Hmm...
ANNOYING CHAT MESSAGE FROM BOO
First off, I am lady who hardly asks for things generally so, in my relationship I’m more like that.
I can literally count the number of times i have requested for help from my partner.
The way it works for me is, if I see a need, I go all out to do for him. Sometimes I don’t mind splitting bills to finance a need if I have the funds to as a way of support.
He is a great guy, gives when he has but there’s something he did recently which I wasn’t comfortable with.
I spend some time sometimes at his place to see him, and go home afterwards:
Max say when I work remotely, I work from his place since he does remote jobs too. 2-3 days.
I got a WhatsApp chat from him out of the blues, that from now on, I would be footing my transport fare going back to my house.
The bill to my house is #400/500
When he said I asked him how long has he been wanting to say this as he didn’t allow me get settled in before he shared that message with me.
Truly I don’t mind paying for that but I just don’t wanna come off as a straight independent person and just allow him do it since it’s just N 400/500 the fare cost to my house.
And it comes from a place of love, and we spent quality time together.
I felt off when he sent that message to me, as it didn’t come out right with me at all.
I expressed my thought but it’s hard taking my mind off this. We both work in a good place.
Was this action okay of him to have done?
*500 naira or you meant 5k? Please dont keep quiet about this cos i feel there is more to it and just the beginning....Find out why he chatted you up with that and then you can decide whether his action was OK or not
You hardly ask for anything, nos he has asked for something. Why you dey complain?
ReplyDeleteOmoh! Na I dey show you sign bell dey ring in front of ya nose poster.
DeleteIve read many cmoments below and I just don't understand the mindset of many Nigerian women.
DeletePlease what is the big deal in paying YOUR own transport home? You said he gives when he has. He is also a great guy. But he tells you to pay your transport of just N500 home and you write a Chronicle!
And to even think many people are supporting you is even more amazing.
Lord have mercy!!!
Abeg such a stingy man should be avoided
DeleteIt is N500 transport that she cannot afford , and yet she claims to have a good job.
DeleteShe is the red flag not the man. He should better run.
Poster are you sure he is comfortable you coming to spend days in his house? I don't understand how 500 naira is a problem for some one who works in a good place.
ReplyDeleteIt's not ok at all...
ReplyDeleteWhy will he send that massage?if he doesn't have occasionally, that's ok,but saying it outrightly is wrong,there should be a reason,he must have thought about it..
This is where the problem is
DeleteHe would have said it while you were there jokingly or even said, ahh “I don’t have cash on me” and that settles that but to send you a formal message for something which isn’t important…Sounds ridiculous
Push up (original)
It’s a red flag. Seems he is getting tired. Keep ur options open.
DeleteOga is tired of your visits. Take the cue and make yourself scarce.
ReplyDeleteSimply put. See finish is starting to set in.
DeleteSame here, if it's me, I'm not talking about anything with him, I'll just ghost him
DeleteI believe he is tired of your regular turn up at his place. People should learn to consciously create some measure boundaries, for self respect. No matter the type of relationship you share with someone.
DeletePerhaps he felt you are choking him, and already acting like the lady of the house.
Ebony no
DeleteIt’s a relationship
If two days is too much for him, then bye
Poster aka 19:36, it’s a relationship of 1 year, what else are you guys waiting for especially you’re both working and earning well; no be say you dey NYSC or looking for work. Is it just a sexual relationship? A man knows what he want. They’re more logical and don’t make decisions based on emotions like us women. So you just dey go him house for what exactly? No conversation on future plans? Better seriously give yourself some sense so you won’t waste your time on a man that’s not planning his future with you!
DeleteAunty he is not seeing you as part of him
DeleteAbeg run oo no look back
ReplyDeletePlease, in all you do, no gree o. Men usually test women with bullshit first to see how she will take it. If you refuse, he will never try it again. But if you mumu, you will never be able to ask him for anything.
ReplyDeletePlease and please, wisdom is profitable to direct o
😂😂😂😂@if you mumu 🤣🤣🤣 chai, poster, no 'mumu' oh
DeleteA man who loves you wouldn't say that. You claim he's a good man. You may not know how good a person is when you are in love. you take lots of shit unknown to you.
