STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
HOW TO HANDLE IN LAWS
Dear Stella...
I am the only girl child in my family.
I Got married to an only son with four sisters. Two among the girls are married.
When my sister in law was TTC. They went for IVF which was successful (triplets) Everybody was happy but they hid it from me that it was through IVF. My husband was the one that told me how everyone was involved especially my mother in-law.
We have been trying to conceive also..
They were using side eyes to look at me as if am the one at fault. My mother in-law prescribed many drugs for me to take. Which I did When there was no result they suggested we go for medical checkup.
The result came out. My lovely husband was the cause. We where advised to go for IVF. Mother in-law said it’s too expensive and that they will look for medication for their son and we should back it up with prayers. “When your daughter TTC you did not wait for medication or hope on GOD”.
I did not take it to heart. I told my husband while hoping on GOD we should gather money to go for the IVF and We agreed on the month we will go for it. I can’t Leave my husband because of these.
He is a good man, he has been so good to me and everybody around. life is not fair. But something happened we invested our money into a wrong business which was suppose to yield a lot of profit and we lost everything.
My husband was sad and I was so down. My in-laws keeps sending drugs. This people have money to fund the procedures. We are not entitled but they want to always be in our business. I will never bad mouth my in-laws That not me and it’ won’t change anything.
My husband really loves his mum. I will continue to play along We no long take the drugs. We have started saving again… Please BVS put us in prayers That after gathering the money GOD should make the IVF to be successful.
We don’t want to disclose our plans to any body now. He will tell them later. I cry always because I love children My own family think i am not bothered about our childlessness. Don’t have a sister to share with. Can’t speak to any friends so I will not be mocked. Can’t tell my parent cos i don’t want them to start thinking (they are both hypersensitive).
I don’t feel they hate me, they are nice in other areas And nobody owes me anything. We are cordial with each other.
One among the girls will be getting married this October and We will be there I pray nothing goes wrong. Because I don’t know how to quarrel or hold grudges.
Please I need advice from BVS if am wrong and how to handle my in-laws.
*My dear continue to handle them with love, you are right on track. Do not bad mouth them and do not reveal your IVF plans also... Dont worry, things will be OK....
Well your husband can ask them for ivf money . Or are you convinced SILs ivf was their idea
ReplyDeletePoster don't let your husband ask them for the money since you can contribute towards it. Don't become indebted to them for life because they helped you in bringing your child/children to the world. It's a good thing they are not helping so they don't become too entitled in decisions concentrate your own children because of if money.
DeleteWarn your husband to pin mouth
DeleteGoing forward
Information is on a need to know basis
No longer automatic
How are you sure the family funded their IVF?
Contribute and born your babies in silence, thank GOD for the means to do so
Choose baby names Biko and prepare o
17:00 my dear when you born pikin thru ivf you are too happy to care Whether people will say they helped you
DeleteMay God give your hubby wisdom and perfect it for your family, 🙏
DeletePoster since you know they do not want to support you and your husband for the IVF, you people should do your savings secretly, do your IVf and only shared the goodness when your tummy comes out.
ReplyDeleteAny time they ask you about the whole process just day you are trusting in God, tell them your husband is still taking the medications. You and your husband should keep your TTC journey to yourself and continue praying.
God will perfect it soonest, please do not pick fight or say anything evil against your in-laws. Please do not discuss your challenge to friends or your plans before they will li k your plan to your in-laws who will then look at you as if you have evil intention.
Why don't you ask your husband to ask them for some money to support his business or tell them you guys want to invest into a new business. If they give him that money before you say jack IVF is done and you start preparing for child bearing. May God come to your help with your husband 🙏🙏🤲👏
As Stella advice you are on the right just follow through with prayers 🙏. God will guide you
DeleteEhya poster sounds like someone with a good heart.
ReplyDeleteWell your mother-in-law is just being petty and not wanting to release money for your ivf, like even if its for her own gain too.
Just leave them alone, dont resent them, continue loving them,and continue with your plan, it's a good one and it will work, always live a lifestyle of praise to Almighty God and He will see you through soon enough
Wife didn’t say they’ve ever asked mil for ivf money
DeleteYou are doing well
ReplyDeleteJust keep your faith alive. Your money will be complete, you will do the IVF and it will be successful.
