Hmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
LIVING TIPS FOR A WOMAN THAT LOOKS LIKE A MAN
Stella please is highly time you help people like me before they will lynch me someday.
I am a woman in my late 40,i have never been asked out my whole life, I have never experienced love and I don't know how it feels.
I grew up not having a family because I have always been used for domestic servant all my life. All my madam trust me with their husband. I was lucky to have been sent to school by one of my madam.
back to my story, I look like a man, I have thick voice and I am very masculine, due to fufu pounding business all my muscles are like that of a weight lifter.
I went to the Market and to my surprise the area boys started charging at me that I am a gay, they snatched my wig and saw I had low cut making the matter worse, they booed me and when I tried to express myself it took another turn, my voice failed me due to fear, I couldn't even recognize my own voice, it sounded like a man that got his p#nis bitten.
Thanks to the police that came to my rescue, they said I should settle them, I had to fully undress as in naked to prove I was a woman, one said but why you resemble man.
Stella please I am scared of going out, please advise me on how to live normal, all the clothes I tried made it worse, I don't have family, no love and still can't live normal life, gays will not let me be. Is this life worth it?
Ah ah this is serious oh... i dont know what to say to you.. dont you have breast that shows?......Why you curl your hair or relax it, instead of wearing wigs? I dont know what to say.....I wish you find love someday soon......
Ah ah this is serious oh... i dont know what to say to you.. dont you have breast that shows?......Why you curl your hair or relax it, instead of wearing wigs? I dont know what to say.....I wish you find love someday soon......
This made me sad… please just dress more feminine. Even grace jones who looks more manly than anyone I have seen, was married once and even had a son! Plus she is doing really well for herself. Please don’t lose hope and don’t hate yourself. Your features will open doors for you.
ReplyDeleteThe good lord will come through for you. Amen
Amen
DeleteI wish I could set this poster up with an image consultant for a makeover. Please believe in yourself and know that you are beautiful. Do what you can girl! Maybe learn a little makeup and find clothes that compliment your figure. You need someone that can see you, evaluate you before advising you. Also try YouTube. You can learn how to walk and act more female. My prayer is that same you will come and testify on this blog. Your blog name is Beauty. Above all God loves you. Celebrate yourself and value your independence. By God's grace you will find the right man who will appreciate you. There are men who married tomboys, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. 🤗
DeleteEven if she dresses more feminine, there are still people out their who will accuse her of being a James Brown wannabe. That she is a cross dresser. It is well with you poster.
DeleteSorry about your predicament @poster. I believe. you have more of male hormone testosterone than the female hormone called estrogen. Your case is not totally hopeless. Pls locate any teaching hospital close to you and demand you want to see their consultant of plastic and cosmetic surgery. He will place u on some hormonal treatment that would help you appear more feminine and all the muscles and thick voice will disappear. They usually do it for hermerphrodites that have more of the female functioning organs compares to that of male.
DeletePoster I'm so sorry about this. Pls learn how to be happy the way you are while you improve on the feminine things.
DeleteYou know the way bobrisky who is a man appears and speak even more feminine than women. You YouTube to learn how to step like a woman and how to speak elegantly like a woman.
Poster, life is not easy for anyone so don't be too hard on yourself.
As a teanager, our then landlord made a bad joke while we were all gisying and laughing. He said to me, " you laugh with all your mouth open " I cried my eyes out but then I started learning how to smile better like a baby girl.
I imitated the laugh style of people I saw and admire Ed on TV and before you know it, I had a very beautiful one myself.
And then landlord called me and say" you are so beautiful the way you laugh. smart girl ".
Pls just improve on the feminine side, OK. 🤗
Take oestrogen hormonal therapy I don't really know the name o
DeleteI'm speechless 😶. Jesus take the wheels.
DeleteThat was completely Criminal and Insane. The kind of things I hear.... Take heart. Can't imagine how damaging that experience was
DeleteThis is really heart breaking. Poster, since this really bothers u, can u try to look more feminine. Like grow ur hair and do really feminine hairstyles. You may find tips on Google to help u get rid of some of those muscles.
ReplyDeleteReally sorry about ur ordeal with the local touts.
Hmm so sorry about your problems poster. I don't even know how to advice you now.
ReplyDeleteJust like Stella asked don't you have breast and boots?
You might look like a man, but try to be more feminine, grow your hair, dress like a woman, some women have big manly voice but it doesn't matter.
Maybe you should talk to a doctor to know what you can do or eat/drink to make you look more feminine.
It is well with you
There's a reason caucasians called Africa the dark Continent. They proving them right.
ReplyDeletePoster, curl your hair, grow it out. Reduce pants, wear jewellery and makeup. You can meet a doc to give you testosterone/androgen blockers.
