Hmmm...
DREAM MAN WITH PROBLEMS
I’ve known this very Calm, intelligent, honest, wealthy and handsome African American guy for a while now, we started as friends and now he’s talking about marriage BUT from the place of friendship he has confided in me about so many issues in his life .....
I’ve known this very Calm, intelligent, honest, wealthy and handsome African American guy for a while now, we started as friends and now he’s talking about marriage BUT from the place of friendship he has confided in me about so many issues in his life .....
He has erectile dysfunction and can only perform with vi#gra, has low sperm count, hypertensive, diabetic. Only one person with all these health challenges?? Forget the money or green card I don’t want to be a widow in my early years I don’t know why someone just can’t have it all.
Just when I thought I’ve met my perfect man! I’m 40 but we move…
*You dont want to be a widow in your early years? seriously? What if you die before him? why dont you go for it if you like him? Low sperm count can be treated if you wanna have a baby with him.... Every other thing na God hand e dey!
Go for it my dear.....
This is a good man you described up there.. go like Stella said.. person no dey complete finish..
ReplyDeleteDey deceive yourself, as if if dem give you, you go take.
DeleteYou think a Nigerian man will see a woman who can't perform in bed without drugs, fertility issues, hypertension, diabetic etc etc and agree to marry her?
Abeg, no let me laugh.🚶♀️
Go for it?
DeleteShe doesn't love this man and you're telling her to go for it.
All she likes about the man is that he's well to do.
That man deserves someone that loves him unconditional.
Lol Apple you’re biased
DeleteShe also said he’s calm and intelligent
Poster I hope you get to read this,if his low sperm count can be treated I feel yoi can go ahead,but the decision depends on you not us,read my story though, I once dated a man years ago and he wanted so much to marry me,very caring and loving older man,he had all these ailments in your post except for low sperms count,I loved him so much so I stayed and we improvised in every area that he was lacking,for his erectile disfunction he never used any drug,what we did was we used lubricant for him to be able to put his dick inside me and we both do come in ecstacy,we made love all the time and for me it was always the sweetest love making ever cos I loved him so much,he was diabetic as well and he took his insulin accordingly and I helped out too,had 3 children,unfortunately he passed away in a aircraft accident,he was an airforce,May your wonderful soul continue to rest in peace as I miss you so greatly H.A.Y,I really did loved you with my whole heart
DeleteLife no balance at all. One can never have it all.
ReplyDeleteWhat if he's trying to see your reaction or how you will handle it? There's always a room for better treatment in abroad than Nigeria.
DeleteYou don't love him, Simple. Please leave him for someone that will truly love him
ReplyDeleteFirstly, if you are a woman of faith, pls pray about it. Secondly, is he making any efforts to improve his health - healthy eating, exercises, etc.? We hear stories of people who have erectile dysfunction, diabetes and other health issues, and yet refuse to change their lifestyles. You don't want to be married to such a person; it will be frustrating. I pray God help you make the right decision. Best wishes!
ReplyDeleteMarry naaah..
ReplyDeleteUna don dey chop unaself tey tey
😂
DeleteBet you he will be insecure
ReplyDeleteDon't marry him if you know, you can't put up with the health challenges he has told you. There's no sugarcoating or marrying out of pity.
ReplyDeleteI agree Poster..Don't marry him out of pity..If you can't deal, you can't deal...You should not be afraid to go for what you want...Him being diabetic is connected to the low sperm count..
DeleteGbam!! poster don't let anyone cajole you into making a choice you are not comfortable with.
DeleteThose concerns of yours are very very valid, if you don't see yourself being able to cope with all those challenges, please move on ASAP, don't make a compromise here.
My only fear is the side effects of the Viag...a
ReplyDeletePoster, singleness is not a crime. There is no joy in being a man's nurse. If he was poor and not in the US, follow the same logic my dear. African American women have rejected him. Don't carry a heavy load that will cause you to cheat when someone healthy and not even as nice as him comes along.
ReplyDeleteAkata women wey no dey use fuck play. They will dump you like a hot coal
DeleteWe move ke?
ReplyDeleteWhy moving without the love you have waited for and God has given to you?
Aunty, the summary of your story is, You don't love him...
We understand that and it's more better that way than pretending to love all cuz of green card .
I salute your courage
I no do Abeg. If u were the one with all those many issues, will he go ahead and marry you?
ReplyDeleteAs for me, it’s a no no.
Abi o, me sef no go do.
