Hmmm....
THE BETRAYAL
I am a frustrated housewife seeking for advice.
I have been married for 18years with 3 girls.my husband loves and cherishes his family.
Some days ago, I discovered some land documents in which my husband filled in a name of a boy as his son to inherit his properties.
I was dumbfounded. how can my husband have a child outside our matrimonial home and I never knew all these years married to him.
I was able to unlock his phone through the help of my last daughter whom he often gives to play games.
I was shocked to see pictures of a boy of 7years and a girl of 5years.my husband's phone is always on password and there hasn't been room for suspicions since I got married to him as he was always free to receive and make calls around me.
I have worked so hard with my husband, now that he is successful He wants to give these properties to children I know nothing about. what happens to my girls?
This is betrayal. i think I want to get rid of this man and destroy those documents so there wouldn't be any evidence.
Get rid of as in delete him ?JESUS OOOO , see where your mind went to because of landed properties? You suffered with him how? Were you the one that got the money for the investments or you mean you were married to him when God blessed him?
What he hs done is wrong and i suggest you confront him than carry out your evil plan.... Women, i fear who no fear women!
Why get rid of him? Please don't go that route. Kindly tell him what you know, let him know that your daughters will not be left empty handed too. You can also go on with the divorce.
ReplyDeletePlease take a deep breath, if possible travel, pls do not stain your hands for property, you wont find peace, it will hunt you. Is the property worth your peace, if you can endure it, stay and let your girls get good education or business set up. Look for ways to start earning your own money or start saving by making demands, tell him to increase food allowances that things are costly. Find positive ways out of this situation, make lemonade from this, pls dont stain your hands with blood bcos of property. Do you know if he has another property for your girls somewhere. Pls dont let those girls loss their daddy, they wont forgive you. Just set plan B, how to provide an inheritance for your girls if not through their father, then tro u
DeletePlease do not kill him o
DeleteIt’s not worth it
Just start collecting money from
him as much as you can, bring various excuses
Don’t get angry o, just start saving
If possible sell something’s and save the money.
He has secured properties for his kids it’s time you do so for yours.
He obviously wasn’t in the same partnership as you were so it’s time to use your head
No man is worth going to jail for.
Push up (original)
I agree with anonymous 15:43.
DeletePlan for your girls. And it is safe to say you can do it outside him. He doesn't need to know.
When you advice some women to make their own money and upgrade themselves/earning capacity in marriage, they will tell you that they are raising their kids. He is obviously a wicked man and now that you know, insist that an education account be opened and funded for your kids to ensure they can finish school up to University. Let him not be a signatory to the account o. Start saving money and buy a land in your name and write your own will for your daughters to inherit the land or buy it in their names and build a house on it, even if it's a bungalow because he may have used his son's name as his next of kin and beneficiary of his pension and gratuity as well. Let the anger drive you to start a business if you have nothing generating money for you at the moment. All the best
DeleteTeam -I -do- not- snoop, my man is more honest than an angel, what do you have to say. If you like don't shine your eye and be smart and proactive, dem go use you cook soup, you sef go wash hand chop.
DeleteBet it with me, that everyone in that mans family knows what's up. Na only you know no wetin dey.
Aunty, no delete anybody o.
People often keep copies of their will with a trusted friend/relative especially the person they make the executor of the will, so asides their lawyer, someone else also have a copy of the will. Dr O.
DeleteDon't kill, inform your parents and hear from them. Tell him that you want ivf for a baby boy and hear what he will say.
DeleteIt depends on how you confront him. Men can be wuked.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
ReplyDeleteYes You ve been scorned but Hope you are very aware of the possible consequences of your actions and ready to bear them.
To me it’s not worth it.
Please do not commit murder, and if you destroy the copies of the documents in the house, he might have other copies else where. I will advice you confront him and you both can sort things out.Nigerians abi na Africans with this crazy gender descrimination.
ReplyDeleteGet rid of him and stay in jail for life and eopardize the life of your children.
ReplyDeleteHope you snapped those documents or transferred them to another phone. If yes. Confront him with evidence. Ask him to change the documents of the investment you have together to your name or let the documents bear Mr. Cc and Mrs JC jakki. Please don't agree on Mr. And Mrs in any of the documents.
