Hmmm...
COLD FEET BEFORE MARRIAGE
Hi Stella
Goodday
My chronicle is a short one
My partner who we both intend settling down together shared something with me.
I randomly asked him a question about if he ever watched porn and he said yes.
I got curious and asked if he ever masturbated, he said yes.
All happened in his teenage days.
Sincerely I appreciated that he told me truth but I went on pause.
I do not judge him but should I be worried about that part of him? because I am worried each time I think about that.
Are there some things that might happen due to this past experience he has? Wanna be sure this would not take a hold of him again. How can I help him curb that?
He is a different person now and I didn’t have an iota on the fact that he once had that life.
Hi Stella
Goodday
My chronicle is a short one
My partner who we both intend settling down together shared something with me.
I randomly asked him a question about if he ever watched porn and he said yes.
I got curious and asked if he ever masturbated, he said yes.
All happened in his teenage days.
Sincerely I appreciated that he told me truth but I went on pause.
I do not judge him but should I be worried about that part of him? because I am worried each time I think about that.
Are there some things that might happen due to this past experience he has? Wanna be sure this would not take a hold of him again. How can I help him curb that?
He is a different person now and I didn’t have an iota on the fact that he once had that life.
*Are you seeing red flags that is making you have cold feet?.. i f he has stopped it and is a better person, why are you scared? Better prepare yur mind cos most people who watch it always revert ad it has nothing to do with you so forget about trying to help
There’s nothing to be worried about because by the time he gets bored of you in marriage which always happens after long time relationship. So instead of cheating he can wank. I’m tired of my husband too but instead of cheating I masturbate.
ReplyDeleteI understand your fears
DeleteBut if this guy is good, better stay there o
Like who hasn't watched porn before and touched themselves?
The extremely addicted ones breaks the heart sha
But why lose something good over this?
If he wants to stop, he will stop on his own. So don't dump it on your head like home work before you will old.
Talk to God to talk to him
Naaa Waa oooooo. So, because he has masturbated and watched porn in the past that's a red flag?? Okay, breakup with him nau. I assure you even your pastor has. What ridiculousness. What kinda of holier than thou sheltered living and upbringing have ave you had? Are you living in the real world? What will you do if he cheats? Stone him to death? Nawaooo
DeleteIf watching porn and masturbating in one's teenage days are red flags, e mean say nobody go marry be that ooo!!
ReplyDeleteI tire o
DeleteHahahahahahahahahaha
DeleteSluttychic.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.
DeleteSome young kids are guilty of this.
DeletePoster, try and help him, don't condemn him yet.
Abi o. Poster pls search well , are you sure something else is not making you get cold feet ?
DeleteSpeak for yourself there are children from wellbell brought up family who never did that
DeleteThe man is being honest yet you are judging him.
DeleteFor doing those when he was young?? So those of us that are married and still doing it now nko??? In fact we do it to each other. Stella I beg no be every chronicle u go approve na.
DeleteKindly move on with your marriage with him and avoid unnecessary things which he might have probably outgrown. If you take a sample today, you will be shocked to find out that over 30% of couples still masturbate and they still have a lovely home and marriage. You can help him overcome the urge if its still there.
ReplyDeleteOlomo what’s it with you always telling ppl to divorce their spouse and move on, nawao
DeleteAnon 17:46, where in my comment did you see divorce? Are you just here to attack my comments on every post or what? And what is wrong in telling people to leave an unhealthy relationship?
DeleteAnon where did he say she should leave?? Olomo no be lie. Hubby and I even do it together. And it’s more like 60%.
DeletePoster your fiancé has told you his truth so please don't sweat it...Everyone has been involved in one juvenile delinquency stuff or you will explore...Nobody is perfect..First off, does he have a good character, is he kind, deeply loves you, and anything noble...That is what matters here...All the best...
