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MARRIAGE ADVICE NEEDED
Dear Stella
I am greatly troubled , and it concerns my future, I will try to summarize as best as I can. I humbly ask that you post this on your page.
I am a 31 year old female, from the middle belt part of Nigeria, I have not been lucky with relationships as I always end up being heart broken, .
Dear Stella
I am greatly troubled , and it concerns my future, I will try to summarize as best as I can. I humbly ask that you post this on your page.
I am a 31 year old female, from the middle belt part of Nigeria, I have not been lucky with relationships as I always end up being heart broken, .
I recently met a guy from my state, same village, but different clans, this guy adores me so much and I have never felt this kind of love in a very long time, he is keen on us getting married and with the joy I had in me, I took him to my family.
My dad inquired about his background and family, that same day my dad called me to end things with the guy because the family will never accept him, and the reason is that thier fore father's brought in a foreign god into the family for protection, this god made them prosperous but as time went on, things began to change as they started to witness the negative effect of Thier action.
As a result of this people in the community do not marry into thier family because they have a history of frequent numerous physiatric cases, autistic children, and deaths, now my dad has warned me to break things off with him, but how do I do that.
This is an agelong occurrence and there is a likelihood of it not having any effect on me if I get married to him, I am very confused because it is hard to break things off, on his own part, he has vowed to stand by me, we have been praying about it to see if my family will have a change of heart, we are just a victim of tradition.
I humbly seek your advice ma on the right step to take,
*You are a victim of tradition? is that how you see it? Instead of praying for your Dad and family to change their mind , why dont you seek God's face in this? love dey shack you now so you can say what you want...
Some things are deep and i will ask you to listen to your dad on this, go and do some work on this yourself......most of these things done in the past, always come back to haunt the present.
Be warned oh.... you dont need to call it off immediately but go and do some ground work.
Chai! The one that you finally saw they have brought tradition to dismantle it.
ReplyDeleteKeep praying my sister, only God will come through for you.
Your second paragraph is my reality over 10years now and I have learnt to be alone. I can't even try finding love again, it's too much a task for me right and I can't even kill myself.
@poster, can you join the NSSPD prayer line every morning or can you find your way to that ministry, with your fiance to break the foundation of his family over him? Join the prayer group on Facebook and take it from there. @Stella, you give very shallow and selfish advice, may God give you a good heart.
DeleteCome my dear, pls listen to your dad, it is not easy dealing with mental/autism case in the family, the only thing I will say is pray God if this is my own and the future is good, bring it to pass, if not give me the heart to break and move on. While giving me my own as this one maybe be blinding u to the true one oo
DeleteAnny 17:23. You need not react to Stella advice. You are meant to drop yours. Knowledge varies.
DeletePoster, I would advise you to listen to your family. Your father wants the best for you and with these problems you mentioned, you might run back to your parents when the problem comes up later..
Poster I sometimes call Traditions peer pressure from the grave...Do you own findings about the guy's family cause sometimes Love is not enough..We call it ''Ju ese''....Our parents mean well for us but sometimes project their fears towards us....If there is an history of what were highlighted by your dad then you need to talk a walk, if not then take a leap for faith...If he does not believe in it, then the tradition cannot work on you both...Just be careful sha....I pray for God's wisdom for you to make the right decision.
ReplyDeleteAll the best
This is "iju ese"
DeleteJust like the OSU system in Ibo land. Too bad. It will never go away. I pray the Lord grants your heart's desire.
ReplyDeleteIt's not same biko. This is person family problems
DeleteDo not marry him
ReplyDeleteYou no go hear now
Ask God for direction
ReplyDeleteAnd by ground work that means praying, fasting and more prayers and fasting. These are things both of you should be doing by now. Don't call off anything, people that will advise you to call of a good relationship are automatically sending you to a wrong one.
ReplyDeleteEven you poster don't have it all clean, so if we keep leaving good men for the slightest reasons who will marry them, my children abi your children. Work on this with God at the center.
You just spoke my mind, if the poster is ready to eat, sleep and live in prayer then she should go ahead to marry him.
DeleteListen to your Dad! Love is not enough. The issue is deep, thank God you have a Dad who did the investigation on time. Some people are not that lucky and they have been drained in this kind of marital battle.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this,it is hell, run run run, I know what I am telling u, crying and telling u run run run, praying is not Easy, u might even loss ur faith, u will have PTSD yourself, anxiety n fear, pls run, u are better alone than this.
