Hmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
TORTURED BY GUILTY CONSCIENCE
Hello Stella,
I need help
I feel like I may gradually fall into depression because i got myself involved in what I can easily come out from but my conscience is really punishing me.
I got into an affair with a married man, I have always known him since he was single...
He kept asking me out back then, but I declined cause he mentioned he was in a serious relationship.
How did I go from that girl who prides herself that she can’t date a married man to one who now sleeps with one?
How did I miss all the rules?
I feel like I live like a double life
I have people who would vouch for me that I can’t be with a married man.
This whole thing started during the lockdown when I was financially handicap, I talked myself into doing it and here I am enslaved by my own mind.
It seems like I keep hating myself, I am hurting.
My conscience is wicked, it talks me down whenever I go to see him which is not a regular thing.
My conscience whisper things like “ Miss independent that survives on Adultery, imagine how cheap you stood for a penny” and lots more.
I have made up my mind to walk away on several occasions but I always find myself back whenever I have needs I can’t meet, I am not lazy, I work multiple jobs, i don’t live flamboyantly, this needs I am talking about are things I need to set up myself for a better life.
He has be offering me to be his second wife which I have always rejected, he knows I don’t share a bond with him, I am just for the money.
I can’t seem to find out what the problem is cause I have never find anybody husband attractive, once I know you are married, my heart automatically blocks you
I don’t love this guy, I can’t stand the touch, I curse under my breath whenever we have to see.
Lately, my conscience have been telling me to opt out before I end up killing him or acting my irritation.
I need help
It is a secret I can’t tell anyone, No one knows about this
I now see myself like who God has forsaken
Everything seems to be on a stand still, I am sad deep down inside me
I can’t continue like this, I shouldn’t be giving myself this much headache cause of another woman’s husband.....
The guilt is killing me, I feel the need to make this confession as my conscience told me it is necessary to unload the burden
I want to be free, I want to be out of this, insults won’t do
Thank you
*I dont get it, why in heavens name are you torturing yourself.. why not break up with him? you said you are with him because of money and not love, meaning your longer throat personality was unveiled during COVID!
I need help
I feel like I may gradually fall into depression because i got myself involved in what I can easily come out from but my conscience is really punishing me.
I got into an affair with a married man, I have always known him since he was single...
He kept asking me out back then, but I declined cause he mentioned he was in a serious relationship.
How did I go from that girl who prides herself that she can’t date a married man to one who now sleeps with one?
How did I miss all the rules?
I feel like I live like a double life
I have people who would vouch for me that I can’t be with a married man.
This whole thing started during the lockdown when I was financially handicap, I talked myself into doing it and here I am enslaved by my own mind.
It seems like I keep hating myself, I am hurting.
My conscience is wicked, it talks me down whenever I go to see him which is not a regular thing.
My conscience whisper things like “ Miss independent that survives on Adultery, imagine how cheap you stood for a penny” and lots more.
I have made up my mind to walk away on several occasions but I always find myself back whenever I have needs I can’t meet, I am not lazy, I work multiple jobs, i don’t live flamboyantly, this needs I am talking about are things I need to set up myself for a better life.
He has be offering me to be his second wife which I have always rejected, he knows I don’t share a bond with him, I am just for the money.
I can’t seem to find out what the problem is cause I have never find anybody husband attractive, once I know you are married, my heart automatically blocks you
I don’t love this guy, I can’t stand the touch, I curse under my breath whenever we have to see.
Lately, my conscience have been telling me to opt out before I end up killing him or acting my irritation.
I need help
It is a secret I can’t tell anyone, No one knows about this
I now see myself like who God has forsaken
Everything seems to be on a stand still, I am sad deep down inside me
I can’t continue like this, I shouldn’t be giving myself this much headache cause of another woman’s husband.....
The guilt is killing me, I feel the need to make this confession as my conscience told me it is necessary to unload the burden
I want to be free, I want to be out of this, insults won’t do
Thank you
*I dont get it, why in heavens name are you torturing yourself.. why not break up with him? you said you are with him because of money and not love, meaning your longer throat personality was unveiled during COVID!
