Hmmm....
SERIOUS AND URGENT ADVICE NEEDED
Please Bvs,I need your advice.
I am a female,41 years old, married to a very wonderful man. A man who gives me peace:...We have visited a lot of hospitals, carried out series of tests and it was discovered that hubby had low sperm count.
Please Bvs,I need your advice.
I am a female,41 years old, married to a very wonderful man. A man who gives me peace:...We have visited a lot of hospitals, carried out series of tests and it was discovered that hubby had low sperm count.
He was placed on drugs which he takes regularly but my condition still remain the same. i have prayed, cried and fasted, yet I haven't gotten a positive outcome.
Each day, I watch my neighbor's kids playing outside, it reminds me of my state.
I have searched for help from different places especially from white garment churches where I was given some candles to place under my bed where I sleep with hubby. its over a year these candles where given to me yet no result, just series of nightmares.
I and hubby have tried IVF in which we spent Millions on early this year, it was unsuccessful.
A close friend of mine shared her story with me how she had an affair outside her matrimonial home and she successfully got pregnant.
Bvs, I am considering this thought as my last and final option. i will be 42years next year without a child. i don't want to remain this way.
This is not a close friend but someone that wants to lead you astray to be disgraced.. You are talking about paternity scam here!
If you are really so sure you want to do it, please leave your husband or tell him what you are about to do and give him the choice to decide if he wants to go down that route or not.... There are women who do this with the knowledge of their husbands.....
Dont do this to this man that you described with such good words up there... YOUR CLOCK IS TICKING ALRIGHT AND EVEN AT THIS AGE YOU STILL RISK BIRTHING A CHILD WITH DOWN SYNDROME BUT PLEASE dont do it.....God is not alseep on your case and if you see that the problem persists, discuss it into the new year with your man..
Look before you leap basically
ReplyDeleteIt be nice you keep your husband in the know of what you have in mind to do too to avoid issues
As in she should tell her hubby that she wants to sleep with another man to get her pregnant abi. Ok oo
DeleteWhat about donor sperm? Maybe discuss with your husband poster.
DeleteMadam you must not birth a baby to be a mother. Why not adopt a baby?
Delete15:33 you should know this can be done without sleeping with the guy na
DeleteYou can opt for surrogate Dear...discuss with hubby ooo...May Almighty God come through for the both of you...
DeleteYes I know a family friend that allowed her hubby sleep with another lady so they can have kids.
DeleteWhy don’t you try a sperm donor or adoption with your husbands consent.
DeleteThese are better options than what you want to do.
I know it’s almost everyone’s desire to have their biological child but it’s 100 percent better to adopt one than have an affair.
Even if he forgives you cus he may be ashamed to tell anyone, how would you feel?
Are you ready to live your entire life walking on egg shells?
I know it’s not easy but after a long time of trying why don’t you adopt and when God gives your own child it will be an added blessing.
Just my advice.
Push up (original)
Pls join prayer platforms like Next level prayers with pastor Bolaji or NSPPD
DeleteWrong advice. Don't consider such, it's evil to give it a thought except your hubby is in agreement with it. You can adopt or plan with your hubby to use a sperm bank. What if you cheat and still no pregnancy, it will be a waste of sin.
ReplyDeleteHi Poster Please don't do it...Don't join the statistics for paternity fraud...How about you adopt kids Yes! Adopt a kid; it is an avenue for God to work wonders in your life and husband...Or you can try surrogacy too...Please and please don't hurt the happy life you both have built..God will do it and you will smile soon...All the best
DeleteMadam don't follow that your friend 's advice. You can adopt and perhaps God might grant you favour via that act.
DeleteI don’t know if it’s just me but I am pretty logical by nature, when there’s an issue, I try to figure a way out of it. I can be very impatient (God help me) so I like to try logical ways out.
DeleteAfter my first miscarriage I was already considering adoption and begging my husband to back me up (this was only 6months after my marriage) the doctor had to tell me to take a breather.
I know I don’t understand how trying parents may feel as I am not in their shoes but adoption is really another way, it’s not an easy process either but it’s a honest one, it’s a joint process, please talk to your husband about it.
