Hmmm..
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SUDDEN DEEP HATRED FOR BOYFRIEND:
All of a sudden, I no longer like him. Speaking with him over the phone is a big deal and therefore, I ignore his calls most times.
He's a good guy but I don't know why I suddenly don't like him. I am a serious worker in church and I am passionate about the things of God. I started having s*x after keeping my virginity for close to 3 decades. I no longer go to church and we have s*x on Sunday mornings.
I felt bad and I was no longer hearing from God. Now I am ready to rededicate my life but I all of a sudden hate him. My attitude to him is killing me cause he doesn't deserve this treatment, yet I can't help it.
I rejected his marriage proposal.
I am planning to travel out without telling him.
*Hmmmm guilty conscience is what is killing you...
Why don't you discuss your feelings with him and if possible break up with him... Don't treat him like this and turn him into a monster for his next relationship... You can be friends with him, don't go the enmity route please!
Break up responsibly.
Please break up with him reasonably,since,you said,he is a good man.Afterwards,you can re dedicate your life to God.
ReplyDeleteDiscuss with him and if he is willing to get close to God himself, please keep him. Moving abroad as a single, black, Christian female is almost signing up for a lifetime of singleness. There are almost no good/God fearing men in the West. Better marry a good man and bring him with you.
DeleteStella that your advice "break up responsibly" should be on marble. Very many people don't have the maturity to do this these days, age not withstanding..........
Deletethis is proper spirit husband at work, it makes one hate a man that is getting too intimate. be very prayerful
DeleteIf you are not careful your next relationship might not last.
DeleteWork on yourself and talk things over with him.
No be only spirit husband!!! It's her conscience that is pricking her . She hates the guy because he reminds her of her sin
DeleteStella's advise is very spot on.
Delete15:55
DeleteShebi it is often repeated here that the better men are are abroad for the picking? Why are you making it sound that statement is ... just to taunt Nigerian men in the homeland?
From you understanding he did not force you, why are you punishing him because you think you deserve punishment.
DeleteSit him down and explain things to him then rededicate your life to God
If you know God like you claim you do, you will know that He wipes slates clean.
Forgive yourself because God has forgiven you
Push up (original)
Anon 17:41 there are many men abroad but they are not compatible with our Christian values and African morals. For a female who clubs, smokes, drinks, does yoga, meditation, is open to exploring other spirituality like Buddhism, Wiccan, satanism etc, you will get married easily because the people here are just like you...
DeleteYour hatred for him is based on the assumption that he made you lose your relationship with God, but he's not solely to be blamed, you had a part in it as well. If you can be sincere to yourself, it'll help you get over the hatred and at least see things for what they really are.
ReplyDeleteYou may not want to continue a relationship with him if that's what's on your mind, but please make him understand your new stance and why you don't want to compromise anymore.
Abi o..why is communicating so hard for most people? Dude is probably worried and wondering where he went wrong.
DeleteDid he force you into having sex, did he cheat on you while dating, did he beat you or has he done anything to you that you kept in your mind for long. If a person offend you and you keep it in mind without saying it, a time will come when all you will feel for him will be hate and no more love.
ReplyDeleteTalk to him about how you feel, let him understand what he made you do. Is a good decision that you want to rededicate your life to christ, you want to stop feeding your flesh but not speaking to him about it is not a christ like way.
No one is stopping you from traveling out but sort out your difference before you leave. Talk to him, forgive him so that your prayers can be answered.
You might be seeing him as reason for your "fall". Free yourself of such thoughts. If you keep thinking that line, you will forever remain sad, unhappy
ReplyDeleteCould the travel be fueling the "hatred?" Find means to let him know so that he does not go looking for closure when you're not around.
Good luck
My dear your decision is the best. Stay far away from anything that would make you stop serving God. Tell him the relationship is over and keep it moving.
