Hmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SOLUTIONS TO A BROKEN HEART NEEDED
Heartbreak is deadly. Since for the past two weeks I haven't been myself. This is a relationship that is leading to marriage and things were fine.
Heartbreak is deadly. Since for the past two weeks I haven't been myself. This is a relationship that is leading to marriage and things were fine.
He broke up with me. Even blocked me everywhere, I tried to contact him. No closure nothing. I have cried cried cried everyday till now.
My chest is paining me seriously because all day that is the only thing I am thinking about. Everything reminds me of him .
Those that have gone through heartbreak what was your coping mechanism I really need it. There's no joy within me, nothing gives me joy. I am slowly sliding into depression....
*This almost happened to me when I saw Nndee my first bobo with another lady in a kind of way i didnt understand, i asked him and in annoyance, he broke up with me, I was in this same boat you described until one day i saw him having fun without me, without a care and i woke up and began to live my life again, when he saw that i had moved on, he came to beg and said he was testing me, he even cried (story)..... I told him to continue testing me while i enjoy myself, i refused looking back and I am happy with that decision.
He was not yours, start having fun and move on please.... You will meet someone better... go out more and hang out with friends whose shoulder you can cry on....
Thank you Stella
ReplyDeleteCry it out
DeleteBut as hard as it seems, it will be okay.
It feels like you can’t breathe and your heart hurts physically but you’d be okay.
You may think of him from time to time and that’s because you had no closure not because he is the one.
But please grant yourself the closure you need by speaking to your heart daily and letting it know you’d be fine.
As long as you dint hurt him in anyway and your hands are clean he will surely come back… I promise you that, but I need you to heal, make sure you heal so that when he comes back (because he surely will) you don’t take him back
I wish you heavens hug
Push up (original)
Today they treat bad but crawl back in the future to beg for a reconnect. Please try to move on, you deserve someone who loves to communicate with you.
DeleteMove the heck on!
DeleteA broken relationship be better than a broken marriage
Nothing new in being served breakfast, still I know it hurts. After crying it out, like Stella said you gatz pick yourself up and move on. He has already. Poster try to remember that man's rejection is God's protection.
DeleteStay strong dear, God will heal you, I've never been in your shoes so I don't know how you're feeling.
ReplyDeleteTry and be in the midst of friends, go out and enjoy yourself, don't stay or appear unhappy, sad or dull, it won't attract good and right people into your life.
Nobody is in charge of your happiness than you, you're the only one that can make yourself happy. Stay blessed dear
*Larry was here*
Poster. watch movies, listen to music, do plenty activities and don't stay alone for too long, it will pass.
DeleteNote that there is nothing like love, enter your next relationship with shining eyes. Allow him to be doing all the lovey dovey like how wike and obi cubana dey do their wives (side eyers)
I was in this boat years back, I always thought of committing suicide cos he was my first boo. When I finally moved on the idiot came back to tell me that he cutoff with me cos he wasn't ready for marriage and didn't want to tie me down. I'm always grateful to God that I didn't end up with him. He was not even romantic, very stingy, wicked and self-centered but mumu love blind my eyes but now I can see. God has blessed me with a man that is the exact opposite of him. Cry if you wish to, but make-up your mind that you won't go back to him. This guy is living the best of his life and here you are depressed. Write down all his bad sides and tell yourself that you deserve better. The best revenge is to be successful, start investing on yourself.
DeleteListen to everything Stella wrote up there and don't forget to remind yourself always that it wasn't your fault!
ReplyDeleteHow did you know it was not her fault?
DeletePoster, even if it was your fault, try and move on.
Just like that, you have concluded that it wasn't her fault?
DeleteNice one Stella.
ReplyDeletePoster it happened to me in 2018.
I cried, I was bitter, disappointed, and tired.
But no matter what you are stronger than you think you are.
It's time to face God and trust him for your marital settlement.
Don't lock yourself indoors and don't continue crying o.
Seek happiness by all means.( no go dey do rebound sex relationships o,it might end in premium tears.
Hang out with your good friends, just take things easy you will be fine. Pamper yourself your body, it brings healing too. You will begin to see things differently soon.
Life happens but we move.
Heartbreak from a relationship is not what I can wish on my worst enemy oh.
ReplyDeleteSo, you were engaged and on the path to marriage and he just broke up with you and blocked you without any explanation? Are you sure you even knew this person? Stella has given sound advice. Also, examine yourself to the core and find out if you are mourning the person or mourning the chance at getting married. If you dig deep you may discover that you were never as deeply connected to them as you thought.
ReplyDeleteCry your tears for today, but tomorrow wake up with the resolve to go on and live your life to the fullest. You have life and that means you have options.
Gbam! 🙌🏾
DeleteIt takes time. But it will pass. I’ve been in your shoes, I actually felt my heart tear. Honestly, I prayed to die cos the pain was unimaginable.
ReplyDeleteI didn’t die, I didn’t end up depressed, my life didn’t stop.
Always tell your self in your lowest moments that this too shall pass. Believe me it will.
You may never stop thinking of him, but at a point those thoughts won’t hurt you at all.
You will look back and sigh or laugh or be pensive.
Don’t forget that what he has done by shutting you out without a basic conversation is what someone who is heartless will do.
Don’t bank on the fact that God will judge him. Don’t bank on the fact that he will be sorry. Don’t bank on the fact that he will want you back.
Just mourn the loss, ask the Holy Spirit to comfort you.
Most importantly, give it time.
Stop. Don't judge. You tips on coping and moving on were enough
DeleteOn the contrary, her advice is actually quite wholesome. Heartbreaks hurt, especially if you were all in. 2 weeks to marriage? she's defo gon hurt. don't sugarcoat that truth for her healing. she will first hurt and then she will heal.
DeleteHow did she judge her...may sense fall on you!
DeleteStay strong dear,heart break is painful but with time,it will pass.🤗🤗
ReplyDeleteIt's not easy to move on but you owe it to yourself. He is watching you one way or the other, yes. The effects of the break up and your reaction keeps him moving.
ReplyDeleteThe moment you start enjoying yourself and he sees it, like Stella said, he won't be that confident in his decision.
Your life is too precious to be ruined by him.
Good luck.
When you give your all and stop living your life, train yourself to believe life without him is worthless, you end up where you are today. No man/woman is worth it. You created the problem you are today, only you can help yourself. He has since moved on with his life. Stop dwelling in the past and take good care of yourself. People die everyday, you are alive, make the best use of it
ReplyDeleteGbam Gbam gbamest. I don’t know how some women are like this. Parents should train and nurture the girl child properly and instill self esteem because it helps a lottt. Assuming my parents nurtured this part of me growing, some shitty mistakes I’ve made could have been avoided but all in all, I thank God for the experience. My mistakes won’t go in vain because I’ll so teach my kids how to love themselves first. Bible says, love neighbor as yourself not more than yourself. Next time no dey love anyhow please because we’re more emotional and sensitive based on our genetic make up. Not saying you shouldn’t love o. But love with sense with self respect intact! Husbands love your wives, no be wives love your husbands. We are to respect them as the head of the home and the love will be reciprocated. Like the Bible don already know how we be.
DeleteHad my share of heartbreak in my early 20s. It's wasn't easy to deal it, I'm not even gonna lie. Everyone and every Google search I made said to give it time...And this is the last thing a heartbroken person wants to hear.
ReplyDeleteThings I did to get over it:
1. There isn't a getting over it, you decide to move on, I watched one program one day which advised not to fight it but embrace the roles I played, accept what happened, don't try to change it, learn from it, promise yourself not to repeat your mistakes and make better decisions to protect yourself going forward.
2. While I don't support what your ex did but I have come to realize we are different, so I don't expect Closure from no one, heartbreak stems from expectations and putting too much faith in the hands of someone else. Learn to have more faith in yourself.