ReplyDeleteGo on ahead with him joor
ReplyDeleteYou are just working yourself up over nada
I masturbated as a young man, not addicted to it then. I watched porn, not addicted to it then. All were in the past. I don't masturbate any longer. Porn? Once in a while as sent by friends or accidentally see it from social media sites. I don't go to any adult sight looking for porn to watch. By the way, who has a lady at home and masturbates? Are they quarrelling? Nothing to worry except him going back to which I think has a low percentage.
ReplyDeleteSome 40% young men must have masturbated one time or the other.
40%? More like 80%. It’s a natural part of growing up which most people out grow.
DeleteThe earlier you realise that 98% of guys have once watched porn and perhaps masturbated, the better for you. Including your so called pastors! Ask around. Btw, what answer were you expecting to hear? Some of you girls are crazy!
ReplyDeleteAnd you got your 98% statistics from where, oga? When some of you do something bad or know a few who do it, you just draw up conclusions or generate unfounded statistics from your "plastic minds". Some of you boys are crazy.
DeleteHahaha! I didn’t know how to word this but you have done a nice job. Most men masturbate or masturbated at some point. We’re doing Assisted fertility treatments and the first time my husband had to provide a sample, I thought “chai, so this man is masturbating and probably looking at porn now”. I didn’t bother to ask him the details of it, to avoid heartbreak lol.
DeleteSpeak for yourself ok that statistic is your imagination to indulge your flesh sin is sin
DeleteBabe let it rest biko.
ReplyDeletePoster, since the two things you mentioned happened in his teenage days & you also mentioned that he's a different person now, why are you bothered? Forget about his past and focus on his present.
ReplyDeleteIs there really a man that never watched porn and masturbated to it even once especially in teenage years with its raging hormones. You will look very hard to be able to find one. Just saying.
ReplyDeleteFor most,It’s usually just a phase but for some on the extreme of the spectrum it is/was an addiction which is the problematic aspect.
Poster I hope you are a virgin that has never seen porn even once. Because if you are not this your chronicle is laughable.
Yes, there is. Yes, there are.
DeleteAt your last question, yes I am.
DeleteOmo, you are not judging, but you still dey take style judge...when problem no dey, we go start to imagine new ones... Like where did the porn question even come from.
ReplyDeleteI'm just wondering too
DeleteYou wanna help him curb what? because he wanked and watched porn?? your fiancé should stay away from you! Yes I said what I said!!! little miss judgina.
ReplyDeleteDon’t mind your business and face front since marriage no dey hungry you
Sister abeg .so you have never watched porn or got aroused thinking of something..pls look for something else. You sound immature and too naive to be getting married.
ReplyDeleteEverything's just funny today😂
ReplyDeleteTeenage masturbation and porn is making you worry? Abi there's another thing?
I tire for this chronicle honestly
DeleteEven adult masturbation won’t bother me. If you travel, better his hand than another woman
DeleteVery funny
DeleteMy sister e follow shock you?. I pity that man in advance
DeleteLmao 😆 nor be only cold feet.
DeleteSluttychic.
Like, too funny.
DeletePoster if he hasn't shown any attribute to be worried about, then it's nothing.
Very funny chronicles
DeleteBe focus and allow God perfect it for you. Always be prayerful.
ReplyDeleteOrdinary porn and masturbation na red flag? Abeg find another flag
ReplyDelete😀😀😀😀😀
Delete"Porn and masturbation"is "ordinary"?
Delete"Ordinary"????
It's not ordinary, there are spirits behind masturbation and watching of porn.
DeleteStella ooooo, I have a different idea about that oooo.
ReplyDeleteI was watched porn and those years, I never get horny let alone trying to rock my gbola..
That's just me.
But I had a neighbor then, I think I have once shared with you guy, he loves to watch porn and the anooy in Ng thing is, whenever he is banging his wife, both of them must put on porn movie and all the styles must be done
What’s annoying about a man and his wife watching porn and doing whatever styles they are watching 🤷🏿♀️🤣😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteSluttychic.
