Hmmm....
CONFUSED
Good day Stella and BVs, hope we’re all doing fine.
I’m just going to go straight to the point. So I’m currently a fresh graduate waiting for NYSC. You see, I grew up in this small town with my parents, schooled here as gaining admission down east did not go through, I have dreamt for years how eventually NYSC would be my ticket out of here and away from the hold of my parents and familiar faces (weird right? I just can’t properly explain for you guys to understand).
A few days back, my dad came up with a business plan of wanting to turn one of his shops to a business Centre and automatically I would have to run the place as no one else is available to do so.
Good day Stella and BVs, hope we’re all doing fine.
I’m just going to go straight to the point. So I’m currently a fresh graduate waiting for NYSC. You see, I grew up in this small town with my parents, schooled here as gaining admission down east did not go through, I have dreamt for years how eventually NYSC would be my ticket out of here and away from the hold of my parents and familiar faces (weird right? I just can’t properly explain for you guys to understand).
A few days back, my dad came up with a business plan of wanting to turn one of his shops to a business Centre and automatically I would have to run the place as no one else is available to do so.
He has gotten his fair share of disappointments in business so hiring an outsider is not an option for him. He has asked me to think about it. I’m seriously confused.
If I accept this, it means redeploying after camp as I honestly don’t see the reason to just go waste(and spend for) a whole year in a new place only to come back again. I mean better to just stay back and save right?
But what then happens to my desire of leaving this place? What if something else awaits me? I studied microbiology and let me be honest, it’s almost as if it’s a useless course(eka joy get in here lol), the hospitals, companies, industry where they lie to you that you can work in rejects graduates of the particular course (deep sigh).
But what then happens to my desire of leaving this place? What if something else awaits me? I studied microbiology and let me be honest, it’s almost as if it’s a useless course(eka joy get in here lol), the hospitals, companies, industry where they lie to you that you can work in rejects graduates of the particular course (deep sigh).
I’m also not oblivious about how tough it is in our country these days as I have seen corpers go out there and try their best but still come back home after everything or still end up starting a business las las.
Then on a not so serious note, my parents are a lil bit controlling!!. Can’t go out once it’s 5:30 how do I date bikonu?? Not even about getting a husband or whatever but I really craved this freedom service year was going to offer but then are all the dates in the world worth an uncertain future?
I have one or two contacts that can “work” the service to any state of choice but after service is not guaranteed na! Please help a confused daughter and sister.
Then on a not so serious note, my parents are a lil bit controlling!!. Can’t go out once it’s 5:30 how do I date bikonu?? Not even about getting a husband or whatever but I really craved this freedom service year was going to offer but then are all the dates in the world worth an uncertain future?
I have one or two contacts that can “work” the service to any state of choice but after service is not guaranteed na! Please help a confused daughter and sister.
You may end up not getting a Job and being very broke.....
Why dont you start with your DAD; SAVE UP SOME MONEY AND THEN DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?.... you might have a new mindset when you start earning money....
My Dad was a tough man and brought us up Military style, but when i had kids, even though he was so hard i understood, dont blame your parents as they are being protective of you....
starting off with your DAD Will enable you save money and plan well...NYSC no be am at all at all....
While I understand your reason and hunger for a lil freedom, I will also advise you to stay home and build the business. My dear, the world is getting more dangerous especially for single women. Who knows, this might sharpen your business skills which will come in handy later. Better to stay under a controlling parent than be wasted on these dirty streets. Nothing dey these streets.
ReplyDeleteasides you seeking freedom, NYSC is a complete waste of time, that school that is close to home, if I may, I would advice you to apply for masters say in public health or sth related to your field and still run your father's business by the side.
DeleteNothing dey outside after 5:30 pm o😄 relax, save up, then move later. That freedom you crave, you will get it and you'd be tired...trust me.
ReplyDeleteWith the security crisis in the country, the growing hunger and starvation, the kidnappings and banditry, you still want to go and explore?
DeleteSis, abeg stay in your father's house and do your NYSC abeg
Please listen to your dad..
ReplyDeleteHey Sis, please carry your bag and be going osiso, what do you mean he wants to start business with you running it. You need to go out there and explore, get exposed, meet people, get versatile all in a good way. Your destiny is in your hands.
ReplyDeleteYour dad will be ok, you will be ok, everybody go dey 👌
That's what I think too, poster if you decide to marry say next year and your husband stays far away from your hometown, won't your dad find a way around his business without your actual presence? He will.
DeleteIt's your choice to make, weigh the pros and cons.
Nysc year can be a landmine of opportunities, self discovery and networking depending on how you see it, I feel like you should test the waters and see how it goes this one year.
I keep saying I would have been a local champion had I not stepped out of my comfort zone to go school in another town entirely back in 2008. I do not regret making that choice to delve into the unknown.