DeleteIf you are ready to marry this guy without having biological children together, then have a civil wedding and adopt a kid or two. However, if having kids together is a must for you two, then respect your daddy, please.
ReplyDeleteThere is wokeness and there is reality. Woke people say na "sleep paralysis" but na person wey know say the "neck pressing" nearly send am go yonder know wetin im eye see. I am concerned about the innocent kids who may suffer the consequences of your decision if you choose to marry this dude (and please believe me when I say I feel sorry for you two). Your daddy could be wrong but what if he's not?🤷♂️. If you are Igalla from Kogi state, let me tell you for free that you are playing with fire. Have you read your history about how your TR ancestor showed Queen Elizabeth and the northern leaders shege? Your people don't play candy crush with tradition Poster.
Nevertheless, please find out if there are things you can do to ward off any impending evil according to your custom so you two can be together. Most traditions usually have that. Aftorroh (side eyes at Sisi Senaponi😏), na oyinbo wey do pencil still manufacture eraser join.
I agree life is not fair; as in why now that you've finally found the man of your dreams?😩 but na who get life and good health dey enjoy marriage o. Na when trials and tribulations come, couples dey understand say "Love alone is not enough." God bless and guide you and the gentleman.
Please bring update for your blog brethren and sisthren and I sincerely pray it'd be good news by God's grace🙏.
Amebo thank you for the below
DeleteNa when trials and tribulations come, couples dey understand say "Love alone is not enough.
I am Igala from Kogi state and I am not bound by any tradition so I do not understand your comment about Igalas.
DeletePoster pls read this comment and absorb it well.
DeleteDear poster,
ReplyDeletePlease listen to your dad..
or if u insist Please kindly engage in serious prayers before marrying into that family...
Yes please,go and do your own background work on his lineage,don't leave everything for God,do your part.
ReplyDeleteBut seriously,you should never marry anyone your parents don't approve, they know more than you do,especially when it comes to the sacredness of traditions.
If the two of you are prayerful ( prayer warriors), then start praying seriously about your relationship and ask for direction. But if not, don't dare marrying him.
ReplyDeleteThings like that are powerful generational convenants that need to be broken.
Ask questions, make enquiries to know how this things work then know the next step to take
ReplyDeleteThe world is full of mystery,I think you should go with your father's advice , you should be happy that he knows this tradition and have come to your rescue on time and if the guy says same thing your dad said about his family pls put the marriage on hold.
ReplyDeleteSomethings are better ignored than trying them...to break that convenant its left for the family to do so and not you coming in to break it for them.
Poster try to find out if what ur dad told you is true,thank God that ur dad did the finding for u, we have read here of such cases like mental illness in some families,please to avoid regretting in the future l will advise u to take a walk.
ReplyDeletePoster don’t marry him oh.. my family member married into a family with similar story of a strange god and till now members of that family die very young, d man has lost two of his siblings and they used to be four in number and we are just praying for Gods mercy for our own cos we didn’t do findings we were just happy she found someone cos like u age was not on her side too. Don’t do it so u won’t regret or live in fear of the unknown
ReplyDeleteI don't know how deep rooted you are in Christ. If you are a Sunday Sunday christain. Kindly trade with caution when it comes to tradition.
ReplyDeletePray pray pray if you have peace about it then go for it. Ask around. Since he says he’s standing strong, Take him for medical and psychiatric check up
ReplyDeleteAsk and look into the psychological state of his parents and siblings and his grandparents. If there’s no psych issue, then you’re all clear
Poster, abolish mission now. Except u know you want to be a prayer warrior all your life.hmmm.
ReplyDeleteExactly she will pray till she gets tired
DeleteIf she is not a prayer warriors she should not just bother
Poster I’m sorry about this
ReplyDeleteLove is not always enough in the face of adversity
ReplyDeleteOne thing that has kept me going even in the face of deadlock circumstances is one of my mantras: "Nothing pass God". Truly there's NOTHING God cannot do. The only hindrance to God performing for us is our capacity to withstand situations, hold the forte, until we emerge victorious.
ReplyDeleteYour case is not a big deal. The idol that was brought into your man's family is not bigger than God. The yoke will be broken one day. If not by you guys, definitely by someone else in his family who will get tired of negative recurring events. Your father is scared because he sees it as bigger than God. Question is, are you ready for that? Ordinarily, a few series of family deliverance sessions should wipe out the powers from that family, but are you guys willing to? Are you willing to pay the price for putting an end to the negatives? Is your man even interested in being set free? If he is not and you are not ready, kindly listen to your father and walk away.
