Hmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
TROUBLED LOVER...
Hello Stella,
Please hide my identity. i don't know if this qualifies as a chronicle but i am disturbed and will appreciate it if you help me post so I can hear from other beevees and also get help if necessary.
I am a young lady in my early 30's i have never enjoyed s#x and i wonder if that is how i am built or maybe its a medical condition. i have tried all i can and its so sad i fake orgasm to make my fiancé happy. i love my fiancé and i have tried everything i have read on the internet that could be the possible cause of it and none is working. my friend said enjoying sex is a mental thing and i have tried to put my mind in the act but its not working, i dont have any infection.
I know i am the problem because my fiancé's ex is always all over him and i have seen some messages of her still desiring him so sometimes i start to think maybe its a spiritual matter cos i don't understand why my own is different.
After my very first relationship failed, i thought maybe when i meet someone else it will be different but this goes to prove i am the problem cos i still feel the same way. when people talk about s#x being the sweetest thing ever, i really can't relate cos i have never experienced any sweetness.
I enjoy foreplay and all but once penetration sets in i dont enjoy or feel anything.
I have at some point decided to be unbothered and continue faking it but i feel like i am cheating myself.
Our wedding is in December and i am worried this might be an issue cos my fiancé loves sex and i dont desire it cos i never enjoy it.
Please BV's is it normal? what do i do? i need help
I dont know whether it is normal or not but how can you use your two legs to go and look for trouble? you dont like it but you want to marry someone that LOVES it? my dear, all i can advice you to do is to continue faking it....In fact, increase the faking and you will be fine..
Does anyone else have a better advice? please let us know.
You will be fine oh...
I read what someone said on this blog how she always call herself whore bitch etc during the do and she said that’s what makes her enjoy it. Poster have you tried this 🙄
ReplyDeleteFan Emmanuel
Poster, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. the truth they never told us is that some women will never have an orgasm through penetrative sex, no matter how skilled her lover is or no matter how much she desires to. I am one of such women and it took me a long while to realise that there was nothing wrong with me and that there were so many other women like me out there. I grew up reading Mills and Boons novel and i couldnt wait to experience the spine curdling orgasms my heroines experienced in the novel. imagine my surprise when i started having sex and didnt experience any such orgasm. Yes, the desire was there and the foreplay was very enjoyable but once penetration occured...nothing! No orgasm whatsoever. The only way i experience orgasm is by masturbation and yes, orgasm is heavenly sweet. i have been married for seven years and my husband believes i orgasm almost everytime we have sex cos i fake it. I am not about to tell him otherwise either. i would advise you not to overthink it too much and just look for ways you can achieve orgasm on your own or with the help of your partner. You could try a Vibrator and see how that goes. Just because you dont orgasm through penetration doesnt mean you wont orgasm through other means...you just have to find what works for you.
DeletePoster nothing is wrong with you, the problem is you should be able to discuss sex your intended. I never enjoyed sex until I meet my baby daddy, we talked about sex after the 1st time we had it, I just told him straight up that I have never reached an orgasm before, so during sex he will asked me what I like as we made love, what turns me on, fore play does but he will finger me and be sucking my breast at the same time. I will really be enjoying it ooo but I won't come. So when he is tried I will tell him to enter me so he can come, we continue like that but the dude twice my age ooo was determined that I most come so one of our sex act he entered inside me beginning to fondle my breast and finger me while he was trusting in and out of me that was the break through., I came and it was a beautiful experience. So I think the key is discussing it with him and exploring different ways to make you, but you have to be patient and he has to be determine to see you come eventually.
DeleteShe has to find out what works for her before guiding her man on what to do..
Deleteread this.
DeleteMasturbate or think of your crush or the guy you admire while making love to your husband. It works.
DeleteSorry dear. You love sex because you enjoy the foreplay. You’re questioning your sexual need only because no one has unlocked your portal. I used to be like you till my ex husband gave me a little weed and thereafter sucked the fuck out of my P. Babes, I couldn’t recognize the screaming voice I was hearing, neither could I explain the water soaked sheets. It was mad
DeleteNa the day she go mistakenly mention her crush name. Kasala go burst.