ReplyDeleteI think he doesn't want you around hence the strategy. My two cents though
If you ask Nigerian women what their definition of good man is ehn, you will LAUGH.
DeleteYou know when you are so you used to receiving trash, expectations are 6ft low.
Did Bella not say Segun is a good man? Being a "good man" I'd obviously relative. To the poster, your good man is tired of your visits and has started counting how much he spends on your transportation.
DeleteWait fess o, you go visit your man for some quality time and he starts complaining about 400/500 tfare? 🤦♀🤦♀🤦♀
This is part of being independent now transport fare he no wan give. Tell him how you feel.
ReplyDeleteWhy should he even give tfare. Don't they both enjoy each other company. Why should a single working woman be dependent on her fiance for tfare. Reminds of that insulting post by the Ghanaian artiste that relationship with a Nigerian woman is like taking care of an orphan.
DeleteNigerian women seeking respect from their men in relationships should think being co-dependents instead of seeking to be dependent on the men.
The issue here is not the tfare. It is the state of the relationship. Poster need to really review the relationship.
Hmmm so I will advise from two sides right? I think you should start working from your house for now...You might be becoming too available and being in his face (just saying) there are some people that function better when they are on their own. Then since it is 400 - 500 naira, continue paying your transport costs, then watch him too if he will ever offer to pay your transport...Sometimes it's good these things happen so you know the kind person you are in a relationship with.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I know that if a guy is into you, he will always want to give right and make you comfortable at all times...The timing is wrong and the manner he communicated it was not the best way. I will advise you have a conversation with him...He might be going through a financial rough patch (just thinking). So, when both of you are in a happy mood and maybe hang out, please raise these concerns and hear what he has to say; also focus on his body language as well...Once you hear yourselves out, decide what your actions will be...Ask God for a discerning spirit to make a decision...
Marriage is all about the character of a person not just love, finance, compatibility levels e.t.c....All the best..
Well whatever you do poster, don't waste your time beating a dead horse. The more time you waste, the worse you will feel if things go haywire. Hopefully things turn out fine for you.
DeleteCould it be the beginning of the end? But he isn't saying it straight.
ReplyDeleteWhen you claim to love someone don't be mean, just say the what the root of your issue is at once so that both of you can resolve it quickly and get back to being kind to each other.
Just ask him to tell you exactly what the trigger for such message is.
Ask him if he still loves you.
Ask him if he still sees you in his future.
Avoid the petty fights. Encourage him to speak his true thoughts. After 1 year you should be treating your significant other with so much intention and care if you still see them in your future and they should know it.
Now don't keep all your eggs in one basket. Have other options (guys who love you).
Go where the live and respect is.
Why not she leaves instead of putting more eggs in her basket?
DeleteWhy does it appears okay for the one person to have more eggs in her basket and not okay for the other party?
They are not date partners in the strict sense of the word. They are courting, which does not allow for more than one egg in the courting basket.
When the man finds about the other eggs what is likely to happen?
Would Poster's gathering of more eggs not give the man an alibi or befog Poster's sense of judgment.
Ask him this, ask him that you think he's going to tell her the truth? poster give him space if he comes around fine if not face front
DeleteHate or like it there are some other men who are showing interest in you as a woman. Yes be friends with (some of them) and begin to reciprocate the gestures when in a situation like this. It helps for easy transition and quicker balance. Notice I didn't say she should engage in two timing. You always know in yout heart who take the No 1 position. Swap it when you have to.
DeleteYes she needs to ask like a mature woman and take the bull by the horn. She makes a solid decision based on the truth which she will find out (spoken/body language) without looking back as there is no uncertainty to deal with.
Skedaddle as far as your legs can carry you
ReplyDeleteA red flag for me. I'll run if I were you
ReplyDelete"we spent quality time together" means you gbenshed. And he doesnt want to pay T-fare? Na wa for that your guy o. OP, please dump him and move on with you life.
ReplyDeleteAll quality time together with a woman is gbenshing?
DeleteSounds as if the only quality value a woman gives to a man is gbensh. Maybe this why some men regard their wives less in marriage? After all only gbensh she brings, and there's gbensh aplenty outside.
