Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmm....

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

SHOCKING

Good day Stella, . I have a story I want to share with you. It is my personal story .
I was a head usher in a fellowship called the Abiding Word Gathering in University of Nigeria, Enugu Campus in 1999. In year 2000 something happened. I had a crush on my classmate and a fellowship brother

For 22 years I have been on psychiatric medication and every year for 22 years he and his family have been coming to watch me and oppress me saying that they have come to marry me.
The attached is a breakdown of part of my experience in the past 22 years .


Thank you in advance for sharing my story with the world


The average person is self-righteous and eager to castigate or put down people
without giving them an opportunity to be heard or worse still the church as I see it is eager to throw away its wounded soldiers under the bus. There is not an iota of compassion in people. People are quick to judge others, to mock others, to laugh at others who make mistakes or fall by the side of the road. What happened to correcting people in love. DOG EATS DOG....

For the records, my name is ****** *********, I made an honest mistake for which I have tried severally to explain myself. I know that by doing this I am putting myself out there and leaving myself open to a lot of negativity. 

For the records I have given my life to Christ before the incident. Not once, or twice but thrice. While I admit that I was careless. Yes, careless I just felt once saved always saved. I have to get this out there because it has gone on for too long and it has affected my life negatively and kept me bound for 21 years and most painfully, I have lost my youth and can never get it back. 

My biological clock has also timed out on me meaning I may never have biological children of my own. They say it is a proud love, a powerful love.

Truth is I never chose this it happened on me. For the records I did not actually like this young man because I saw him as a snob. I did not consciously choose him.

Failure is an event not a destination. We can learn from any and every situation or
challenge. No experience is wasted. God orders our steps all the time it’s just that
we do not really pay attention. And God does answer prayers so we should be careful what we ask for. I remember praying passionately long ago when I was much younger.

I asked God to give me a man that would love me when there was absolutely nothing loveable about me, unconditionally. While I may not know if that is this case, I do know that God orchestrates things in ways only He can. He is a master orchestrator.

In all things, all things work together for the good of those who love God and who
are called according to His purpose. I have seen the hand of God but in all I judge
Him faithful because that is what He is.

I have come to see how human and clueless we are as humans. We judge from our own flawed perceptions. We of course question what we do not understand which is normal but God does not make mistakes. He is all knowing.
The worse part is that I have a clear conscience. I am not out to deceive anyone or lie to anyone yet I am treated like a criminal.

People are running around me shouting the grace of God, Grace of God but they really don’t know what it is all about.
I have learnt not to seek validation from man/men. I have learnt not to be a people pleaser and I have learnt to trust God even when the earth has caved in around me.

I have lost over twenty years of my life My youth just because the persons I had in my circle were all childish, immature and petty and cunning and smart in their own eyes.
The church is really not a healthy place. The church is the worst place to fall by the side of the road.

They came in their large numbers, they watched me closely for 24 hours yes 24
hours (round the clock) in a day for many months every year for 21 years and
counting. They came in their large numbers to watch me and make fun of me for 21 years while I was placed on Psychiatric medication and went from church to church and psychiatrist to psychiatrist while they told me that I was hallucinating.

They watched me bath, dress up, go to toilet and do everything I have to do as a
person. They were worse than big brother which I suspect they no doubt openly
condemn. This was like big brother only in my case it was and is uncensored, raw.
I had no privacy and when I woke up at night, it was to their voices and keen eyes watching me, psychoanalyzing me, mocking me. It was and still is fun to them. It was a sight to behold. They harassed me, bullied me for 24 hours a day ,7 days a week, and for months on ends at no time less than 2-3 months at a time.

They kept taunting me with the fact that I was an ajekpako. They made sure they followed me everywhere and told everyone around that I was an ajekpako and that I was a head usher who got born again to marry a boy. I was harassed by people as I walked on the road especially when I went to the market. As I walked through the market, the whole market people are mocking me, making snide remarks and starring at me with disdain and plain malice. People are mocking me for being from a poor home; mocking me for being unmarried, I am getting mocking looks. 

People greet me with mockery and scorn and laughter in their voices.” Born again to man, Born again to boy, a whole chief usher. This lasts for up to 3-4 months every time, every year for 21years now and still counting. Doctors make side comments like ‘naughty children’ and place me on psychiatric medication while they laugh at me in the background. 

It got so bad that I attempted suicide. I took a total of about 24 tablets of my psychiatric drugs:

I was lucky, even the psychiatrist I was taken to told me I was lucky to be alive.
Obviously, God didn’t want me dead yet. I slept in the shower while bathing because of the effects of the excess medication in my system. I have had to go through the process of getting stabilized on psychiatric drugs while in a haze most of the time with various side effects including having my tongue stick out from my mouth, walking around feeling like I was walking on air like a Zombie, and my reflexes being messed up under the influence of the medication. 

Being grounded for months while I try to stabilize on the medication. It has affected my career, my health, my faith in a way, my relationships and I have been unable to settle down. This did not stop them as they laughed it off saying that it was a very powerful love. Natural Love they called it. Abiding love according to them.

They follow me to church, to the office, they follow me everywhere I went an made sure they made a scene and got everyone around to make me feel uncomfortable.

Their aim was to embarrass me. They keep saying ‘keep embarrassing her’. So far, I have attended a number of churches. While in church they stay outside shouting that this lady got born again to marry a boy. This lady got born again to boy and is not a Christian. This happened continuously for 21years and still counting.

They even got a preacher that comes to do morning cry targeted at me. Because I
am supposed to be a fraud in church. I cannot be a real Christian, I got born again to marry a boy and I am always natural according to them I am Natural born again.

When I tried to pray or study the word, they kept harassing me and calling me ‘spiri’ That I was behaving as if I got born again to God, that I was born again to boy.

I was actually an object of public ridicule and display. An object of scorn to them.
People came from all over in their cars to watch me and laugh at me, to mock me and watch me go through my everyday life activities. I lost my privacy. For 21 years all

I did in the privacy of my house was being watched by a large number of people, men and women. They are the members of the church as we know it. They also watched my nieces, my mother (may her soul rest in peace), my sisters, and my female friends that were with me. They were collateral damage. They have seen the nakedness of all the women in my life. All people’s wives, mothers and daughters.

The office I worked at was broken into as a result of their activities and monies,
laptops and other valuables were carted away because they made us vulnerable.

They watched my mother and laughed at her and made fun of her and my poor
background.

My neighbours on both sides and around opened up their houses and welcomed them into their houses and haboured them for months on end while they pretended like nothing was happening. People I considered to be like mother figures supposedly watched while I was dehumanized and abused emotionally, psychologically, physically and spiritually while I was tagged a mentally ill woman. Instead, they pretended to pray for me.

They called me a’ wayo woman’, a deceitful woman and said I was a perfectionist
though I would make a good wife but their son can never marry a woman like me.
They mocked me while I ate and called me an ajekpako who was behaving like an
ajebutter and taunted me saying that I was a foolish, hopeless, local ajekpako, local village girl.

I have not been able to function normally or live a normal life. They have haunted me and harassed me right from my call to bar, my national youth service especially while at the orientation camp and thereafter. At family occasions, especially in church. I have seen terrible things in church. They mock me saying ‘na lawyer’. I was like a pawn, still am. They camp in my neighbour’s houses and make fun of me. They find the whole thing entertaining and funny. Men watching my nakedness without any reservations.

 These are fathers, husbands, pastors. They have even watched my
sisters, nieces and female friends naked. It has been a real circus for them. They
have derived great comfort in seeing me suffer, in my humiliation. People murmur
wherever I went and wherever I go as it is still ongoing. People look at me with hate in their eyes while a lot of others laugh at me openly while they make a show of greeting me.

I have seen the church the way it is. Even those around me.
I remember going for a meeting of my classmates at a conference in Lagos and my classmates mostly the men were all laughing at me and making fun of me behind my back.
Twenty-one years. Some even invite me to join them for online prayers as they were receiving miracles.

They call me hopeless madam perfect

I realize that it is the grace of God that has sustained me so far. Yes, I fall into
depression because of the effects continuously.

They keep repeating’ this girl is dangerous. I have understood Madam perfect. This girl was head usher. This really true o. This is born again love. They keep debating among themselves that ‘she is too natural, always natural, she is born again to man, this one na chief usher. This na wayo girl. ‘Mba mba nga happu’ ‘o nwanyi’ this foolish girl can never marry my brother. This is the most dangerous woman on earth. 

You don marry o, this is the power of God. Very proud girl. This is a whole chief Usher, well done bo. Congratulations. Happu your wife, this one is always natural. Na born again for wife. They keep debating among themselves whether this girl has been born again before or whether she has never been born again before. I wonder if that fact depends on what they are saying or it depends on the true position which is a matter of fact. All that is needed to ask a simple question. A fact is actually a fact because it is a fact. It is not dependent on what people think or don’t think, say or don’t say.

It is simply what it is A FACT. At the end of the day what this is all about is a family with extensive resources and means playing God over a helpless less fortunate woman who does not come with a pedigree or from a family with means. 

At the bottom of it all is class, ethnicity and discrimination. The fact that a certain action or set of actions can be taken does not mean that they should be taken. Your right as a person stops where the other person’s right starts. Even as Christians, the bible is actually the standard and has spelt out what to do in every situation.

Let me keep reading this and comments until i understand it better...