Hmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ENGAGED TO SISTERS EX
Some months later, I took him home to meet my parents but something happened that changed my happy story to a sad one.
I have an elder sister, who is still unmarried and goes clubbing almost every night. i was surprised to find out from her that she once dated this guy last year and I will not be able to marry such a man.
Now, my parents are against my marriage to this man. I have begged my elder sister to appeal to our parents cos this guy is nice and fun to be with but my sister said that she will rather die than watch me get married to a guy that she once dated.
Pls bvs, I need your advice. I am in love with this guy and we have started planning our wedding before my sister ruined it all. if I don't get married to him,
I was delighted to finally be getting married to the man of my dreams.
Some months later, I took him home to meet my parents but something happened that changed my happy story to a sad one.
I have an elder sister, who is still unmarried and goes clubbing almost every night. i was surprised to find out from her that she once dated this guy last year and I will not be able to marry such a man.
she went ahead and spoke lies about him to my parents.
Now, my parents are against my marriage to this man. I have begged my elder sister to appeal to our parents cos this guy is nice and fun to be with but my sister said that she will rather die than watch me get married to a guy that she once dated.
She's only angry because he broke up with her last year.
Pls bvs, I need your advice. I am in love with this guy and we have started planning our wedding before my sister ruined it all. if I don't get married to him,
I may harm myself.
Please forget that man and move on... The atmosphere is strained and in the Naija context you cannot marry someone that has dated your sibling. It does not matter what your guy tells you, he dated your sister and probably slept with her and then broke up with her... she is scorned.
Please forget that man and move on... The atmosphere is strained and in the Naija context you cannot marry someone that has dated your sibling. It does not matter what your guy tells you, he dated your sister and probably slept with her and then broke up with her... she is scorned.
Remember also that in Marriage it takes more than being in love to make it work.........
In Marriage, LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH
ReplyDeleteLet him go!
DeleteI have an elder sister, who is still unmarried and goes clubbing almost every night:we don't need this information.
ReplyDeleteI won't marry a man that has dated any of my siblings no matter how good a man he is.
Well,if your tribe/family accept such,you can keep begging her to support your marriage.
Trying to highlight her elder sis imperfections to strangers online so as to gain their validation speaks volume. Of all the people in that mall, it’s your elder sis’ ex you were able to hook up with.
DeleteWait, you mean 6 months and more after you guys had started dating the guy never knew you were his ex’ junior sis? You mean he proposed to marry you even without knowing your folks or at least your family name or where you’re from? Aunty i feel say you never talk true… this your story no clear.
E nor clear rara.
Delete@ Numero, you talk sense 💯
DeleteI think getting married to someone your sister once dated doesn’t seem and look right.
ReplyDeleteIf you marry the guy what makes you think he wouldn't cheat on you with your sister. Just free the guy because marrying him will be at your own peril. Temptations play in marriage. Just forget the guy and return his ring.
DeleteShe doesn't yet understand deep things.
DeleteGo ahead in your foolishness and marry him ,you will regret it ,where is morality and good conduct ,did you find out from the man why she left your sister ,apart from the bad blood you will create with your sister ,what if the marriage didn't work ,which family will you go back with.Dont lose your family because of a man.period
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm
ReplyDeleteYou may harm yourself?
ReplyDeleteWow! Just wow
Gifty
Sis.
ReplyDeleteIf You trully love him and he is a Good Man.
Marry him.
I am Married to a Delta Man that intially dated my Immediate Younger sis.
Although they didnt have sex oooooo.
She was 20, i was 21 in the University, he was 27.
Today we have 4children, married for 19years,leaving our Best lives.
2 key points.
*THEY NEVER HAD SEX
* HE IS A GOOD MAN.
Yours is acceptable because your sis never had sex with him
DeleteDid your sister object to the marriage
DeleteIf she didn’t, your case is different
From your narration,you never asked this man what transpired between your blood sister and him,you don't even know and don't care to know,all because you're inlove and he proposed marriage?