3. Forgiveness is for yourself, try not to carry grudges or a heavy heart around.
4. Lastly, you can cry it out, it will make you feel better, don't forget to move on.
Best of luck
The thing call Heartbreak. I'm really so sorry, nothing anyone will say, will make sense. Especially, if you're the type that loves deeply. I only pray for God to give me peace and the courage to move on. It works for me tho. It won't be immediately, but faster. So sorry okay.
ReplyDeleteLoves deeply aka emotionally needy and co dependent. That’s what it is.
DeleteThat pain is more painful than physical pain but the truth is that you'll be fine. All you need is time. Take everyday as it comes, a step at a time till you heal completely
ReplyDeleteYou will look back to this day and thank God that it didn't work out . You will be fine. I assure you . I've been there once so I know. You will be fine dear. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThat's only if she wasn't the one at fault. Truth is, that sometimes, we take certain people for granted, and push them to the wall till they can't take it anymore and decide to leave.
DeleteIf she feels guilty, she should try and make amends.
However, if he is the one who messed things up, she should forget him and move on. Someone better will definitely come.
Crying is allowed but letting it get to you is not allowed, please you need to move on cos that is not the end of life. I know is not easy but let do not let that guy rejoice for making you.
ReplyDeleteSet your mind on things that bring you joy. refuse to be idle. hang out with good friends.
ReplyDeletestudy the word of God daily, this will help you spiritually.
Be ready to love again cos the right man will surely find you again.
Sister, please try and move on, he will surely come back when he sees that you're happy without him, but please don't ever, i repeat don't ever take him back.
ReplyDeleteWhy shouldn't she take him back if they reconcile?
DeleteIam so sorry,it happened to me in 2010,few weeks to my wedding but I thank God it never happened,you don't know what God is saving you from,it hurtful,but you will get over it,try watching movies or learn a new trade to keep your mind busy and avoid music that will make you cry, it's okay to cry once in a while when your mind goes to him, but God will see you through,He will bring the right man for you soon,it is well
ReplyDeletePoster find a lonely place and CRY. You know this cry that no one is around to console you or people around will rush in to ask if someone died. Yes someone died. That guy is dead in your life so mourn him by CRYING. Release every emotion through tears. After that tell yourself that you matter. You deserve better. Think about all the negative things he has done to you. Hold onto those negative things firmly and hate him.
ReplyDeleteYou will be fine. You will look back and thank God for this rejection.
Hmmmmmm heart break. Over time you will forget it. Cry if you have to but
ReplyDeletePoster heart break no dey kill person! Put on your big girl shoes and bounce ! Useless men everywhere who breaks up with someone without explanation??? My dear go out have FUN we have only one life to LIVE!!! YOU should consider yourself FIRST before any idiot will rubbish you. With time you will be alright if that man comes begging please serve him HOT BREAKFAST!! YOU CAN'T CONTROL HOW PEOPLE TREAT YOU BUT YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR FEELINGS TOWARDS PEOPLE!
ReplyDeleteCry ooo, cry well well until u feel relieved. You will not get over him at once, it's a gradual process. But that grieving will make u hesitate running back to him when he comes back...they always do, to see if u are available for short runs.
ReplyDeleteJust don't grief for too long...true love awaits u.
You still get heart wey Dem dey break? My dear, you were not informed.
ReplyDelete@DogA is like the don break your heart into pieces
DeleteMy dear... it’s painful... cry if you have to... some else will find you/ you’ll find someone else... I know you’re scared and sad but it can only get better... God has great plans for you.
ReplyDeleteLast year my 5 year old relationship started dwindling... if I don’t call, he won’t.... I found out I was doing the most so I took a break... after a month he called, so so wahala, so so fight... I believed a lot of things he told me; no one will ever love me etc....R/ship packed up in December lol
Not too long ago, I met someone that adores the floor I walk on, buys me stuff, sends me flowers etc... then I realized I was in bondage before...
God sees you... it can only get better.
Poster it will be alright. There is nothing time doesn’t heal. Just cry when u feel like and try to love urself. One day u will wake up and realize u haven’t thought of him for a long time. Good luck
ReplyDeleteHeartbreak isn't good at all. It can destroy a needy person who loves hard especially when the reason for it is so unreasonable sort of.