I am really sorry for all you have been through
Push up (original)
You guys can adopt. If there's money, just keep trying. Your husband can test again so that if the meds ain't working to increase his numbers, ye can change meds. You too take supplements to boost your eggs, your age may begin to be a contributing factor.
ReplyDeleteGo use another sperm
DeleteThis sperm is not working
Save your eggs to try with smother man
@ Anon, blackberry is right. There is no saving of eggs in life. Every mo th she's wasting those eggs. She needs to try to boost the quality of her eggs and try IVF again. Sometimes IVF takes multiple cycles to work. This is not an easy place to be in. May God help you
Delete18:26 I’m sorry but you’re wrong
DeletePeople save eggs all the time
The doctors have said the sperm isthe issue
Please don't do anything drastic without your husband's consent and support.
ReplyDeleteHave you tried NSPPD?
You will testify.
Adopt a baby now. Please
Do it without approval if he doesn’t agree
DeleteTime is going
Awww,God will come through for you guys. Hold onto him firmly,he will do it.
ReplyDeleteFor the Down syndrome part they can test
ReplyDeleteFor you, if you haven’t already be sure to save some eggs. Not embryos. Then have a serious conversation with hubby about trying someone else’s sperm. Yes a sperm donor. If hubby refuses, then try a sperm donor without his permission
Note I didn’t say hide to do it. I said do it without him agreeing
Never give up the chance to have a child. You will regret it
If you can’t have , it’s difft but if you don’t do everything possible, you will regret it
Use sperm donor without Husband's agreement. Okay o.
Delete16:59 yes your husband is not God
DeleteMake your decision if he refuses
May God come through for you poster,please discuss with your hubby before taking any action that you will regret for life.
ReplyDeleteThat friend of yours wants to disgrace you,cut her off,she's not a friend but an enemy disguise..
Think about your action and the consequences involved if your hubby finds out..
Have a heart to heart discussion with your hubby.
It is well poster.
Her friend wants her to have a child
DeleteHer friend let her in to one of the greatest secrets of her life
She’s not a bad friend
She’s telling her the truth
Some of your friends do unheard of things to get the testimony you celebrate but they don’t tell you
I respect a friend that can say this to her friend
Don’t you see the risk the friend took by telling her
17:31 I get this angle. Truly for someone to open up and tell you something like this, they trust you a whole lot.
DeleteI wonder why Africans are so averse to adopting?
That's cheating on your husband madam. Please discuss with your husband about adoption.
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you adopt and save yourself all these stress.A mother is a woman that caters and guides a child while they grow,biology has nothing to do with motherhood.
ReplyDeleteYou have a wonderful husband,pls don't break his heart with paternity fraud.
Lol at break his heart
DeleteMadam go use sperm donor
Poster don't do it.
ReplyDeleteIf you are considering it talk to your husband about it & you both be in agreement. You can get donated sperm too but with him in the know
If Stella will permit me to share the name or contact of one of the best fertility hospitals in Abuja. I believe your case won’t be different from the others that smiled. Sometimes is just a few drugs you need to take after some tests and not IVF and you will be good to go.
ReplyDeletePlease don’t commit adultery for God and your husband’s sake. There’s nothing God cannot do.
The husbands Sperm has issues
DeleteStella has no problem with your sharing the name but don’t add website
Don't do it maybe your friend is interested in your husband ,pls discuss it with him and also adoption option so that he can decide for himself and what if divorce ?all these are better options than what your friends asked you to do pls ,hold your head high even under this unpleasant Condit ions
ReplyDeleteDon't do it maybe your friend is interested in your husband ,pls discuss it with him and also adoption option so that he can decide for himself and what if divorce ?all these are better options than what your friends asked you to do pls ,hold your head high even under this unpleasant Condit ions
ReplyDeleteYou will be thrown out of that husband's house if u are not careful.
ReplyDeleteIf u had married a mean, wicked husband, I would have said u should leave and find love and kid elsewhere. But u have married a good man who unfortunately has a problem that is not of his own doing.
My dear, did u marry for the sole purpose of having kids or because u love this man? Have u ever thought of adoption? There are so many kids out there looking for love and while waiting for God to bless u with one from ur womb, why not open ur heart to one from another womb???
That man does not deserve that harm you are thinking of causing him. I understand desperation is what is pushing those thoughts to u. Fight it.
A lot of people marry for the sole purpose of having kids not because they even like their spouse but we’re not ready for this conversation!
DeleteUntil he gets another woman pregnant and they blame her for his issues
DeleteStella please note 16:44 comment
DeleteReasons why Nigerians actually marry, love has nothing to do with it, some are strange marital unions
Some reasons outside love
Growing old
Biological clock ticking
Mother father preference
Tribal, religious reasons
Tired of eating bad food ( old bachelor's)
Loneliness
Yabbing from friends
Pressure outright threats from family
Belle
Financial,career, business reasons
Solidifying of old families tie
Class
Horniness
Bets (believe it or not)
Need for offspring
Nothing wrong with marrying for kids
DeleteAnon you are right, I married to have kids, never loved my husband. Good thing I didn't marry for love cos this man would have shattered my heart a million times...
DeleteGo and adopt, love that child with all your heart and soul indeed and see God show up. Even when you have your own biological children, treat that child as your beloved that called your children out for you. Most times, our tests in life is a shadow of the bigger pictures/purpose.
ReplyDeleteAm so sad reading this poster.i pray God grant you your heart desire.Alot of women are going through this as well.silently,they cry.
ReplyDeleteyou and hubby can go for adoption or surrogacy to get your mind off your worries for now.God hasn't forgotten you.pls continue praying and believing the one who created you.you shall carry your baby.lots of hugs dearie.🤗
Remove the candles from underneath your bed and watch the nightmares fade away.
ReplyDeleteAs for your plight, trust God with all your heart and He will never put you to shame.
Even at age 50, miracles still happen, just never give up.
Abort mission on adultery, even if it produces a child, you'll regret it for the rest of your life 🧬.
Sorry but why do we have a sperm bank again?
ReplyDeleteIf you don't want headache you can adopt but don't you ever scam that innocent man.
There are sperm donors and egg donors, people whose sperm or eggs aren't viable can use them, at least the child will have the DNA of one of the parents. Surrogacy is also an option, if the woman can't carry pregnancy for any reason, adoption is there as well, there are many options if people will open their minds and consider.
DeletePoster I understand the situation but first stop carrying the burden alone, I say this cos you kept saying (My Condition) your husband low sperm count is the issue here.
ReplyDeleteSince the drugs seem not to be working why not you both try the ivf again but this time you both should be opened to using a Sperm Donor instead and back it up with Faith.
You get this faith by genuinely knowing and loving God, put him first please and stop going to different churches and miracles center, they will only drain you financially and mentally.
As from your friend flee from her, the devil wants to use Her to confuse and lead you to the path of disgrace. Please don’t give up
can't you both choose a donor for AI (artificial insemination) or something? this seems like a case of low motility...aren't the fertility doctors presenting other options? Have you tried Bridge Clinic or St. Ives - barest minimum go online and get educated.
ReplyDeleteSee,madam i understand how you feel,like there is no hope but let me assure you today that the living God that i serve, will come through for you, please don't do it.
ReplyDeleteStay put with your husband and if you have to,please discuss it with your husband.
The best option is not to worry, it might be worry that is causing the delay,you never can tell.
God will bless your home and your womb in Jesus name. Amen
Poster, please don't allow the devil use you to destroy your marriage by having extra marital affair in order to conceive. I understand that time is no longer on your side, but remember that what God cannot do, doesn't exist. He can change your situation even when you least expect. However, you can opt for adoption if you so desire. It's far better than what you're considering doing. May God come through for you and your hubby.
ReplyDeleteDon't ever try it.
ReplyDeletePls join NSPPD mon-fri 7am-8am with faith and see God in action.you will testify ijn
ReplyDeleteAs your husband is taking the drugs, also put into consideration his diet and lifestyle.
ReplyDeletePoster, give yourself and your husband a break and go for adoption. Give your body a break as well. Like Stella said, you are at an age where there is an increased risk of birthing a child with Down syndrome. You also do not live abroad where this issue can be detected during early pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteStart the adoption process as soon as possible! You do not want to get older and realise that you should have done it earlier.