Break up with him or continue nacking and collecting money, there is nothing else i can do for right now......
If he is a Muslim and proposing you be his second wife, since you like money so much, i suggest you marry him, love will come later, if not, na you sabi oh.
End the relationship now. Stella mama...unveiled during covid🤣🤣🤣🤣. Good afternoon
ReplyDeleteEnd the relationship and spare yourself the guilt.
DeleteReal longer throat. Imagine how cheap you stood for a penny ( in your own words)
DeleteDem don jazz you oh!!!
DeleteSerious jazz for that matter.
Hmmm better go for deliverance.
And no, I'm not joking.
Poster download this song 'jireh' by elevation worship & maverick etc listen to those lyrics n use it to talk to God. He is more than enough for you if you have made up your mind to forsake sin. Good luck
DeleteMay we not see situation that will lead us into what we are not proud of
ReplyDeleteAmen
DeleteAmen oo
DeleteI don’t get. What spectacular edgy life/death situation did she say she went through sef? Did she say she needed money to save someone’s life or hers?
DeleteShe said ‘this needs I am talking about are things I need to set up myself for a better life.’ Isn’t that pure greed and hunger for the baby gurl lifestyle? Someone who’s earns from multiple job?
Or is she still going through the situation till now since 2020?? This one na pure side chic wey know wetin she dey do.
Amen
DeleteAmennnn 🙏🙏🙏🙏
DeleteAmen.
DeleteThank you@16:11.
DeleteMake hano tuk.
Amen ooo
DeleteThe dick or money is confusing you or what? Na ment? Why would you even think of killing him? Did he offend you? And so? Are you ok? Is anything tying you there since you don't love him? Which kind self lamentation is this? Mtcheew.
ReplyDeleteLmao.
DeleteSluttychic.
It's definitely not the former, if it were she wouldn't be cursing under her breath and be repulsed by his touch.
DeletePoster you've beaten up yourself enough already, it's time to get up, dust your ass and flee. Ask yourself how you've been coping before you met him. You are mentally trapped and until you get to the point where you say "I'd rather die of starvation than go back to him" you'll keep having a relapse. Don't take prayers for granted, tell your heavenly father to save you out of this MESS. He will if you are ready and sincere. Always remember God's concerned about you regardless of how low you fall, He'll pick you up and show you MERCY!
Maybe the man don jazz her
Delete@giftmoesha, this actually occurred to me, it sounds weird but some men jazz women to be with them.
DeleteEither his dick game bad gan or he jazzed you
DeleteWalk away now.
ReplyDeleteMay we not be dickmagneted as a result of life problem, amen.
DeleteSeriously, you are not ready to leave him. You have not been truthful with the information. What is keeping you with him isn't money anymore if you are working.. Na change you been dey collect if not, you won't return to him..
DeleteThere's absolutely nothing someone will not read on Stella's blog. If you're truly serious, you'll end that relationship and be free from the torture that you're torturing yourself.
ReplyDeletePls poster,be determined.get ur priority straight.since u are not happy dating a married man why not let him go in peace.u can get a good paying job and be content with whatever income that comes ur way.work on ur mind.u will be fine
DeleteYou are greedy, u have multiple jobs yet you can't save to take care of yourself, all what u wrote here is just formality. If since lockdown u haven't been able to save till now my dear you don't want to leave him.. I am sure he isn't giving you money as u expect that's why u wrote this epistle.
ReplyDeleteProbably living above her means and sleeping with a married man, first cut down any expense you can't afford and you'll have no need to go back to him.
DeleteI can't judge you but sincerely you caused all these to ursef .why will the love of money put you into this trash.
ReplyDeleteMadam, I have to be sincere, you need help from a psychologist because you aren't the verge of destroying yourself
My sister, the love of money has made ur heart stick to him and you are there pretending not to love him..Why come up with the idea of killing when you know u are not I to him
My sister, think
Opt out now
ReplyDeleteWhat's with the plenty shalaye?
Lol… see shalaye. You prolly take BVs for fools.
ReplyDeleteGreedy undercover ahewo!
Lol @undercover ahewo.
DeleteDon’t mind her.
She wan whyne BVs.
You no serious.. na longer throat go kill you
ReplyDeleteNo one needs to judge you, because we weren't wearing your shoes. Yet you always have a choice.
ReplyDeleteThere are many things we can't do by ourselves, this is one of such things. What then do you do? Go on your knees and ask God to break this chain. And be willing to accept the decision to quit. There's a spirit attached to fornication and adultery. Yours is still one man, act now before it grows into full-time business.
May God heal your broken spirit and give you the grace to walkaway, before it consumes you.
👍 Great comment read so far. Respect.
DeleteAmen
DeletePoster please take this advice seriously,may God deliver you🙏
DeleteYou want us to tell you how to get rid of your “wicked” guilty conscience so you can continue with the nonsense you are doing?
ReplyDeleteDon’t worry continue over time the conscience will die down because the spirit of God even said he would not continue to strive with your will for long.
You feel sad and empty yet you keep going back, continue, maybe one day Thunder will strike from heaven and the jinx of love for material things he has over you will break and you will finally be free and happy.
Don’t block him o. Don’t delete his number from your phone. Continue trading your future blessings for peanuts today. Continue.
Sis, since you are already doing it for the money, y don't you talk to him to set you up financially. If you quit now, you might end up begging him to take you back when you go broke. So just close your eyes and continue till you get enough before ending it. That way it's a win situation for you and you won't go back. No one will know if you don't tell anybody. Just be coded
ReplyDeletePoster, you see this advise from Phrizzles, na so many girls take enter full time hook up and runs wey dem never fit comot for many years now. Pray hard and cut your coat according to your cloth, stay away from people and places that make you spend unnecessarily, you'll be fine.
DeleteThis phrizzles
DeleteI remember one chronicle where a Girl said she sleeps around or something like that
And you said ‘we’ve all been there’
Now I know exactly what you mean
See advice from the pit of hell
Are you a woman? Imagine the man is your husband.
DeleteAre you a man? Imagine the man is your sister's husband and they have children to cater.
Would you advise as you did?
Lol Stella see tire for the poster, poster leave the guy or better still abandon him before you kill somebody father and husband because of your guilt. You don’t sound like a loveably person or a romantic lady or a future wife, you sound more like an undercover motherfucker.
ReplyDeleteAll in your hands madam!!
ReplyDeleteYour conscience is alive and I understand your guilt. Whenever one's conscience disturbs them like this, know that there's a looming danger ahead.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is an institution ordained by God Himself and anyone trying to put asunder doesn't end well.
Pls break off from him now. You can't get anything good from sleeping with a married man, another woman's husband. I know people who did that and never ended well. The gain is only but temporal but the damage and repercussions are always devastating.
I know it's not easy, but discipline yourself and draw more closer to God in prayers to help you overcome the lust of the flesh and material gratification.
Prayers will go a long way in ordering your steps and actions.
You are making me confused as if there's more to your story. This man didn't force himself on you, instead you willingly accepted him for selfish reasons. You work multiple jobs and still can't make ends meet? It's because you're still with him, leave him and you'll find out you can pretty well survive without his money. It's all in your head
ReplyDeleteThe solution to your problem is in your hand. Break the relationship and be free.
ReplyDeleteWhat are you even saying?
ReplyDeleteYour conscience is condemning you, yet you are not ready to leave him because of the money. Guilty conscience indeed.
Madam you are enjoying the money. You have no excuse. From covid hardship to using the money to better yourself in 2022. Check your calendar, its September 2022.
You think he does not know you are there for the money?
Someone you could not date while he was in a relationship, now its difficult for you to leave him even as a married man.
Not everything needs chronicle. Leave him alone and move on. Forget the money, close your eyes to this sin and free your conscience.
Sista Jane.
