STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THE BOYFRIENDS EX
I've been reading about divorce chronicles, I never thought I'd be in one....
I've been reading about divorce chronicles, I never thought I'd be in one....
I notice my divorced boyfriends wife comes around with the kids for visits and stays till it's over.
I'm like she can drop them and leave, my boyfriend will bring them later, or she can come and pick them later, he refused and said that she can stay as long as they stay, you can still see the chemistry between them, all chatty and laughing.
I feel like a 3rd wheel, a tad bit insecure, olorun!..... What should i do?
Hmmmm this is the big test for you.... I hope you are not the type that wants your man not to talk to his ex anymore? What they have going is very healthy and I commend both of them for that..... There are some women that do not leave their kids alone with anyone to avoid stories that touch, you will understand when you start making babies.....
Leave them alone but stay around where they are and join in their conversation when and if necessary... Show her you are the new Boss subtly but be nice to her cos you dont even know if your bobo has serious plans for you....
So you can see chemistry between them and you are still asking Jamb Kweshun okwaya.
ReplyDeleteHer presence will always hang like an albatross between you and your boyfriend.
Also note that some couples bond due to separation.
When you consider Okafor's law, the chemistry between them, the kids, plus your valid feelings of insecurity, red flags everywhere.
Sister, I think you should gradually disengage yourself from that relationship.
So assuming you were the one divorced. Would your boyfriend allow you to go to your ex husband's house with your kids and stay as long as you like?
DeleteBe asking stewpid questions like a toddler?
Seconded.
DeleteIs this even a relationship or ya'll are just sleepn together? That man has no regard for u. A man dat has regard and respect for u will never do this. D ones with sense will even hide and do, maybe let her stay when ur not around. He doesnt rate u
DeleteIt's a situation I don't pray to be in.
ReplyDeleteBut stay woke and allow dem have their friendly time together, it's healthy of the kids and the adults.
Just stay woke and be calm, relationship no be by force.
If he needs you he will definitely behave well and remain yours.
Follow your instincts.
ReplyDeleteFeeling like the 3rd wheel in a relationship is never healthy.
Nah mehn
ReplyDeleteMove on and find someone else
He’s not ready to have boundaries. Don’t add yourself to anything that takes your peace. A man that cares for you cares for your peace. He’s doing what works for him. You move on and go do what works for you
Poster please take this advice
DeleteHe is a selfish and inconsiderate man
DeleteJust detach yourself from that relationship. That man is not ready to settle down with anyone yet just wanna have a sex lover.
DeleteYou better carry your two left leg out of the relationship cos if you marry will she be coming to stay? You better waka fast out now, they’ll soon start knacking sef
ReplyDeleteIf they have not already, the way the man is handling it even if she married him there will never be boundaries.
DeleteAbi ooo. Poster move quickly, those ones are on their way to reconciling of at least being friendly enough she gets mire attention than you do.
DeleteRecipe for disaster loading.
You might need to reevaluate your relationship with your boyfriend.If he wants to take it a step further(marry you)then there has to be boundaries and respect of space but if not,that’s when these kind of things happen.I’m a man so I know these things.So you might be dating yourself and your boyfriend might just be keeping you for knacks.
ReplyDeleteHe's obviously only keeping her for knacks.
DeleteWhat utter, smelling disrespect.
Poster if you feel you cannot condo your bf and his ex please just pack your load and keep moving because what you are seeing is an intro the real one is coming. But if you feel that you are okay with them and you can cope with both then you can join them.
ReplyDeleteRemember don't ignore the signs you see now and feel that after marriage he will change or she will stop coming around.
Lastly, please define what you both share, be sure he wants you forever, do not assume something serious is coming out when Oga hasn't define what he wants.
Please leave that situation you will be worn out. How long will you watch them? You will never find peace in that kind of relationship. You may even discover that they are still having sex. Please leave.
ReplyDeleteIs he the only man on earth? Why are you still with this man who is putting his ex wife's feelings above yours? My dear, leave that man this very minute.
ReplyDeleteYour feelings are very valid and seriously coparenting should also be done with the feelings of the new partner in mind.
ReplyDeleteThis is how it starts sha. They all hang out together, they remember good old days together and before u know it, one thing leads to another and the ex wife is pregnant again for him.
If ur partner can’t create a healthy boundary between himself and his ex, you probably have a much more bigger problem at hand.
That is if they are not having sex already . She should leave now because it ll get worse.
DeleteCarry ya sef comot for dat relationship oo, so u won’t get hurt later, at least u still dy see chemistry before e go enter physics 😂😂
ReplyDeleteLol I tell you, poster abeg leave now before you cry later.
Delete😆😆😆😆😆 POSTER LEAVE. I don't know how you have coped this far.
DeleteAbi proper biology.
DeleteNa biology I dey see for front sef 😅😅
DeleteIf you have a problem with her coming over and you feel you see the chemistry, madam vamoze cos you never see boy friend. Leave the man alone cos nothing will change after he marries you. You will be the frustrated and nagging wife.
ReplyDeleteHe wants to eat his cake and have it
DeleteNo respect
No boundaries
It's a big NO for me.
ReplyDeletePlease pack your bags and leave the situationship. If you don't leave, you will be tortured emotionally knowingly or unknowingly cos that man is not ready to set boundaries, he doesn't care about your own feelings. Don't forget, you'll forever be his second choice.
However, if youre cool with it, you can stay and dont complain. But if you can't endure, run as fast as you can out of that situationship!
You have to be strong emotionally to marry a divorcee.
