Hmm....
PCOS SHOCK
Hello Stella,
Thanks for this wonderful community you have created.
I informed my partner of almost two years that I had a case of PCOS and might need medical assistance to conceive. He kept cool and asked me questions while the discussion lasted, and frowned about me just informing him.
He asked me to go to the hospital to start possible treatment, but he has been acting cold towards me afterwards. Should I be worried?
I need suggestions on how to go about it, should I start with a government hospital/private? I am 31.
Hmmmm he is acting cold? Give him time to get over the shock of your news. Maybe he has discussed it with someone and has been told that you may have some difficulties with conception... Why dont you have a talk with him if you discover he is acting cold towards you?
If you ask me , i dont think you should have told him now, some men dont know how to handle news like this and may even break up with you.....You have acted as if Doc just told after he has married you and not before..#my2cents
Follow Stella's advice. Wishing you the best outcome
ReplyDeleteMy dear, put on your glasses and eye drops and read the writing on the wall.
DeleteThat one only needs you for your womb.
The fact that he is sending you to hospital without even offering to come along (abi does he work Saturday and Sunday) shows that he considers it YOUR problem not his.
I personally suggest you don't go forward into marriage with this your 'partner', I assume by 'partner' you mean man friend not husband). Because that one is not going to be there 'for better or worse'.
Ofcourse you will not listen to this advice and it's ok, maybe it might be of help to someone who is reading it.
Selfish people indicate their selfishness through actions and inactions
DeleteSelfish people indicate their selfishness through actions and inactions
DeleteThe thing with pcos is, it's is not set in stone that you can't conceive without medical intervention. Sometimes With the right supps, you go just born full house. See Beckham wife, she has it and didn't know until her 4th kid.
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteReally it usually isn't much of a problem especially if you're ovulating or they are able to induce ovulation.
DeletePoster there's no need to worry, you'll be fine. And it's normal that your man is still processing the news, people don't know how to take news like that, but I believe he'll calm down soon
Honestly, I was diagnosed with pcos before marriage, never had sex prior so didn't even understand properly. Na touch and follow dem dey call me cos I get pregnant every time and mind u, I never took any medication. Calm down poster you might be able to conceive without wahala.
DeleteContinue the treatment while you sort out the relationship if it can be sorted out. If not, continue the treatment . Have a talk with him and know his stance.
ReplyDeleteWhat a coincidence! I'm about to tell my partner mine but I'm worried cause I don't see my period anymore(since June) and don't ovulate either. I'm just 35. Lord, take control.
DeleteHi, Anon 16.57 I was in the same boat. (I say "was" because I speak positively into my life. I did not see my period for 3 months late last year and then it came in February and March and then since then not seen it. Went to the gynae and they said it was peri-menopause. Meaning its the premature menopause due to low eggs. From research, it seems this happens for a few years before menopause happens for some months final menopause. Doc says to start trying for a child soon. He also suggested IVF because of possible low number of follicles if he tries to harvest the eggs. He says also that if there is no egg, that's where donation can be explored and that its very rampant. Had to do a check on my womb to make sure all is well in that regard, and it is. I guess you can visit a doc and make some research. Thought to share this so when you speak to your partner you don't sound all doom and gloom. If he is enlightened and truly loves you, he would be OK with exploring alternatives like (1) an egg harvesting trial, (2) getting donor from your siblings (if you want to keep it in the family ... or even donor from a biracial person race if you fancy that, or (3) praying, fasting and believing in God for your own miracle child. I HAVE HEARD WONDERFUL AND UNBELIEVABLE TESTIMONIES about people who had same condition and ovulated once enough for them to birth twins. It does not have to be a dealbreaker. Unfortunately, my partner's reaction did not give me the comfort I needed so I moved on. In the end, my philosophy is that a child should be an additional blessing in my relationship and not the focus. The first two must be service to God with the much He has blessed me with and then true companionship. So having a partner that has same mindset is important. Hope this helps you. Much love Blue Sapphire xxx
DeleteMost men won't take such likely, try and visit a gynecologist for immediate treatment. I'm of the opinion you shouldn't have told him now, you might even be lucky to conceive immediately after wedding. Wish you all the best
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Won’t take such lightly*
DeletePlease, how much is ivf now in Lagos?
DeleteHe won’t take it lightly because? He creates human beings? Avoid me Biko, poster what God cannot does not exist!
DeleteYou should have told him earlier to save yourself the stress and time waste.