ReplyDeleteYou don't want to question him,before he gets angry and dumps you too abi?
You need a very detailed explanation from your sister and her ex before you decide on anything,don't be desperate and make no one your enemy just yet.
Poster are you sure you can handle this guy, the marriage and your sister. If you get married to this guy your sister maybe flirting with him if time is not taken.
ReplyDeleteThis guy slept with your sister before you both met, you may not trust him with your sister if you get married cos you will be having bad feeling about him.
If you feel that you can comfortably cope with him, your sister then you can go ahead to marry him but don't you use that against him in the future.
Your sister is jealous and angry cos he didn't propose to her. She feels you are not good enough to get married before her. Above all you need to pray and seek the face of God
Say only what you know
DeleteAnd what happens if the next guy you bring home as slept with your sister also? Your sister ought to forget and move on with her life.
ReplyDeletePray she has a change of mind ,if not you may have to forget about the guy.
But will you also be able to marry the guy and trust him? If na me ,I go dey always think they'll still knack one day.
Why is the sister so mad about this? They both feel in love without knowing his history with her. She may have been heart broken but why ruin it for her sister? It seems she hasn't gotten over the hurt. Poster, be sure what you term as 'lies' aren't facts. There is no point harming yourself. Call a family meeting and speak to your parents. This is the same issue that happened with the indimi sister's and she still went ahead and married the guy.
DeletePoster I don't understand how you dated this man all these times you both didn't get to know your sister is his ex... like its not even cousin sister o, sister gangan, no na.
ReplyDeleteThis speaks volumes about this man's character.
Could it be that he already knew you are his ex sister but he kept mute just so he can continue this relationship?
Like how can my man not know about all of my siblings? Don't you people discus in that thing you call a relationship?
I don't trust this man, he might be good to you o, but a lot of comma don follow this guy come, it's best you forget him and move on biko, for peace to reign.
You might just be dodging a bullet...
Finally, someone is saying the truth. Like, the man never bothered to tell you he dated your sister until your sister told you. You mean, he never asked for your family pictures or is not interested in your family? You mean, regardless of the previous relationship, you will marry him like that? You and this man's character is questionable.
DeleteHow does it speak about the man's character but not about the sister's character if her sister didn't know she dated him? Na una go way let the past be in the past. So he should have tabled the first and surnames of all the girls he has slept with?
DeleteLol 18:58 you’re stretching
DeleteIt’s not that hard to remember the last name of a girl you dated unless you’ve dated an unmentionable amount
It's possible the man didn't know they were related. It was possibly a hook up situation where the elder sis caught feelings and he didn't. For the poster not to know of the guy when he dated her sister speaks volumes too
Delete22.53 it doesn’t speak volumes. Her sister may not have mentioned the guy tiger sis but unless they have difft surnames, that guy knew whom she was when they met. Some guys will date your sister to spite you. A guy has asked my sister out in same event when I said no. Be careful poster
DeleteThis is not fair at all
ReplyDeleteYou may harm yourself? Why are you threatening us??
ReplyDeleteYour sister told you the guy is no good but you rather believe someone that you met less than a year. Why are you painting your sister bad I mean who clubs everyday? Okay if your sister clubs everyday as you claim, she must have met the guy in club where they club together everyday.
You should even be the one to reject that guy the moment you found out he dated your sister, or won’t she visit your home when you get married? Remember they say “once chopped is always chopeable”.
Fan Emmanuel
If she goes ahead and marry him, the guy will cheat on her with her own sister.
DeleteIf the guy is good and loves you, he should go meet your mum explain whatever that happened btw him and your sis, your mum should be able to know.
Don't paint your sis black because of a man. If it didn't work, move on but if he's your husband, allow God to handle it.
Poster pls forget this guy and move on,God will give you your own true hubby. I can't even date my friend's ex not to talk of marrying my 'blood' ex.
