Interesting topic!
Earlier in the week I saw a video of a mother and child wherein the super excited mum who had gone for the son's graduation ceremony with a ribbon wreath in her hands was shunned by the son. Poor woman! I learnt that the boy in his response later stated that he found the mother's act embarrassing so he elected to walk away from the scene.
This same week, I honoured an invitation from my teenage son's school. The event was scheduled for 9.15am but his resumption time is 8.27am yet I decided to go with him. Meaning that I was some minutes early. We boarded the same bus and immediately we alighted from the bus he met two of his friends at the bus station. (Where I live, boarding a bus or train is no big deal.)
You needed to have seen the way the two boys practically "dragged" him away.
Initially, on one hand, the African father in me was enraged. What rubbish! Didn't they see me, his dad? They couldn't even respect me. LOL. On the other hand, I braced up and just excused myself from the scene.
I walked down the road and ensured that the young man saw the back of my head. Deep down, I knew that the boy was glad to watch me leave the scene so that he could live his life. At that point, I appreciated the fact that he was an individual who had his life to live and I didn't have to either kill his joy or subject him to mockery before his friends, not because I was not looking good or that he wasn't proud of me. After all, I was wearing a "Tommy Hilfiger" shirt, jacket and a "Nike Max" footwear. My Sunday best. LOL.
My late father would have acted differently though, he would have compelled those kids to come and genuflect before him and he would have interrogated them, like who is your father, what does your mum do? But unfortunately, things have changed and these kids live in the "West" so one must tread with caution.
However, my teenage son later made my day. In his school, students are allowed to come in with their mobile phones but they must switch them off and drop the phones somewhere during school hours. The lad ensured that he sent me an SMS before stepping into school. "Daddy, make sure you come in through the main entrance. Do have a great time here. Luv you." This gave me some reassurances honestly. He's still proud of me and I'm relevant in his life.
Sometimes, as parents we fail to realise the fact that these kids are individuals and they have their own lives to live. We are here to guide them and to raise them and as they progress we need to get to know them, understand them and know what they like and loathe.
My late father would have acted differently though, he would have compelled those kids to come and genuflect before him and he would have interrogated them, like who is your father, what does your mum do? But unfortunately, things have changed and these kids live in the "West" so one must tread with caution.
However, my teenage son later made my day. In his school, students are allowed to come in with their mobile phones but they must switch them off and drop the phones somewhere during school hours. The lad ensured that he sent me an SMS before stepping into school. "Daddy, make sure you come in through the main entrance. Do have a great time here. Luv you." This gave me some reassurances honestly. He's still proud of me and I'm relevant in his life.
Sometimes, as parents we fail to realise the fact that these kids are individuals and they have their own lives to live. We are here to guide them and to raise them and as they progress we need to get to know them, understand them and know what they like and loathe.
My daughter would have acted differently though, not only because she's a girl, but because we have a stronger bond in that regard and she's more attached to me even than the mum and she's this "showy" type who would have loved her friends to meet her dad. It doesn't necessarily follow that I don't have a stronger bond with the boy in other regards, but he just loves being independent and I very much appreciate that fact.
After all, my mother followed me to school for registration in my 100 level and I enjoyed every bit of it. Course mates who saw her had a good laugh for the rest of my stay at the university but I couldn't be bothered.
Rather than being judgmental, I've chosen to see what transpired between that mum and son through the prism of my own life.
After all, my mother followed me to school for registration in my 100 level and I enjoyed every bit of it. Course mates who saw her had a good laugh for the rest of my stay at the university but I couldn't be bothered.
Rather than being judgmental, I've chosen to see what transpired between that mum and son through the prism of my own life.
Nice One...
ReplyDeleteribbon bouquet. a wreath is for burial/mourning
DeleteInteresting read. Parenting in this present time needs wisdom because things have really changed as a result of technology. May God help every parent to get it right.
ReplyDeleteTrue parents have to try to understand and allow their children to be themselves as they keep on guarding them by the side.
DeleteAs a single mom, it's was really hard at first for me to understand things, with my daughter and she is very out spoken, sometimes when am all acting mushy 😉 in public trying to hug her when she travelling alone without me, when I visit her in school or when she's with her friends, she always whisper Mummy you are embarrassing me or Mummy am no longer a baby.
At first I felt bad because although I use to feel that way while I was growing up as a child, mostly with my Mum but never voice it out 🤣
But now am beginning to learn how to let her be. Funny 😀😀😀
I felt really bad for that mother.
ReplyDeleteNo words for the son though
The son embarrassed the mother😢😥, I wish he show remorse when he realised his actions.☺️
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is more attached to my husband,girls are closer to their Fathers.
ReplyDeleteEvery parents should read this. A time will come when the kids would have to go.. Let them go.
ReplyDeleteNo be all these ones wey dey even select girlfriend for their boys.
How time has changed indeed
ReplyDeleteI pity the mother sha.
ReplyDeleteThis time, every parent needs to keep, unlearning, learning and relearning. Times are changing.
Interesting piece, but my mum will never understand the independent language,her bond with me is so great being an only daughter. She’s always in my business, tho am married and my hubby has come to love her like that.Even during my antenatal visits to the hospital she goes with me and parades herself.I have tried talking to her about it but she’s not changing my hubby is so cool with it and it’s not even helping matters.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful and insightful. This 21st century parenting is only for the wise o.
Delete@Anon 15:16, 😂 sorry I had to laugh. I just imagined how your mum parades herself in the hospital and comes back to sit with you.
Parenting is not easy, welcome sir for understanding.
ReplyDeleteParenting is not easy, Weldon sir for your understanding.
ReplyDeleteVery educative, thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteGreat read. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDelete