Hmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
UNDERSTANDING HUSBAND
My husband took my phone to take a selfie of me, when it dinged, he didn't check but it flashed on the notification as a credit alert. I remembered I jokingly asked my boss to do Xmas for me. I wanted to explain but DH wriggled his finger as a no no no. He said he doesn't care, that I can do my thing.
I have been restless, not feeling guilty but why would he make such statements?
We are good but at the back of my mind, I feel he really does not care about me. I can hangout with friends and he won't ask how long or where or who!
A little jealousy would suffice, don't you think?
My husband took my phone to take a selfie of me, when it dinged, he didn't check but it flashed on the notification as a credit alert. I remembered I jokingly asked my boss to do Xmas for me. I wanted to explain but DH wriggled his finger as a no no no. He said he doesn't care, that I can do my thing.
I have been restless, not feeling guilty but why would he make such statements?
We are good but at the back of my mind, I feel he really does not care about me. I can hangout with friends and he won't ask how long or where or who!
A little jealousy would suffice, don't you think?
What do you need the jealousy for? why look for problems where there is none?My hubby has the same attitude, he will ask some small questions or you can supply but there are no restrictions and he will not raise an eyelid if an alert comes in ...
Dont you know the person you married? Is this guilty conscience in disguise? You dont know the blessing in disguise that you have.....
Why dont you ask him wy he is not jealous and see what he says?
Don't find issues where there none. The jealousy you crave for might destroy it. Enjoy your marriage.
ReplyDeleteExactly from jealousy to controlling her every day activities. She should be happy to have a care free husband
DeleteIt’s concern she craves for not jealousy. Imagine my kids going out with friends and I don’t even bother to know who they are?. That’s nonchalance and I personally won’t be comfortable with it from someone I care for who allegedly cares for me
DeleteFor this kinds of men, just make sure you give them gist even if they don’t ask so they will always be in the know.
DeleteMy hubby isn’t jealous either, but I am also always open, I tell him where I am going even when he isn’t in my state or country, i gist him of almost every gist I have with anyone else so he would probably have known I asked my boss to “do Christmas for me” if I was in your situation.
If you also want the concern, you can talk about it but if he has always been like that then that’s just his nature.
Push up (original)
15:37
DeleteA woman deliberately does what some husbands show jealousy about, and wants her husband to show concern (aka giving himself hypertension over an adult wife)?
Poster, just be straight. Men like your husband either do not worry themselves rain or shine, or do not worry so long as they trust their wives but take unbendable decisions where actuated by a breach of trust found out without being sought. Only you and your husband know which of these two he is.
You needn't worry yourself jare
DeleteDo as he has said
People dey sha
ReplyDeleteI am not impressed by jealousy.
And if he asks her now, she will say he's nagging.
DeleteUmu uwa, never pleasing them.π€¨
God Abeg o. If he’d confronted you, I’m sure you would have called him unprintable names and even label him “immature”
ReplyDeleteAll of a sudden you don’t think he loves you cos he didn’t raise his voice concerning the alert. I see why some men go out of their way to pretend to some of you cos it’s what you people want.
Sluttychic.
I am Singing π€ Trouble Dey sleep na yanga wan go wake am ooo . As e be say your husband no carry bottle tear your face or hit your head for wall like other violent nigga , e get as e come dey do you for body abi?. We women we too like complain . There nothing there Ma , just tell him what’s up whenever both of you are in chatting and laughing mood as in really close laughter from the heart, then tell him your boss did Christmas for you that’s all , please do not prolong talk, before you sound like you have any attachment with your boss.
ReplyDeleteAbeg cheer up you no get problem.
Mummy Anthony-Clever
Poster thank God for you,he is a secure man,I have a man that assume that I am in an affair just by me greeting a male colleague,he made my life miserable and I left that period.
ReplyDeletePoster work on your insecurities
DeleteAsk him to show more concern
Think if he has always been this way
Show more concern over what? Her asking her boss for Christmas gift or going out to hang out with friends?
DeleteTruly the man was made to serve the woman.
That's a man that values his mental health.
ReplyDeleteWhat do women really want?
ReplyDeleteAnother one will send in her chronicle next week and say her husband is not allowing her talk to anybody that he is too jealous meanwhile this one is here saying there is no jealousy in her home and apparently, this is supposed to be a problem..
What is the meaning of that your first question? Is this one woman all the women in the world? Abeg respect yourself. Thank you.
DeleteTell us what you’re hiding ma
ReplyDeleteShe'll keep pushing that man until he gets to his elastic point, just because she wants him to show jealousy and what she'll meet at that point would shock her..
DeleteI know her type..
Men like this value their mental health, they'll give you a long rope and expect you to be wise with it, they'll overlook a lot of things, but when you keep testing to their limit, that's the end and nothing would change it at that point..
I know this cos I'm like this
Poster you dey find trouble.
ReplyDeleteSo this husband of yours let's you unwind, have play times and you are worried he should be jealous?
Abeg live your life o, your man is a good man!
Ok why are you worried?
Since the alert came has he been giving you attitude? Has he not touched you in za oza room?
Abeg free the oga joor, make you dey there dey find trouble wey no find you
For security reasons, and just to have answers when questions are asked, a husband should definitely want to know where his wife is going and with whom. Touch wood, but if something should happen to the poster and she doesn't return home, where is he going to go to look for her?