ReplyDeleteBTW,what's the guy saying in all these.
How do you even feel comfortable getting married to someone who once dated your sister? It's a big NO, especially if both of them were "intimate". It's a huge turn off for me!
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that will make me approve such relationship is if and only if he never had sex with your sister.
Pls leave the man, you don't want to get into this marriage with controversy trailing it already.
ReplyDeleteWhy would you hurt yourself because of a man? Pls don't harbour such thought.
It is wrong to marry him, one of the reasons is, he dated and dumped your sister. Also, how do you know that what your sister told your parents about him are lies?
A man can become an angel in order to get what he wants, he is an angel to you now, after marriage, your eyes will clear.
Your own man will come without controversies. The blessings of God bringeth no sorrows. You will be fine. Ehugs🤗
B4 u kill urself my sister pray first, how sure are u that this guy is ur soul mate, have u asked God, this guy seems perfect with no flaws and ur sister is the devil, do not harm urself bcoz of a man, rather take time out to seek the face of God, pray about it, if he is urs, the wind blowing will calm down later, and u and ur bobo will live happily ever after.
ReplyDeleteE get as this story be sha but if na me oooo alaye, I no go leave am. I go just dey sing "as e dey pain dem e dey sweet me". I go do my own investigation and if nothing come out I'll elope.
ReplyDeleteAlso, ask your guy what happened between him and your sister. Your sister might just be bitter because she's unmarried and you're about getting married before her.
Awon desperate people like poster. Elope now poster and you go see his true colors soon. By then, you won’t have family to run to.
DeletePoster its well.you can't get married to someone that had already dated your sister in the past.be prayerful, the lord will bring the right man destined for you.
ReplyDeleteYou’re a very wicked sister! From your write up it shows how jealous you are of your sister…. Go and marry him na. Azen
ReplyDeleteI think dude knew it said nothing
ReplyDeleteFollow your heart but check well first
Not every family is the same
I won’t marry my sisters ex but keep in mind not every family is close or stays close. My friend has not seen her sister in years. We would never do that in my family
This guy knew you were his ex younger sister and he kept quiet and knacked you. You can't tell me he doesn't know your name and surname. He must have known you were related to his EX via the name or via other discussion about family, unless your sister was a hookup or ONS. Come on, the ????? About his character don plenty.
ReplyDeleteAs in ehhh...sha recieve sense poster
DeleteThis can easily happen to many people.
DeletePoster is clearly not from a close knit family. If she were, her family especially her sister would have known about the guy she’s dating and vice versa. Also, her sister and the guy probably were never in a relationship. They only hooked up.
Your sister is scorned and therefore her judgment is flawed.
Whether poster marries this guy or not her relationship with her sister will be marred because her sister hasn’t handled this situation properly at all.
Poster, spend sometime alone and think. Ask yourself why and what you like about this guy. Really assess him and then meet your mother alone. Preferably outside your family home. And tell her why you consider him a suitable husband.
PS: There’s nothing wrong with marrying your sister’s ex boyfriend (in this case they were never in a relationship it was purely sex!)
Harm yourself? Okay, if you die he will most likely marry your sister. Imagine that.
ReplyDeleteMy dear friend question both of them. Do your findings o. But what do you guys discussed that don't centre on families from both sides. Make he no be like say the guy don chop both of Una.
ReplyDeleteIf it's God's will for you both go ahead but if not discard him fast. You want to harm your self, go ahead and harm yourself since he is the only man in Nigeria
Please do not harm yourself because of anyone,talkless of a man,that is your blood sister's ex. Leave him.
ReplyDeleteMarry him na. But remember to bring ur marriage chronicle here let’s see o. E go sweet!!
ReplyDeleteYou seem like the naive reserved kind of person that codes matter from your family. Cos why won't your family know your man till last minute.