DeleteSA to God on kowing it all. Like Stella said, what if you die before him, so many ill people roam the earth for years wI've seemingly Healthy people drop dead too you know. Na wa o! Some mothers do have them.
ReplyDeleteposter how sure are you that the guy has all you listed, what if he wanted to test you to be sure you like him for real and after money. If he has money and have low sperm count how comes he didn't work on that part.
ReplyDeleteThe best answer for you is to go on your knees and find out what God want for you, ask God to show you the right answer cos him alone can solve all issues. You can connect our faith with his and everything will be settled.
You can go for IVF which with God everything will work out fine. You can also for pertility test before you both get married and be sure oga is not telling you lies.
As per JAMB tester ba.
DeleteNa so una go test test until una bust open una head for rock.
Auntu is 40.
Dude should be mid 40s if not early 50s to mid 60s with his shopping list of woes.
Make e dey test dey go na as a tata.
tell him to join nsppd there is nothing God cannot do
ReplyDeleteDo whatever makes you happy. If you think/know you can't cope with his health challenges, the earlier you told him, the better.
ReplyDeleteWhat God cannot do does not exist.
ReplyDeleteNSPPD
DeleteLol you are 40 and still talking about being a widow in your “early years”. Continue waiting for the perfect man. Maybe in your more “earlier yrs” of 50s he will come.
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣 when I saw early years I thought she was in her early 20's only to see 40
DeleteThat one is your own business, if she says she is young, then she is.
DeleteThat she's 40 does not mean she shouldnt have a choice, you can ask for the man's contact from poster and marry him.
Thanks Dainty 40is young
DeleteBut young or not, don’t walk away without being sure
Poster, low sperm count can be treated.if you love this man,pls go ahead with him.
ReplyDeleteIf you know you love penetrative sex, pls don’t marry him before you end up cheating on him.
ReplyDeleteMen with erectile dysfunction can only be with women who orgasm through direct clitoral stimulation and aren’t keen on
penetration.
As regards his hypertension and diabetes, as long as he takes his medication and makes the necessary lifestyle changes, he will be fine.
Viagra is bad for hypertension so you both can have your kids through UVF.
No one knows who will die first abeg because some people with health challenges who do the needful live to ripe old ages while some seemingly ok people health wise drop dead or die in their sleep. Only God understands that one.
Be truthful to yourself and make your decision.
If you don't want to listen to Stella's advice, send his number accros , I want to tell him something 😂😂😂😂
ReplyDeletePoster, let me add, they will judge u oh, they will but I beat my chest and put it to u that at the mere mention of only erectile dysfunction, majority of the people judging u will run, talk more of adding all the other ailments to u.
ReplyDeleteAbeg, do u. If u know you don’t want to be with a sick man, take a walk now. Do not marry him for papers and then abandon you. Likes of me will never judge u for choosing urself first in this kind of situation
Thanks Eka..Well said
DeletePoster ask GOD without bias in your heart
DeleteThe moment you marry him and something happens to him they will say you've killed their brother,
ReplyDeleteI’m not worried about the dying
ReplyDeleteAll those things are manageable illnesses and people live long with them
Big issues are two
Is he the type that is following doctors instructions to fix the issues. Eat well exercise take your pills regularly etc or is he living any how. If he’s willing to help himself then you can both go on this beautiful journey together. Lots of people have these in the states so I’m not shocked at it at all.
Two, is the sexual issue linked to the above ie if he fixes them, is there a chance he’ll be able to do without viagra. Have an open conversation. Attend his doctors appointments and ask the important questions. Or get his labs and show to a doctor you know. As par naija way, I’m sure you have one doctor friend or family. Find out how serious his diabetes and Hypertension is
Sex is important to me. But don’t walk away till you get answers
I doubt viagra is good for someone with hypertension.
DeleteI agree, viagra requires a strong heart and vascular system. It's not a medication a man with high blood pressure should live on. More like an occasional treat a few times a year, not more than 5. They would have to find other methods more regualrly than depending on that medication before the man lands in an early grave. And having a man die on top of you is no woman' desire.
Delete19:15 well true
DeleteBut some people are more practical than others
Let’s think about it. Say you marry him and have a couple kids
He may die or he may live just like all of us
If he dies, you carry on taking care of your kids with his money
Or you may meet someone else
Or he may live long
Or you may never meet someone else or someone better
I know women living on hubby’s insurance money. Such is life
Viagra is a brand of Sildenafil, a medication for hypertension so I’m not sure why the viagra should only be taken “few times a year”. Many young Americans actually abuse it, using it like a party drug, adding it to their party cocktail, sane way some drink “Agbo Jedi”. Regardless of that, list your priorities & make sure it’s something you can live with. His other ailments are usually well managed here. I have patients who had transplants like forty years ago and you will not even know. The quality of healthcare is way better as long as he adheres to his prescriptions & has a healthy lifestyle.