But if you are, kini big deal. Just know it won't be a smooth ride, at least at first. The devil doesn't give up without a fight; at least not in this case where he was brought in without asking. He'll want to claim right. But know that HE WILL GIVE UP WHEN JESUS STEPS IN. Now if you really are all out to get married to this man, I suggest you do the following:
1. Find out if truly God wants you both together. Well, this may be coming late because: you are already in love and you seem in a hurry to get married. For your mind now, you and Methuselah dey struggle for who go first take meat wen dem share am. Please remove desperation from this mix. You subtly but unconsciously gave that impression.
I sha believe in finding out from God before getting into any relationship. That time the head hasn't entered the clouds, so reasoning and hearing from God is clearer.
2. Make findings. Let your man go back to his family and ask questions. Get to the root of everything. Arm yourself with the information for prayer purposes. Your prayer points should be woven around your findings.
3. Pray. Together. Thing is, are you a child of God? Is your man a son of God? Like, how do you call someone to fight for you when you're not his child. If both of you are not, abeg just fashy the matter. But you can become a child of God, then simply ask God to come down and fight for you. Use the blood of Jesus and the scripture in prayer everytime. They are the most powerful weapons a Christian has.
4. Call deliverance ministers to come minister deliverance thoroughly to the family. If you get good ministers, it will be successfully done. Try MFM.
5. Let your man sow heavy seeds. Let him pray on the seeds before sowing, categorically stating what he wants.
In all, just know that any family you finally get married into may have thier ish and you may not know. So you gats be prayerful. Na because dis wan dey ya village naim make you sabi.
If you have read through this and you think you won't be able, abeg waka dey go. E never late. God bless you.
For your number 2, 3 and 4, the man and his family will have to accept and agree to the prayers, how are we sure they'll agree? Na only herself and family she know oh.
Deletepls take this issue to God in prayers,then sit with ur dad again and ask if there are still ways out of this.if he says 'no',my dear,leave this guy cos ur relationship with him will never work as long as ur family are against it.
ReplyDeleteThe worst is that this isn't your case to deal. You won't even know where to start.
ReplyDeletePoster, your father is your option right now.
Things like this are deeper.
That's the biggest problem, case no be her own.
DeleteAbort Mission! The devil is really gunning for you oh. This kind of things usually end in premium tears. Generational issues. Go to God with prayers and fasting to reveal to you. Also do a deep dive and investigation (not surface oh! Not what theybare trying to portray) into his siblings lives and see if everything is going well with them and their families.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that has kept me going even in the face of deadlock circumstances is one of my mantras: "Nothing pass God". Truly there's NOTHING God cannot do. The only hindrance to God performing for us is our capacity to withstand situations, hold the forte, until we emerge victorious.
ReplyDeleteYour case is not a big deal. The idol that was brought into your man's family is not bigger than God. The yoke will be broken one day. If not by you guys, definitely by someone else in his family who will get tired of negative recurring events. Your father is scared because he sees it as bigger than God. Question is, are you ready for that? Ordinarily, a few series of family deliverance sessions should wipe out the powers from that family, but are you guys willing to? Are you willing to pay the price for putting an end to the negatives? Is your man even interested in being set free? If he is not and you are not ready, kindly listen to your father and walk away.
But if you are, kini big deal. Just know it won't be a smooth ride, at least at first. The devil doesn't give up without a fight; at least not in this case where he was brought in without asking. He'll want to claim right. But know that HE WILL GIVE UP WHEN JESUS STEPS IN. Now if you really are all out to get married to this man, I suggest you do the following:
1. Find out if truly God wants you both together. Well, this may be coming late because: you are already in love and you seem in a hurry to get married. For your mind now you and Methuselah dey struggle for who go first take meat wen dem share am. Please remove desperation from this mix. You subtly but unconsciously gave that impression.
I sha believe in finding out from God before getting into any relationship. That time the head hasn't entered the clouds, sir reasoning and hearing from God is clearer.
2. Make findings. Let your man go back to his family and ask questions. Get to the root of everything. Arm yourself with the information for prayer purposes. Your prayer points should be woven around your findings.
3. Pray. Together. Thing is, are you a child of God? Is your man a son of God? Like, how do you call someone to fight for you when you're not his child. If both of you are not, abeg just fashy the matter. But you can become a child of God, then simply ask God to come down and fight for you. Use the blood of Jesus and the scripture in prayer everytime. They are the most powerful weapons a Christian has.