However, raising of tfare issue by message after 1 year of time together shows that they have not been spending quality time together. Or maybe the guy believes they are already very free with each other.
It's like he has started following Shola
ReplyDeleteWho is Shola again?🤣🤣🤣😂
Delete😂 😂 😂 😂 😂
DeleteE be like say una no dey twitter oh
DeleteI wanted to type my thoughts but I don't know where to start from and I don't know if you can handle it because I am viciously brutal.
ReplyDeleteNo time to sugar coat anything...
Anyway, when I guy wants to get rid of you, this is usually how he starts.
Let me leave it like this.
They start this way or ghost you straight up
DeleteMaybe your brutality would wake her up.
DeleteExactly 15:58 & Shooter Gyal
DeleteLittle things does reveal the character of an individual, these are pointers. I believe if he loves you and a good man as you claim paying transport fare or not will not even come to mind, a lover should be glad to have the company of his beloved and naturally take care of the transport fare, when he lacks enough money he will freely communicate it too. Telling to pay you TP fare may be a subtle way to minimize you coming to his place, I think you should discuss this with him and see his reaction, if he will try to place smart or deny his real intention, this will inform your decisions henceforth.
ReplyDeleteYou need to have a conversation with him,let him know how you feel,then you can make your conclusion.
ReplyDeleteIf you two are doing well and he is a husband material, let him wife you. Instead of focusing on the issue of transport fare ask him about the relationship, where it will lead to, start planning towards moving in permanently as husband and wife. I mean it's been a year.
ReplyDeleteYou are clearly seeing a MASSIVE red flag the size of an army blanket, you've saying he should wife her.
DeleteThat is all you people know upstairs, that is your only solution to everything completely empty and bereft.
He is tired of you and wants out. My advice, breakup with him first before he does. Your breakfast will be less painful, if you trash him first. 500 naira 😂😂😂😂. Always remember, that you are a queen and adjust that crown, girl.
ReplyDeleteStella some kind chronicles no suppose Dey reach here I swear.There are real issues that people can learn from and contribute to.no be 400/500 naira issue
ReplyDeleteThe issue is not the 500tfare.
DeleteSomething is awry in the relationship. Poster has not seen it or has refused to see it.
The no more tfare is a wake-up call.
You're suffocating him with your presence when you're not yet his wife! Work from your house, if the love is mutual you will find out.
ReplyDeleteTalk to him
ReplyDeleteThese days people are so confused with all this advice of not letting people take advantage of you. Maybe he started overthinking it and it led to the stupid request. If you discuss with him and he doesn’t get it or refuses to see reason, I’m sorry you may have to move on
Anyone who has the mind to talk to me me about 500 Naira hmmm
Nigerian girls and BEGGING. And feeling entitled to someone else’s money!!!! Can’t you people be in a relationship and not “ask for help”. Na only naija girls dey get financial problem. Terrible! So now it’s TFare that you feel ENTITLED to? You people are just low key ashewos. Money for hand back for ground.
ReplyDeleteOde!
DeleteI am sure now you feel better after spewing your hatred for Nigerian women. Well done. Continue.
DeleteWhen Nigerian women see truth they will never accept especially when it affects their entitled brains
DeleteShe didn’t beg him
Deletedude is looking to stir the hornets nest and end it all after a major fight.
ReplyDeleteHe expects you to fight him on this ..its his grand excuse for a grand exit
Poster IMO your guy needs space. You're becoming too available,pls give him space.
ReplyDeleteSee finish! If you ask me. How much is 500 even if he’s a brick layer.
ReplyDeleteFor me that would be the last time I would set foot in his house.
Be scarce. If he wants to see you, tell him you don't have TP, if he offers to pay, rub the WhatsApp message in his face. Una no dey Sabi find trouble? Stop behaving like a mumu. Be doing like zombie.
ReplyDeleteAunty, you are becoming too common to him..
ReplyDeleteWe move
Asking him again will further provoke him, so don't ask whatever his reason is/are.
ReplyDeleteHere's what I think you should do.
1) stop telling yourself he's amazing cos you don't know him yet.
2) Work from anywhere else in the world but not his place nomatter how condusive you think it is.
3) reduce how often you call/ visit him.(I'M LOUDING THE MIC ON THIS)
Use work busy schedules or anything else as your excuse if he ask. LASTLY!