Chai
DeleteNaija hospital can detect downs
To add to Stella's red pen:
ReplyDelete1. please divorce your husband before you join the hookup geng. You cannot be practicing prostitution whilst answering "Mrs Saint Odinkemmere". That prostitution worked for your married friend doesn't mean it won't blow up in your own face. Rest assured we'd be here to read your sadly entertaining story when your adultery alarm blows. "Show me your friend and ..."
2. I have seen young women in their early 20s have babies with Down syndrome and older women in their late 40s and early 50s give birth to perfectly healthy babies. Janet Jackson had a healthy child at age 50 and another mama my family knows had a "miscellaneous" baby at age 56/57 after she already had two grandchildren. The boy is about 8/9 now and perfectly healthy. God can answer you at any age. He answered Sarah at what age again? No be who first quick born dey born healthy pikin and no be only those wey old born their pikin dey get problem.
3. The most reasonable solution right now is to use a surrogate or donor sperm. Your husband knows his medical condition is the issue so, convincing him to use donor sperm shouldn't be difficult. Another advantage is that the medical intervention he agreed to will always be on the records in case his family members start to display in future.
4. I'll tell you a quick story of a woman who tried what your friend is proposing. It was successful and the husband knew the child couldn't be his because of his condition. He used "otumokpor" to make her mad (so she can't divulge the secret) and had her committed. Dem say na Post-partum skoin skoin dey worry her and he dey pay her medical bills steady. In fact, he no gree remarry sef unto say him loff him wife too much to betray her. Her friend wey be Adviser nowamagbe (according to blog sisthren Aproko) wey be wan use microphone dey loud the matter collect amotekun warning say if she no wan go join her friend for where dem chain am put, make she off mic osiso.
A man who is involved in the surrogacy or IVF (with donor sperm) process and was perhaps even financially responsible for it knows he is the child's legal father even if they divorce tomorrow. On the other hand, a man who wasn't informed or involved has no stake in the long run should madam decide to up and leave with "her" child. No man wants to deal with that kind of depression at age 60 plus.
So, if IVF has failed (using his own sperm), you two should use a donor sperm next or adopt jeje. Leave magomago for Balabulu. May God direct your path and give you divine wisdom to do what's right. No be only people wey born pikin go enter heaven o.
Don’t cheat on your husband pls. This is so wrong. Why not discuss other options like using donor sperm via IUI or better still go for adoption. You don’t have to wait any longer.
ReplyDeleteThat friend that told you that is not a good friend and may blackmail you tomorrow over it, stay away from such friends.
Please discuss with your husband using donor sperm. The child will be yours formed from your own eggs and a different man's sperm. Better to use this option than cheating and it is much cheater than ivf. If your husband is so wonderful then making this suggestion to him should be easy
ReplyDeleteHi poster, I felt your pain because it was close to home. Please don't have a child that will hate you when he/she is grown. Before you take this decision think about the consequences that the future will bring. Marriage is forever partnership, it's more than bringing a child into the world.
ReplyDeleteDon’t listen to this
Deleteposter please do not be selfish here with your decision, your man is also worried and he want to have children. Your husband is a good man and gives you peace of mind as you have said. Sleeping with another man under his roof is cheating which no one will hear it and be happy with you.
ReplyDeleteDo not disgrace your family, do not spoil your name. if you want to try it then you should have an agreement with your husband on it before you do it or you are leave the marriage before doing that.
If your husband is the problem here why you are yet to conceive how comes the IVF failed? I don't think your husband is the only problem you have here else that IVF would have been a successful one. Which sperm count did the doctor used to carry out the IVF, was it from your husband or from the bank?
Madam if your husband was medically okay but you are the one with the fertility issue, would you be happy if he impregnate another lady outside your marriage? how will you feel if you find out that your husband has s child from another woman while you both are looking for solutions? Treat others the way you want them to treat you. I understand that age is not on your side, if your husband has low sperm count please you both should buy sperm and do an IVF with that it will give you both rest of mind.
Your friend is telling you stories and you want to jump into it cos you are desperate to have a child, when you will start having sleepless night that your friend will not be there to speak for you. You alone will face the shame, disappointment and name calling. She will even add more pepper to the wound all in the name of she is assisting you.
Lastly, never forget that your case is not that difficult for our God to handle, what is the issue that he cannot change. Women without womb are giving birth, women without ovary are having it grow back, you should connect your faith and let God gibe you a testimony. 52 years old woman gave back recently.