You are an adult, you should be given some space. Are you the only child they have?
ReplyDeletePlease do not accept to redeploy back to your parents base when you leave camp. Go out there, explore. Meet new people.
There are opportunities out there and if you are smart enough, you could just make it out there.
Don’t sell yourself short please. If eventually you do not get a job after NYSC, you can either go back home or stay back there and sort yourself out.
Gather all the experiences you can, it will help in shaping you for the future.
Sluttychic.
Na so e be, okwu go kwu ọtọ ka iroko tree
DeleteYou have said it all.
Deletethe world she wants to explore so, she will explore it, but not with NYSC, they may post you to one Bush, the next thing you re teaching sec school students in a village where there is no light or running water, the meager salary will not allow you enjoy life sef.
DeleteAnon 17:00, but what you described in itself is still part of experiencing life in my opinion, it doesn't always have to be soft life.
DeleteIgnore your father and go explore life. You dad deliberately wants to hold you back. Your father's business will not fail in your absence. You grew up , went to school in the same location. This is not about freedom, you need to experience life, meet people. At the end of your service year you could decide to go back home
ReplyDeleteDo as your dad says,if you don't like it then let him know but you have to give the business your all and try to make some money . Nigeria is flogging people now, you can see celebs and the rest are complaining.When you are financially buoyant then you can move . Good luck.
ReplyDeleteExplore explore, be careful of those men that will promise and make you a baby mama, careful of ritual guys through parties, even those that can drug and rape..
DeleteThe world is evil.
If you follow your dads plan you’ll miss the time when your mates are hustling for work. By the time you come back in, your resume will be seen as stale
DeleteBetter to try for work and if tug fail, fall back on your dad
Parents are safety nets.
To you Mao Akuh, exploring is all about men? Lmao.
DeleteDon’t people get pregnant right under their parents nose?
I’m sure she was well bred and knows her boundaries.
There are people who have made it without the help of a single man.
Sluttychic.
You can redeploy and start with your dad and watch how the biz grows.
ReplyDeleteWith God all things are possible.
Go the NYSC
ReplyDeleteYour dad just realized he can do business center or this is a new form of control? We don’t know
Go out there. If your dad is your dad, then this gig will be available for you in six months if he means well and is not just saying stay here or I won’t help you
You may get a job and be free. You’re too young not to try and you still have your father to fall back on
My dear poster, it’s a tough decision but if you decide to stay back and help run the business please and please make sure you’re getting paid! That way you can save up for the future.
ReplyDeleteIt is also good to explore outside your town or village and I’m leaning towards that. The experience you get from NYSC and other places will be useful.
Commit all to God.
Go for service and look for a job b4 concluding you might not get a job.
ReplyDeleteNo go spoil sha o.
Papa doesn’t want his baby girl to leave home 😍 but leave in a sensible manner pls. Wish I had a dad that wants to use style style to keep me for house 💔
ReplyDeleteThis may be your only opportunity to experience life outside of that town. Because what if you end up marrying someone living there and you raise your own family there too?
ReplyDeleteI think you should explore a little ( with caution o), then if you choose you can still return after NYSC.
Best wishes.
Well, you are in a perfect position to do your first business negotiation. Tell your dad you will accept his offer but you have some terms of your own to be met. Let him know you are an adult now and you will be bound in his house forever a husbandless, childless spinster if you must return home by 5:30pm, request a midnight in the home return the latest, cinderella style. Tell him if you are going to be a business woman he needs to treat you like an adult and equal. Whatever other needs you have build them into the business negotiation. Tell him if he can meet your expectations and stick with them you will give him a few hobest years in the business.
ReplyDeleteI like this. I would add that you try to get a full time job too. Test yourself and hustle job applications like your mates. Dont NOT give yourself an option. An option will goce you confidence and leg for negotiating pay and other benefits with your dad (if you decide to work with him)
DeleteYes, 16:35 and she should also negotiate a pay for herself. Make it real business. I actually like family legacies. If the father is a good businessman then them doing a family thing is always good.
DeleteI only hope no gender issues crop up down the road, let him put something in place so if God forbid he should pass uncles and borthers do not swoop in to claim it all. Poster please also mention the gender peotection angle for you and your mom if anything happens to your father, that the business will not go to some random male relative if you put all your labour into it. Tell him you want a stake in it too. Don't worry or back down if he gets annoyed, bring your receipts and show that you are not a child, you deserve to be treated like an adult.
Poster going out there might work out fine, its 50:50
ReplyDeleteWork no dey naija, but some people still dey get am.
Also your father wanting to set up a business for you is a huge privilege a lot of people are looking for. It's also a good move.
I understand how you want to be free as an adult.
I will advise you go out there and experience how it is like outside for atleast one year, you never can tell what awaits you .