You say it's his money that's holding you,yet you haven't garnered enough from him to free yourself from this bondage...ewww,he must have been giving you peanuts.
ReplyDeleteIf it's sympathy you want,you will never get it here,repent and sin no more.
I HATE ENABLERS OF ADULTERY!
My darling, Walk out and keep rewarding yourself whenever you go more than a month without seeing him,it is called self descipline...... and pray fervently to loose yourself from spirit called niccumbus(hope I got the spelling),its a wicked spirit that pushes one to fornication and adultery.
ReplyDeleteBreak off and sin no more ,pls forgive yourselves and move on but like stella said if he is a Muslim nothing is bad in been a second wife after all it is better than prostitution ,I don't condemn you times are hard and many are doing unholy things to make end meet even married people
ReplyDeleteGod has not forsaken you, He still has much love for you.
ReplyDeleteDo you live alone? if yes, find a roommate, get friend you're both accountable to each other, it helps a lot.
There's nothing I don't call my friend to talk about, we are of the same age group, expresciencing the single life together and understand what it takes to stand for God even when mouth watering opportunities comes our way that will take away our peace.
You need to find your way back, pray it out to God, He cares and listens. Pray your way out of that shackle.
Felicity
It's easy poster. At least you don't love him. Dump him and face what you're doing and channel your attention to it to make you rich so you don't run back to him for any assistance. Please don't beat yourself up abeg this one no be issues o.
ReplyDeleteposter why just going on and on over nothing just tell yourself the truth you are being greedy how can you do multiple jobs and you still cannot meet your needs it shows the kind of lifestyle you are living. I thank God that your conscience is not letting you rest maybe the prayers of the wife .end this relationship now so that you can have your peace. Always remember they can never be peace for the wicked.
ReplyDeleteIt's easy poster. At least you don't love him. Dump him and face what you're doing and channel your attention to it to make you rich so you don't run back to him for any assistance. Please don't beat yourself up abeg this one no be issues o. Please am I the only one having issues publishing my comments?
ReplyDeleteOkay. At least block his contact channels. And just stop going to be with him. To assist you, think about possible bewitchment by his wife or a curse laid against your future husband and children.
ReplyDeleteIf above does not work, please don't harm him.
I almost forgot, think about life threatening sti also even if you wear rainboots.
Please just walk away.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you are in love with him.search your heart
ReplyDeleteThis babe is crazy over something she is yet to recognise it or understand. Lol
ReplyDeletePoster please you have the power to so amd undo.
You take your phone and tell that man you are done. Its as easy as this.
Or does he have anything he is using to blackmail you?
End this unhealthy relationship and move on.
You entered this for the money, now you can stand on your feet why not move on?
Them tie you? No go murder person pickin just bcos of what I don't even know.
Wetin dey worry you
Eya, I understand wat lack of money can do.
ReplyDeleteOnly you can decide if u want to continue or wen you want to stop,life continues, I wish you the best.
Poster thank God your conscience is alive. Start by blocking him and delete his contacts on your phone. Enough with condemning yourself, and ask God to forgive you. Yes you think God is not waiting for you to genuinely repent and come to him to get rest. Now you need just 3 weeks to break away from a bad habit or character. Cry to the Lord; a broken and contrite heart the lord will not despise; pour out your heart to him. God is in the business of redeeming his children. Read the bible, books that will help you break some habits.Remember Mary Magdalene. All the best
ReplyDeleteAbeg comot here poster.
ReplyDeleteYou want to kill him bawo.
Cut him off and free yourself.
I was in same situation though we didn't av sex. But I felt really bad. I cut him off and now I'm free living my life.
You better leave because no body is holding you there, if u like continue till u kill someone. You will be trouble.
I was in a really bad place. Came out of a messy break-up. I felt betrayed and cheap. .I was so lost and I ended up dating a married man. Later I got better and left him. Leave him pls.
ReplyDeleteWhen your conscience keeps disturbing you about a particular issue , then you need to stop doing it, no matter the financial situation, discipline yourself and stay away from the guy, God loves us all no matter what we do, move on from this man, best of luck.