Lol you don’t understand the science
DeleteThe mans sperm has issues. Ivf is not 100% In taking care of that
This is not a popular opinion but trust me, it’s happening, and those who know, know.
ReplyDeletePoster, you must really love your husband to cover his shame and consider having kids with another man for him.
Now, if both of you love each other and have tried everything possible to have kids without success, and you can’t leave your husband because of his situation, and for the fear of his ego being rubbished by his mates and society, DISCUSS IT WITH HIM, but make sure he’s the one pushing for it.
Some men would encourage their wives to bring forth a child into their home. I have seen it happen.
He must agree with you and support you on that journey. Once that’s achieved, you find a guy who looks exactly like him, shower him with money, gifts if you’re generous and set out to woo him to your bed. Sex would only be when you’re ovulating and he must NOT know your game plan. You get pregnant, you curtail the communication and meet ups. Only you and your hubby know what you’re doing.
It's risky but very doable.
Side dude must not know otherwise he would refuse or if he finds out, would demand to see his child et al in years to come. So be very discrete, shut your mouth and don’t even tell any soul about it, even that your friend who suggested it. Otherwise she would be the one to rat you out when your friendship ends. Unfortunately women never ever keep their mouth shut….Una talk too much.
People are saying the friend is bad
DeleteIs it easy to tell your friend this type of thing
If she has a child with her husband she’ll use you to do testimony in church about how people tempted her with evil but she refused and God helped her
There are other alternatives in ivf like icsi where the best sperms are picked
ReplyDeleteIf you wont say Abuja is far,you could try primecare fertility. With boosting with fertimen, dr ese will try with God's blessings and its affordable, less than a million.
There is a lady that uses herbal means in Lagos to help cases like this. She is very exposed, travels all around the world. She also ships medication for infertility every where. She is price friendly and does not mix her own with jazz. If Stella wants me to drop her details here or email her, let me know. May God grant you your heart desires, may every woman that yearns to carry a baby do so.
ReplyDeleteContact mdpeoplesdoctor on Instagram. She's a fertility doctor with positive reviews.
ReplyDeleteYou can also look into sperm donation. Both of you can discuss it
ReplyDeletePoster so sorry for what are going through. Please stand with your hubby at this trying time.
ReplyDeleteHowever, low sperm count doesn't mean no count.
This is the time to love your Huby and play love with him.
You people should pray on your own and ask God for forgiveness. If there is anyone that is angry with you guys, ask for forgiveness in prayers. Let all the forces against you have mercy and let you guys be.
Now, face your sex life with reckless abandon. Remove mind for all those low sperm count matter and comot mind for your case of age too.
Infact, start dating that your hubby again. Lodge for hotel may you knack like you just meet am. Go on trips and have mad fun.
Comot mind for all your problems.
You go see result.
It has happened to someone I know. They had to leave Lagos and went to lodge in Enugu during Christmas. They flex life like shege.. Got back to Lagos by January and in 9 months time, we went visiting for a boy and girl Ana akpo ejima. 😂
Congratulations in advance.
Buy bum shorts and sexy wears for your trip oo. Go have fun!!
Poster please don't do it stop listening to that woman you called friend she is a wolf in human skin. God never forget nor forsake you , He is still on his throne doing wonders and I am sure He will surely do yours for you very soon Amen.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry dear. I waited for 6years then God visited me with twins. When my first IVF failed I was devastated however, when we tried again this time my approach was different. I praised God every midnight consistently for about a month, trusted God completely and we were successful on second attempt. God gave us beautiful twin girls. Please try again, maybe change hospital, I did.
ReplyDeleteFinally, you can be successful even with your husband having low sperm count. May God answer you like he did for me.
Please do not commit adultery. That's a very wrong approach. Please don't do it sis.
I pray God bless ur womb poster...m so happy for my sis inlaw,she just gave birth dis week,after 8yrs of waiting.....all praise to u God.
ReplyDeletePlease don't listen to dis enemie of God
ReplyDeleteThe way you people abandon God's law because of desire to marry or to have children is alarming
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to adoption? Alot of people who i know opted for adoption tell me they wish they had done it earlier. Pls let your peace not be taken by the lies and trouble of infidelity.
ReplyDelete