Try it out this service year if you find a good job few months after service then remain.
If not quickly run back home and ginger your dad to open that business.
For now tell your parents you just need a change of environment to experience other towns/cities, I bet they will understand. If not sabotage any of their plans to keep you in your town for NYSC, but if you are cool with it then carry on.
It's not bad either.
Exactly, poster let this 1 year be one of testing waters (in a good way please).
DeleteYou want freedom so you can be fucking up and down ABI? Nne anywhere you can earn money And save with little or no expenses is what you need.
ReplyDeleteLeave your immediate environment, since you have someone that can influence your posting go to a state that is safe and not far from home, if things turn out well for you then good luck if otherwise you can return back to your parents and manage the business.
ReplyDeletePlease poster don’t be in a haste to explore life dear, pray and ask God for direction.
You seem like you have a good head in your shoulders.
ReplyDeleteYour twenties is the time to explore, to gain and acquire new skills, live independently, make decisions and learn from your experiences and mistakes.
I would not like to grow old having lived all my life in one place with no new and exciting opportunities. Let your parents trust the trainings and morals that they have instilled in you, and also trust you to make wise and right decisions for your own future, not theirs.
Do it for you. If you travel for NYSC and your plans do not work out and you have to return home, you will still have the satisfaction of knowing that you tried and you were bold and courageous enough to go out there. And you will at the end of the day be stronger, wiser, and have a different outlook on life than you do now, as you are in a way, still sheltered.
Whatever you do now, whatever choice you make, keep your future self in mind.
Poster please go out there,you can't stay with them forever.I am also serving,I refused relocating even though I have a child which would have made it more easy,my mum is taking good care of my son,when am settled I can go get him and I must say I don't regret making that decision,I have grown to an extent and still growing,But in all this pray about it,let God lead you..all the best dear
ReplyDeleteYou grew up and schooled in the same location, I think you should go else where for NYSC. You need to experience life in another place, meet people, learn new things. There are so many opportunities you can grab during your service year. It is just one year and before you know it, it'll be over and you can go back to manage your dad's business. Tell him to put someone in charge and after your service year, you will come back to take over. There is somebody or people you will definitely learn from during service year and there are people that will learn from you too. If you manage well, you won't necessarily spend all your allowance and come home broke.
ReplyDeleteTalking about freedom, like I said above if you want freedom because you need to go out there and learn more about life and explore opportunities, that's great but if you want freedom because you want to explore the streets I'm sorry there's nothing out there to explore in that regard during NYSC. You may end up with married men, fellow corpers or random people to catch fun that will not lead anywhere.
Above all, there is the place of the will of God. Since you are still waiting for service, why not take it to God in genuine prayer. Ask for his will in the matter and if you're sincere, you will definitely get answers one way or the other. It could be his will for you to go outside of your state of residence or remain there. Ask him for clarity.
Good luck
Take it from someone who made the same errors you're about to make. Focus on yourself, be selfish for you. They'll always be something holding you back. God knows I love my parents more than anything but right now I wish I had served outside my home base honestly. It's your time to explore the world, please don't lose this opportunity
ReplyDeleteAlso take it from someone who made the same errors youre about to make. Stay at home. Nothing to explore out there . I had a business opportunity in my state but i chose to do Nysc elsewhere, because I wanted freedom.
DeleteThere are no jobs out there for experienced hires, talk less of NYSC intakes. I ended up losing my opportunity because of youthful exuberance.
Don't make the same mistake i did . There is really nothing out there to explore. Nigeria isn't even safe to do any explanation sef
My dear, my sincere advice to you is to tell your Dad to hold on on the biz opening for you until you are back from NYSC (Since his sole aim of opening is if you will handle it) except there is another capable hand to hold it and run it without you.
ReplyDeleteThat way you can run it till going for NYSC and handover.
Also, do not redeploy . Wherever they post you, serve with all your heart and trust me, it will be worth it. You will cherish the memory for ever.
Remember it is supposed to be a service year. Year to render your selfless service to which ever community you are posted to. Your faithfulness in it too will determine how much God will trust you with bigger things (not in all cases though).
That being said, you are going to be paid 50k per month. Girl, in this our present naija that's alot of money. Kikikiki. So be prudent with cash and save up. (It's easy to save as a corper cos you get lots of favors especially if you are posted to villages.)after service year you can decide whether to go back home or stay back start a little biz while you await your dream job.
About the job thing, you need to have a transformed mind. All these Shell, Chevron, banks, and many international ND multinational companies that employ daily is it ghost that they are employing? Or do you think everyone that got jobs was by connection? If you think there are no jobs and your course of study can't get you one, trust me. You will not get.
Change your mindset and start seeing beyond where you are to what you will be and want to be. And know that nothing is impossible.