Very adventurous couple. Loveet!
DeleteStella o, your Bvs are the real deal.
ReplyDeleteI no fit laff.
For porn?? For masturbation? You should be thanking your stars he does not do those now, infact watching porn and masturbation is the least of my worries wen looking for a partner wen they are more dangerous issues I should be worried about.
ReplyDeleteUnless you don't want to marry,come out plain,wat is the real reason?,dont hook cold feet to teenage pornography
This is the funniest and at the same time the most furious chronicle on Stella’s blog. Like seriously? Who never watched porn and masturbated before? I’m talking about boys, though. Show me one man who had not masturbated before. Apparently you don’t really love him. You’re just looking for a reason to back up your dislike for him.
ReplyDeleteThe chronicle is 'furious?' 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteBoys?
DeleteThen you don't know girls..
A lady can masturbate without even touching her vee with her finger.. a lady can lie still stiff her legs until she cums, a lady can sit, and shake her legs and you won't even know she's getting freaky,. Omo you no even know as e dey go
I am a married woman who is very satisfied sexually. Being married almost 2 decades and i still watch porn. Still masturbate. Sometimes i watch it with hubby sef. Still read erotica. Eventually in marriage u ll get bored sexually and need some spice, its natural. Ohhh, i am in my 30's
ReplyDeleteI wonder o, maybe this poster doesn't really love this guy and she wan discharge him.
DeleteAble discharge him let others grab him.
Nobody holy pass o.
If he is not addicted to either of those then it is not an issue.
How is watching porn and masturbation an issue. Please leave him if you see that as an issue.
ReplyDeleteLol see you saying you want to curb it. You sound so serious and really judgemental because where's the red flag say somebody is masturbating.
I wank off occasionally I don't see anything wrong with me so if I tell my partner and he sees it as an issue that is his own wahala not mine. From now till tomorrow nothing will stop me from doing it
Poster!!!!!! In all honesty, will you say you have never masturbated or watch porn. Are you saying your brother has never watched porn or masturbated? Please let’s not be hypocritical. Let’s remove the rafter in our eyes before looking at the straw in others
ReplyDeleteEverything (good & bad) needs prayers. If the Lord has confirmed he is your partner by all means go ahead. You can also do your coded intermmitent investigation if you want a reasurrance to be sure he is no longer watching porn by checking his browsing history although chronic porn site viewers know how to delete browing history. As for the masturbation you cannot confirm this.
ReplyDeleteThe spiritual angle-Porn/masturbation is addictive and bad, don't let anyone deceive you. For some they get away with it and just deal with physical repercussions like lack of sexual satisfaction in marriage, low sperm count etc. but for others the battle with the spiritual starts because this acts open the door to spirit husband/wife.
You mean the porn and masturbation that happened while he was a teenager and battling to get a grip on his raging hormones? 🙄
DeleteSpiritual fear mongers.
U are very right.
DeleteYesterday i burnt all my 3 dildos because i felt disgusted after masturbating.
Its like something takes over me when d urge comes and if i don't 'cum' i will be restless.
Once i cum i feel so irritated.
I asked God for forgiveness and pray for self control whenever i feel such urge.
As I've stopped i just pray spirit hus will leave me too.
Poster you don't have any problem, watching porn /masturbating as a teenager isn't an issue. Pls if this man is a good man, marry him and be happy.
ReplyDeleteMadam I don't see how those things you listed becomes a problem in future, except you are suspecting he is addicted to porn or masturbation.
ReplyDeleteEven at that hmmm, some couple use porn and masturbation to spice up things in the oza room.
Carry on with your man as long as the love and attraction is full and complete.
He said when he was young may, haba. Why are you behaving as if you are a virgin or don't have past too?
ReplyDeleteIt’s good you asked tho
ReplyDeleteIf you didn’t ask you might bother yourself and him too much and drive him away
Hahaha. You dont have an issue if that's all. Even your pastors (i can tell you are a church girl) who looks at his pastor as the epitome of a good man has watched porn and might still masturbates even now. Red flags are domestic violence, lying, not cutting ties with exes
ReplyDeletePoster dear, I understand your fears. It's always been said on here that red flags should not be overlooked. I guess that's why you wrote in. In this case, those things you wrote about happened in his teenage days. They are long gone. Good thing is that he opened up to you. That's a good sign too. It's just that ANYBODY can revert to their old ways even if they don't want to. This is strictly the work of Satan.
ReplyDeleteAll you should do is to be in Christ. That way, no chances for the devil. If both of you are in Christ, this shouldn't be an issue. You can check my ID for prayer of repentance to become a child of God and then continue to be in Christ and be prayerful. Also read the Bible daily. It strengthens one against fleshly temptations.
If those are the only issues he has, you have nothing to worry about. God bless you.
Sister is there any other bad thing he has done in the past?
ReplyDeleteWhy are you afraid he might watch porn again?
If he watches nothing will happen
DeleteStop making people hide normal things from you
Poster your worries are not trivial. Your moral value is high as regards sexual behavior. Don't go ahead if you're not at peace.
ReplyDeletePls let her know there is sex involved in marriage too. She might also see it as sin and pray fo r forgiveness before having sex with husband.
DeleteI don't even know what to say.
ReplyDeleteIf he says it is in the past then leave it there.
ReplyDeleteI still believe people change which is the reason we have people getting born again everyday.
Some some assistant Jesus on this post though, one would think they are without sin, check well they have bfs n GFS, and knack pass rabbit. Ndi ojor, judges of the jungle, tueh tueh. Poster, if ya worried that he watched porn in his teenage years, and it's a red flag for you, break up and give me his number,. Very simple. Even married couple watch porn. Pls this is not an issue.
ReplyDeleteLol..
ReplyDeleteIt's not that deep..
Problem here is if he's an addict.. I'm speaking in present tense cos he might still do this once in a while,. Apart from the spiritual aspect of masturbation,. So far it's not a regular stuff, it's not really a problem
Trouble no dey but this aunty dey find am. Lol
ReplyDeleteYou ladies especially don't get tired of these moral 'uprightedness'? It's such a luxury/privilege a lot of people can't afford in the real world na, hian! Chronicle on porn and maturation in someone's teenage years, hpw many more 'sins' are you planning to unearth madam she without sin, poster abeg shift. People have real problems biko.
ReplyDeleteAre men that silly today though, or maybe its the poor ones that have the time to stand judgement for you ladies really becos WTF s this truly. So you didn't have anything to do in your life at that point but to ask a full grown man if he has ever watched porn and masturbated and he too answered you.
ReplyDeleteThere are other important questions but his one sexual flaw is your problem. Well let me tell you this, leave him and go for a man who sleeps around with anything with an ass and puci, most guys wank cos they don't want to sleep around when dey get the urge. I know guys who say I can never wank but would sleep with anything even a gal with glaring STD, foul smelling discharge and puss. Pick your poison . Pray together, go to therapy, also important know what he watches. The actual red flag is what he watches according to science if he watches: beastial sex disappear, pedo sex flee, necrophila sex delete ursef, gay sex run, sibling sex run... U need to actually know what he watches to judge him
ReplyDeleteThe statistics from those who know is that 30% of Nigeria’s broadband capacity goes on watching porn! Which is very alarming. If the guy is over it there is no cause for worry. If he is still into porn, he needs repentance and prayer as it destroys relationships. Porn is a relatively new global multibillion $ demonic industry that is fueling child sex trafficking among other ills. If you are involved as some casually mentioned here, ask God to forgive you and deliver you in Jesus name. Poster your man said it was in his past, God forgives our past, we should be gracious to others too! Love always forgives. Unless you aren’t in love with him and just need a way out.
ReplyDelete