MONDAY In House News...

 Hailings oh

IN HOUSE MEMO

How una dey my dear people? 

Enjoy your day!

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FROM SUNDAY CHRONICLE POSTER


Good morning Stella and my fellow Beevees.


Thank you Stella for sharing my chronicle yesterday and sharing your opinion. I sincerely appreciate ma'am, God bless you enormously. Read through the comments and I truly cherish all your responses. To all those who shared their experiences, thank you do much. Honestly, I felt different reading through it all.




Thanks to those who cheered and encouraged me, your words were like medicine to my soul. Truth is that I hardly make friends or allow people access to my life but when I eventually do, I give myself off selflessly. To those who insinuated one thing or the other, thanks for the insinuations. I never expected less when I decided to send in that post so, your points are welcome too. And to answer your questions, no, we were not lesbian partners. Me not sharing the story of what happened doesn't also mean I did something or she called it off, I will send the story to Stella if and when I'm ready. Thanks all the same for your contribution. I wish us all a happy ending today and a glorious beginning tomorrow.




OK!




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INSIDE THE MIND OF A WOMAN GOING THROUGH MOTHERHOOD.


A week ago, I was lying on my bed snacking when suddenly something hit me in the face. I was in so much pain that I flung my food away.

The pain was blinding, I looked up only to see that my little boo had flung my phone at me, within minutes a bump had formed on my forehead.

I screamed at my sister to take the boy away from me so I don’t hit him in anger because the day before while he was playing with some beads, he was swinging it around and it caught me in my face.

I was still nursing that pain when this happened. I literally saw stars, I used some pain killers and when I felt better I talked to him about throwing things and how it was bad.

He nodded and in his little voice said “sowie”. I patted myself in the back for being a gentle parent and not hitting him.

Later that evening I was doing the chores while he was playing around me and I saw him fling the phone he was holding. To my shock I didn’t know when I spanked him, as in old school whooping with my hands.


He was so shocked, it took him a while to cry..I really didn’t mean to spank him. I tried petting him after and gave some pep talk and apologised profusely but I wasn’t feeling guilty and I felt bad about that.


I really don’t want to go down the spanking road, I have started researching into mixing gentle parenting approach with a more traditional approach without the hitting and all.




Hahahahahahahha Ajebota mama...you are researching on spanking? I could never really spank my bambinos back then cos they were so cute that after misbehaving, their eyes melted me...LOL

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PINKYS CORNER


Okada has been a good means of transportation for everyone and it's importance can't be over-emphasized But it's so annoying seeing some hausa okada riders doing things as if they have plan to die when leaving their respective homes.


On Wednesday evening, there was a program in church and also, we the Redeemers are preparing for what we call Family weekend and there is always a uniformity in this all over the world.

 There was a woman in the church and the husband was the one preaching.


Though, the husband has warned her not to leave her seat until the "Grace of God" has been said by everyone. The husband was still praying when one of the Zonal/Province Pastor's wife called her on phone to bring the family cloth outside because she can't cross over to the other side of the main road, so, she will have to park ,then this woman will cross over to give her the cloth.


She then went against her husband's order and left the church to deliver the cloth, as she was about about to cross over to the other side of the road around 7pm, a hausa bike man who was on speed knocked her down and the rest was stories. She was rushed to the hospital (UCH). She went into coma and we were informed. Myself, the husband and other people got to the emergency Unit and what we saw was beyond our comprehension. We asked about the okada rider and we were told he is dead already.


Mummy, has been in coma since then, several tests, scan and lots more has been done, a lot of money has gone into this. The result of the scan was delivered yesterday and we were told there is a crack on the skull which means, she will be going for surgery(#1m) because she has failed to open her eyes but she is still responding to pains(she can lift her hands and legs but the eyes is not opening and she can't even hear anything).


This woman who called her cannot even pay for hospital card(claiming she has no money) until the husband came over.. Oh, what a great attitude (I won't go further on this).

It's so painful and I feel it's time to stop these bike men in some places. We were still talking about the issue when they brought a young girl of 11years who was knocked down by another hausa bike man taking a wrong way. The little girl was announced Dead On Arrival 


I have not been happy ever since and I feel so bad, not only that, my week was just somehow since I went to the emergency Unit at UCH.