Henceforth start saving for your Children. Start doing personal investments for them because anything can happen tomorrow.
Nigerian men believe them when they say they don't mind you having all girls for them at your peril. I always tell young wives to go for ivf gender selection to have a boy after trying for boys without success. Bcoz our naija men are deceptive. They will tell u "they're o.k.with only girls child" they will say" all gender are equal no difference" but once u hit menopause without giving them an heir to their "throne" they will zoom off to impregnate another lady that will give them male child.
ReplyDeleteAnd as for u madam posters, when they tell u people to always be vigilant and Snoop unah say mbanu,now u see yourself? I trust my husband no be say i no go snoop or be woke in the Marriage. You snooze you're left behind. Epele ma,pls take heart. Don't commit murder bcoz of wordly possessions.
Your husband has another family out there, and has made his son the heir. Not fair on your daughters, but then what's done is done. He won't agree to replace the boy's name, what he can do is to add his daughters to his will. He loves his family but love wasn't enough. Work for your kids henceforth, they will get better husband a and won't need to drag property with the other family.
ReplyDeleteNo! He doesn’t love his family
DeleteLove doesn’t hurt, betray and humiliate you, it doesn’t leave you vulnerable.
If a woman had another child for her husband or had another husband outside, would we claim she loves her family too.
Dear poster, just take what you can and bounce, sell off what you can then confront him.
If you both can move on from that, fine, if not everyone should go their way
Push up ( original)
Let all hell loose. For every property to those children, you must see same for your girls. It’s the boys mum that pressuring him for settlement. Second wives too like fight. What is they will marry rich husband???. The boy no go see rich wife marry?. Abegi. Let all he’ll break loose. Your daughters deserve to know that their loving father do not see them worthy of an inheritance. They don’t deserve to be shocked at death. He can’t eat his cake and have it. No oooo
DeleteGod bless you anon, seriously some men are heartless .
Delete"I think I want to get rid of this man and destroy those documents so there wouldn't be any evidence".
ReplyDeletePoster, please don't even go there. You have no right whatsoever to take the life you didn't create. You feel betrayed, but don't let this lead you into doing something you will later regret doing.
I’m sorry sister
ReplyDeletePlease do not act out of anger. Take time and process everything. Do not do what you will regret. Getting ride of him is NOT the beet.
DeleteThat’s how one was deleted by a female lawyer wife that year.
ReplyDeleteHmm Poster this is very painful but please it does not have to involve killing him or destroying the documents...Confront him so you can get the truth of the matter...You can also start working hard and invest in solid investments for your daughters too...This is so sad but you need to be calm to plan the best strategies...All the best...
ReplyDeleteThis is so painful. Betrayal from a loved one is the most painful. Even in the western world, when a woman lives this long married to a man, at divorce, it's believed they built together and that's true.
ReplyDeleteIf you take him out, you're for ever going to remain a murderer. Divorce him if you may while seeking equal share of the properties.
In the alternative, try getting hold of the documents as your bargaining cards while planing your exit.
I can't imagine the hurt and heart break.
Take care.
Thou shall not kill; what shall it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul in hell fire. My dear,why not plan an exit. Gather as much as you can and leave rather than deleting him.
ReplyDeletePlease don't soak your hands with blood,I understand your pains but it's not worth it, don't confront him yet have a plan b and give him a shocker, give him a revenge that will be more painful than death
ReplyDeleteExactly my thoughts! Sell everything and relocate with your girls abroad. Don't confront him start your revenge plans now. I mean everything including his son's inheritance.
DeleteVery wicked of him,why disinherit his daughters, you have a secret family As if that's not enough you willed everything to one child,nawa o I fear who no fear men.madam just calm down don't take any decision now ,you are still very upset, when you are calm pray and ask God to direct you on what to do
ReplyDeleteSee how you want to destroy the lives of your daughters because of properties that when you pray well,your daughters will give you more than your husband's property, that if anything happens to him, his family will not allow you enjoy it because you have all girls.
ReplyDeleteMadam,relax,God has a way of blessing all of us at the right time,do not let your hands be stained with the blood of a man that you didn't create.
Relax and let God.
Very true. Especially if you are married only under native law and custom. Even if married under the Act, you will stay in court long time to get the properties.
DeleteMay God help women. What kind of pain is this?
ReplyDeletePoster, trust me, if u kill that man, u will be caught and u will be sent to jail and u will ruin ur kids life forever.
I’m sure people will give u the best advice on how to treat this issue.
I can only express my sympathy that u ended up marrying a monster for a husband
Eka Joy8 December 2022 at 15:19
DeleteWatch war room pls. Fast and pray as well. Don't let the devil ruin ur home. Dyu have pot belly, pls start going to the gym and maybe she will change"
The above is your comment from the chronicle of the man who found out his wife was cheating with their landlord. What changed today? Oh, now you understand how deep betrayal cuts because it's a woman involved. I won't say more, cos if I tell you my mind Big Stellz would use my comment to prepare lemon tea for cold..
I only brought this cos some days back I was thought to be the one gaslighting people when it's just these people making evil comments and then turning around to play victims..
@poster..
I'm so sorry you are going through this, I for one hate lies and deceit.. to add up to other good advices here, I'll beg you to be more logical than emotional in whatever decision you take, you're free to leave him, that's what I'll advise any female close to me to do, cos staying would still cause resentment, before you go poison am one day, plus you sef e go dey affect your health,.
However I don't know your financial situation, so first, bring everything on board, negotiate for your daughters, let him state what and what he'll be giving them, you can involve family and lawyer in this, then you can begin to plan on setting your self up financially if you're not, for your exist plan...
However, if you want to stay back, you must be ready to forgive him of this act totally oh.. your reason for staying shouldn't be cos you 'suffered' for him, (I don't know what that means tho), but that one is not enough, put your mental health, peace and happiness first..
Some people sha, if me I betray someone this way and the person finds out, na me by myself go run commot from the relationship, I'll never believe one can forgive such Shii cos me I can't forgive such..
What's so hard in being straight and honest,..."iyawo, I'm sorry, I'm under pressure to have a son, I'm sorry, I want to try with someone else, I'm sorry, my mind is made up about it, if you want to stay it's fine, think and let's reach an understanding of what your condition are so we can negotiate, and if you don't want to stay, I understand, when you're ready, we can talk about how to separate too."
This is what being honourable is all about, you'll say you don't want to hurt someone with the truth and then you begin to do an evil that would kill the person when it eventually comes out which it would definitely. When it comes to secrets, hurts and dark past etc etc, the earlier you open up, the better..
Blessings
Na wa sha. Na wa
DeleteDante, your comment is the best I have read so far on this Chronicle. Poster, please read this comment over and over again, it will help you make a decision. All za best
DeleteDante, I wrote here in the morning that your comments are mostly fair. I repeat it again after reading your advice to the Poster. I hope she read it well. Sum, Poster, negotiate for your daughters firmly and peacebly. If your husband has any conscience, he will bow and respect or fear you going forward.
DeleteBut if you kill him, hope you will admit when his family and the other woman point you out. Please do not turn it then to "Nigerian society hates women campaign". Chest out and say the reason you killed him so other men can learn.
21:46
DeleteIf he does darling, he killed himself.
You men think you have monopoly of madness.
We will show you how far.
And trust me, no one will know. 🙂
21.46
DeleteNa these oversabi they make Una suffer.. you don't know anything but you think you know.. shebi na why men do dey mess Una lives up as baby mamas, Una dey first think say na wisdom only to learn later that it's the worse decision of your life, you guys only think of now now now forgetting tomorrow.. don't worry, continue.. keep up the 'good' work..
Your body go tell you soon✌️
@ Dante, Eka Joy was being sarcastic with that war room comment, I don't know if you were on this blog when 'war room' was trending, any case of cheating, wives were advised to watch war room,watch their weight etc, so she was simply throwing what they advised women back at him. Your advice to the poster makes sense sha.
DeleteSo Because of property you want to kill your husband. Tufiakwa Men be very careful o shey you all are seeing. I am very sure not a pin of your money was added to what he used in buying the properties.
ReplyDeleteEven though her pin is not in the money he used in getting those properties,are those girls not his daughters why cut them off his properties...I am sure you are a monster just like the man... Sis I'd advice you to breath,pls dont take someone else's life it's not good ooo no matter the wrong they did!
