Is stinginess a red flag in a relationship? what happens when you find out that the person you married is serially stingy?
Are you married to someone very stingy with money, time, love, affection, food? Stingy with everything! Did you see the signs and thought this person would change? Do you now consider these signs as a red flag and would advice anyone dating such a person to run? How are you both coping?
Are you dating someone who is serially stingy with EVERYTHING you can think of?How are you coping? is it affecting the relationship? Do you intend on marrying this person but now have cold feet because of this stinginess?
Lets gist!
By the special grace of God, I am married to an exceptional being ; he is a giver and always look out for us. I am also a giver. I’m severely allergic to stingy people. I know of an uncle who is extremely stingy even to himself. It’s sickening. I don’t know how they do it. I can’t leave with a stingy person
ReplyDeleteStinginess is definitely a red flag 🚩
DeleteStinginess is a turn off for me.
ReplyDeleteThose married please come and give us some gist.
I met a guy, he sends money randomly when we started dating. Recharge cards etc. I'm not the type that ask people for things, he did it on his own, some I will tell him to hold on. One day I posted something about entitlement on my WhatsApp status, that no one has the right to get angry, with someone else's money. That was the day he stopped sending me anything. I haven't ask him either. So, I don't know whether he is stingy or not. But the sudden change shock me tho
ReplyDeleteMaybe he felt that you were taking him for a fool or not appreciating him. Or maybe he sees you as someone he would be wasting his time spending on since he can still have you anyway. Just know the tables have turned, and it is highly unlikely for things to go back to the way they were.
DeleteYou invoked the stinginess into him with your post.
DeleteHe's waiting for you to ask so that he'll throw your words back at you.
Biko abort mission.
Hahahaha
DeleteIndependent woman gang. Why you dey complain na
The relationship haf enter korofo territory
DeleteStingy is relative. I dated a girl whom I did everything for, wasn't expecting anything from her since she had no job. After each gift, saying thank you was difficult for her, even to send an SMS saying thanks, is hard. I'd give her airtime, she would flash instead of calling. It was too stressful for me, I had to call it quits. Now you have to be close to my level for to date: which was what happened shortly after. This current chic is a boss, humble to the core, she is so generous that that I reimburse her anytime she does stuff for me. An occasional credit so she won't figure out it's a form of reimbursement. If she has figured it out, well I guess she enjoys the equal attention.
ReplyDeleteNice if all you said is true
DeleteWhy the if
DeleteGuys are generally stingy. They are very strategic when it comes to giving girls "money" but of course they can spend to thrill the lady.
ReplyDeleteThis is my opinion though, I may be wrong.
I cant stand stingy greedy people their hand always out to recieve but you can never drop 1 kobo even by mistake.
ReplyDeleteThey dusgust me.
I can't even stand you as a friend much less date you?
How?
What do we have in common?
Since June, I've packed 2 full bags of clothes I plan to give out in December.
Will always volunteer time, money etc whatever I have.
Me that I'm always looking for opportunities to give even when I have nothing?
Please don't bring your cursed stinginess near me.
Asked my boyfriend to send me cash for chocolates and I needed to sub for browsing. Guy hardly does anything for me and I just needed to feel special. I don't mind getting the chocolates myself just send the money. It took him a week to send for something I needed that weekend. It was a craving. When he finally sent it, It was 1k he transfered. A man proposing marriage. I felt bad cos I am one to go overboard when making one feel special. I love giving so it's a red flag for me when i meet someone who's stingy.
ReplyDeleteAunty please Waka
DeleteHe won't change for the better
Hope you have dumped him. If you go agead and marry him, don't say you didn't see the signs o
DeleteNo no, why be with a stingy person? I can’t be friends with them mbuk! I am generous and randomly gift my friends without them asking so I expect them to make little efforts too. As for a man you must be generous with your resources and be willing to take care of me before I can consider you request.
ReplyDeleteI am not poor so you must match up.
When I hear stingy in a relationship, it confirms the transactional aspect of love to the average Nigerian mind. There is no love. You pay to play. Love ends when payment stops.
ReplyDeleteTransactional Love is so accurate.