DeletePoster are you in a relationship yet? I suspect you met online and have not met. Make sure you both want kids, many black Americans in their 50s already have kids and/or may not want kids so the low sperm count may be a decoy.
Because viagra has been implicated in heart attacks, that's why.
DeleteAbeg marry the guy if you truly care. You should count yourself lucky he even came clean with all his health challenges which to me are something that could be easily managed with diet and medication. Some Men have hidden something as serious as HIV from their intended spouses! The power of life and death are in the hands of God and someone without all his challenges could die before him!
ReplyDeleteTake his health challenges to NSDDP. God is healing repete.
ReplyDeleteAt least he's handsome in your book. Go for it
ReplyDeleteThe diabetes and high blood pressure could be reversed on diet and exercise alone, depending on his lifestyle. The high blood pressure and hypertension could be causing the erectile dysfunction, as that is usually the case. Have you asked him to look into working wuth a dietician or naturopathic doctor?
ReplyDeleteAnyways, someone like him is likely looking for a real true committment, so if you are not feeling it, do nor enter for selfish reasons that will cause pain to him. But like Stella says none of us knows our expiration date, he may very well outlive you. Maybe he knows you need the help and is trading his help instead of having to date a bunch of strangers and explain his story all over to them. It could be a win-win situation for both of you. At least you know upfront what you are getting into and no suprises.
My darling,go for what you want in life, don't be talked into it.every diabetic patient is hypertensive that's fact,then managing diabetic patient is not easy task,cooking without spicy ingredients,no sugary stuff around the house, special diet....the choice is yours.the only person who can tell you go ahead is God.
ReplyDeleteIt’s not like this na. It’s not that dramatic
DeleteMy Mum is diabetic
My dad eats same food she cooks and eats. He adds salt to his food most times but he has always done that.
It is not a fact that EVERY diabetic patient is hypertensive or vice versa.
DeletePls can you give him his contact?Maybe he will like me.Just what l need.
ReplyDeleteSome people no see sex for thier marriage. Me I don’t think we had any this year. If it favors you marry him . Her probably treat you better cos of his own shortcomings. Sex is not everything, and abroad chronic ailments are very well managed , patients might have normal life expectancy.
ReplyDeleteThere is penetrative sex and then there is sexual intimacy without penetration that can include a whole plethora of activities. Since the poster is not asexual I think she wants some kind of sexual life, not to go completely without it. The man too does seem like he has interest, just simply that he needs assistance in that area to get an erection. But sexual intimacy is more than erections and penetrations if folks were to open their minds just a little more, go a little slower, and get attuned to their tactile side.
DeletePoster are you God? How did you know he will die soon.
ReplyDeleteNa you sabi na, dey dia
Poster you better go for this man.
ReplyDeleteDon't miss your soul mate just bcos you feel he will die soon or he can't satisfy you sensually.
My man doesn't have a big D, but he is super romantic and all his gestures and other things he does makes up for that. He is also hypertensive, battling weight issues, all these negative things doesn't make him a lesser man. It's who he is at heart, his relationship with God and the his financial assets that matters.
Recieve sense now.
His financial asset abi. I for talk na. Hahahaha. Bad geh
DeleteWhat's the big deal with having Hypertension and diabetics. The drugs are easily accessible and cheap. Low sperm counts can't stop you from having kids. You don't like his person, yeah move on . My mother has been diabetic, asthmatic and hypertensive for over 25 years. Some of you ignorantly believe anyone with health issues will die before you
ReplyDeleteLow sperm count can stop kids or make it difficult
DeleteLet’s encourage without downplaying the truth
Low sperm count can stop him from having kid😳 are you joking or genuinely ignorant 😳
DeleteAlex stop trying to trivialize her concerns
DeleteIf the average incredibly selfish Nigerian man saw a lady before marriage with even half of her concerns in a lady he would cowardly ghost or run away
Diet and Lifestyle changes such as a whole food Plant Based Diet, Exercise, Sleep, Stress Management etc can help him control or reverse his high blood pressure, diabetes, and erectile dysfunction.
ReplyDelete