DeleteKai, may God help us and marraiges
DeleteI know for sure some people do not enjoy penetrative sex but enjoys other aspects of sex
ReplyDeleteWhen will u fake it to? Till when? Coupled with the fact that your fiance loves sex. Either discuss it with your fiance and u both will look for solution toether or u quit the relationship.
Advice keh, which advice can I give when all I have been thinking about today is sex sex and more sex. I open chronicle I read about sex, open phone sex, my vag is so wet, I keep imagining sex, abeg you people should leave me joor, my problem is more than yours.
ReplyDeleteLMAO .Who be this abeg😂
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeletePlease go see a gynecologist to rule out any medical issues, then visit a sex therapist. You’ll be fine. A lot of people suffer cos of ignorance so please calm down and open up to your husband to be.
ReplyDeleteMy sister, incorporate pineapple juice, Greek yoghurt, cranberries, tiger nut and dates into your diet.
I hope this helps, and you have a memorable WNB 😉
It's not enough to go see a gynecologist. So many women feel the way she does from the comments and there's nothing wrong with them and nothing is wrong with her either.
DeleteBaltika still see a gynae. All bodies are not the same and doctors are not created equal
DeleteI changed dermatologist 3 times to find one to fix acne for me
It will get a time after marriage, your fiancé, then husband will realise that you are faking it because you would have become tired of faking it..
ReplyDeleteHe will cheat on you but don't worry, even the men of women who have orgasms still cheat on them.
Drink honey
DeleteExcept she tells him he will never find out ...and if he finds out he should be ashame of not being able to satisfy a woman,now that breaks men.An experienced guy will find out the very first time without being told.sex is more than the moaning,talks and shouts some use in deceiving their partners.
DeleteI appreciate your efforts so far but one thing you’ve not done and should always do in anything concerning your body is See a Doctor. Without examining you, I think we should be looking at your hormone levels. If you don’t want to discuss things like this with a doctor, then at least see one and say you’d like do all full gynae check before your wedding. You’ll like to check estrogen levels, iron, etc
ReplyDeleteExactly.
DeleteGbam. Stress can also be a contributing factor or not sleeping well. Sex feels like a chore to me lately after having my first baby due to being a full time career woman and a full time mother and wife. I used to crave for it but now I’m always tired and not in the mood. thank God my husband understands me so he doesn’t stress me with it. I still try as much as possible to get intimate with him sha. I plan on going back to the gym and start sleeping on time. I’m also taking multivitamin. And yes poster, check your hormone and estrogen levels.
DeleteWhen you say, never enjoyed, do you mean painful sex? If so please visit a gynecologist cos it’s a medical condition.
ReplyDeleteIf not, please relax and allow your man pleasure you. Didn’t be tense or afraid because of your previous experiences. Let him fondle, play and tease your body to find your sex spot. i.e. what drives you wild in bed, that way your coochie is moist and ready to take all of him.
Please note: when your man is inside of you, don’t be afraid to tell him what direction to stroke so you can discover your g-spot.
When you know your g-spot…., it’s finished! 😀
Fake it till you make it
ReplyDeleteGo to the hospital and check if you were circumcised. That's the only thing that can make it that bad.
ReplyDeleteAlso, have you had any traumatic experience that could have caused it? If yes, go for therapy and also pray about it. Ask God for enjoyment in sexual activities. He'll give you overdose sef. Read Romans 8:11. The Holy Spirit will cause your body to come to life and experience sexual pleasure. This scripture portion is also used when praying for the blessing of the fruit of the womb and for men suffering weak erection and other reproductive issues.
By the way, stop having sex outside of marriage. It's sin before God and it comes with a lot of consequences unknown to the physical. If you are to follow my suggestions, especially the second paragraph, then you should be making your ways right before God first. Fornication is sin.
Gbam
DeleteFake it till you make it
ReplyDeleteHahahhahahaahahhaa.
DeleteFor how long? Especially marrying a man who loves sex hmmm.