ReplyDeleteDon't disclose your plans to anyone yet.
Keep loving your in laws, we are all humans, so you can't expect them to be perfect.
God will not leave you or forsake you.
You will carry your own children.
Amen
Trust and believe God. Hope you know how to pray. You baby might before the IVF. All you need to now is to pray, pray and pray to the giver of children and a miracle worker, He will come through for you.
ReplyDeleteGod gives children. Trust and believe in Him. Cry to Him and don't look at man for help.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, Trust God and your plans will surely manifest if its God's will. Please don't be insecure, cos I sense some insecurity. Just be yourself Md don't quarrel with your inlaws. I havent read a tale of perfect inlaws before no matter how good they seem
ReplyDeleteYou're on the right track my darling but you really need someone you can talk to always not because of your situation but because everyone needs someone to talk to. You don't have to share your deepest darkest secrets with them just occasional laughs, fears, challenges. Your husband can be this person for you. Pray about it too.
ReplyDeleteAs for quarrel, just do you. You owe nobody anything. If they ask about the drugs just reply with we're on it or God is in control, keep a smile on your face and keep doing you.
As long as God and hubby are on your side, you have nothing to fear.
I don't know your relationship with your mother. Can you please share with her if your are cordial instead of keeping her in suspense. Parents especially mothers are always worried about their only child especially in situations like TTC. I have more peace within since I realized no one owes me anything even my parents. Keep calm. All will be well. May your efforts yield the expected result in Jesus name.
ReplyDeleteYou are on the right track my dear sister, just be strong and continue treating them with love.
ReplyDeleteSoon, you will celebrate
From your your mouth to God's ear. Amen.
ReplyDeleteContinue to show them love❤️it the right thing you are doing and that make things easier for you. The opposite will make you unhappy always.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster
ReplyDeleteI find it surprising that your and husband and you allowed your inlaw to prescribe drugs to you.
After you went to the hospital and found out that your husband was the one with the issue, why didn't you work with your doctor, who will guide you on the proper treatment to adopt? Why are you discussing IVF if your doctor has not told you that it's the only solution?
Please go and find a specialist and discuss your reproductive issues, so that you both can work with a definite plan.
My darling it's well with you and your hubby,your ivf will be a success.i thank God u don't have issues with your in law,when you travel offer help when help is needed,buy things like fruit for the house as you travel, you know they like looking for effort from daughter in law.be at peace with All I'm sure you will only spend few days with them.
ReplyDeletePoster just maintain your positive vibes, keep saving and trusting God. If you're a Christian, please connect to NSPPD 7am Fire prayers on YouTube or Facebook Mondays to Friday. WHAT GOD CANNOT DO DOES NOT EXIST!
ReplyDeleteI pray may the IVF you intend to do come out succefully.
ReplyDeleteI pray that God be kind to you.
ReplyDeleteWhy can't they add the money for the drugs to your IVF procedure savings?
Self centeredness is the issue here trust me.
What's stopping them from allowing you to do the IVF since the other person has and it wasn't abortive??
It's well even in the dang well.
Please read the post again. Poster and her husband lost their money. His family is not stopping them from the IVF. Just that she would not mind if they assisted on the IVF.
DeleteI know what i am on about @Anon16:32
DeleteI was actually implying that the said family would have helped out with the IVF money in the little way they can
Thanks all the same
Awww poster, this touched me. You will soon laugh so deeply from your heart...this will pass and you carry carry yours...don't be brothered. Smile my darling rejoice and sow seeds read rhe bible too.. remember the story of Elizabeth, Sarah and Hannah. You shall not be barren, children are his heritage.you will enjoy..all the benefits God has placed on women. Amen.
ReplyDeletePoster it is well with you. You are doing great already with your in-laws. Your in-laws fears maybe that the donor sperm would not be from your husband. Their fears are valid but petty. Continue to save and move in silence. May your joy be full soonest.
ReplyDeleteYou will be a mother sooner than expected, Just believe in God and it should come to pass.
