She said she failed him and is mad at God for letting Rico die...Hmmmmm!
''Patrick, if I didn’t tap you numerous times this morning, call your name, beg on my knees and you refused to say a word to me, I would have said, “don’t worry, it’s one of Rico’s jokes”..
I know you read all my messages so if you see this one, know that your six foot Amazon is broken. I begged you, I begged God, I promised you I’ll stay strong and shed no tear last night. Rico, I actually kept to my promise. I didn’t cry, I opened that group you wanted, I felt your body and it was warm, I watched you breathe and I was sure you’ll open your eyes properly soon and say “baby girl, wagwan”.
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Do I question God ? Infact God!!! You let this happen? What did you say about faith because I’m sure I had serious faith!!! I know there is a reason but do you understand that you broke my fragile heart to pieces? I can’t explain this pain. I begged you!!! I did!!!. I told you I’ll give anything!!! I promised to never miss my prayers again. I’m struggling to forgive and understand you God! Please help me reduce this chest pain I feel. My head feels heavy. I feel dizzy!!! You hurt me so much!! I’m mad at you!! Why did you let me make all the promises I made to Rico last night if you were going to take him ?
Heaven gained one but I lost . I’m not sure if I understand what faith is because for the first time, I had so much faith and no doubt but It didn’t work. The Bible needs to be edited. Oh death! You did this one and it hit way more than you even planned it. Weldone.
I know Rico will be upset seeing me like this so I’ll hold it together. I shot a whole movie and I became the character I wrote about!. I should have picked that call. I should have called back!! I failed once again!! I’m a horrible person!! Terrible!!! I can’t forgive myself.
Please God, take care of my friend the way he takes care of me. He loves to cook, please let him do it. He loves to sing too and he loves to look fresh. Don’t let him drive ever again. Don’t leave him by himself. Please make him happy. I miss him but I have no choice. Please protect his family. I know I’m talking to you even though I’m mad at you but I’ll get over it.
Rico, this wasn’t what we agreed. Rest well my Baby boy ''
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ReplyDeleteπππ hmmmm may his soul rest....
DeleteSo heartwrenching to read π’
ReplyDeleteI pray God console his loved onesπ
May God give her the strength to bear the loss. π
DeleteDear Alex, no one can question God. Its painful that I know but God knows best. I pray may his soul rest in peace as heaven welcomes an angel home. I don't know him personally but the news shattered me yesterday. It is well.
ReplyDeleteGoing out alive and coming back safe and alive is one of the most underrated blessings. Here is a thought provoking question: If the Lord calls you home today,, what will you give in exchange for your soul?
We shoukd question God. All the men of faith in the bible asked questions. I don't know where you guys got this narrative
DeleteOh dear π€¦πΌ♀️π€¦πΌ♀️ππππ
ReplyDeleteThis is very painful abeg!! Haaa This is pain is quite much to bear...
ReplyDeleteI questioned God a lot when I lost my sis. I lost faith in Him. I stopped praying, like I wake up and just go about my day. I know how she feels. The pain never goes away. We may not understand why, but God'll always be there for us.
ReplyDeleteWarm hugs Candy π
DeleteHmmm, truly God is always there!....Your sis and Rico are now in a better place, free of sickness and death. Continue to stay strong!
DeleteA better place that we all don't want to immediately go, till we are forced out of here
DeleteI know that pain too, most times you can't explain it. It hurts so bad. ooh Lord please console his friends and family.
DeleteRest in glory Rico.
Dear Candy, i know that feeling. i also wake up a go about my day ever since my mum died. that woman loved God and served him with all her being. yet he allowed her die just like that in her sleep. the pain is just too much to bear i cant explain. it's been 3 long years and i've still not started praying like i do before her death. i pray for peace and the fortitude to bear the loss for all of us who are in pain.
DeleteSupernova, π€π€π€
DeletePrime lady, I know she is.
Finny, we can only ask God for strength.
Anon 19:53, sending you lots of π€π€π€π€π€π€. May God continue to strengthen you dear.
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ReplyDeleteCan't just hold back my tearsπ
Heavy heart, God please make it light.
ReplyDeleteSad. Really sad
ReplyDeleteMay God comfort his family and friends.
ReplyDeleteππππ
ReplyDeleteHmmmm the pain in her writeup can be felt oh God console her and the family of rico, he was such a handsome and lively chap
ReplyDeleteChai.
ReplyDeleteThis brought tears to my eyes.
No one understands unless u are in the shoes, only God mends the broken heart,death is a bastard.
I understand her pains, I have been there. I was numb, I couldn't cry, all I heard over and over again was men don't cry, put yourself together and be there for your sisters. I have done this all my life . Weeks after my life almost ended and I spent over a month in the month. My life was a mess for years . Today, for whatever reason I cry easily. May the Lord rest the souls of the faithful departed.
ReplyDeleteALEXANDER
Dear Alexander, it is well with you. It can only get better.
DeleteI lost my daughter recently and I am still in a limbo and I know am still upset with God. People can say what they like but it's me that knows how my mind, body is hurting.
ReplyDeleteMy condolences. You have the right to be angry with God. But please don't cross the red lines.
DeleteChai, my deepest condolence. Pls take your time to heal, no one should tell you otherwise.
Deleteπ€π€π€
DeleteGaskia, I understand you wella. It is only that God that can console you
DeleteAccept my condolence dear anon
DeleteMay God comfort you and Rico' s family
DeleteAccept my condolence, dear. π€π€π€π€
DeleteThere are times we all feel this way. Before I lost my eldest brother, I didn't understand life, then another brother died, I was still quite young and still learning what pain meant. When I lost my third brother, I broke. Mum and dad followed and then my three sisters. I wanted to be angry with God, in fact I was angry. I became like a mad person, when sitting on the bus or train or even taking a walk I break into tears.
ReplyDeleteI didn't want to go mad, I began to ask God for strength and grace to accept and deal with my pains. I know I can never get over it but I learnt to live with it.
I never look like a person who has experienced pains as I smile a lot naturally.
Nobody gets over death, we just learn to live with the pains. I only know about this boy from the big brother breakdown we get on sdk but I felt his death. So young with so much hope but life has been cut short. May God accept him and may his family and friends and those that loved him find grace to bear this loss. RIPP Rico.
You are right. We just have to live with it. It is well, mehn...
DeleteOh my goodness π³
DeleteMay God continually console you
You have gone through a lot.
DeleteMay God in His infinite Mercy, never let you shed tears again. Nothing but goodness shall follow you from this point on. Amen!!
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Deleteπ€π€π€π€
DeleteIt's so painful to lost a love one in death ππ but God isn't gaining anything, he didn't take him from you and his family, God is not wicked, it's death our last enemy to be brought to nothing by God thereby healing all the pains in our hearts. Please take comfort and be consoled with his wonderful promise to bring our dead love ones back to life.ππ
ReplyDeleteHonestly no one knows tomorrow. This Rico's death psin me. Took down the memory lane when we lost my dad. I prayed I begged God for one more chance and time but guess our ways are not God. I pray God comfort's his family. This is way much for everyone. God rest your soul dear
ReplyDeleteAnother water dropped π’π’. God! Death is very very cruel πππ
ReplyDeleteIt's well dear
ReplyDeleteAccept my condolence Alex
E-hug
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ReplyDeleteits really hurts π π’, may his soul rest in peace.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how she feels. Thought the pain couldn't be any more worse when I lost my dad, till I lost my brother 3 months ago. The pain is out of this world. No amount of words can comfort with this level of pain.
ReplyDeleteI still can't get over the crushing pain, because I sure know I said some very terrible things without asking God questions. Who even brought the rule that we can't question God. When somethings doesn't feel right you ask questions to make it better. Still finding difficult to pray because I keep hearing but you were praying when this happened and all the other stuff, why didn't God answer.
At least I've started going to church but I'm there like I'm not there because same question courses through my mind. I won't judge her writeup because I know exactly how she feels. Been there and still there. May Rico's soul Rest in Peace.
So sad π..... Rest on Rico
ReplyDeleteI pray God comforts his mum and family.
ReplyDeleteMay God rest Rico's soul...
ReplyDeleteSome situations need to questions..
I personally do ask God questions .
I can relate because I have been there.
And I don't wish it to my enemies.
Not easy mehn!
Alex, i understand your pain. When i lost my dad i question God, i said " God, why now" and then my beloved brother, i was broken and said "God, you allowed this happened to me"? And boom, my ever caring and irreplaceable mum, my entire life was shattered, i couldn't eat anything for days even though i was breastfeeding my three months old baby whom this my mum has prayed and fasted to be born yet, she couldn't set her eyes on this baby. I sent almost my last kobo, i prayed, fasted while breastfeeding, had so much faith in God that she will make it. Yet she died, she died when i needed her most, she died when him (God) has remembered me, she died when the good fruit she sowed in me has germinated. It's been two years now but i'm still asking God too many questions on why he (God) has to take her the time he did. It hurts, but i'm trying to adjust and live with the pain.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to everyone struggling with this pain. May God grant you succor and comfort
ReplyDeleteI prayed and prayed and prayed like I'd never prayed before when my mum had cancer. And she still died. My faith and belief died with her because she was the epitome of Christianity. It's almost 3 years now and I still question God. My relationship with him is still not as strong as before, but bcos I know my sweet mum would have been upset with me, I'm trying to return to HIM. I pray for her every day, so I have to talk to HIM when I like it or not
ReplyDelete