Hmmm...
DEALING WITH THE CHANGES AFTER CHILDBIRTH
Please mothers in the house, I've got some stuff bothering me since I gave birth in November. I had a tear and was stitched but after one week, the stitches loosened without the place healing. I went back to the hospital and after examining the place by my doctor, they said that it can't be stitched again until my next time in labour room and we are not planning on having another baby not until after 3 or 4 years by God's grace.
I was given some prescription both for healing and for pain alleviation because I was really in so much pain. I was also asked to do sitz bathe. I was really worried about that place becoming too open but I was told not to worry that it will heal and still be okay (tight) that the only difference is that any body seeing that place will surely know that something happened there unlike when it is stitched and healed properly that it goes back to looking like it was before the tear. I did as instructed, took my medication and sitz bathe and felt the place healed.
I also Stopped feeling pain down there. But now, the issue is that whenever I visit the loo and sit on the toilet seat, I feel some kinda pressure down there and it makes me so uncomfortable that I keep on changing position till I'm done.
I'm really scared of what will become of that place and me when we resume bedroom activities. Secondly, I'm now suffering from labour induced Haemorrhoids(pile) . It got to a point that I couldn't even pass waste and I was taken to the hospital for treatment before I was able to...
I took drugs and was okay then but now, I'm still finding it difficult most times. I drink enough water but still... Please what can I do. Again, since I gave birth, I feel emotionally dead towards my husband That urge is 0 percent.
The way I feel inside me since November, I might just stay from now till December without bothering my husband / bothering about s#x. I've communicated my fear to my husband and he said that I shouldn't worry about it that we will see a doctor for solutions but I'm just wondering, will seeing a doctor sort it out??. Inside of me, I feel like a totally different person.
*WOW!!!!
The things woman goes through and the changes to the body after a baby arrives, I cant find words to describe it...We smile and laugh but most are damaged forver down there and inside...
That dead feeling towards your hubby will return when you heal properly so dont worry at all.....
Give yourself time to heal nah, You just had the baby in November, you still have time to heal OK?
So so sorry for what you are going through......
Are you breastfeeding? If Yes, that also messes up the feelings, irs a cocktail of a lot of changes affecting you my dear....
Feels like I wrote this chronicle.
ReplyDeleteI am going through everything written in this chronicle.
I put to bed in October and was given TEAR due to the negligence of the nurse that was assigned to monitor my progress.
Abeg I no fit talk.
Pele dear,everything will be fine,in no time.
DeleteE hugs and I am so sorry for what is happening
DeleteIt’s normal not to really feel sexy this particular time because you are already dealing with a whole lot.
Please do not blame yourself, you did your part.
Push up (original)
Sorry Sis, All will be well. You are a Superwoman 👸
DeleteYou can get a second opinion from a different Gynecologist. Try Government Hospitals. If you in the Northern region of Nigeria, they will fix you up well at the Government Hospitals as they are use to treating and repairing down there from VVF, etc
There's solution to what you experiencing. Stay Strong Queen. It will pass and you will be fine
Yeah, you are right. If she is in the north and can discuss it with a close friend or colleague, she will get help wella.
DeleteSorry dear.
DeleteI'm not a mother yet but I have been around a lot of mothers. I think time plays a major role in the healing process. Six months at most for people that's not that lucky in snapping back.
I pray God comes through for you.😍
So sorry dear...women really go through a lot having children ... so sad. Most of the time we are never the same again😢. It is a lot
DeleteBeing a woman! GOD bless all women. I know a midwife that don't give tear, except the one heavy baby gives,which is rare.
ReplyDeleteWhat she does ,she uses olive oil ,once the baby has crown, she has a nurse pouring the olive oil while she massages the birth canal for easy delivery and no tear.
When a woman has tear, sitting on a very hot water causes the stitches to weaken and wear out.
What a woman needs is just warm water with dettol and sometimes salt.
That hot water pressing on stomach does nothing, tie your tummy, take things that purge out retain products, take things that produce enough milk like fenugreek so you don't eat too much cos of milk production.
Please poster, worry less, you can talk with you doctor and maybe bring your conception closer to correct it.
Thanks for this
DeleteI don't think most hospitals emphasize enough on this.
When I had my second, the nurses kept singing it like a song, don't sit on hot water, just sitz bath which consist of warm water, salt and dettol, finish!!
I healed under 2 weeks, I went back and they looked at the stitch and confirmed i had healed. I then started the hot water stuff but I couldn't bear it so I stopped.
Please ladies don't sit on very hot water after you get stitched, at least for a while.
I am sorry Duchess
I'm so sorry, Mama. May God heal you, Amen. Try and see another doctor for a second opinion on the tear.
ReplyDeleteNigerian doctors don't like stitching their patients properly. Lack of regulation.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, go back to the gynaecologist, check the stitches.
Then take a lot of fruits, eat small dates and ginger. Continue with the sitz bath and pelvic exercise. You will be fine. You will fuck again and again.
Tk care.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Dear poster, pele *E-Hugs* I don't know about the tear but I know what you can do to help with the constipation and piles. It is called an ENEMA. Google it and watch YouTube videos to know how to administer it. It will help remove toxins from your body and make you healthier and younger looking, it will also help remove the big belly that remains after many Nigerian women have children. Most importantly it will eventually restore your regular flow in the toilet and help the piles to heal. The only thing is enemas are for very clean people. The process is very sensitive and you must clean up your equipment thoroughly before and after use. I recommend doing it once a week, if it's more frequent than that your body might become reliant on it for you to go...
ReplyDeleteHmm I don't think it's good to keep doing enemas like that. It's meant to clear up your bowels if they are impacted by hard poo after clearance you need to eat a lot more fibre, like plenty fruits vegetables and legumes. This will help to keep your colon clean and give you pre and probiotics for a healthy gut. Also drink lots of water and fruit tears. Less sugary foods.
DeleteAlso movicol is a good to use long term but preferably fruit veg and beans
DeleteEhugs sis,I also went thru something like this,mine was even worse.i would encourage you to continue the sitz bath correctly(look for a bowl that can fit your buttock,then you sit inside and not squat),make sure the water is Luke warm and not very hot water twice daily.
ReplyDeleteEat lots of fruits, vegetables and rest well.
You can use stool softener(the one breast feeding mum can use)pending when the haemorrhoid will go.
The bulge you are feeling is from the vagina,once you are fully healed,you won't feel it again.
If after one month you are not still feeling well,visit a gynaecologist.
So that it will not form tissue granulation as my case.
All the best sis🥰
Women and birth , God only will reward you ,infact women supposed to be the owner of children as in Ghana , God will heal u but have it in mind some changes down there are never going to be as before may your husband be reasonable enough to manage it whichever because you see my gender they are olojukokoro ,they always want to eat their cake and have it still after eating
ReplyDeleteTruly
DeleteMen need training on realistic expectations and emotional Intelligence
You just had a baby you carried for 9 months. Give yourself time to heal from those 9 months.2 months is not enough. Your husband should too
ReplyDeletePlease go and see an obstetrician and Gynaecologist.The will sort you out.That place shouldn't be so after childbirth.Sitz bath is outdated!!! No specialist will ask you to do so.we once had something similar to this chroniclr,though hers was worse.She had a repair done by a gynaecologist and today she's fine.pls if you are in d east I can help put you through.
ReplyDeleteHello Dandy, I'm in the East. Anambra to be precised
DeleteI am not a mother but please see a specialist, someone with advance training so you can get the appropriate care. Your case does not seem unique and actually seems treatable under the right care.
ReplyDeleteIf you drop your location perhaps someone can recommend a very skilled doctor to see.
The first mistake you made was relying totally on your doctor. A week old tear can be restitched to enable better healing and make down there look better. Anything that concerns one's health shouldn't be left in the hands or opinion of one doctor. You should have gone elsewhere to get that tear stitched up. I don't know if anything can be done now. Maybe doctors in the house can lend their voices.
ReplyDeleteAs for your zero libido,it could also be psychological, seeing you are already bothered about the state of your hooha and also dealing with pile. Relax and engage yourself in fun stuff. You could also watch erotic movies and see if that could stir something in you.
Hugs sweetie
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the new baby. Wish you and the family all blessings.
ReplyDeleteA lot of changes happens in the body with pregnancy and child birth. Stella gave you some really great advice on what to expect in the road to recovery. This too shall pass; pls be patient with your body and progress, and with you hubby and baby too. You are all in this together and it will turn out for joy.
The pressure you feel when You go to the toilet is likely to be due to pelvic prolapse. Try kegel exercises; it is one of the best thing you can do after recovery to help the nether region regain strength and shape.
Take care of yourself. This too shall pass and you will get though it
Hey poster I too just had a baby in November, though did not have tear but was worried about bedroom activities, the first time we resumed was weird but we eased into it little by little,. Everything is fine trust me its your mind playing trick on you. ( postpartum depression) please just take care of your self and continue to talk to your husband about your struggle, sharing helps, I am still going through it especially with my son who is colic stricken but we will win trust me.
ReplyDeletePls go back dear, hope it’s not uterine prolapse via the pressure you feel in the Loo.
ReplyDeleteWoman go through a lot.
That Labour induced hemorroids is the reason I opted for elective cs, though I healed completely after some months the fear of it and everything that has to do with labor no gree me go through it a second time.
E-hugs dear. Take your time and heal
I am pregnant and opting for CS.i can’t stand all the pain and wahala of vaginal birth
DeleteYou didn't go to another doctor preferably an obstetrician and gynaecologist for second opinion. You took the words of one doctor and ran with it. I hope and pray you heal perfectly. Mothers are supreme , honour and respect yours
ReplyDeletePele poster,all the things you mentioned is not new to most new mum,give it time and if not satisfied,visit a specialist hospital.
ReplyDeletePoster, I had a similar case after my last baby. The tear was so much & it wasn't even stitched at all. I was only told to do sitz bath for some days. When I noticed that the pain was still there after two weeks, I extended it to one month, morning & evening. After one month, the place still wasn't healed, but I had to stop because I got tired. To my greatest surprise, three months after I stopped the sitz bath, I noticed that the pain I used to feel down there had disappeared on its own & the tear completely healed. I will advise you keep up with the sitz bath if you can, or see a gynaecologist for proper check up. Sorry for what you're going through. That's one of the sacrifices we women make just to bring forth children. You'll be fine.
ReplyDeleteNo offense to my country but many Nigerian doctors are awful practitioners. They should have provided you with a plastic surgeon and your obgyn surgeon should have asked you to keep coming around for follow up consults. These are things that many women in the Western world don't suffer from. Nigerian doctors will always come to the conclusion that since you're married it really doesn't matter.
ReplyDeletePlease if you have the money, seek a second opinion and find yourself a new obgyn
You just came here to spew trash.American Doctor,come back to naija and practice let's see how far.That woman wasn't managed by a specialist,I can bet with my licence.Whjch gynaecologist cannot suture an episiotomy or repair one when it breaks down.I am a Nigerian doctor,I won't allow you disrespect us
DeleteLmao! Plastic surgeon indeed! Na who go pay? Wetin concern plastic surgeon and birth canal? Some people will come here and talk outlandish nonsense and if one is not careful, you'll believe them. As if na so them Dey give people plastic surgeon for developed countries
DeletePlease I need recommendation. I don't want to go back to the hospital again. I reside in the Eastern part of the country Onitsha Anambra State. Stella, thank you so much for posting this here.
ReplyDeleteHello poster,I will ask Stella to send me your number.I am a gynaecologist in enugu.i will direct on what to do.Do not despair
DeletePoster don’t worry urself. Take care of urself, when u heal completely, go and meet a very good gynae doctor tell him/her u want perineal repair. They would do for you and you would become whole again. These girls that do runz for a living, after they finish all their waka, na wetin them they do, and their husbands don’t even realise what happened. Good luck
ReplyDeleteI have said it before and am saying it again. Some women shouldn’t give birth through the Vagina including me. I suffered terribly from a single vagina child birth. I almost lost my anal and urine retention but it’s better now. I had a tear and that got torn. After that I developed a very large Bartholin cyst at the same spot, which they said was as a result of the trauma there. I surgically removed the cyst twice but it kept coming back until God had pity on me and allowed the cyst to get infected. After so much pain, it drained on its on and right now I preach to women about the beauty of CS. Believe the Hebrew women thing at your own risk, any way of child birth is childbirth and none is easy but but vagina birth is worst and really really ugly for some women including you and I. So sorry, but know that time takes care of everything including what you are going through. Also know that you should consider CS next time. That was what I used for the rest of my children 🤗
ReplyDeleteTry to see another doctor. E-hugs to you. You will be fine.
ReplyDeleteMothers are trying
ReplyDeleteGOD bless all good mothers
Consistent sit bath will help with time but most importantly relax.
ReplyDeleteAs a man sitting and reading what our mothers and wives and daughters are going through, then one silly man-child will now open mouth waaaa like gutter and complain his wife's body has changed, bla bla. Men, appreciate your women o, ko easy. The coochy may look one kain from not being seen properly but the Koko will still be decently tight. Pele iya wa.
ReplyDelete