For instance me, I have left the cooperate world for many years now and I want to return to it. All what I hear people saying is my time has passed, age is no more applicable, there are no jobs, I don't have connect, etc. My darling to all of these concerned people I tell them one thing. "All these dosen't matter. I know one day, I will not just land a job, but my dream job". Do I believe it? Absolutely. Will I get it? As surely as the earth remaineth and I live, I will. I will never accept my time has passed.
So, how much less you a very young girl in her prime? You have already given up even before you started? Who are those going to be the the next female leaders of the next generation. Baby girl start dreaming and yes! Leave that village. No matter the challenge you will face, be determined to overcome it and make your dreams come through. It's possible
I forgot to add that biz is not easy too ooo. And many dont have a flare for it. So do you have a flare? Do you like biz, do you like the particular biz your dad is thinking of opening for you? Cos it can be opened and it will close down after a year or less. Think on this too.
DeleteAlso, freedom should not be an occasion to sin or live recklessly .
Living alone, you will be prone to many temptations and if not disciplined and careful, you can mess your life up.
So you must set standards for yourself. Like the most you can be time you can be outside, who can visit you at home, etc. Learn accountability and modesty. Nothing dey outside after 5:30pm as someone said above.
All the best dear.
You finished work, no cap!! Including your rejoinder.
Deleteyou want freedom, nothing dey for freedom. We that stay alone we cannot go out once is 6:30pm cos the home training is already there. We stay alone still we find it very difficult to sleep outside our house, once we enter the house till the following day. My sister forget about freedom and make some money, who freedom epp.
ReplyDeleteThis freedom you crave for a time is coming when you will have it and yet you will prefer to come back to your family. Has loneliness dealt with you before? You better start with your dad since he has something for you. Than going to seek for freedom and come back to write no job anywhere, no hand work, no bf, no money to pay rent. Paying rent every year without support from anyone is not moi-moi, make sure you are very much prepared for freedom.
Pls I go out after 7pm
DeleteWhat type of home training
My dear, don’t take the business center. It’s an advent of stagnation as you will be so into it that resigning to take up another job will feel like betrayer.
ReplyDeleteGo out there and explore the world.
I came from a family income of N300k to having my own income of N986k because I rejected any means of my parents looking for a job for me, instead I familiarize myself with job sites and Nairaland in acing interview questions. My life has since changed.
Bottom line is that you should intentional about what you want and work towards it. Having the mindset that your degree can’t get you a role with a multinational is not quite right. I know that most multinationals don’t even ask for what you studied- probably the 2:1 criteria for fresh graduates which many of them are now quiet on due to the massive japa of skilled workers from the country.
Infact, now is the time to get that dream job as it’s nolonger as competitive as it was in the past.
Can't go out once it's 5:30?! These are the people that will still expect a magical husband from that girl after nysc just watch. Carve your own path. You studied micro bio. Switch. Learn data analysis. A tech skill. You will be alright. If you want to follow your heart, do it. "Regrets for the things we did, can be tampered by time. It is regret for the things we didn't do, that's inconsolable". All the best to you
ReplyDeleteUse the nysc and relocate first, save even if you are going to denied yourself lavish things, then with your savings move to a city, it may be hard first with getting a Job and with life,but believe when I tell you it will get better with time rather than being cage at home
ReplyDeleteYou never know what the future have in store for you
Please Poster stay and build with your Dad, there's time for everything. Your dad really mean well for you.
ReplyDeleteHello poster, I don't know your religious affiliation but there is something called the will of and it should be sought and found. Please pray for God's guidance and give up your own ideas. Let God decide what to do with you next.
ReplyDeleteI also grew up with over protective parents. I was just calm and bidding my time - that when I go for service, I will NOT come back. That was what happened. I am sure that if it was a option, they would have wanted me serve in the same town.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate their protection, of a girl child. As a parent I understand where they are coming from. But I will never do the same to my children. I will even drive my kids to their outings if I have to. I want them to explore and see the world in all it’s goodness and badness. Don’t get me wrong, I am protective over my kids. But that “over” is what I have thrown away.
There is a lot out there in the world to explore. Over protective parents think that they are doing you good but they are not. You will eventually go out to the world, and experience it not matter how bad it is. You need to have plans for yourself, dreams of what you’d like to accomplish, go out there and do so. With your one year NYSC work experience you can even decide to japa to Canada because you have age on your side. Do not let them decide your life for you abeg. Please don’t let fear of the unknown restrict you. As long as you live a careful and decent life, pursuing a life time of independence is attainable.
Tell your dad that you cannot accept his proposal for now till you have finished your NYSC, in that way you buy yourself enough time to explore and feed yourself with all the life cravings you have always wanted and also decide what you want out of your explored life at the end of your service year. Life experiences sometimes reshape our life's aspirations.
ReplyDelete