And who said she did not do all that? The point still remains she looks like a man and wearing make up and the rest makes people think she is a guy disguising to be female. na she know where the shoe dey pinch her. Poster I wish you well.
Deleteanonymous 16:34 e no reach to shout , poster is looking for a solution and you are here shouting untop another person comment. It is well
DeleteAnd what advice do you have for her anon 16:34?
DeleteYou said gays will not let me be
ReplyDeleteThat’s not true. Gay people have gone nothing to you
She's wearing the shoes and knows where hurts,don't make it worse by calling her a liar.
DeleteThat’s not calling her a liar
DeleteThat’s saying she’s blaming the victims
Gay people are not treated well in Nigeria
In the whole story she told, how did gay people create problems did her. Are they asking her out of something. Maybe she should explain
And you anon asking for further explanation, what more do u want her to say? She said gay people won’t let her be, meaning they also make passes at her. May be you missed comprehension classes in school.
Delete16:40 how do you know if she didn’t say it clearly
DeleteAre you a learner?
DeleteIt means gay guys are asking her out thinking she's a man disguised as a woman.
Oh dear Poster am sorry about what you are going through, but all I can't say to you is that God doesn't make mistakes and he made you fair fully and wonderfully with lots of care and details. You might look and feel muscline but it doesn't take away your beauty which is within you and it takes only you to bring her out.
DeleteBeauty is in the eyes of the beholder.. you have to first see yourself as beautiful, before people can be able to see you so. Be confident and proud about the way you look, stop wearing wig for now, grow your hair or if it doesn't grown keep low cut with weaves, get hair products that will make it shine and maintain the nature of your hair.
For your skin get good body cream and bathing soap that would not bleach but tone and moisturize your skin. Some time pamper yourself to a spa or if it's to expensive you can do your local one at home just to relax self by filling your 🛁 bathtub with water with a hand full of bathing salt and lavender oil then lie in it for 10 to 20min depending on the time you have. It Might look like a complete waste of time but with time your muscles will relex.
As for clothes because of your nature which will soon change you can decide to start with unisex cloths, like joggers, snicker and so on. Your will find them online. Wear dresses and hail's only occasionally, when necessary.
I had a cousin that was muscline just as you but she was so proud off her looks she flot it at every little opportunity she gets especially when the weather is hurt she some times drive with her pants and bra or sometimes with her shorts and bra. I was young but I love her so much because of her confidence and the way she carry herself. But it was not always like that for her growing up. She was bullied in school and at home by even her mom but she found herself and she now married and happy where ever she is now. So I know you will also be with time.
Good luck 🤞
You could be placed on estrogen for enhancing your feminine appearance. That could help. Those men that grabbed your wig are bunch of fools.
ReplyDeleteGood point. And she should stop barbing her hair as well.
DeleteIt is well with you!
Ha! Poster you must be going through alot.
ReplyDeleteHave you thought about surgery,there's nothing cosmetic surgeons can't do these days with the help of God.
There's always a solution to every problem,I can't tell you to build your self esteem because it's beyond that,but be strong,never giveup.
How many people do you know that can afford cosmetic surgery?
DeleteSurgery? Do you wanna raise fund for her?
DeletePoster stop wearing pants but Make sure you & tight are 4&5 so that they won't strip u. Go and see those health facility expert Doctors whether you wil be placed on drugs that will help.
May God come through for you.
Mao,So you think that a woman of her age hasn't done all these petty ideas yet.
DeletePoster please,We have internet and the main reason for it is to connect with well meaning people.Start a GOFUNDME account and see if you won't raise the money for cosmetic surgery in no time.
There are still good people out there,Your story is pathetic and captivating,You will get the attention and funds you need from people...Trust me.
Ah!!!
ReplyDeleteI know a lady that had the same features like you. But she never allowed it defined her. She was always seeing with females and males. And she always wear female clothing even though it doesn't fits well.
ReplyDeleteLast I asked about her, she is in a very serious relationship leading to marriage. Poster carry yourself well. As a female.
You have to undress to prove to them you're a woman. This is serious. I feel for you but it's no fault of yours. I guess you're skinny and with a perky breasts that could be the main reason. Women are usually curvy or chubby. Even the slim ones have some curve too at the hip.
ReplyDeleteI will advise, you do more of gown, skirts and blouse. Trousers or t-shirt may not help you. Plait your hair. Use padded bra, make up and I think it will help in bringing out the feminine in you the more.
As for the voice, i don think there's anything you can do about it.
Must you being in curvy or chubby🙄 nawao
DeleteAnd who said she did not do all that? The point still remains she looks like a man and wearing make up and the rest makes people think she is a guy disguising to be female. na she know where the shoe dey pinch her. Poster I wish you well.
DeleteTj say most women from ur area are usually curvy or chubby, don’t say women bcos where i come from, most of us are skinny, some don’t even have curves like me. U will see girl like broomstick yet very very beautiful and feminine.
DeletePoster just do ur best to do away with your masculine attributes. More of make up n less trousers. Choose girly colours too. Goodluck
Poster,there are many women athletes who are masculine in appearance but I don't see them or hear them being lynched in the market or public. How do you dress? How do you carry yourself? Dressing and carriage are two very important things in a woman. Wear clothes that will flatter your feminine traits and detract from the masculine ones. If you have muscles,you have no biz wearing sleeveless clothes. Invest in good wigs and good makeup. Even Bobrisky looks feminine in his makeup and clothes.
ReplyDeleteDress in attires that don't put you all out there now.
ReplyDeleteEmbrace 💄 and other stuff needed to make you look more feminine.
Take a cue from Bob or JB
Hmmmmm I felt this.
ReplyDeleteBaby girl, live your life! Step out of your comfort zone and do girly things e.g makeup, nice flowery dresses, nice body lotions, nice hair styles, paint your nails etc. Go online and check out people (celebs) with your same body structure and see what works for them. Also, build your confidence; read books, posts about confidence and feminine things.
Again,hope you have changed that fufu pounding business of yours? Please do, get a teaching job, sales rep or whatever but biko enough of the fufu biz.
I genuineuly wish you all the good things life has in store for you.
I really don’t know how to advice this poster because the Nigerian environment is not in any way encouraging to people with this kind of issues but I will say this..pls look for like minds,people with the same kind of issues you have and mingle with them to build your confidence,that is the first step.
ReplyDeleteJust get a stylist and voice elocution lessons, if someone I know with strong igbotic local village accent can change so can you.
ReplyDeleteReally sorry for the unfortunate incident. Nigeria needs to stop homophobia.
ReplyDeleteYou can visit a gnae. There are hormonal medications that can make you more effeminate.
Sorry about your ordeal..😞
ReplyDeleteKai,this made me so sad.
ReplyDeleteNo dressing,no makeup or hair can change or help your looks if u dont first feel great in your own skin, God made your voice that way,circumstances gave you muscle, both were beyond your control , you have to accept it and dont allow negative talks or people to dim your shine.
You are a woman,say it to yourself everyday,feel it,walk it,talk it,act it, your rightful man will come to you at your best.
You gat this.
Poster, your problem get solution na, think about people that were born with life threatening issues. Eg cancer
ReplyDeletePlease go on a white dating site, I believe you will meet exposed men that will love you for who you are.
It’s well with you
Thanks to the police that came to my rescue, they said I should settle them, I had to fully undress as in naked to prove I was a woman, one said but why you resemble man.
ReplyDeleteYou should take your case to that igp hundeyin on Twitter
Report these foolish policemen
You have been through alot I can tell. Go see a doctor for those testosterone blockers ... Eat tumeric and drink zobo to harmonize your hormones. But also don't feel down there are men who would love you s you are trust me .they exist. Men whose desire borders around the periphery of gayism but not. Go out talk to people ...
ReplyDeleteHian,
DeleteWhich one be periphery of gayism again? ehhn Mr. Hammer?
It is well
ReplyDeleteAhhh my dear poster. I can only imagine what you must be going through.. I think you can work on your voice to sound a little feminine.. You will need a lot of practice on that though. I also think you should wear more of braids and ditch wigs for a while. I really suck at giving advices but this chronicle touched me Sha..
ReplyDeleteObi for President
Wizkid FC
Proudly TIV
Embrace your looks
ReplyDeleteTrying to look feminine will probably make you look like a pretender
Take off the wig unless you like them. Wear your hair short. Wear trousers or shorts. Next they’ll say you’re a woman but lesbian
Stella, I'm a woman im not gay but I'd really love to be this lady's friend. I have been a bv since Mercy Aigbe Gentry Jalabia saga. I don't have a blog ID after millions of tries. My name is Maryann.
ReplyDelete😍😍😍
DeleteSo sorry love ....you are beautiful always say this to yourself!
ReplyDeleteAm confuse right now dear.but pls don't stop trusting God.he made us all and gave us life.u can start making ur hair like ladies.its well..
ReplyDeleteDear poster, sorry about what you've been through. You don't need to worry yourself too much, if someone like Bobrisky fit transform using makeup and feminine clothings, you too can transform yourself no matter how bad you look. This life na packaging and you gat learn am.
ReplyDeleteLearn how to use makeup very well.