ReplyDeleteThat man is wiser than you and probably manipulative too. Na street man when dey find quiet good girl to put for house. You will see his true color when marriage start proper.
My dear, listen to your sis!! She is street smart and get sense pass you. Even if it may seem like she is bitter, she is trying to save you from future problems.
Please leave that man. Your man will come. Why will you even still feel any attraction for a man that has slept with your sister?
If you are the kind of person I suspect you are, then you probably wouldn't mind cutting off your family to be with the man right now, cos you are already a 'one man squad I like my space' kind of person. But when that guy start to show you shege, you will understand the value of family support.
You are wise
DeleteKisses and love to you anon 18:13
DeleteGet out of your emotions and feelings and see things for what they are. Isn't it great that this is coming out now and not after you got married or had a child. Please, is he the last man on earth? You are young, you can start over easily. Why would you want to push through to marry a man that has dated and likely slept with your sister? It is not good for any man to have knowledge of multiple women in a family. Then if things go left he can gossip and laugh how he ran through you all and even worsen your chances of making a good match. You know you live in a country where reputation is everything.
ReplyDeleteYou stating your sister parties a lot and is unmarried gives the impression you are impling that she is jealous of you and acting out of jealousy. Don't do that. She didn't have to say a thing and make you look a fool later in life. She is being a proper big sister and sparing you and any future children a lifelong embarrassment. If she was truly evil she would have let you marry him and simply laugh at you behind you back. Then in ten years when the bliss and glow have faded you would still be writing in chronicle to us that she deceived you by remaining silent. Mtsscchw
i am sure she said that to show us how the met and how unserious the relationship was...her sisters relationship with that guy was not serious and just hook up things. the sister is obviously pained and jealous. that said poster think well and give this relationship time...
DeleteSit your sis down and have a conversation
ReplyDeleteI don’t believe this story one bit. So this guy didn’t meet your family before he proposed marriage? He didn’t know your siblings or even spoken to your mum on the phone before proposing? He proposed to you just like that since you came alone to this world? If at all there is any iota of truth in your story, then you don’t have a good character and thank God you attracted your type.
ReplyDeleteGbam.
DeleteGod forbid I marry my friend's ex let alone my sister's ex, the man isn't a good man, after knacking your sister and dropped her, he wants to marry you, he even dated both of you in the same year.
ReplyDeleteAnyways follow your heart as nobody will be responsible for any action you take.
where did you see same year?
DeleteI know is hard but please let him go
ReplyDeleteI think you should let this one go. It is too complicated. I once went on a date with a guy that I met on a dating app. He didn’t know my surname. Less than an hour into the date, the guy told me that he had been on a date with my sister in the past. Just from our conversation he was able to connect me with my sister. Obviously, that was the end of that even though all he had done was take my sister out for dinner. Hence, I wonder how a man can date you for an entire year without realising that he has dated your sister. Didn’t you talk about your family at all or share pictures? This is an extremely weird situation. Imagine family gatherings after the marriage? You and your sister will be the butt of so many jokes once the man’s friends find out about this mess. I also don’t think he is a good man because a good man would have been open with you from the get go about dating your sister and let you decide your next steps. I’d also be worried about a man that broke up with my sister and left her bitter. I read nothing about you digging into that to find out what happened. You are just obsessed with marrying a guy you have only known for roughly a year. This situation signals disaster. Before you trade your family for a man, you better diligence that man thoroughly to ensure that he is worth it. Don’t let your present self make decisions that your future self will regret bitterly.
ReplyDelete01:10 that’s because the man and her sister only hooked up! There was no relationship! And the family isn’t close knit.
DeleteThey aren’t buddies they don’t talk in the family.
Anon 14:54. Your explanation makes sense. If her family isn’t close and she is sure of the guy, then let her follow her heart. After all, she is the one that will dance once the music starts playing.
DeletePoster na you sabi if you want to harm yourself because of a man. You’re sha not marrying him. Period. Desperado.
ReplyDelete