She is staying around bcoz she sees u there, and if u marry ur bobo nko, that means u will see worse, she is not meant to stay over, drop ur kids and move simple, u are seeing the signs yet u are still asking questions, continue. This woman is already competing with u, as per I'm still the number one in his heart and house, meanwhile what are u doing with a man with kids, madam repackage inugo for a fresh guy jaree, not one papa mmadu dat wants to eat his cake and have it, inukwa co-wive, soon she will carry belle again, this kind of closeness btwn separated couples brings tension in the lives of their partners, if u have the mind continue, if not quit, for the fact she is still single, she will keep causing u sleepness night, if she is married, the husband will not tolerate the sleepover. Do what will give u peace of mind
ReplyDeletePlease leave this relationship, it's not healthy at all. Your mental health will take a nosedive if you continue to watch them get all chatty, friendly and leave you out of it.
ReplyDeleteYou'll gradually become unsure of yourself and before you say 'Jack', you have become a nag, vengeful, insecure and bitter. Take a walk!
🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteSo as I am now, I should be teaching a grown ass man how to maintain boundaries.
ReplyDeleteLemaaaaaooooooo.
These men will test YOUR OWN BOUNDARIES. They want to see want to see want they can get away with, so they will constantly the most shitty, disrespectful, idiotic things all in a bid to push your buttons and then gaslight you.
If you have a healthy amount of self respect you won't let these clowns get away with it.
Rubbish.
Many Nigerian men are very selfish and want to eat their cake and have it
DeleteShe's afraid to drop her kids with her their biological dad?
ReplyDeletePls poster move on
Happened to my boss
ReplyDeleteEngaged to a divorcee
Woke up one day and heard that his ex is pregnant for him
She broke up, bros was still begging, stopped begging when ex had twins and moved back in .
My Boss almost ran mental
Poster hope you can see how it will end
DeleteNasty selfish man
DeleteHow did you cope all this while poster?
ReplyDeleteYou better carry your slippers now that you still can without any Belle/entanglement o..
Me that love jealously can't even stay one week in this kind of relationship without boundaries.haba!
That man no be the only man in this world Biko!
Leave, you deserve better!
ReplyDeleteAbeg leave tge the relationship for your sanity sake. I'll just be hysterical every now and then for a relationship, not even marriage o. God abeg o I no get strength
ReplyDeleteSome divorcees sha!
ReplyDeleteMadam move. Go look for your husband. Or make youself available to be found by your husband.
Your boyfriend's wife. Yes, his wife is not ready to share her husband with you.
Some people are like the wife. If they cannot get and keep it, they spoil it for everybody else.
And your boyfriend wants to continue as a closet husband of two wives - one wife in the house, another wife outside as side chick faking as divorced wife.
You can stay on if you do not mind being married as a co-wife because even if she stops staying over, she would continue until she sees a man far far better than her husband and she is not greedy enough to eat from both men.
Best wishes.
Mr. Mann.
Anything you are doing that affects your peace is not worth it.
ReplyDeleteI will advice you to leave the situationship because he still love his ex and probably they might be knacking at the same time.
ReplyDeleteIf I were you, I'll leave. This is almost like polygamy
ReplyDeleteGreedy man
DeleteHoney when you decide to date a divorcee especially one with kids you have to be ready to deal with the bagages and believe that your partner your loves you enough to stand by you.
ReplyDeleteThey have a history together. It doesn't matter how good or bad it ended. They share kids. She'll always be present. If you were a parent, will you leave your kids??? My dear you're being very selfish. Even if she doesn't stay in his house it will be phone calls or hospital visits or day outs.
Simply ask yourself if it's something you can deal with. If you can't then walk away. Don't remain in his life and make him distant from his kids. If you can't deal then walk away. It's that simple
Na lie!!! Poster is not being selfish. Will that ex-wife still be hanging around that man if she were happily married to another man?
DeleteEx-wives who around their ex like this have 2 plans, they are either hoping things will work out with their ex and they can rekindle OR they just do not want the man to move on to someone else, not necessarily because they want to move back in (they will keep subtly frustrating the new girlfriend till that one packs her load an leaves) and then leave the man high and dry when they themselves finally find another man to settle with.
Poster your feeling is very very valid.
Blame your man who has chosen to not respect your presence and keep his ex where he belongs.
This thing you have said does it make sense even to you? So the ex wife will bring the children over from her her house to her ex husband's house and then sit down in the living room and balance to do what exactly? Not minding the presence of the current fiance of the man?
DeleteWhich play does she want to play with the children that she cannot play in her own house?
Which play does she want to play with her ex husband that she could not play when they were married???
Does that make sense to you?
Does it?
I'm married to a man with 2 kids from a previous marriage and I have never experienced this nonsense, he doesn't even relate with the ex wife at all as he does things for his kids directly and not through her. This ex wife is playing a game and it's either the man doesn't regard the poster or he enjoys having women fight over him, either way, the man isn't serious about setting boundaries.
DeleteMy sis. pace of min is very important in relationship o lava that man.
ReplyDeleteWhy stay over with the kids?
ReplyDeleteAbeg getat of the relationship.
I will advice you to leave the relationship, the bond between them can not be broken and it may affect you mentally when you finally get married,nah red flag you dey see o,no be carnival
ReplyDeleteThe red flag is showing itself now . My dear, na wetin eye they see be that for divorcee hand be that. It's tough. If you are ready for the emotional issue carry on but if you are like me who is poss BBessive. Please leave
ReplyDeleteMove on...you deserve better
ReplyDelete