Take care of your skin by exfoliating, eating fruits, avoid walking under sun and using good body lotion.
Learn how to dress well, wear heels and wigs that suit your facial structure
Buy nice feminine perfume and wear whenever you re going .
Lastly, Always wear a smile.
Sorry for what you're going through,be dressing like a woman,fix nails ,plait hair ,apply make up on your face. I pray you'll find love someday.
ReplyDeleteMy darling I understand you perfectly well,I know people like that no amount of feminine wear still shows they are female,if you ask me I suggest you should be more on trouser and a polo,low cut will be better (wig wil be more contradicting)but if say your body built is as a result of years of pounding fufu,it can be corrected (try being a vegetarian for months is not easy but it will help change your look )
ReplyDeletePls how does it work? I’m genuinely interested
DeleteThe only place where you will not be judged is abroad.
ReplyDeleteIt is well.
DeleteAbi use the situation to your advantage
DeleteTry to get a police report or record of what happened
You might need it one day to seek asylum in a foreign country
O God, I felt really sad reading this. I am so sorry for what you went through, yeah I think I'll go with Stella please try to grow your hair even if is just small, so that you can curl it and again wear mostly feminine wear. You're loved sis.
ReplyDeleteI heart you....
U may have a medical condition. Maybe u are a hermaphrodite with hidden male genitalia or u have an excess production of testosterone. Go see a dr and they may be able to help u by monitoring ur hormonal level.
ReplyDeletehere is another another angle which a Bv already suggested she should see a doctor.
DeleteDear poster please embrace your look and make yourself happy all the time
ReplyDeleteTry to see a doctor that will help you out with that hormonal medications that can at least help your look a bit. Take life a step at a time
ReplyDeleteYou did not Create yourself. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Use your nature to your advantage. Do things that makes you stand out.
ReplyDeleteSerena Williams had a manly body frame(muscles and all) but she accentuates her shape by wearing girly outfits and hair accessories. Poster please don’t loose hope. Grow out your hair and dress feminine.
ReplyDeleteSerena has curves. Backside, sizable breast.
DeletePoster so sorry about your ordeal.
ReplyDeleteI felt bad reading this,stay strong sis,I am sorry about what you went through.
ReplyDeleteOh dear, I feel bad reading this. Plait your hair, do make up dress like a woman.
ReplyDeleteSee the advantages in your situation,turn it around in your flavor
ReplyDeleteOmo,see you ,see asylum. Use it to your advantage, secure Vida to US PR Canada, seek asylum. You have to bait this people,make dem beat you why someone record it, and call for help if the beating get out of hands, then use it once you get to abroad
ReplyDeleteThis is enough to seek asylum in a saner clime!!! Please follow it up and do it as soon as you can
ReplyDeleteYou need to see a gynaecologist (women's doctor) and a clinical psychologist. The gynae will run some hormonal assay . Your hormones esp testosterone is what is making you look that was and it can be managed. They are available in teaching hospitals in Nigeria.
ReplyDeleteSecondly the gynae will refer you to a clinical psychologist in the same teaching hospital for counseling on body image. Your self esteem needs to be assessed and improved on.
Cheer up.. All the best..
So sorry for what you're going through, please see a doctor.
ReplyDeleteIt's so sad..no one should go through this. I don't even know what to say
ReplyDeleteHonestly I don't know what to say, I am sorry for your predicament.
ReplyDeleteJust know that one day you will be happy because you deserve to be genuinely happy. Hugsss darling 🎊
You have been through a lot of trauma. It’s so sad. First you need to see an Endocrinologist. They specialize in treating hormonal disorders. You may have one.You also need to see a gynecologist so they can coordinate your care.
ReplyDeleteI don’t know if you have a job or funds but you need to raise funds. Don’t be ashamed. There is need for you to find your way to a western country. They will treat you. Hormones can cause a lot. Some men get testosterone injection weekly to be more masculine and women too get estrogens and progesterones either to help with fertility or when levels are t what they should be such as menopause. Even people born very short get prescribed growth hormones before a certain age so they can be taller than they otherwise would have been. If you are unemployed find someone to set up a gofundme online and showcase your predicament. The heart of man is wicked and I’m not saying one of those madams was wicked but you never know what some can do to ensure you are not appealing to their husband. Lastly please see if you can go to mfm prayer city and attend their deliverance program. May God come through for you in Jesus Name.
This broke my heart and brought tears because you didn't create yourself. Sending you 💓
ReplyDeleteAm sorry for all you had to go through my sister. This helps
ReplyDeleteIf you have the cash, take estrogen pills, it helps to Feminise one’s looks.
I hope you feel better soon