ReplyDeleteIt happened to me in marriage without kids. I did what Zaram wrote. I cried n cried, went for shopping spree for things I needed and things I've not used till date. I started eating anyhow. I begged him not to "stain my white". But he ghosted me. Reason was because I had money more than him. This I knew before marriage and I was suppose to sponsor our trip outside the country and he accepted. I never rubbed it on him. ..the money was inheritance from late father. I'm not a materialistic person. I just wanted the best for us. I still love him and can't remarry because I believe in once married is forever married till death do you part according to the will of God.If he remarries
the adultery is on him. Thank God you have not married him. Get closer to God and ask God Almighty for His will in your life.
let’s talk
DeleteRemarry if you want
Our God is not evil
People love hard aka emotionally needy people! I’m learning a lot myself and this is something I’ve realized o. It’s ok to have feelings but that shit shouldn’t control you to the extent of becoming so so dependent and needy on that person! Read more on co dependency in a relationship.
Delete21:28, she’s actually right. It’s adultery as long as the other person is still alive, she can’t remarry. I’m going through hell in my marriage now and I know I can’t remarry as long as he’s alive. I want to leave but staying because of the kids. It sucks but shd we now say because of earthly marriage, we should forget about after life? Or eternity. It’s tough mannn. Anon 18:49, how have you been coping sexually? I now dey dream big d**k self because I’m so horny and sexually frustrated. That’s the hard part for me. Only difference between me and you is, I have 2 kids with him. This road to heaven is not easy oo but with Gods help my family and I will make it. Amen.
DeletePlease wipe your tears because you dodged a bullet. Most of the times we don't know what God is preparing for us. It happened to me and now I see reasons why my ex BF left is for me to be blessed with the best. Please cheer up. You will be fine
ReplyDeleteCry as much as you can, then get up, dust yourself and try to do those things that makes you happy.
ReplyDeleteGive it time and gradually, you will feel better.
Remember that if you don't love yourself, nobody will.
🤗🤗🤗
... And this too shall pass.
ReplyDeleteDon't hold back the tears, allow it after everything you will feel good.
Invest more in yourself now like never before. All the best!
Poster!
ReplyDeleteIf I B can move on from a broken heart, then everybody is capable of.
Ahh! My goodness. I almost ran mad when my boyfriend of 4 years left me. He ghosted me. Lol
Like ghosted me
How do u ghost a person you've spent four years together with?
How ? How?
Where is the love?
Omo! I became depressed,I wanted God to just take my life, because life had no meaning then.
I saw a doctor and I was given antidepressants to help me with sleeping plus I have a heart condition so with the heart break, I almost lost my life.
I was practically living for this man. Lol.
But look at me now? One year later and I'm better, healthy and full of life.
Dear Poster! The first step to healing is loving yourself. Love your self and every other thing will follow.
Give it time and I promise you'll be fine.
Love and light
But why the hell do you women live for human beings like this for Gods sake. I cringed reading your comment. Imagine focusing this much on your creator, do you know how far you would have gone in your spiritual life and actually not give a man this type of power. I’m also speaking for myself because I’ve been heartbroken in the past but not this bad damnnn. Not even close man. I get my pride and dignity and self esteem even if it’s not at the highest. Una no get life or what?? Na wa ooo.