ReplyDeleteExactly my thoughts. Poster just have it at the back of your mind that this Oga might break up with you or not, however focus on your treatment ,may God heal you.
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DeleteNumero they are not married
DeleteRight.
DeleteJust like a man with low or sperm motility issues luring a lady without telling her from the onset that they could have serious challenges with having children.
Poster’s partner was deceived and is a victim here and his reaction is 💯 justified. No one likes to be deceived… especially by the one person who they should trust the most.
16:43 Some people read but comprehension is faaaaar from them.
DeleteVery far.
Deceived?
DeleteLow IQ men everywhere
poster i have pcos, there was a time i did not see my period for 4 months, even when i did i wasnt ovulating but God used a lady on instagram to help me with the right meal plan and supplement and am now a mum
DeletePCOS isn't a serious issue when it comes to conception.You and your partner should educate yourselves on the treatment.It's good you told him before marriage though.
ReplyDeleteIt could be an issue pls
DeleteYou should have told him earlier in the relationship. It's not all PCOS issues that requires medical intervention. You just might be surprised your case may be different. That being said, eat healthy, and take the necessary suppliment. Just stay healthy and you're good to go.
ReplyDeleteHe really shouldn't be bashed for his reaction. But I'm of the opinion that you should have informed him earlier. I read a story of someone (I know the husband) who has a medical condition that could affect her fertility and she told her husband when he approached her for a relationship and to the glory of God, they have a child together just a year after getting married.
DeleteSo it's really not a bad idea to inform a prospective partner of any thing that could later be an issue of concern in the relationship.
Better she told as done. Not all love can withstand health challenge of one or both partners especially at the early stages of the relationship when each can still walk away with lesser baggages.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being honest with him. This does not determine if you would conceive or not.. Try and find out what is going on in his mind..
ReplyDeleteStart treatment at once.
Hmm Poster I dunno how you broke the news to him based on the fact it was late...However, he feels you may have deceived him into the union...Please if you are afraid to vulnerable and open to someone you intend marrying then for me I believe you have no business marrying...Intimacy is not just about sex, but a soul-to-soul connection between two people, open communication e.t.c......
ReplyDeleteI shared my sister's testimony here last week...... PCOS is not a death sentence you can conceive....Remove anything negative from your mind first; allow him to process the news....The truth is most people differ on how they process some news for such magnitude....So I will advise you both to align and both of you should visit the hospital together YES ...I insist you go to the hospital with him cos both of you are in this together.....
Try to do something nice that he loves e.g prepare his favourite meal, game, gifts and have a heart-to-heart discussion with him, apologize for not sharing this information with him on time and work towards ensuring you achieve a common goal - having your babies...
I prefer you go to a specialist hospital to see a gynae....Please don't do this all alone...Pray to God to give you wisdom and please be open to each other..A problem shared is 70% solved...All the best...
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ReplyDeleteI actually support u telling him early so incase he can’t deal, he can walk away early enough for u to meet who will love u enough to go through it with u.
ReplyDeleteIf u are so sure that he’s ignoring you and it’s not in ur head, pls ignore him and focus on finding a solution for ur problem
You shouldn't have told him now. Get the right treatment you'd be fine God willing
ReplyDeleteSome gynecologist instil fear in people, pcos is not that hard, u can birth as many kids as u want, when followed up with the right measures, i believe u put it in such a terrifying form based on how ur gynea presented it to u, ur fiance will come around ok, he needs tym. U can still put it in prayers, he will be fyn
ReplyDeleteDon't worry yourself. Make efforts to treat yourself.
ReplyDeleteRead up on saw palmetto. It helps a lot
ReplyDeleteWhy did you keep it all to yourself right from the start?
ReplyDeleteYou no try rara
I am shocked at people telling her she shouldn't have told him now, like seriously? I likw giving people option of choice. Do you want to stay or go? 4 years was too long to keep such information from him and he has every right to be angry. That said, your condition is not your fault. Get the right treatment and you will be fine. If he doesn't want to be part of the jouney, let him go!
DeleteGoing to 2years not 4 years...
DeleteGo for PCOS treatment and please once you get married don't wait,get on with IVF abegg,people need to learn to face facts this days,I have a friend that had fibroid problems for years,she eventually operated and was waiting to get pregnant naturally afterwards, 7yrs she kept trying to get pregnant after she has been given the good to go by the Doctor,I said to her why wait this long when you could have just gone for IVF all these years,last month she became a mother of triplets(from IVF)
ReplyDeleteIVF for PCOS??? Stop spreading rubbish info!!