DeleteYou said you don't feel anything when the D enters,maybe you've got a wide Vjay.Please consider seeing a doctor for some prescriptions or surgery if you can afford it.Thank God for technology,there's no problem without a solution now.
ReplyDeleteI don't think she has wide Vjay, no man will settle down with a woman like that. I only started enjoying sex after childbirth,prior to that time it was always traumatic and pain cos i was too tight.
Delete"no man will settle down with a woman like that" the way some of you comment ignorantly and stupidly....so when did you take that statistics madam tight vagina?
DeleteMay be you were circumcised, try see a gynecologist.
ReplyDeleteExactly, because I learnt that females who were circumsized hardly enjoy sex. Poster, if this is your case, then you have nothing to worry about, as it is a normal thing.
DeleteAre you circumcised? Do you have a past traumatic sexual experience? Do you or did you attend any church that really hammer on fornication as a sin,thereby instilling feelings of guilt?
ReplyDeleteIf your answers to the above is yes,then you are halfway to recovery. If it's no,then maybe you haven't met the right gbola.🤷♀️
Reading mode activated..
ReplyDeleteStill learning 😎😎
It is well poster, may God help to enjoy it well .
ReplyDelete@poster, you are not alone. I have never enjoyed penetrative sex in my life and I am in my early thirties too.
ReplyDeleteThen, when I used to have sex with my ex-boyfriend, all I felt was pain and I get bruised and blood will be gushing out from my lady part.
I told my mom about it and I even asked her if I was circumcised when I was a baby, but she said they didn't perform circumcisions on any one of us. If you see the way I dread having a boyfriend now, not to talk of getting married to him, coupled with the fact that I have tiny breast, just two big nipples on my chest.
My other sisters are directly opposite of me. They enjoy sex and have normal breasts. I have no idea why I am different from the rest of my sisters. This issue makes make to have a low self-esteem. I am just too tired abeg.
There was a colleague too who confided in me that she doesn't enjoy having sex with her husband. She even married as a virgin. She has a baby now. The last time we spoke and I asked her if she was enjoying sex with her husband now, she said no, that it's still the same as before.
I hope I am anonymous sha
@Anon 15:36
DeleteThose ur big nipples are supposed to be weapons for arousal
Let ur boyfie or hubby concentrate on ur nipples by sucking n stroking them
It helps a lot
Also try kunnu aya and debino with coconut(tiger nuts and date), blend everything together and extract d juice. Refrigerate it and drink often
Hmmm
The rest na story!!
Sometimes it may be your ur ex guy was just doing rubbish in the name of sex.some guys just don't know how to use their dick. When you meet a guy who understands the importance of foreplay before sex/lovemaking you will realize you were never the problem.
DeleteDidn't you feel shy telling your mum about your sex life? I can't imagine such though. I envy you sha.
DeleteYou could be asexual
DeleteBuy the book Every woman. Read it very well. Also try to explore been on top.
DeletePoster don't fake anything because when you marry him; he already has a high libido; yours is almost non-existent, you can't keep up appearances or match his energy so there is no need to pretend..Your main sexual organ here is your brain not your vagina or penis..Everything starts from your brain....You need to see a sex therapist to help unbox all the challenges you have been going through (I have 2 at the top of my head on instagram that come highly recommended) ...
ReplyDeleteHow was your childhood like? did you suffer trauma? Sex is to be enjoyed and not endured or seen as a chore/faking it ...It all starts from your mind....Try and relax...Sex does not happen on the bed or couch....A lot of activities lead to lovemaking act...Sex and money are the 2 leading causes of divorce...Marriage is on earth to be enjoyed, there is no marriage in heaven....So if you want to enjoy, you need to make an effort to make it work.....
Why is your man already doing with your ex...Please be careful and ensure you make the right decision in your life partner....All the best....
For me, I only enjoy penetration when I receive head. By the time I cum like once or twice, I will be the one asking him to fuck me. My hubby understands that aspect abt me and gives me head. Maybe you should try this. And try to incorporate water melon, pineapple etc.
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeletePoster try and see gynecologist ..........
ReplyDeleteThe truth is not all women will experience orgasm through penetrative sex alone. I believe it has to do with the nerves and the location of the g-spot.
ReplyDeleteI've been married for 28yrs and never had an orgasm through penetrative but by direct clitoral stimulation though I never faked one during penetration and my hubby is aware.
My two daughters are married now(married as virgins) and it's the same with them. I was hoping they would be spared this but its the same with them...by clitoral stimulation only.
I see no reason to fake any orgasm but just embrace your body the way you were created and make the most of it...that's if your husband will he patient to stimulate you to orgasm by touch or orally for those who love this before penetrative you forhis own orgasm.
The vagina,imo,is like any other part of the body...some have very sensitive ones and some don't even feel anything with some in between. Some women it's their breast,some their necks, some laps, some their tongues.
Pls note that I was not circumcised neither did I have any traumatic experience...same as my daughters to the best of my knowledge.
wow people are really facing alot.
DeleteYour daughters told you how their husbands stimulate their clitoris?? Hey God! How do you people discuss such? I tried to imagine discussing such with my mum and I almost fainted. Pray to have such relationship with my kids o.
DeleteHaba @ Anon 18:17, they didn't tell me HOW their husbands stimulate their clitoris. They were worried they weren't enjoying penetration but clitoral stimulation and felt something was wrong with them because they already had an expectation about sex that wasn't met.
DeleteIt wasn't a descriptive gist at all.
Please be careful dealing with this and use a female gynaecologist and take a friend if you can. Too many stories nowadays o!
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteMadam Stella said continue faking it, increase the tempo, ride on babe.
Sincerely continue faking it until you find a solution.
I have read somewhere online that some female experience vagina vaginismus which makes them unable to relax and enjoy sex.
Sex with the right person is so much enjoyable.
Poster see a doctor privately while you are faking it and you might find a solution soon enough.
Funny rhing is that even some women who sabi sex and do it very well with their partner still get cheated on. Poster you have hope o, just dey fake am dey go until ...
Good luck.
Hello Poster, you are not alone. When i just got married [ i married as a virgin], i struggled with enjoying sex. But my husband is very patient and is a wonderful man. Eventually, i had to tell him. He then decided to try everything possible [that includes longer foreplay and oral sex], then we discovered that i had a nerve at the back of my vagina, this nerve can only be reached by spoon sex or missionary [ where i am sprawled like a prostitute/ sidechic]. After that i started enjoying sex more, then after i gave birth to my Angel, my cervix opened more and since then sex na enjoyable moments for me.
ReplyDeleteI suggest you discuss with your husband/Fiance for better result. Is not everything you leave Man.
"where i am sprawled like a prostitute/ sidechic" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣please how do they use to sprawl? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 is different from how mummy wa use to sprawl ba? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 una no go kii pesin....🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteYou don't enjoy knacks, your fiance does. That's a disaster waiting to happen coz he will get that satisfaction outside. He cannot endure with you.
ReplyDeleteI heard some women enjoy sex more and have orgasms after having their first child or second child bla bla bla!
ReplyDeleteDnt really kno if it is medically proved.
But i started enjoying sex "most" after giving birth!!
I could remember vividly i reached orgasms immediately after my baby came out d day of delievery. It was like heaven on earth for few seconds, the pain disappeared dat few seconds and i felt d pain again after d orgasms
So dear poster dnt give up, u might definitely fall into this category and always have foreplay before penetration, let him concentrate on ur nipples n clits. Those areas r "na here we go die".
Maybe you are a lesbian, try fucking a woman and see if you will enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteIgnore this demonic life destroying advice
DeleteI hope you would be able to justify this advice on the last day
DeleteThere’s absolutely nothing wrong with you poster!
ReplyDeleteI am the exact way and I married a virgin too when I was 30, not because I was righteous but I just wasn’t interested at all. This stirred rumours that I was likely a lesbian.
I enjoy foreplay only, penetration has to be with LOTS of ky jelly and not for long.
Stop faking it! I let my hubby know exactly what it is and tbh, it’s made it interesting. We fuse what we both like and thank God his tongue game is A++, this man eats me like his life depends on it.
Tell him the truth, it’s for the better….it would charge him to get adventurous and research how to break the “jinx”.
