Hmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MENTALLY DISORIENTED LOVER...
Please this is very sensitive.....
Please Stella and BV's how do you help a mentally disoriented spouse?
He loves me very well and cares for me a lot, above all he is a good guy, generous, humble, and ambitious.
He doesn't drink, smoke or womanize, the only issue I'm having with him is that he isn't smart, he gets confused and lost in the middle of evey conversation, even in mist of people. I've seen a situation where he is being asked a question and ends up saying something different.
He does that to me a lot. At first I thought it was just an act not until I discovered lately that it's weakness not just an act. I really want to help him with it, maybe bringing him out from that shackles of confusion but how do I achieve this, can it be cured or managed?
We will be walking down the aisle in two months time and I'm already feeling sorry for myself. Please help a sister
Please call off the wedding because you are about to marry a mentally sick man who is at the early stages of his illness, it gets worse!
Who proposed? you or him? I am sure he does not remember doing so and will forget other details as time progresses.... watch out for any sign of recovery before you progress with something as serious as Marriage. DONT TRY IT or you will be sending in another chronicle....
He needs help from a professional but first you need to find one and take him there so that they can see if he has chances of recovery.
I am so sorry this is happening!
Whoa!
ReplyDeleteShe can't just call off the relationship like that now
I think he should be able to get help medically or otherwise
Don't give up on him totally and do cut him some slack
lmao...stella you brutal! Poster pls follow her advice o.
ReplyDeleteNothing,like brutal,its the honest truth,please poster,get help for him.
DeleteMental health sickness cuts deep more than physical ailment.
DeleteDiscuss with him and take him to see a doctor. It's only a doctor who can tell if what he has is mental illness or just a behavioral disorder. If it's really a mental health issue, follow Stella's advice to the latter.
ReplyDeleteGo to the psychology center.. Treat as urgent before you take a final decision.
DeleteYou people should go and check his BP level first. Early signs of high BP is lack of coordination when having conversations. Just saying.
ReplyDeleteJeweluchi Stella this your advice is very funny. Please with all due respect
DeleteFirst thing first, like how old is this man. What type of dementia are you dealing with?
DeleteWhy don't you go with him to visit a psychiatrist and hopefully be more enlightened as to what ails him?
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, if you don't feel you can cope in the long run, it may be better to throw in the towel now.
Wishing you both the best.
Sounds like he's on the spectrum or dyslexic.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you my person. Ir could be a disorder that requires support and not a mental illness. It can happen to anyone and can be anyone's brother. Get a proper diagnosis first.
DeleteMaybe he is Austic...no big deal
DeleteNo he is not autistic and not dyslexic either (I work with people who are) it may be early signs of dementia, young people can also have it.
DeleteWhatever the care take him for evaluation, you can’t just call him a name without proper observation.
First find out if it’s something you can manage or not
Push up (original)
If you don't know the meaning/symptoms of dyslexia please go and google again. The way some of you make diagnosis online is quite worrying.
DeleteI am dyslexic and work as a doctor abroad. I am neither disoriented nor confused.
Dyslexia is NOT a mental illness!
Poster, your husband to be needs a review by a doctor including blood test for "confusion screen". The differential diagnosis for confusion as a symptom is very wide, ranging from derangement of salts(electrolytes) in the body, thyroid issues, absence seizures, dementia (depending on his age), psychosis and other mental health issues etc. Long story short, he needs urgent doctors review before working down the aisle. Goodluck.
Get him diagnosed. He might be suffering from absent seizures. Convince him to go to the hospital for tests
ReplyDeletePoster please take stella's advice, cos if you were the one that had the problem, he would have left you a long time ago.. men dont pity women, dont pity him too.
ReplyDeleteDid you comment or read the comments on the post by the lady challenged by epileptic seizures?
DeleteWhy do you do this?
Why will you say this? People are not all the same please. Wickedness isn't gender based and we are not all perfect
DeletePoster, you and him should go for diagnosis first, please. Then take up the rest from there. Sha don't settle down with him without seeing a prefessional. May God guide you
Having an illness is not enough to leave someone you love. What happened to fighting? Trying to exhaust all medical help. Women you guys want men to do things you ordinarily won’t try to do. I’m a woman, make ona dey calm down.
Delete17:50 pls God will bless you.i don’t understand Stella and people on this blog sometimes with the way they are quick to ask people to call it quits.I wish men will come out more with their stories so we can see how two faced people really are
DeleteMental health sickness,cuts deeper,than,physical ailment.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, discuss with him about this suspected issues, then proceed to see a proffessional.
Then decide if you can marry or leave.
Go with him to the hospital to check his mental health,with good medication,your love and caring he'll be fine. Let him get well first before walking down the aisle.