ReplyDeleteIn the last couple of years, we have read so many stories of ladies going missing after going to visit people they met online. If they hadn't told their besties/flatmates where they were going, their abductors/killers would have gotten away scot-free.
Very true. Especially in these times that even in-laws will be the first to hold the man by his throat to go bring back their daughter.
DeleteMadam does home lessons in 3 different homes. She was asked for the addresses. Her response was that she was being monitored. What you wrote here was the explanation her husband gave. Madam didn't see the point. She was left alone. If anything happens, won't her husband be seen as stupid to answer that he doesn't know where his wife went to?
The things seen and experienced in romance and marriages.
Some men saw alot before marriage. So they chose to enjoy what peace is available their marriage before the storm it it comes.
Please if your mind is clear, why are you bothered? Or is there something you are not telling us?
ReplyDeleteAfter 25 good years of marriage, my husband is still jealous, likewise me. Please enjoy your marriage in peace.
He is over you.
ReplyDeleteOr he over trust you.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Or he is doing his own kurukere moves and doesn't care what you do
DeleteGbam. A little bit of jealousy is healthy in a relationship. It’s different from controlling someone abeg.
DeletePls poster can you just relax.you ought to have understood the kind of man you married by now.if he isn't jealous over the things you do,then let him be as long as he's not cheating on you.
ReplyDeleteOr she is not cheating physically or emotionally on him.
DeleteHmmmmm hope you are not cheating just asking
ReplyDeleteI hope you understand with him too when he goes to hangout and you don't go about asking who he's with, where and all..
ReplyDeleteI hope you understand too when you see some certain suspicious messages on his phone and believe he can handle himself..
I'm to a large extent like this, but where problem would start is when I understand yours and you refuse to understand mine..
Oti o..
As I no dey stress you, no stress me✌️
Have sense people are different
DeleteAm learning by reading comments, thank you ππππ
ReplyDeleteMaybe 3 things
ReplyDelete1. Not that into you
2. Overly trust you and respect your boundary
3. He has so many skeletons in his wardrobe and he knows if he start being inquisitive, you too would want to dabble into his affairs.
Maybe more:
Delete4. He is give them a long rope type.
5. He believes all women give trouble so why stress self over one.
6. His happiness is not tied to anybody's action.
7. He is fully confident based on facts not known to Poster that she would not stray.
8. He already knows what he would do if Poster is clearly caught astray. And his action would hurt more. So why worry over what is well planned for.
Best for Poster to avoid kurukere movements and enjoy her marriage.
Poster,your hubby Trust and believes in you.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your marriage shaken.
Dude doesn't want trouble, he's just avoiding things that will make him lose weight.
ReplyDeletePoster your hubby is like mine. He over trusts me. Though on my part I try to always inform of my whereabouts as much as I can for security purposes.
ReplyDeleteAlso, why ask your boss to do Christmas for you?, why give room for unnecessary over familiarity between your boss and yourself. When he starts making advances tomorrow you will start screaming #metoo.
It may be a harmless gift but then don’t go and be bringing yourself unnecessarily low before men by soliciting for money albeit jokingly especially in your work place. It never ends well.
Wisdom is profitable to direct.
π―π
DeleteWhen he ask her to do Christmas for him too, I hope she won't say he's harassing her
Delete17:05
DeleteFear of the backlash stopped this question. Good a woman is the first to ask.
She asked her boss to do Christmas for her but wants her husband to have the headache over whether or not she is having an unfinished business with her boss.
Some wives sha.
Thanks Lady Stella for posting.
Honestly, I find things like this so irritating. Just like friends that will beg for Christmas and birthday presents but it will never occur to them to give you a present on your own birthday. This form of stylish begging seems to be so common place in Nigeria.
DeleteVery annoying something. Same way some married women reach out to ex or a man who has showed them interest in the past for financial help without their husband's knowledge. They have no idea of the fire they are playing with. It's when one of the men's wife would reach out to their husbands to inform them of this rubbish, that's when their eyes will clear. Long throat just dey worry una.
DeleteJealousy is mental illness, it is toxic and healthy. Why do you want your husband to be mentally ill, toxic, abusive and unhealthy??? You don’t know what you have. Be grateful to God cos your husband is mentally sound.
ReplyDeleteThe husband has to be protective of her, even if it is a bit. If he is not, then it is worrisome.
DeleteKING XOXO MYSTERY
Protect an adult married woman from herself? From collecting unofficial Christmas gift from her male boss and from hanging out with friends?
DeleteYou guys don’t understand poster! It feels like his man don’t really give a damn. A little bit of jealousy is healthy in a marriage. For him not to say something from a man sending money to her says a lot. Unless he trusts her enough to use her head or he’s got his own female best friend or he just doesn’t want to deal with any argument because who knows maybe poster get razor disrespectful mouth. π Poster you’ll be the judge of how your trust level is with each other. Ps: stop the nonsense of asking your boss for money in a joking way! Respect your self damn it! I mean what fcukery* is this begging for Money. Na wa for a lot of you naija women and just always feeling the need to ask men for money!!!
ReplyDeleteWhy would he shut down your explanation or even not care where you are or how long you stay with your friends?? . Hmmm have a sit down conversation with him poster about how you feel. Only if it’s necessary. If you guys are good in your marriage, and there’s a good level of trust, then let it be. Again, not showing any type of care is somewhat off. Snoop on his phone one of these days and you’ll probably find the answers you’re looking for. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteWhat do women really want in life, you should enjoy your marriage and forget about looking for trouble.
ReplyDelete