DeleteStella mentioned Time, Emotions, etc, but what are people is discussing on this post, Money! Misplaced and entitled attitudes
My sister's friend dated one guy that, was so so so stingy to the extent he told her that she must chew the middle bone in fish, that she's so wasteful. Plus other petty petty things as not throwing any spoilt ugwu when cooking or the rotten part of onion omo....she left his sorry ass
ReplyDeletePoverty promax minded man you described
DeleteBig red flag. Can’t even stay in a relationship with a stingy person talk more of marrying the person. If u like call me a gold digger, you are right!
ReplyDeleteIf from the little u have, u can’t do small small things for ur partner then u just don’t like that person and you should go and date someone that does not expect that of u
Eka Joy, that your last paragraph. I can say that's part of the reason why I married my man because no matter how little he had then he always shows up for me and even till now. He can give me anything as far as he has it and that's why I've been praying to God everyday to help me uplift him financially more than this. And I'm also a giver as well, I can give anything as long as I have it. So tell me what will I be doing with a stingy person? Even as friends and thank God for my family and my best friend too, those ones too can give ehn. Stinginess disgust me for real
DeleteThank God for this post because I've almost had it. My spouse is a stingy kom kom. He will never drop money for anything.he expects me to carry out all the responsibilities . We both work . I don't ask him for money as I'm always quick to spend mine . But recently I just realised I've been doing it all on my own and I'm getting tired. It's better I'm on my own single than be married and still live like I'm single . And no I never saw any flag because I'm an independent lady and dint think I had to ask cash from him.
ReplyDeleteYou're the perfect candidate, this is always how the story goes
DeleteU see this independent thing during dating ehn, most times the women end up regretting it.
DeleteI have a relative that was like this. She’s married now and her husband will watch her struggle to save up to buy things like laptop or pay for courses and he will never drop a pin even though he can easily afford to. He will pay for those things for his siblings but will never lift a finger to help her pay for it or even contribute towards it.
Even flight ticket to relocate and join him in the UK after marriage, she paid every last kobo herself but same man could pay the entire flight ticket for his siblings to go to the same UK from Nigeria. Ofcourse she has no issues with him helping his siblings but the fact that he won’t do for her is her problem. When she was hosting me ehn, she was in tears, like heart wrenching tears oh.
Thank God i didn’t try that nonsense while dating and now I’m enjoying my free spending husband
“I don’t ask him for money” sanu o madam independent, why you dey complain? Hahahaha
DeleteA responsible man shouldn't wait to be asked, the same way a woman is expected to assume chores in the home after marriage, the man is to assume some financial responsibilities once married. That man no follow abeg.
DeleteFind somebody you husband respects to talk sense into him. It is a level of wickedness to see your spouse struggle when you can help
DeleteA NORMAL man is a protector and provider, anything else are vermin waiting for who to be a liability husband to
20: 28 you are right. This poster here, you don't believe in asking a man for money, fine. When he did not do the little things he should do for you without you asking, why didn't you see that as red flag and flee?
DeleteA stingy man will always show it no matter what. If you are independent , he should still do some little things, if he doesn't, flee or else, premium tears loading
Stinginess is a no no for me
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing like stinginess, it is people that are greedy. My husband never bought anything for me while we were dating because I got all I needed from my parents. I didn’t need a phone in school because my parents didn’t want me to have one. Stop planning on people’s money
ReplyDeleteWe spend our money any how we want after saving 50% for kids college and hose expenses. If I see what I think he will like , I buy and same for him and we got married in 2001.
Stingy people will be calling others stingy. Mind your money and leave people with their expectations on their finances.
Madam you were fortunate to marry a kind guy who never gave you anything during courtship. Please Ladies don’t try this
DeleteMa'am you are just fortunate. Most stingy boyfriends are stingy husbands
DeleteStinginess is the anthem of extremely poor people who expect free handouts
ReplyDeleteIf you notice someone's greediness, then you are very poor and greedy to have noticed in the first place
ReplyDeleteSome ppl are so stingy they even refuse from eating well because it will cost more for them.
ReplyDeleteThat is self sabotage
DeleteS.O just left the chat room!
ReplyDeleteMost of the posts here are about women who complain about a man's money and how he chose to spend it ( not on them). These same women are the proponents of "spending money in me is not an entitlement" or "I'm an independent woman" or "a woman can be anything a man can be" and the rest but you don't have a stand on what you want to be.
ReplyDelete