you want to end things with him or there are other things he's doing that you don't like? Have you discussed how you feel about the friend request ish?
ReplyDeleteFacebook that a lot of us have stopped visiting cos its like a total waste of our time is the reason you want to end things. Think am well o
E mi o, I no see anything wrong with it, hubby and I, 19 years together, we no dey follow each other on any social media platform.
ReplyDeleteInfact, he celebrates other people birthdays, etc and never our children and I.
Our own celebration even when it involves trips doesn't reach media.
We are ok with it.
But if it means something to you, have a discussion with him
So he can celebrate others but not his own? Single married Nigerian indisciplined men
DeleteMadam suspend the engagement, you're still on a fact-finding stage and every avenue to know him well is important. If embassies and Organisation are interested in the social media activities of applicants, why should you not investigate the SM activities of someone you plan to spend your life with? Do not wave this red flag off!
ReplyDeleteVery valid point
Delete10yrs married, I and my husband ain't friends on Facebook...we were best friends 10yrs before marriage...we have each other's passwords...talk to him about it, I won't call off my engagement for this reason ..
ReplyDeleteWhy not create a fake Facebook page and send him a friend request...
ReplyDelete@Poster, you think having you added on facebook is an expression of love? why seeking validation in a wrong place? Listen, the real disrespect is when he adds you on facebook and flirt with other ladies right in your face! You want to call off an engagement because you weren't added on facebook, marriage is just around the corner and you haven't learn how to prioritize what is important? how will you cope in the marriage when serious matters stares you in the face? Can you stop being petty and enjoy your relationship?? Nonsense!
ReplyDeleteReading through her comments on the post, I think I understand her fears. Poster must be a Mel. If he can be friends with her on other platforms, why not Facebook? Is he back to his vomit? Poster, you should stall the wedding process until you are certain he hasn't gone back to his old ways. Be observant and then talk to him about this. Good luck!
DeleteYea,I agree with Billionaire lady,just do that and see what he is hiding from you.............. Josaria
ReplyDeletePoster pls do not call off the engagement.he may have reasons for doing that,most especially trying to keep you away from his friends cos once you are friends with him,all his friends will also be friends with you probably that's what his trying to avoid.
ReplyDeleteThis is too funny🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteLook at it this way, he chose you in the only world that matters, the real one. Apart for 40+ yr olds and businesses, nobody else really uses Facebook, it’s glory days is pretty much over.
FU - Poster, I see where you said he is an unrepentant cheat in the past and was sending women 100 friend requests a day. Please, call it off. You cannot marry someone who you do not trust. If faith as little as a mustard seed can move mountain, then distrust as small as a drop of water can destroy any home. If your feelings are too strong to call it off, then at least pump the brakes and dig deeper to see if he has really stopped cheating. Do not proceed with any marriage plans with an uneasy mind.
DeleteI was marries to someone who fought me when I posted our court wedding pics and tagged him. Because he had a whole child he kept from me and probably a relationship in the country he was based. So sometimes it's usually because they have something to hide, so you should find out his reason for that
ReplyDeleteBeware of the hiders
DeleteBeware of the hiders
DeleteOk
ReplyDeletePLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE...Call Off the Engagement. You aren't ready for marriage.... Not mentally and not in maturity., before you make somebody's son miserable.
ReplyDeleteYou mean a CHEAT ehh. She dash you na
Delete