Lastly, I saw someone I also know(a young woman), who stays in Lagos and was traveling to Ekiti state when they had an accident on her way. She was in an 18 seater bus. Guess what? she is the only one who survived, all passengers lost their lives except her. she is presently responding to treatment though she is placed on oxygen.

Why won't we be grateful, thankful and give God the glory because he only is the God of grace and mercy. Don't forget to always give thanks even if he has not done anything for you but being alive is one testimony on its own.


We move

I thought they banned Okada? This is really scary news.... Please if there is anyone here that takes Okada, please check who the rider is before you get on....

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IJAYS GIST CORNER

NKUTA NWANYI 

   Nkuta Nwanyi means having a concubine, legitimate concubine. It's legit because our tradition permits it. To the elders, it makes a widow stick to one man and so it is wholly accepted. 

   In some traditions, when a husband dies, his blood brother inherits his wife. It's really not so where I come from. In my tradition, the widow has a right to choose whom to be with, marry or remain single 

 

     So,  when a husband dies and mourning is over, another married man can decide to have her as a concubine or mistress. If it pleases her, she'll accept and it will be made official.  And no, he doesn't have to pay her dowry and she too won't move in to his house, she's free to stay in her late husband's house while her new lover visits and also caters for her kids. 

Yes, he adopts her kids, provides their needs and whatever he gives to his legit wife/wives, he gives her too. Knowing that he's adopted the widow and her kids, her late husband's family do not have the right to trouble her and even if they try to,  people will defend her and ask if the late hubby's family will cater for her and the kids. So they'll have no option but to back off, well except the stubborn and jealous ones

    During farming season, her Manfriend apportions her a piece of land alongside his wife/wives

   Nkuta Nwanyi has been an age long tradition which favours some widows as it helps them to raise the kids without stress, knowing there's someone to fill in the gap of their late husbands.

     However, some evil and covetous men see it as an avenue to carry out their wicked acts.  I heard that as men age, their libido and hunger for s*x increases. Some go extra miles to quench this s*xtual thirst not minding the consequences of their actions.  When they see that a husband is  a barrier to 'chopping' the wife, they take him out. And when the husband is no more, they have all the time in the world to be with his widow

   Another disadvantage of having a concubine is that when the man dies, and the kids are grown, there's plenty rivalry, they fight over lands. His legit kids will want to take what rightfully belongs to them, while the other kids see it as a gift to their mother, her prize for being a concubine and should protect it, to them, it's rightfully theirs too.  And before you know it, land case don start oh and can lead to deaths, some even go as far as closing down a lineage. 

     Some land cases in my town are as a result of Nkuta Nwanyi. They'll have these women for pleasure and when they're no more, the kids fights bloody.

 Some in their life time had 'sweet and itchy jingle bells', and apart from having concubines, had 'other women' too. And these women being 'smart'(according to them), will make them gift portions of land for some minutes of pleasure and before you say Jack, they'll pass the land to their kids and commotion sets in because there's non left for their biological kids to inherit. And  the fight for ownership  continues to generations 

   A lot of people are wiser today as they no longer cause problems for their families in the cause of having concubines. Na 'one-off' dem dey do now 

  A man in my community was buried some years back, he had plenty concubines and his kids were really not happy about it. They went through the stress of having to fight plenty people to get back their Father's land which didn't really favour them. All these were happening while he was still alive.  He kids were always rubbing his mistakes in his face and as an old man he couldn't do much. 

 He was afraid his kids won't give him a befitting burial, so when he fell ill and maybe knew he won't make it. In their absence he sold plots of land and sent the money to his sons to use for his funeral, he died eventually. The same kids that were angry with him, seeing the plenty cash he kept, termed him their hero and gave him the befitting burial he wished for 

  Talking about dead people leaving money for their kids, i'm  a witness to it. My encounters with mum is actually a full book, she told me where she kept some cash, yeah. Maybe one day I'll write about it/them

  Some months ago, some one in the area lost his mum. His siblings were doing better than him and guy was crying for money to carry out the rites assigned to him. He's mum told him where she kept her savings in a dream. Naso the guy happy wella because he did his rites and even had some change ....

Na wah for this kind tradition oooooh.

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