DeleteNothing too serious to worry, maybe you sounded too terrified telling him about the issue that's why he might feel you betrayed him.
ReplyDeleteyou should seek for medical attention in a private hospital if you have the money but if not visit a government hospital . Your man may end the relationship cos most men do not want to have a woman has any health challenge especially when they are not married.
ReplyDeleteYour case is different and you will over come it soon,
Allow him be annoyed small na. Tell him straight up that he seems cold and would he like some space.
ReplyDeleteI have PCOS, had the same fear especially with prolonged absence of period but by God's grace, i have 3 children now.
ReplyDeleteWhat you did was very wrong..
ReplyDeleteSomething you should have told him before the wedding..
I don't know why must of you must just be deceitful and cunning in your dealings and when the truth is finally out, you expect the person to be all smiles..
Omo, if I was him, I can end the marriage for this.. cos I have lost trust in you.. wfd.. I have few female friends that have pcos, prolactin etc, and they didn't hide it from me. And I'm not even their boyfriends.. I'll now date you for marriage and you'll hide such from me.. I'll just feel you manipulated me into the marriage, all the lov I have for you is gone.. if he's the one that hide a low soeem count ish until 2 years after marriage shey you won't also act cold to him,. You wey all these your comrade here supporting you would have helped you insult him and extend the insult to all men..
Let him deal with you whichever way he decides, there must be consequences for wrongly behaviour ✌️
I don’t think they are married yet
DeleteNot married oooooooo
DeleteDante
DeleteWhich marriage do you think the partners opened up 100 percent to each other?
Is it a confessional booth?
I blame her though. Is she a Medical Doctor? Who told her she can't conceive?
Whenever love is shacking some girls, they will open their mouth and start vomitting history of Benin Republic. Did your partner tell you about all the abortions he committed or you think he fell from the sky?
Your partner will dump you and marry someone worse than you but who kept mute out of wisdom but still conceived. Talkative.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Xoxo
DeleteYou have started again bah..
One doesn't open 100 percent to anyone but you open up the thing that concerns the other person.. so far as an issue would affect another person, you owe the person the moral duty a(legal duty in some cases) to disclose..
See ehn, before you come to reply my comments, put yourself in the victim shoes first and honestly ask yourself how you'll feel or respond if you're faced with the situation. It's always easy to excuse and support rubbish until the rubbish hits you..
See your head🙄
Poster please don't too worry yourself,,just go for treatment and trust me you will be fine... everybody i know with PCOS has kids now!
ReplyDeleteIf you had a medical condition and hide it away from me until after marriage, I will react worse, that's if l don't walk out of the marriage. Lies and deception is a NO. Give him time to process it and start treatment.
ReplyDeleteStella please stop giving wrong advice.
It's a good thing that you told him. Give him time to process it, he might come around, meanwhile, continue with your treatment and stop worrying so you can get better on time. God be with you. All will be well. Amen.
ReplyDeletePoster, pls don't stress yourself much, you will be fine, just try and go for medical check-up and start your treatment. Besides, men should also know that woman wants kids more than they do.
ReplyDeleteWishing u all the best....Women dey pass through alot ooo
ReplyDeleteGood you told him.
ReplyDeleteIf he decides he can't be with you be thankful to God because if he marries you with some reservations about the pcos, you will suffer.
By one month after the marriage he would start treating you as someone who is unable to give birth and would live in anxiety and sorrow.
Poster, take good care of yourself 🙏
Seek medical attention from professionals pls.
If na for pikin, you go born in Jesus name, amen 🙏
Go to a general hospital.the doctors have more experience and can advise you on the next step of action.goodluck
ReplyDeleteYou need to reassure your guy that he shouldn't be afraid that God will help you.
DeleteGovt or private?
ReplyDeletePrivate hospital with track record - Quick service saves time. But generally more expensive.
Govt teaching hospital. Good. Lower expenses. But time wasting. Service depends on who is in seat during your sessions.
Advice: Look for private hospital with a acknowledged results
Pray for GOD'S will
ReplyDeleteProceed with treatment
Relax
A failed relationship better pass failed marriage, I don't support hiding anything like this till after marriage, if it was a man with low sperm issues will this be your same advice?
ReplyDelete