DeleteAnon, someone who was by your side when you acquired those things deserves a portion, just like Wendy Williams' ex husband was awarded monthly payments as alimony. That man is wicked and old school, people now settle both their sons and daughters so this thing he did is nonsense, just breeding division and chaos among his children.
DeletePoster, how financially empowered are you? My advise is find a way to set up your daughters with investments in their names, so they won't even be interested in his own. As for staying or leaving, check the pros and cons and decide which is best for you, remove murder from your mind abeg, no road dat side
@16:17
DeleteYour comment is very correct on benefitting sons and daughters equitably if not equally. No case on that.
But leave the Oyibo analogy. How many women here will allow their husbands assert a claim in properties acquired by them (the women) during marriage. What were the nature of comments by female Bvs last time on Wendy Williams' ex-husband's claims?
Anon 21:57, people commented that Wendy Williams is sick and unable to earn in order to continue the payments and that it's really shameful that a man that produced a show with her for over 20 years didn't have a back up plan other than monthly alimony payments for his longtime mistress and their daughter.
DeleteIn other words, if all is well with Wendy, the man deserves the payments in lieu of salary cos he put in over 20 years working with her. I repeat, someone who was by your side when you acquired wealth and properties deserves to be considered and duly settled whether the marriage works out or not.
I don't like Dante but scroll up and see his comment on this issue, that is what the man should have done, go ahead and have make children if you must but settle your daughters and their mother as nobody likes being taken for a fool.
Chai... This is painful o. Please don't kill him, you'd ruin the life of your girls. Stop for a moment and think of a game plan that you'll act on
ReplyDeleteSteal him dry and run. Plan carefully, he does not deserve you.
ReplyDeleteIya Nimi
I can only imagine your pain,I trust you will get a good advice here . please don't stain your hands with his blood,is not worth it
ReplyDeleteI know what your hubby did was very bad.but killing him is wrong.i understand how you feel, after years of marriage with him,he decided to Will his properties to a child from another woman.this is so wrong.pls have a conversation with your hubby and report him to his family.its well with your home poster.
ReplyDeleteAwww,I am so sorry about your ordeal ma'am,the sharp cut of betrayal is very deep,no need to harm the father of your kids,go and see a lawyer,he/she will put you through the procedures.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to say let me perch and read the comments
ReplyDeleteMy darling..... it's good now you know the truth,and no killing him won't bring justice....if there's anywhere the documents could be manipulated as in changing names involved to your daughters I will do it instead.
ReplyDeleteGo and kill him! Ekpa!!! Because you are the person that created him. Na so Pastor Ayo wife boast enter problem so; ministry that late Mama Stella worked for , now Helen come Dey boast up and down for. My dear, you women in Nigeria have poverty mentality, firstly your husband is not your father. My both parents owned properties and left behind for us. Nigerian women please let your parents give you people good foundation, so you don’t go about killing people’s sons. You suffered with him, so what? I don’t have any sympathy for you, because the man decoded your greed , hence this treatment. Get a divorce and move on with your life. As he Dey work Dey buy him own property, you for work your own. I don’t even trust your story of suffering with him ; because if we hear the real truth, now only kpekus you carry come! Anuofia.
ReplyDeleteAnother wicked excuse of a man spotted. Let’s say the woman is the devil you have painted her to be, their kids nko????
DeleteNa u gangan be anuofia.
People like you that think you have strong head, No women like us dey kill you
DeletePoints made. What was the suffering? Very ambiguous statement. Absolutely no justification to kill the man. That was her first thought!
DeleteThe other day, Bvs questioned a husband why he had the thought of beating his wife for alleged cheating.
Here this woman wants to kill her husband for alleged cheating. Yes, the root of all her complaints is cheating.
Your anger is valid. So all your years of toiling you and your girls will be on the streets if he dies? Or will the home you currently live in pass to you and them? Sister, please forget doing anything diabolical. It ain't worth it!
ReplyDeleteIf you have the means please consult with a family lawyer. Let them do a check of all assets registered under his name so you know what you are working with. Start stockpiling cash. When you are calm, please broach the subject about inheritance for the girls and ask him what he has put in place for them and hear what he says. If he asks why you asking, telking lots of adults dropping dead all of a sudden and you want to make sure the girls are secured.