...Allow him to decide if it's you he wants to be with or not.
True words!
DeleteMy problem with most women is, they are quick to call a guy 'wonderful' 'great' 'everything I want in a man' 'treats me well' etc.
Women can lie to themselves and i don't know why.
Always be honest to yourself. Every time!
If the guy is truly what you described, there is no way he will send you such a message.
And yes, you can't say you are shocked!
He gave you cold shoulders the last time you were with him, he has been giving you cues you decided to ignore.
How do you stay with a man that isn't your husband twice a week in the name of work from home?
Have some dignity. Availability wont make this man marry you.
It doesn't work that way at all.
Sad to say, he does not want you. He just doesn't!.
Dry your tears and I pray you find someone that WANTS YOU, not a guy you want.
Always agree to date men that truly want you, not the sex or the fact that you are miss independent.
Stop wasting time with men you like. Rather date men that want you!
A man that wants you as a person no jara on top.
But please, date with dignity.
Take care. (I had to be harsh to get some jolt into you)
18:24 on point!
Delete400 naira????? Buahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
My dear even someone without eyes can read the writing.
If you do strong head and force it, u go c shege.
Poster are you a learner??? You are seeing a big RED FLAG and you are here writing this. My dear e don cast LAST LAST this man will serve you hot breakfast! RUN OOOO.
ReplyDeletePoster, you never see your own man! Fellow Bvs, should poster Waka or stay? My answer is WAKA👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠👠
ReplyDeleteNa less than 2dollar naim you dey allow guy dey disrespect you😠😠😠 can't you stay in your own house?
ReplyDeleteJeez. Ignore the petty bf and move on, love is all about giving, you can't claim to love someone and not give her common 500naira for transport.
You dey mind her. Common sense she no have. she’s saying it’s only two days. I’m sure weekend is also part of it; When you guys are not even married yet. He probably sees you as a clingy lady. Sometimes those two days at home, one need just that time to him or herself because next day, you go dey deal with traffic and stress of work, boss and coworkers. Give him space. Men especially need their space, or anyone that need that personal space to themselves. Start saving that transport money(from your own pocket) towards your own car.
DeleteOn the other hand, he’s not all that into you. If it’s just two days and he’s already complaining of transport fare, then all is not really well. A guy that genuinely loves you, will look forward to seeing you and spending time with you no issues (unless he’s struggling financially). I’m the same anon that mentioned using your sense and saving money towards your car. Discuss with him and based on his feedback/reaction, make your decision from there. Sha start detaching from him small small so you go get emotional/physical strength to handle the break up. So e no go shock you too much.
DeletePoster return his house key without telling him, stop visiting like you do. Start forming too busy to call, chat or visit him.
ReplyDeleteOga need to give his spare key to egusi soup, he is tired of uha soup. Stop asking him for Money to pay tfare just avoid him and stay in your house.
This guy is not a good man with what you wrote up there.
Hr is tired of your constant visit, ake your self scarce, allow him to reach out. But in all honesty i would say he is not the one for you.
ReplyDeleteSorry o. I just wantu laff in a way that wont offend God. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteE dey write text untop of 500 naira 🤣🤣🤣🤣
250 naira to go, 250 naira to come.
Boya you wii pay half, then he pays the other half. After all there is love in sharing.🤷♀️ 🤣🤣🤣Gbefu. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
You’re an independent lady, yet you can’t pay your tfare to your house, you allow a man insult you because of 500 naira. Shame on you.
ReplyDeleteChai
DeleteIf he told you that without any context added in then hmmmmmm. If he just tired of your visits and wants his space back then he likely has no desire to see you in a marriage seven days a week if he cannot handle seeing you twice a week. If your visits meant everything to him no amount of money would matter for him to see you, he would move heaven and earth. Maybe he has someone else he is more interested in or he is simply tired of you in his space. You cannot s€x a man into keeping you, as a matter of fact once you start sleeping with him that is when you lose your mystery if there is nothing else connecting you other than your bodies.
ReplyDeleteHe wants his money and his space, it is for you to decide how far you will go for this "nice guy"
Work from your home not his....red flag don't ignore.
ReplyDelete