Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

 Hmmm.....

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

A STORY TO LEARN FROM..

Let me tell you about my Ex. we have known each other for 4years and finished marriage class. He loved me mad and was at my beck and call but I really cared for him but was not in love as it ought to be. I was more financially put together and throughout our course of situationship i was 99.9% footing the bills because i chose to. I also felt he was doing all this (extra love, attention, care etc) because i was generous, had financial upper hand and never had time for relationship but Work!!!. 

When i ask him why he loves me, He says i am too generous and got a good heart. whatever he wants he indirectly says it, i code and give him and i do not regret it. I left work 2019 because i was so stressed, falling sick too frequently as a result of stress and needed a break, moreover i had saved so much to continue my lifestyle for the next 6years without managing but i invested my money in those scam investment channels after being convinced by a respected friend and it got blown off. 

Before this i was preparing for a Professional exam and moved to stay with a friend at Ajah, he comes 3-4 times a week from Ago to come see me.

This guy earns 350K monthly, his only brother stays with him, pays rent of 500K per annum but 3 years i have been loaning him money for rent. when he was pushing for marriage, i decided to see his bank statement to understand how he spends his money and we plan how to manage our income best, he never gave me access. i was curious as to where his money goes as he doesn't drink, smoke, no social life but he runs short of money. 

During the end of our marriage class, we were openly informed that our husband will change, i told them never will he change. When we left church and driving I asked him, if he will change and he said he will change that was i not expecting him to!!! 

I couldn't believe what he said, i didn't even bother to drop him home, told him to find his way home. Sincerely deep down, I always felt I did not know the real him, you know this perfect guy everyone sees and knows ,hes perfect so if there’s a problem everyone will blame you. He has NEVER EVER gotten angry nor raised his voice at any time- No cappin.

He started acting up as I never showed signs of marriage things, I have never introduced him to my family as my Man and he wanted to seal the marriage as quickly as possible, so I asked him what’s the budget he has and he said his mum has promised to borrow him 500K and his mum’s sister committed to sponsor his wedding some 7/8 years ago. I thought he was joking but girl he wasn’t. 

I told him, he will never borrow to marry me nor will I sponsor my own marriage. He knows I do not want a public wedding. My ideal wedding is; go to church, pack gift and food to handover to family members after the church blessing and vow which will happen on a Wednesday during Morning Mass. The traditional done in my father’s house and we settle Elders in the village – Nothing more, nothing less.

I completely warned him to not bring up marriage until he has his own money. I set out to start job hunt for him, re-did his CV, started preparing for interviews finally he landed one, help him negotiate better pay and he was to resume in April 2022.

During this period, A mutual friend I knew through him came into Nigeria and needed a short stay and I obliged for her to stay with him and his brother who has never worked. But he said His mum will make a big issue out of it. I told him she will be fine if she knows I agreed to it.

This friend started staying with him and running all the feeding cost for all (3 person) in the house. She helped get the brother a job with ***** bank when his training date was near this boy became someone else, did unprintable things so he doesn’t work which the brother ,my Ex queried him for. Immediately he called his mum to report that a lady was living in the house. His mum threatening Fire and brimstone to come from Delta to Lagos to kick the lady out and embarrass her, she insulted this friend and mocked her. (Now this is a friend he vouched can and will always be there for him even give him an eye if need be) I got to know her better and can truly confirm she’s a true friend closer than Blood.

Unfortunately, he developed Diabetes during this whole saga with his family, his Blood sugar reading over 500. When he called and informed me from the hospital, I was devasted and scared because my Dad just passed away a year back from Diabetes complication. He was scared but we weathered the storm as I am conversant with Diabetes meals etc. In 11 days he blood sugar crashed to 87.

Doctors and specialist asked how he did it without drugs, I made his meals Breakfast, lunch and Dinner. I had serious issues with my Brother inlaw for this because I stay with him and barely cooked but now cooking 3 times a day, different delicacies for only one person with his Gas, kitchen utensils.