DeleteThis is currently me in my marriage. No love, I’ve cried and cried. What I’ve been doing now is slowly detaching myself and not engaging much with him and only focus on our kids. I need to get my mental sanity back because I’ve never seen this kind of see finish in my life all because I want his love and affection. No oo e don do. Poster be thankful you didn’t end up with this type of guy because you’ll become a shadow of yourself. We women need to be strong like these men. They’re so damn quick to move on with no emotions and I always wonder why. If they can move on so quickly like that, then you damn believe you can also move on. Only difference is, you fell too much yakata. He was like your drug, he gave you that euphoric feeling and you con forget to care of your own needs and emotions. Learn from this experience poster. Real men back their words with action. You will come out of it don’t worry. As for me, I’m actually much better. Felt I was won’t be able to after 7 years of marriage. Now I see why some women don’t bother remarrying. It’s just too much of a stress dealing with some of these men especially our naija men. Na mouth they get and will hardly show you actions to back it up. So if you end up falling with just words, it’s not enough and hence the break up because it’s not who they are and can’t keep up. Their mentality is jacked up and a lot are badly raised. So ladies raise your sons well please and not only focus on daughters because we end up with these shitty over grown babies and fragile egos called men. Cry it out and grief through the heart break because that’s part of your healing process. Pray pray and pray for Gods healing and read positive affirmations/self esteem on YouTube. Workout and sweet it out. You’ll need lots of sleep as well. It’s time to focus on you and just you. Don’t try to reach out to him please because he’ll never ever respect you and you won’t heal on time! All will be well.
ReplyDeleteIf he calls you back, (most times they do but it might not be now), if he doesn’t call back, it’s absolutely fine as well. It’ll just take you a bit longer time to heal that’s all. I actually want you to pick up and listen to him if he calls back. Only pick up if you know you won’t fall back into his trap sha o. Listen to him talk and when he’s done talking, lash him out with you own piece of mind(in a stern and firm way. Yell at him self if you have to). For you, that will be your final closure. And I take God beg you, don’t end back together with this guy oo. If you end up with him, the emotional damage you’ll endure in the marriage ehn, you will hate yourself and regret for the rest of your life when you know you could have ended up with a much better man it’s better flaws so to speak (we all have flaws). This is now the opportunity for you to work fully on yourself and know what you really want and the bullshit you won’t take from a man who shits, drink and eat just like you. Human being just like you o not Jesus or angel. Only difference is he get 🍆, you get 🍑, still human sexual organs. and he moved on just like that ehn. That says a lot about him. It says a lot about his character and how he’ll treat you in marriage because see finish will enter. He is not the one. It’ll take you time to process it but give it time and it’ll make sense soon. Keep reading our comments ok, to get you out of this situation. Healing and blessings on your heart and soul. ❤️
ReplyDeleteWish I could hug all the broken hearted ladies both OP and from the comment section. Life is tough, but I've come to realize that you only find purpose in God and only he can love us perfectly. I pray we learn to love God more and put him first as he commanded us so that he will direct our steps and bear our burdens. As Jesus said, Come to me all ye who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest🙏🏾
ReplyDeleteWhen the heartbreak passes, you must go and do thanksgiving! Never let anyone take the place of God in your life. A man that can ghost you is first unreliable and second, you can’t build with that nonsense. One day, you’ll come back to this post and laugh.
ReplyDeleteDo you know why? He will come back, when he gets knocked hard, he’ll want to look for soft landing or where he had it good.
Kick that dog to the curb and enjoy your life with someone that values you more.
Bathe, dress well, call that guy that has been on your matter for eons, go on a flirty date with him. Don't sleep with him though.
ReplyDeletePost it on your WhatsApp status.
Lol this one is still in love with the guy and if he calls , she will run back to him ! Nothing you people are saying here will convince her otherwise.
ReplyDeleteSome girls can’t see themselves single and love mumuishly
Well we won’t be the one to go through another heartbreak. She will bear her cross and bear it well. We don advise her so it’s up to her.
DeletePoster disappointments are blessings in disguise same as heartbreaks I've had several heartbreaks and looking back now I can only thank God for removing the burden I'll have beared if I actually ended up with any of those guys. You might not see it like this now but in few months time the picture will be clear to you. Cry all you want now, beat yourself around but make sure you pick yourself up and move on with your life. Definitely he'll come back they mostly do just give him enough time to get your closure,hear him out and that's it! don't allow him to creep back into your heart you go regret am oo. I'm saying all this out of experience I had exactly this type of heartbreak blocked out all of a sudden it was actually the most painful cos you keep asking yourself what you did with no answer. Be strong and realize that you deserve better that's how you get over it.
ReplyDelete