You don’t need penetration to climax, get toys that both of you can explore with…what you need is clitoral vibrations to make it rain.
Best wishes.
Ewwwwo see this woman ooo, you bad gaaaan chai virgin no fit some people at all . Your last paragraph off me lol. Thank God that you are married.
Deletehahaha
Deletebad geh
poster since you do not love sex i will say you should not marry a person that love sex so that you will not have problem in the future. I was about to say maybe you do not love and have feelings for him but you said same thing happened with your ex.
ReplyDeleteHope you are not having sex with your man instead of lovemaking. You can also find out if they are positions that turns you on. Discover your GSPOT so that you can help yourself to enjoy sex. Is possible you have something disturbing you or the person who disflowered you from day one did not do a good job. Abi your mama comot that thing for your something, go ask your mama if them comot am when she born you.
Omo them cut my own finish like say them be want cut my remaining clit join sef , but o boy I enjoy penetration of the d*** die, fore play na just jara . I am married with 3 kids .
DeleteSo if you like carry labalaba for under or carry nothing at all it has nothing to do with how much s*x sweet you reach .
My advice for you young ones is to flee fornication, as much as you can. Wait until marriage - It's possible and God provides the grace.
ReplyDeletePoster pls keep yourself until u are married.ur body is the temple of God&sex is a spiritual exercise.when u are married to the right one,he will help u enjoy sex better.goodluck dear
ReplyDeleteGo get yourself an O shot. I was once like you. Google about O shot
ReplyDeleteFirst, please do not listen to those asking you to bring the picture of another person into your imagination, what kind of thing is this?! Some people here ehn!!!
ReplyDeleteMy suggestion may not be for you, but if it is, then great! I am a married man whose wife could not organism either. The main thing though is that we were open with each other, no fake orgasms in this household! So, in the beginning, she could not orgasm but willing to still engage regularly for me (no rejection at all). She just wanted me to hold her after I cum. She always insisted she was circumcised and blamed that for her experience.
I am not a selfish lover, so a few weeks into our marriage, I decided to find a way. I made it a priority to make sure she orgasms, else I don't. That provides a great incentive to actively look for a solution o! But didn't always work because back then (15 years back o), she'd instead take charge of me, so I am not left hanging. Eventually, found how to touch her right (masturbate). Takes a lot of work (one hand in one place, another hand in another place, lips in a different place), but now she orgasms every single time and it is only after this that I will penetrate. The best part is that after years, now when I penetrate, she even orgasms a second time, but it took years and patience.
Hope something here helps.
NB: only problem is that now she enjoys the thing so much, she doesn't take care of me like she used to. 🤦♂️
Pele 🤣
DeleteLmaooo, sorry and weldone.
DeleteCould be you had a sexual traumatic experience in the past
ReplyDeletePoster after all said and done I will tell you how I orgasm, you see my nipple the moment you touch it you must finish what you have started. For the orgasm part as the guy is sucking one nipple , one of his hands is kneading the second nipple and his phallus is doing justice to my yonder as he is doing all this am undulating as he is stroking in and out before you know it I have entered paradise and that is the end. Thanks for reading my chronicles.
ReplyDeletePoster I think the best thing to do here is to call off this wedding. There is a big issue with your sexual compactibility since you can't bring yourself to tell your husband to be the truth. I can't belive that a fellow woman like me is telling another woman to lie about her sexual climax. Poor man ooo only God knows how many women are lying to their husband's on a daily basis. Pls don't proceed with this wedding for your peace and his sanity. A friend went through this and they where married for 7yrs and they could no longer proceed bcos it was frustrating for both the man and his wife. Nothing gives joy to the heart of a man to see his women satisfied for real. Unless the man is someone that don't give a shot. It's not too late to walk away.
ReplyDeleteHere for the comments
ReplyDeletePoster may be your inability to enjoy sex is because of the wicked circumcision done to you as a baby.
ReplyDeleteBuy Every woman book. The first four chapters explains about the woman body.
ReplyDeleteReading most comments seems like one is reading erotic novel
ReplyDelete