I honestly knew I was his strength then, you could see from his eyes, the fear and hopelessness. This lady was running around with him from one diagnostic center to another while I went to market and made his meals as he fed Mostly vegs in swallow form, etc I was extremely careful so his meal isn’t contaminated to avoid purging as he clearly eliminated every carbs, sugar etc Luckily since then till October ending his blood sugar never got to over 100 highest I knew was 97

One fine Sunday morning, she called in distress, i rushed to his house with bike. His mum got her number and said things any mother should never utter. Ahhh!!!

I found my Ex on phone with tears flowing and only uttering Maa!!! I collected the phone, heard his mom wishing him dead, disown him to say at least, I informed her of his medical situation but she didn’t care at that time as she was too angry.

 I switched off his phones and we drove out to get his mind off the toxic situation. I encourage the friend as I’m confident he won’t send her out. Got into the car (he has a company vehicle) Ex and I, he said, Babe I agree with my mum; a single guy and single girl should not be living in the same house. WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY? 

I lost it and asked him who the hell are the people. This guy told me let ask people for their opinion. What??? I told him to take me back to his house and I asked this lady to please pack out in a week’s time, she was shocked at the sudden change of mind in less than 30mins of we just stepping out.

She broke down and told me, she’s having medical complication and haven’t done the surgery and she has shortage of blood. 2 times in a week someone comes from Cameroun to donate blood for her as her Blood group is rare.

A church friend scammed her of two number digit thousand dollar and she doesn’t even have 10K with her and my Ex is the only one aware of everything she’s going through as her best friend and confidant. I looked at him and asked him, if his aware of all these and more I can’t write, he affirmed in the positive. 

My heart sank, This lady 2 years ago, was renting a house of over 2million and doing well.

I immediately called my Mum and asked her to give me the financial support for my Relocation plan (Unknown to anyone except me and Ex. I will get and bear all the financial burden of our relocation) I hoped to get it within my immediate family as Mum sent 4 million, I called everyone I know for Agents number (house hunting in Lagos is officially the most stressful process anyone can ever encounter) Lord have mercy. Once arrangement was in motion, I switched on his phone, immediately his mum called, I picked and told her to give me the grace of one week for her to move out and she said by Sunday 7pm if she does not get confirmation that she has left her son’s house, on Monday we will see her and it will be bloody. 

The shocking statement she made was our friend was already dying, she will speed it up. How come she knew this lady’s unfortunate woes yet adamant for her to leave. I quietly excused myself and Ex. And told him Never will I marry him as hes from a heartless and toxic family, he is controlled by his Mum. He didn’t say anything.

I trekked home, recollecting every little thing I overlooked or ignored. She finally moved out on Sunday and guess who frequents her house? you guessed right lol. To round up!!! I kept cooking for him but later stopped when he started treating me with subtle disrespect. Informed me he can’t come upstairs to pick his meal that I should be bringing it down stairs huh! I saw all the writing he wanted space and I gave him. 

He started the new job but didn’t inform me, No calls or text until he needed my car as he was yet to be given a car. I still gave him as it was just parked at home did all the necessary servicing for an efficient after he returned my car, he did not speak to me again until almost five months when he heard I have gotten a job again through that female friend.

 We started going to church together, bought me meal twice to office but it was very evident to me that his intentions were only strategic. I completely gave us boundary o. I fell ill two weeks after resumption of work, Doctor requested I suspend driving as a result of the terrible traffic along Cele- Ago palace. he offered to take me and bring me to work since we work in the same location both different area and live close by. 

During the 2 weeks, the Friday, I opened up to him about my salary that I was earning around 460K which was lower than what I was earning before but I needed a job to get my life back. This guy on Monday morning sent me a text he is going to a Refinery and never ever picked my call, read text or messages I sent. I saw him on traffic at Oshodi on our way to work and I deleted his contact details completely.

 I felt he knows, He is now earning more than me – I might be wrong but I wish him all the best in Life. Our mutual friend is in Germany and handles us separately perfectly well. I do not discuss about him and hope they don’t too but either way all the best.

Was I hurt, Yes because I missed the only friend I ever had for 4years plus, I try to avoid him, But I can tell you when he ever hears I got a new and better job, he will come running… I have accepted him for who he is, I could be wrong but I will not blame anyone or seek out pity party....

*This was posted in a chronicle at different times and the whole story raises my eyebrow but I think what i learnt from this is not to let anyone use me at all..