Sisi Senaponi's Corner - Midlife Crisis And Others

Hehehehe

 

Kpoi! Kpoi! Kpoi! Na who dey we Sdk yard e?!

Stellamacho-santana! How dey feriferah?! I hail o!


I dey my customer area, I say mah stop and greet her.

Her Ada don wed, but she nor too dey visit like that Even though na still this same Nigeria she sef dey!

I say so how she dey take hol boredom?

She say na her husband be her Taataa now!

Taataa as how?! He still dey find bwess wey nor dey obey gravity?! *sideeyes*

She say that one for good, but wetin dey do am now, don pass wetin gravity wan uphold!

The husband begin exhibit midlife crisis at over 60! He begin dey buy Skinny Jeans on top Polo and Face cap!

I say ontop that im aligator pointed shoe?!

She say Mba, be like he been befriend one Aunty wey her name be Nike.
As na every thing he carry come house na her name dem put even as sales gini gwanu!

*Sideeyes*...

I say abi mah recommend one bros gee you, him name na Thomas, but na im finger wey nor dey gree stay one place, dey cause problem!

He thief pass anything!

But now ehn, Na Bros ADI dey reign we side! DAS a husband material full length with lining! *popsgum!*


She say Tufia! She nor reason any man since 18years old wey she marry her Golden Husband! I say me sef jor dey play o...na play o! *sideeyes!*


*Make Adi nor go hang her leg for where we nor know o!
*Na hose Mosquito for cell dey use suck blood abeg!*

I say so as Aunty Nike the designer marketer, don rub your husband 'touch and be foolish' for head na!
No be pension money i see dey fly comot, ontop okada wey wear bone straight so?!


She say he nor dey gree do like him age!

I say, shey man dey get age?! Na time man get o! Nor be age like woman! *Hian!*

My customer go do omugwo for her daughter, na from police station person call her say dem arrest her husband!*anevasi!*


Na her Son-in-law drive her come Mainland, wey police say her Husband dey follow Achawo kworeh!

Na wetin cors kworeh?!

Achawo follow him dance finish for club, she wan follow am come house or go hotel! *aggressive Marketing!*

Na so he refuse say e nor dey do! Nice meeting you! Kiiikiikiii...God abeg e!

Achawo wey don calculate say money dey im hand, begin form say he must to pay her for the dancing time!

He sef say the achawo go pay am, for the torsh torsh wey she dey torshlight him body!

He say Aftoroh, he make sure say he nor touch her body at all!
*kiikiikii...cunny man die...wise man wake am'!


The thing vex the Achawo say, na bad market be this o! And she don lose other potential customers! Na so she turn am to another thing, wey land dem for station!

My customer say, as if the one wey she go face for her daughter house never do!

I say wetin be that?!

She say her Son-in-law dey smoke pass chimney! Say all the time wey her daughter even get first belle! He still nor stop!


She say imagine o, the baby wey come get some kain breathing health issues, this coconut SnIL go still carry pikin for one hand, dey puff with the second one!

I say her daughter suppose petition the husband na?!

Abi she nor dey see advert say na Akube smoker dey first the owner to liable?!

She say one time Ada throway all his cigar, say for 24hrs, body don dey do am one kain!

He begin sweat inside AC, kneel down begin beg Ada, make he jor do one puff only!
As she lock door, hide keys, she begin fear say he fit kpai o! As grown man dey cry! Na im make her beg Ada to open door, make he go find cigar buy! *Choi!*


Nna ehn! No be wetin oyinbo dey call meeting for be this?!
She say she thank God say na Tobacco, nor be weed! *clearsthroat!*
I say e get anyone wey nor be problem?!


I remember the time wey them do 5th birthday for that my customer first grandpikin. Wah follow go!


Choi! Stella see better lemz o! See Levuzz! Chocolate dey like oyinbo fountain, person go carry biscuit scoop the thing and chop!


Nna ehn, be like mah jor carry keg, fetch small go house gee my yard pipu dem! Pain me sah nor carry sliced bread or cabin biscuit for bag that day!

This their Estate wey no single shop dey, na only pharmacy i see, inside there sef, nothing wey person wey dey well fit close eye buy!

The usher wey dem put there squeeze face pass person wey do the fountain fa! *Hian!*

Nothing wey we nor chop that day! *Soft life good o!*

Ada even carry Fried meat and Peppered Croaca fish gimme for Portable Cooler go house! *Souvenir Tins!*

As na me dey hep dem drag down those pikin wey sabi climb tree, jump fence plus the ones wey weed don mix with their cornflakes!

*anor jor understand wetin their parents dey smoke for house!*

I drag one comot from under dinning table, he dey follow imaginary friend laugh! He say na Lulu wey wear waistcoat! He say na him bestfriend! Na so e dey start!

Achop meat 1 full week, anor purge! Kiikiikii...

Mama Ejima wah invite, she been form she get better owambe!


Anor know how person go carry invite gee you, you nor check the address!


You wear cloth finish, leave area, enter bus go Mowe when party na for your backyard! God abeg e!

She reach address, she nor see anybody! Na then, she reason check IV say, na the hostess family house for Ojuelegba be the venue! Nor be the senior brother house for Mowe!


By the time she come reach the real venue, na taataa food dem carry give her! With kpuff! As puff puff don finish!


They nor even offer her water sef! Na for house she come drink pure water on top the one spoon of rice wey she chop!


She vex come back house! I still give her stick meat chop, as shame sef nor gree her say No!


Na the time wah sidon for upstair at the parry, i dey help Ada arrange gift, wey dey wan carry go give children for orphanages,The SnIL come follow me gist!


He offer me stick meat wey the caterer reserve for late comers!


He ask if i go like use that uncle wey sabi waka-waka step down?!I say anor dey drink and drive?! He say i get car?!


I say i get engine and tyre! And na me dey navigate where okada go carry me go! Anor wan land for where anor know!


He say adonminit! He say with my behaviour, he nor believe say anor dey drink something! *clearsthroat*


I say, anor need drink alcohol before i clear persin, wey nor remember to carry common sense put inside pack as he dey come with the stick meat!


He say abi he offend me? I say Offendi kwa?!

Na big man dey offend person o!

Na im i ask if the girl wey he dey knack for dem Mama Nedu side, wey he pimp give him Father in law don tell him say she carry belle?!


She don try comot am for Matron side, but the pikin use glue hollam for osorfagux!

I say make he pack the remaining stick meat with him foolishness, go give her! Plus the waka- waka drink as im Johnny nor dey kukuma stay one place! *clickstongue!*