ReplyDeleteGbam
DeleteStella has said it all. Tell him how you feel about the sex and your spiritual life. Then break up with him. If he doesn't mind stopping the sex and to also move close to God you can continue with him, Don't make him turn to a bad guy and start hurting other girls.
ReplyDeletePlease treat him the way you would like to be treated if you were in his shoes.
ReplyDeleteYou go now, later on you will start looking for a good man out there. I will advise you to talk to him and be polite since your are the one who is about to dump him.
Love and all the geez geez it does to you is not all that makes a successful relationship or marriage. Take it from me.
Keep this good man at least for the fact that he is good and work on it so that you hoth can grow together unless he says no. Maybe all you need is a little space then you will begin to find him interesting again.
Good men no pass 100 for outside o. But if you choose to do it the way you feel currently just know that it's a premature attitude you are about to display.
Did you notice that I said nothing about your spirituality? it is intentional. Spirituality in naija is a whole different thing. Treat him with love, do not burn the bridge.
I don’t know why folks think people want an official break up. I prefer you just go your way and I’ll figure it out
DeleteThere are good men
DeleteMy friend listened to this good men no dey outside for 16 plus good years and stayed with a jerk. He finally left her. Yup HE left after all the endurance
He did her a favor cause she has met a good man now
@15:50
DeleteI meant that speech figuratively okay? Truly there are fewer good people out there compared to the bad ones. So that's what I meant.
Look at it, he was a jerk and he finally left her. Didn't she see him acting like a jerk b4 accepting to marry him? He didn't become a jerk over night. He had always had it in him but your friend probably thought he would change hence the time wasted. Being a jerk doesn't make a good spouse.
@15:33
It helps the other party find closure and heal sooner. There's no easy breakup but at least the other person doesn't end up having something twisted in them after the breakup. The ripple effect could affect not only them but also future relationships.
This idea that people always see evil before going in is nonsense and part of the blame the victim mantra. It’s simply not true and that’s that
DeleteYou sure can do what you deem fit but it be nice you let him know how you feel
ReplyDeleteBreak up officially with him already
Maybe he didn’t force her but she didn’t do it willingly and now she is mad at the person that “made” her do it
ReplyDeleteDon’t marry someone just cause he loves you or he’s a good guy. Trust me all that let him let love you more is not for everyone
Some of us actually have to be in love to maintain the relationship
That's not the way to go about it, break-up with him politely.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing wrong with falling out of love.Tell him the truth and move on while serving the living God truthfully this time.
ReplyDeleteWhy not tell him how u fell, it will free u from the hates. Pray for God's direction.
ReplyDeletePoster, I understand you. Your conscience is judging you and you think having sex with him will draw you away from God. Erase that thought and let your mind be free.
ReplyDeleteOr be team celibate till you're married and trust me, you won't have to feel guilty.
Concerning your relationship with God, a Prophet once said and I quote, "Some people think they need to turn their lives around before they can start praying and getting closer to the Almighty. This is a trick of satan. Don't fall for it. No matter what's going on in your life, pray! He's waiting for you"
I hope this helps.
@Tenny, please get to know God before you mislead people.
DeleteWhich prophet? The prophet sabi God well?
DeleteAnon all Tenny said is true and biblical
DeleteRead your Bible befor you mislead others
You say you are serious with God and want to rededicate your life to Christ good but as a Christian you claim to be why harbor hatred for another person to this extent?
ReplyDeleteHe never forced you to have sex and God doesn’t hate you, take your part of the blame and accept your own part.
For you to genuinely seek God you have to take responsibility for your actions that’s the first step, God knows as humans we have our weaknesses and we will always need Him.
Don’t carry hatred in your heart for anyone if you are genuinely seek God. God us love
End things with Him cordially, no need to be enemies
Poster take this advice. I was like you few months ago,I took responsibility for my actions,accepted my sin n asked God for guidance. I won't lie to you,it helped me a lot. Let go of the guilt n hatred n talk to our Heavenly Father He's patiently waiting for you
DeleteShe doesn’t like him
DeleteShe doesn’t need a reason
Sometimes your spirit just rejects someone. You continue dealing with the person at your own risk
Those that mean she has to hate him??