4. Call deliverance ministers to come minister deliverance thoroughly to the family. If you get good ministers, it will be successfully done. Try MFM.
5. Let your man sow heavy seeds. Let him pray on the seeds before sowing, categorically stating what he wants.
In all, just know that any family you finally get married into may have thier ish and you may not know. So you gats be prayerful. Na because dis wan dey ya village naim make you sabi.
If you have read through this and you think you won't be able, abeg waka dey go. E never late. God bless you.
Please listen to your dad ,let the guy go, you'll see another suitor.
ReplyDeleteIf man is in Christ, he is a new creation. All things have passed away. There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. It is only the soul that sinned that shall die. Seek the face of God. Go ahead and marry for God has set you free after Jesus died and rose again.
ReplyDeleteGirl, leave that man. But let me not lie to u, chances are 50% u might regret it, cos u may never find a man like him again. 50% chance u will. This is how this stupid traditions make one lose good people and end up with crap while the family just moves on leaving the person to their fate.
ReplyDeleteBut she might also regret marrying him
DeleteOnly God can tell. That’s why I believe in prayer
Poster, I'm also married to a family like that, but after the death of my mother in-law at 52, they decided to find out what the problem is. It was discovered the problem is this same foreign god that was brought into the family in the olden days cuz of land issues, but becuz they're not feeding the god buy killing fowl and worshipping it, the god is angry, causing untimely death in the family. So they were advised to take the god back to its root. So they took the god back and everything is now ok, but it cost a lot of money. Truth is that this foundation thing hardly go away, even if you pray and they leave you alone, they will surely continue with your children when they're not praying. Best thing is to uproot it and leave a normal life. Tell the guy to tell his family to look for solution to their problem and not just keep quiet and keep suffering in silence. There's nothing God cannot do.
ReplyDeleteBest advice so far and also from experience
DeletePoster you may never understand what your dad is saying till you enter and start seeing your children having deformation. You need to be rooted in Christ, you should be a prayerful woman.
ReplyDeleteHow long can you continue to be praying and fasting, if you are not a strong prayerful person please walk away.
Please listen to your dad before you end up marrying a prayer point it.I was warned not to marry my hubby because of similar traditional family issues like this but I refused and went ahead because I trusted my spiritual strength.it’s been from one church to the other yet no way,countless deliverance has been done at the ancestral house still no head way my hubby unconsciously displays the issues affecting the children of the family I was warned against. I feel so drained and exhausted I and hubby have been praying for years but it’s still a struggle. We were able to conceive again after mysteriously losing our first child and it took us so many years for this miracle to happen.I am kinda scared but I am hoping and trusting on God to carry this baby to full term.Many atimes I wish I listened to my parents and walked away. Life is a mystery
ReplyDeleteLol at marrying a prayer point
DeleteMay God come to your rescue anonymous 19:12. But I want you to know that God has rhe answer to your problem. Family and ancestral ties are real and can be very deadly but God Almighty is Victorious search online for the book breaking family and ancestral ties written by Pastor Boniface Menye you are sure to find answer to your problem and you may contact the pastor himself for further ministry if necessary, however, you must settle your belonging ro God first by repenting of your sins and accepting Jesus as Lord and Saviour of your life.
DeleteIt is well with you.
DeletePoster the tough part is there are no complete answers
ReplyDeleteYour fears are valid your fathers fears are valid
You can seek out spiritual help
This life is a mystery
ReplyDeletePlease listen to your daddy,,he will never deceive you,,he wants the best for you..
Traditional issues is very effective when you are not praying seriously about it and it needs continuous prayer and deliverance non stop
Are you ready to pray and stand in the gap for your children and hubby not an easy journey but there's nothing God cannot do through Prayers and obedience to His Words.
Find out if you both are destiny to be together before taking any step forward.
Love is not enough o.
ReplyDeleteI will advice you to listen to your dad, he can never wosh bad to happen to you after raising.
Break thing up, though it hard bit do it now.
Foreign God or not...from your write this man has a family history of a mental illness and Autism. So you know, there is risk of your husband to be developing a mental illness or the children you bear with him developing mental illness or autism. That doesn't mean he can not be loved, but know what you are getting into
ReplyDeletePoster look for the books of Pastor Boniface Menye on breaking family ties and satanic strongholds. JESUS HAS THE ANSWER TO YOUR PROVLEMS
ReplyDelete