DeleteDear poster,pls put ur trust in the lord.he created u,he knows ur tomorrow.sometimes God delays some things in our lives to increase our faith in him.all u need@this time now is to believe and trust in him and u will have all ur heart desires
ReplyDeletePlease don't tell anyone them or anyone about the IVF journey until your baby arrives.please I beg you in the name of God.make them believe their drug worked, until you successfully birth your baby/babies.dont worry for having a good heart God will definitely come through
ReplyDeleteGod will surprise you and your spouse.
ReplyDeleteGod will do it for you.
ReplyDeleteBelieve me sister that it's settled in IJN Amen
"My in-laws keeps sending drugs. This people have money to fund the procedures. We are not entitled but they want to always be in our business."
ReplyDelete> They want the best for you. Just that it is not as you want it. The typical mother does not abandon a child who also loves her. Except they are sending concoctions to you, the average generic fertitilty drug is not cheap. Consider they may also be facing financial challenges or other financial demands too, for example, the next marriage ceremonies.
Since your husband is in agreement with you to stop taking the drugs sent, it is okay. But those drugs if they are the real ones and recommended are expensive. Dont you guys think you are wasting the money? Is there any other way your husband can tell his family to stop sending over the drugs without any issue?
"One among the girls will be getting married this October and We will be there I pray nothing goes wrong. Because I don’t know how to quarrel or hold grudges.."
> The family you wrote about is not likely to give you cause to have a quarrel. But please travel with a full and extra full tank of positive emotions because though you tried to mask it in your narrative, sincerely speaking, you are not really TOO happy with them. And marriage ceremonies are generally stress inducing for families in most African communities.
Do and be involved in all as you would have done if you were not ready to conceive (I dont like the first T in TTC).
Best wishes. May Almighty God answer the prayers of us all who are ready to conceive. Amen
You really nailed it📌
DeletePoster, your being downcast is allowed but if you've not voiced your concerns and heard their own side of the story, please don't just conclude. Keep hoping on God for your miracles.
*2nd paragraph
Delete"as if you were ready to conceive"
Poster you are going to be pregnant ivf or not. Your husband will get you pregnant. Please relax and keep loving him as he does the same.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations 🎊
Poster is even better they don't fund or put one naira in this ivf bcos of tommorrow, i prefer outsiders helping me than inlaws, especially when it involves money, continue with ur savings, but if u still want there money, u can tell ur hubby to tell his sis, that u need support for business, if they are convinced and willing to help, u can then use it for the ivf.
ReplyDeleteAs for the marriage coming up, pls be urself, since they are gud to u, continue to be gud to them.
I don’t understand the comments I’m seeing here. Is the baby for an outsider? Is it not their own son? If they contribute to the ivf so what? Is it not for their own grandchild? Even if it’s her “in laws” donating for ivf it is also the boys parents. They should save what they have and if need be ask for money from both parents. Life is only once pls.
DeleteMother of children,
ReplyDeleteMay God surprise you with babies in Jesus name amen.
You must testify
I don’t understand uou
ReplyDeleteDo you think they love their daughter more than their son
If they tell you to do ivf you’ll say they are telling you what to do
You propose it and stop being annoying
Your husband already told his mum about the IVF. If he truly loves his mother the way you said it, mama knows your game plan and she is smiling. There are 3 types of people when it comes to giving. There are those that know you need help and they help effortlessly. There are those that wait for you to ask for help, they are not bad people, they simply want you to ask. The last are those that will not help even when you ask. They are not bad humans, they probably grew up that way or life experiences pushed them into what they are today. You don't know how long it took mama and others to help your sister in law. They want their son and brother to have kids too.
ReplyDeleteMay God come through for you and your.
ReplyDeleteIt is well dear.
Continue to show them love and care
May you always be secretive concerning happenings around you and hubby.
May God of surprises give you and yours a surprised package this season..
Being an only son, I think they'll do anything within their power to make their son have kids. I really don't think they'll also withhold money if they have it for such a purpose. God will surprise you with lots of kids Amen
ReplyDeleteTrue, I don't think they are doing anything wrong really.
DeleteYou are doing well poster. May God perfect that which concerns you and your husband. Amen
ReplyDeleteI pray God grant you your heart desires
ReplyDelete