DeleteHate dislike is all semantics
DeleteBottomline Her heart doesn’t want him
Hmmm this is strong.
ReplyDeleteI feel guilty too. But not hatred.
Maybe you really don't love him afterall
Maybe he didn't hit it properly hence the bottle of haterade you are drinking.
ReplyDeletePoster have a discussion with him. May the Holyspirit guide you. May you marry a good man soon as possible to avoid further temptations, amen 🙏
ReplyDeleteChristians premarital sex is not a sin
ReplyDeleteHave sex if you want and leave God out of it
@anon 16:41, may God judge you!!!
DeleteSeeing how God blesses me, I think God and I are good
Delete😂😂😆 @ 16:41. Material blessings has nothing to do with your spirituality. God can allow you have the riches of the world and still send you to hell, ask the rich 🤑 fool
DeleteHe can also allow the person lack basic needs and still make it to heaven, ask Lazarus.
What every good Christian strives forbis to be holy and wealthy or at least very comfortable, ask Abraham or David.
You can rededicate your life back to Christ without the break up if he's ready for marriage.we are all sinners and the lord is willing to accept us back to himself once we turn away from our sins.the decision is yours dear good luck.
ReplyDeleteI don't think God will be in support of your utter hatred for a fellow human being. It's not like he raped you, you went into sex on your own. When he was pestering you for sex, being one that has values, you should have broken the relationship off but you continued instead and fell into sin. You can't put the whole blame on him. You had a part in it too. The best thing you can do is break off the relationship and focus on rededicating your life to Christ.
ReplyDeleteBreak up already. No need to second guess. He is not the right person. Your inner spirIt is warning you.
ReplyDeleteWas the sex good? Bad? It seems it wasn’t very good
ReplyDeleteRetrace your steps back to your maker, He have a bigger things for you.
ReplyDeleteYou don't like him.
ReplyDeleteMove on
Somebody that cannot improve your spiritual life what are you doing with him.
ReplyDeleteAs the head of his nyansh instead of him to encourage you to use your Sundays Morning to worship God na early Morning kerewa e dey interested in..Useless much.
I don't even understand what the plenty English in the comment section is for.
It's the same way guys will chop chop chop and clean mouth and immediately ghost the lady or try to create fight so the lady can just delete herself and save them the stress of looking for a lie.
She no want again sorry, she done belleful.
Simple.
Na belleful she belleful she no kii pesin.
Aunty bid adieu and face front try tie your leg biko, so dat when you reach abroad, you no go dey jump from dick to dick.
99% of these useless men have nothing to offer but Gonorrhea, Straffilofocus (I no sabi spelling) Herpes, Hepatitis, HIV etc etc etc.
Pity.
Your radar rejects subconsciously what is not right for you
ReplyDeleteBreak up peacefully and find your way
Please the hate is justified. Quickly ditch him and rededicate your life to God.
ReplyDeleteThis is a case if sexual guilt. She has not come to accept the loss of her virginity and still seeing the sex partner she blames him for her distance from God. Madam you are wicked soul take it or leave it. Stop having sex with him for 30 days then be celibate, follow this up with a break up with him. Get your spiritual life back on track. You will realise you are emotionally and mentally fucked up. Why?
ReplyDelete1. No 1 perosncommits firnication you are just as guilty as he is for not pulling him out of his lifestyle
2. Accept you are a sinner not looking at how saintly you use to be seek forgiveness for the Almighty we are all sinners He would forgive you not because you are or we are worthy but becauseof his gracious love for use.
3. If you close your leg u will not die , if you break up with him the sun will not disappear, take a step forward respecting the love u both once shared .