ReplyDeleteWhat is this one even saying cos you didn't mention having a child with him or pregnant for him. Since non of these two is your present condition why are you finding it do difficult to walk away?
ReplyDeleteNo I think you are still holding onto him cos of the money, gifts and other materials things you can get from him else you shouldn't be asking us this question.
Come to think of it you never consulted us before you said yes, why now. You should walk away if truly you mean you don't want to date a married man again.
Sister be contented with the little you have and face front.
Ike gwurum na this Chronicle, poster i really don't know what to say to u, if everyone in ur situation is sleeping with married men to survive, the world would be in lack of honourable female doctors, lawyers, bankers and so on, who are of immerse help to the society, realease the innocent conscience u have imprisoned, get it discharged and acquitted u will then know what to do.
ReplyDeleteStep 1: Acceptance. Check. You've identified your problem and wish to desist from it
ReplyDeleteStep 2: Pride and greed. There's no such thing as an unforgivable sin. Yes, it remains in your conscience and you struggle with it everyday but eventually you learn to live with the guilt and even to learn to share the experience with mentees and some others going through the same part as you. You're sub-consciously greedy and he's always readily available to satisfy your needs. Work on your pride and greed. You alone hold the keys to your independence
Step 3: Physical and mental block. Tell him how you feel. Tell him about your rational and irrational hatred for his touch and subsequent affair. Tell him him you're only interested in him for the things that he can provide for you. Write an epistle of how you feel about him first via watsapp msg and block him immediately. If he really genuinely loves you, he'll try finding you. So you'll have to stay away from him for a while. Visit friends and family. You don't have to tell them anything. He'll definitely call you to offer you what you need or ask to talk. Stay away from him until you've found your strength
Step 4: Running has never solved anything so eventually you'll need to test your self so when you're ready, set a meet but don't go alone. If you must go alone then the meet should be in a public place like a church. Yes church.
Step 5: learn to forgive yourself. Nobody is perfect and people will judge you for you're actions but whatever. What's done is done. It happened and it can happen to anyone. After all the steps. They'll possibly be occasional slips so self control is key. One major problem you have is that you feel more deserving of him than his wife afterall he did ask you out.
But my dear, sorry to burst your bubble because if he wanted you, he would have remained persistent in the chase. His wife has something you don't and you are offering something his wife is probably not.
The solution to your problem is now in your hands. It's not easy. You have an addiction fueled by your fantasy, desire, pride and greed. Quit the self righteous attitude and work on yourself. Nobody is that holy. We all are sinners. Difference is most of us are ready to face the consequence of our actions. Are you?
Not supporting your actions,but sometimes situations can push you to do what you must have vowed never to do in life.
ReplyDeleteIf you have been sleeping with him since year 2020 and till now you haven’t saved enough to acquire what u need to set yourself free from this relationship that gives you a heartache, then I wonder when you will save enough to leave. You are not a contented person if not you will have taken a walk since.
Hmmm,nwa nmebi.
ReplyDeletePoster, would you want another woman to do what you're doing right now to your husband when you marry in the future? If yes,then continue to sleep with him for money; if no,then LEAVE HIM ALONE !.
ReplyDeleteJust gather enough courage to walk away from the situationship you put yourself in for your Peace of mind.
ReplyDeleterestitution will help you.
ReplyDeleteSee how the advice, comments and suggestions go? No gender tripping. Shouldn't it be like this always - case per case, chronicle per chronicle?
ReplyDeletePoster, have you prayed about it?
ReplyDelete.. Come boldly before the throne of grace and obtain mercy and grace to help in time of need...
That's God's word to you. He hates iniquity, not you. He loves you enough to open this roure for you. Right there on your bed, just cry out to Him, apologise for your disobedience and wickedness and ask for help.
The man may even have jazzed you which may be why even though you hate this, you can't stop.
I believe so much in the power of prayers. Do pray dear. Yes you can!!