Snoopers be finding out stuff that the 'trusting and having faith' not revealing. Y'all better know where you stand in your spouses life, the wickedness of men is too damn much.
Why have you all interpreted "get rid of him" as murder? Poster is hurt and angry. The feeling of betrayal is the worst ever.
ReplyDeletePoster calm down and don't do anything in this frame of mind. Be logical and act rationally. Consult a legal practitioner for advice, speak to a trusted friend or family member. Do you have access to your joint accounts? Speak to your family banker and plan accordingly.
Act wisely and move in silence. You will be OK.
Words are understood within the context they're being used..
DeleteWe can be joking about some nasty stuff and I call you ashawo, you'll understand it to mean I'm teasing you..
But if we're arguing and I said the ashawo out of anger, you'll understand that I'm insulting you..
"To get rid of him" in the context it was used is obvious, even Steve Wonder can see it
17:39,
DeleteThere is nothing mysterious "about get rid of him" as used in the chronicle. The key is "burning of the documents"
If she divorce him and burn the documents, would he not make another Will or written transfer or get certified true copies of any registered document from the registry?
Chai.... Well I don't think this poster really meant to kill him like, she is just very hurt, felt betrayed and very angry. Poster please I know you are not thinking straight right now but please do no let your emotions take over control you. I don't know whether you might have come across some chronicles like this where some women calm down and act smartly. This is not the matter of gra gra but calm down ,think and act smartly and believe me you gonna win at the end without staining your hands with his blood. Wish you luck.
ReplyDeleteAnd no sarcasm today.
ReplyDeleteWomen hurt. Men hurt. Children hurt. We all hurt because we are human before our gender and age.
Let us all bear that in mind always.
Mr. Mann
So sorry dear, The truth is that I will rather scatter everything than watching another woman enjoying my sweat.
ReplyDeletePoster you should not kill your husband no matter what he has done to you. You should plan your japa plans without him knowing you are going to walk out of that marriage. How can a man love his family and disinherit them from his property.
ReplyDeletePlan your japa by involving him, he should relocate you and the girls, when you get there just delete his number and face front.
Her statement is not ambiguous within the context it was used. Do not kill him. Many assume she will get caught but there is no forensic tech to investigate most non obvious homicides in Naija. I suspect that many homicides are being passed off as “accidents”, or “died in the sleep”, or “hit by a drunk driver” etc. I read about a prominent guy that died a few days ago. Tucked away in the comment section of another blog was an anonymous comment that his divorce was finalized the day before he got knocked down on a bicycle. He headed the largest capital management firm. Yet all the comments were just condolences. After living a mostly devalued (by bad governance) life in Naija, if you offend someone & they kill you or order a non-gun hit on you the system isn’t designed to figure it out or bring the offender to justice no matter how rich you are. Many murderers are the chief mourners because the system does not investigate the obvious!
ReplyDeleteYour daughters are not hopeless & I get your feeling of betrayal. Do not let anger turn into murder (be angry but sin not). Start working hard with a purpose. Leave that marriage before you kill him. You already did in your heart. Talk to him about the difficult topic of inheritance. Many Naija men have at least one kid outside their home, it’s a sad fact. That your nice guy may have a kid you do not know about. This here, is the reason many men keep it secret. Some men like to mess things up after their death. A reason the elderly sons of one of the greatest lawyers do not speak to each other after his death & a minister in the 60s still has grandkids in court over property!
Elon the richest man has only a house in his portfolio, there is so much more to life, assets than landed property, that climate change can destroy through flooding (God forbid) to commit murder.
Finally please let us fix Naija, develop forensic tech & stop taking deaths at face value. The obvious may not be the factual. That a hit & run drunk killed someone or he/she died in the sleep is investigated in the west to see if the “drunk driver” is an assassin or the “died in sleep” was via a blood clot or poisoning. I feel there is a lot of blood crying against the land? He may also be suspecting that you CAN murder, could have told a friend & if you go ahead, you will never have peace even if you get a hold of the properties for your kids. Remember you are fighting a stupid misogynistic mindset not just a man. Pick your battles & leave.
This is a lesson to women who have only female children and then believe that their husbands are comfortable. Receive sense and ask him for IVF if you have the money. He may be supportive but very easy to yeild to advice outside the marriage.
ReplyDelete