ReplyDeleteIs he confused or not smart. Those can be different things. I feel like you’re saying he’s not smart. That he can’t follow a conversation and ends up contributing to it in ways that embarrass you when with others and frustrate you when it’s you and him
ReplyDeleteSome people might say na conversation you go chop, but it’s bothering you so you need to at least put things on hold and figure this out
Hmmmm my darling seek help first for him ,like Stella said this is developing stage of his mental health.
ReplyDeleteI heard you say u feel sorry for yourself already......it will be worst if you go ahead with the marriage.
Early stages of dementia
ReplyDeleteLooks like it oo15.37
DeleteSeek professional help, if it's something that can be handled please stick with your man, no one person is perfect. If you can't handle it please break up peaceful and still support him as a friend should.
ReplyDeleteDon't cut off help him see a doctor ,if he is your biological brother will you do what they are advicing you ,help him see a doctor to even know what is the problem because BP can be the issue and it is curable ,moreover you are help mate to be ,leaving him may worsen his situation considering that all mental health issues are sensitive in Nigeria ps help a brother God will help you
ReplyDeletePoster, yea u are a good woman. Please don’t leave him as that can trigger something worse. Mental health issues can be managed. Lots of A list celebrities in Hollywood have mental health challenges from Bipolar disorder to Anxiety etc and they are living their best lives managing the ailments.
ReplyDeleteNigerians are ignorant about mental health issues and always give the wrong reactions.
Go with him to a mental health specialist. Also try to get him to start working out and engage in meditation and exercises that improve focus and stimulates brain cells. You can google all these.
Please be absolutely sure that he needs medication before taking them cos those meds are for life once he starts taking them. So don’t be hasty in placing him on meds.
Good diet, meditation, work out and good sleep does tremendous wonders.
Good luck.
You can hold on with the marriage plans for now and try to get a diagnosis for him and know how you can help him. Please don't just abandon him like that
ReplyDeleteThe description given makes it seem more like a learning disability, rather than mental illness. I'm not a professional, but it sounds like dyslexia to me.
ReplyDelete"Dyslexia can affect memory, organisation, time-keeping, concentration, multi-tasking and communication".
Help him get professional medical attention but please don't marry him until he is fully recovered.
ReplyDeleteEarly stage of dementia. Stop all married plan and start looking for possible solution, if not more chronicles loading. Wish you the best
ReplyDeleteLook for help before marriage.
ReplyDeleteThen decide whether to marry him or not based on what the professionals say.
You can't last in the marriage if you are already feeling sorry for yourself.
Is he taking treatment for any medical condition? It could be the side effects of drugs. Stress, sleeplessness and anxiety can cause forgetfulness and confusion. Alcoholism can also be responsible for this. Vitamin B12 is very useful when treating forgetfulness, vitamin D can help too. You two should go to the hospital and seek for treatment. Don't go to any mushroom hospital. A teaching hospital or a psychiatric hospital is your best call.
ReplyDeleteMental health is very serious and shouldn't be taken for granted...if u really love this guy,pls find him professional help.. take ur time and watch as his health improves before deciding to get married.also pray for him.don't underestimate the power of prayers.it works miracles
ReplyDeleteI'm the Anon that was trying to arrange a wife for her brother with mental challenges. The girl agreed to visit after telling her but it didn't work out. I'm hopeful that he will get his life together one day. Speaking as someone that has a special person as a family member, don't give up on him.
ReplyDeleteWork with him to get treatment, counseling and everything else he may need, you already said he is a good person, thank God it's not a full blown issue yet, please work with him to overcome except if it turns out to be degenerative and you can't manage it.
Does he know that he needs help??
ReplyDeleteDoes he know that he behaves this way?? Seems you haven't even spoken to him about "this" condition and how its affecting you.That's the first step,speak to him,if he isn't aware of the condition and hasn't been diagnosed,then you let him know how its important for you both to go seek help, pls be persuasive so he won't be adamant going,some people like to believe that they are sound mentally,it'll be an "insult" to tell them otherwise. Good luck
Or he may have adhd. The inattentive variant.
ReplyDeleteStella enh u cracked me up. Which one is that u are sure he has forgotten proposing????
ReplyDeleteHe might have issues with his ears. Sometimes he might not get what you are saying but might pretend to understand and this can affect his response to your question.
ReplyDeleteCheck his hearing
DeletePoster I will advice you hold on with the marriage arrangements for now, sit him down and let him know about his condition he might not even know he has a mental issue discuss this with him in a loving and supportive way let him know that you both are in this together , that would encourage him to seek for solution then from there you can know if it's something that can be cured.
ReplyDeleteHello I'm the poster.......
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Stella and BV'S ♥️
Your contributions, comments and advice were very inspiring, I really do appreciate your efforts 🙏♥️
He will kill you someday and won’t even realize he did anything
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