Sisi Senaponi - Mamalawo In The Salon

Sisi you are too funny eeeeeh...

Mah de lem as i dey read!

Una doh o! Na who dey haase e!


Stellapotoriko..I salute e!

This life ehn...

Wonders nor dey ever end!


Na salon I dey, I say make I do cornrow after they don wash and dry for me.


Aneva even sidon wey my hairdresser begin ask one customer wey sidon under dryer how far with her housegirl matter?!

As I see say the customer na person wey like gist, I don use sense pull my chair like say I wan plug Phone. I balance and put my ears for upload mode! *kiikiiiikii*


She say the 'smelly' girl is there and 'still alive' o!


Hian! Alive kwa? This woman wey her face cool like morning dew, she nor resembu armu the killer or terrorist fa! *sideeyes*


Na im I say, these young gehs of now adays sef! She say, dey don show you too?!
I say yes o! Plenty sef! *yinmu*


She nor know say na whine I dey whine her! *God abeg e!*


She say, na so her housemaid seduce her younger brother. That one say na she he go marry!


She say for dem village, dey nor dey marry from the geh side. As man dey first the woman die!


I say for my mind, *Oh, una nor fit marry dem but una fit use dem do housegeh?!* I say oooh!


She say nothing wey she nor do to seperate them! She say she go Babalawo sef to break the chain wey the geh use tie the brother *sideeyes*


Nna ehn,Aneva even know when this my chair move me comot from the woman nearness!
God abeg, make this chair nor carry me go where anor know o!


She say she even go spiritualist and na during her waka, okada almost land her inside gutter!

*be like say breeze dey blow outside this my customer salon, make I shift small near the breeze!*


She say to 'matter the worse', na im she hear say the geh don even get belle! Something wey she don tell them to help her and tie!


Na wa o, and I be nor wan comot for house today o! *sideeyes*


I say but madam, shey pipu still dey look all these kain tradition wahala on top marriage these days e?!

She say nor be even that, she say she know say the geh na golddigger yen, yen, yen!

She finish, she comot salon! Anor see de gold!


Na im my hairdresser wan use the same hand of mamalawo on top my destiny, sorry head!

I jump up and say Tufia! Holyghost fire! Thank God say I dey always carry my anointing oyel inside smaller komkom for bag!


No be only kingdom of heaven dey suffer violence! Odi every corner of that salon don dey suffer serious violence!


I carry my hairdresser hand, pour oyel, she begin laff me.


She say she sef na odeshi o!
I say so because you get odeshi, nor mean say you nor fit be transmitter!


She say, she nor dey ever hep the woman comot her headtie anytime she come o!
She say na the woman go comot am herself and tell person when to start!


She say one time, wey the woman come, sidon with phone for ear, she talk in between and signal them say washing and setting!


My hairdresser's new apprentice wey get small mumu for body, comot the woman gele fiam to begin work!


She say na 2 whole weeks that her Apprentice use and nurse serious migraine. Chineke!


I say and una still dey do hair for her!


My headdresser say the woman come test power for there, but e dey unfortunate say the apprentice na new girl and she neva come when she dey warn and 'cook' the others about the particular customer. *sideeyes*


I say I no even see escorts and siren dem for aside as the woman dey comot!


She begin laff, she say the woman nor get shishi, say na the younger brother dey settle her and she nor even wan reason make that one settle down at all!


I say but this house geh matter, I pity her o! This kain mamalawo as mother-in-law! Problem!

My hairdresser Yinmu! She say nothing go do the housegeh!

I say how she take know?! With this woman wey dey break leg on top her matter!

Hairdresser say, wetin the woman nor know be say, the housegeh sef get God and men of God for her back, wey dey assure her to waka, nor look back and nor fear!


I been wonder where these people dey when Lot's wife dey comot for sodom!


I just begin worry as Nse tell me back in those days from Sunday school say na because of wetin Lot's wife do, God come begin call the rest of us salt of the Earth!


*anor go Sunday school the day dem teach us, na she come house tell me dis one, na only God sabi the kain wickedness wey dey the mind of the midwife wey use something clean Nse ear for small! Her ear nor dey ever see road!*


Nse say,na why women own na to dey kitchen, cook cook! Because we be salt! If we no dey kitchen, who go put salt for the soup abi? Nse! *nor worry, na God go judge between me and you, as we fail Sunday school exam sotehh, na we come begin dey wear beret, hold blomblom for the small ones wey pass, leave us!*


When we suppose jor dey sidon, dey shine, dey hep our men spend their money as the diamond that we is! Ndi ten-ten naira salt inside this economy! Hian! Lot's wife nor try abeg!


I say how you know? Hairdresser say na survival of the fittest o! Say na because of where she sef don jam the housegeh, make her know say Mba! that mamalawo better surrender or enter under trailer! Oloooloolooloo E!
Wetin money and man go cause for this life E!

hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahha