PAINFUL BREAKUP
I'm so heart broken. My boyfriend broke up with me some weeks ago, after we had a little misunderstanding. I haven’t been myself since that day, I can't sleep well. l keep thinking about him every day, why he could hurts me this way.
I try to put a smiling face outwardly and forced myself to act normal whenever l'm in the midst of people, but deep down my heart, l can't stand this heartbreak ..
I was chatting with my boyfriend one afternoon, so l complained to him that l wasn't feeling fine, also hungry at the same time...... he said l should get food and eat so that the sickness can stop, l said okay later, So after much time, l didn't hear from him, if na before, him for don ask me about the food, but he didn't, only for me to see his message later on, saying "you say you want to eat food".
Honestly speaking l became confused and annoyed by this question, something we have discussed earlier on, you are now asking me if l want to eat food. I don't even know what to say, so l told him that l don't understand his question, thinking that he will reply me or at least make some jokes about it. But he didn't say anything, instead he ignored me, for 2 days...., he didn't speak to me. So on the third day, l decided to know why he has been ignoring me, whether its becos of what someone posted online that very day that relates to food that made him to ignore me, or another thing entirely of which l don't know his reason for keeping me quiet.
I also went on to say other things out of annoyance, becos l was dealing with menstrual pain that day. My boyfriend said he had no clue about the online stuff l'm talking about, and said l should stop talking about irrelevant things and focused on the matter. He got annoyed and breakup with me. l apologise to him, he refused to accept my apology.
I told him sorry for the mistake l have made, but he didn't want to listen to me, he became more angry and told me to give him a break just for me to stop apologing to him. I called him severally that day no response, and when he finally pick the the call, his voice was so harsh, l tried to explain and still apologise again to him. But he insisted that it's over.
I'm shocked with his response after the whole thing, it appears he's now making jest of me with his reply. I love my boyfriend soo much, l have not loved another man like this, l have been loyal and respectful to him, have not talk to him in this manner before, l don't know if its becos of menstrual pains which l was dealing with that day that made me to react in this manner.
A relationship that was leading to marriage, infact its this new month we planned to start the process for our marriage, can't believe this is happening to me at the moment ..
*What happened is not serious enough to initiate a breakup unless he was already looking for an excuse to breakup with you.
Stop begging him and try to re- evaluate the relationship, I dont know about him being a good man but this type will keep malice with you in the Marriage until you beg and beg.
Dont worry, you wont die, break ups hurt alright but only for a while.
Let him go. You will be fine. Good afternoon
ReplyDeleteGuy had his mind made up the entire time...proli just stalling with hopes to drag and delay, the incident only made it easier for him to opt out. Pull yourself together, you will be fine... he fit even come back sef...men were raised with the option of two boobies..know that and know peace😉
DeletePoster read the ART OF LETTING GO..It's a book or so..There comes a time when you over apologize, you bring yourself low and become a walk over...Both of you have your fair share of blame however you need to move on and stop apologizing to him...Allow him go and get fully engaged on things that you enjoy so much..You will be fine okay E-hugs...Wetin dey front better pass the one wey dey for back...Own your mistakes don't blame it on menstrual pain e.t.c; you can study some short courses on emotional intelligence...All the best...
DeleteHe didn't want to marry you. He was looking for any excuse to dump you already as the time was ticking. He isn't someone that you should take seriously. I'm sorry you are hurt but you have to move on. Focus on core values for a future spouse and be very observant. You won't have to force yourself on the right one.
DeleteThank you Phoenix.
DeleteHe's not into you the same way you do.
ReplyDeleteWake up and smell the dang coffee.
He's possibly not interested in you again and had to go all petty on you for the whole sham of a relationship to end.
Cheer up and move on with your life.
I listened to a marriage counselor that said no breakup is impromptu, the person has been thinking and planning for months before deciding to do it, they may just use any small incident to break up.
ReplyDeleteCry, heal and move on, you have apologized severally and if it's just that thing you said, the apology is enough, he already wanted to go so let him go. It's really painful but it's a part of life, heal, be stronger and may God bless you with a better person.
Every breakup has been planned and rehearsed and when it happened, thank God and move on. Work on your character and be sincere.
DeleteCounselor was right.
DeleteMy dear take your time to cry because crying 😭 is good medicine for pain but don't remain there move on because as painful as it is he had it planned for a long time. Am sorry, but your life must go on okay. He doesn't deserve you
DeleteDust yourself, do what makes you happy and be happy so that a better person will see you okay. When one door close is because another other better door's are opening. Cheer up
You have already apologised. Stop begging him. Don't make him feel dating him is a do or die thing. He said you should give him space, give it to him. Stop calling, or texting him. Mute his status on whatsapp. STOP every means of communicating with him. When he is ready, he will tell you why he is acting funny (if at all he tells you sef), and please FOCUS on your life. You are your own priority.
ReplyDeleteSister poster
DeleteMOVE ONWARD AND UPWARDS!
No take him back o.
DeleteYou sound too desperate my dear and too clingy. Looks like the only identity you have is this your boyfriend. Do you wait for someone to tell you to eat before you do.
ReplyDeleteI also think you are not very much in control of your emotions. So I suggest you step back a little and evaluate the situation like Stella said. In that way you are also getting your emotions under check. Don’t kill yourself over one man that’s not that into you abeg
Zendaya
Dude got tired of her. Imagine letting him know before eating. What fcukery is this now??? You’ve completely lost your self identity in this relationship. He doesn’t want to marry you poster. He found a flimsy excuse to break up with you because he probably wants a woman who can hold her own emotionally and not be overly clingy ahn ahn. I cringed reading your chronicle honestly. A man with flesh and blood like you messing you up like this?? My goodness. Just STOP with the foolishness please. You’ll be fine.
DeleteVery clingy! I felt choked as I was reading.
DeletePoster what part of 'give him a break' do you not understand? I know it's really painful and all but please don't ever call or text him again and move on. Delete his number too to avoid temptation, you'll be fine in no time
Lol she was just gisting him about her day
DeleteAbi what do you think people in relationships discuss
Poster no vex I no fit read everything finish e too long and e tire.Other people go advice you inugo?warm hugs
ReplyDeleteJust like Stella said, whatever happened between you two hasn't warrant him call off the relationship or there's something else you aren't saying.
ReplyDeleteStella has said what's on my mind already. I don't understand how that led to a breakup honestly. I feel he only needed an excuse to do that. And you have begged and begged, still he insists he doesn't want you back.
ReplyDeleteYou'll be fine sis
Poster that brother had moved on and you should do that as well. It hurts but trust me you will be fine.
ReplyDeleteIf you ask me, he never wanted to marry you. I think he's been playing you all along because someone that's serious about planning marriage with you next month won't just break up with you over this little misunderstanding (as you narrated).
ReplyDeleteI will advise you forget about him and move on because it's obvious that if you end up getting married to him, you will write in more chronicles because of the kind of treatments you will get from him in that marriage.
It's never too late to start over again. Hold on and keep hoping on God for a better man. Goodluck.
See man wey Dey do like sisi pelebe very petty human being, he should getat abeggi !!! Na man he be he no be God. He should carry his manhood and marriage away . Na woman wey fit am he go meet for front. Poster don’t worry you ll pass the phase in no time.
ReplyDeleteThis was me before always apologizing and apologizing both for the for things I did and didn't do. Insignificant things sef. The last time after accepting my apology I wasn't coming back to show love in the relationship or continue begging for small small things which someone that claims to be in love with you will overlook. I came back to take my own pound of flesh. I made a conscious effort to hate him and everything that I used to like about it that made it seem like I can't do without him and now there's no feeling for him. As if he knows that there is no feeling again and now he is trying to be loving and all but I no send again. Right now roles have switched he begs and begs for little things and I hold it as a grudge till I am satisfied. I can go days and sometimes weeks without reaching out to him and I won't feel it unlike before. Loving someone makes you vulnerable and at their mercy. That is why you are experiencing this level of pain.
ReplyDeleteBecause you love him but for him he is in there with his head
Instead of you to break up this stupid relationship, you’re keeping malice. For how long? When you’ll live in the same house with him, with kids, I wonder how you’ll handle it. It’s doable now because you don’t live together. Trust me it’s not fun keeping malice when you get to see him and live with him every day. It’s emotional exhausting and detrimental to your mental health. Marry someone who’s emotionally mature, who communicates his mind so you can move on from arguments and also build your self worth so you won’t have to apologize for every damn thing. You both need to grow the hell up. Again, end this relationship chichi.
DeletePlease, you are suffering your heart and damaging your soul in your maliceship with this man you wrote about.
DeleteYes, you have grown or have acquired power, but ...you will know what you have done to yourself when you part ways with this man or when you meet a man worthy of the person you were before you "grew".
Mr. Mann
The both of you lack emotional intelligence. Why would you be intentionally hurting someone you are in a relationship with? I dont gerit. If you are fed up break things off and move on. You are actually no better than him
Delete16:27 if they live in the same house, they will communicate via WhatsApp when they are dancing around in malice.
DeleteI wasn't keeping malice with him, rather he was the one that ignored me for 2 to 3 days.
DeletePoster I think they are responding to Chichi.
DeleteSee if the quote below make any sense to you:
ReplyDeleteIf you're not being treated with love and respect, check your 'price tag'. Perhaps you have marked yourself down. It's 'you' who tells people what you're worth by what you accept. Get off the 'clearance rack' and get behind the glass where they keep all the valuables. "That's where you belong."
~INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE'S JOURNAL
Nice one SBB 🥰
DeleteYou seem kinda annoying sha, so anytime u are on your period he will be walking on egg shells so that u won't lash out, e reach to run from you.
ReplyDeleteHe frustrated her into lashing out not ignoring her for two days ...then he used the lashing out to break up
DeleteClass narcissist move
Oshey 17:57! I smelt a narc too, but didn't mention it because the details are still too sketchy for me to conclude, but he likely is.
DeleteSis you haven't found a husband yet,pick up yourself and forge ahead,don'tlet your emotions turn you into a desperado."good man" indeed,lmaoo.
ReplyDeleteI always say this; do not give the cookie to your man till wedding night to avoid "had I known", "I gave you my body" and you won't really feel the heartbreak that much.
ReplyDeletePoster, according to what you wrote, your boyfriend never loved you. Your love for him is blind for you not to have noticed that he doesn't love you at all. And I think you're so desperate to be Mrs lagbaja.
You dodged a real bullet. That man is not good for you, he's playing with your feelings. Run!
Most women with extreme low self esteem when it comes to relationship is really annoying asf.
As in Extremely annoying. The guy said he no do again, she dey blast his phone like a maniac. Of course he’ll even run farther away. Best thing for poster is to just cut all communications from him Completely so she can heal. How come he can move on so quickly and you can’t? Ask yourself this question poster. Una dey in the relationship together but he moved on fast. Stop co depending on human being like you. Only rely and depend on God. Human being go disappoint you but God won’t. Praying for healing from this emotional pain/low self esteem.
DeleteTenny and anon on point! Poster read well.
Delete@ 16:34 Pls face your front. I'm not competing with him on when to move on. Leave me alone abeg.
DeletePoster aka 19:26, you never ready to move on. Wallow in your self pity then and decide when to move on. Na you bring chronicle come online blog. Na you sabi.
DeleteWhere are my comments???????
DeleteIs it that difficult to get a bf in Naija. Nawao
ReplyDeleteYou dey mind her… see desperation and lack of self respect. Mtscheww
DeleteTo get a very good one?
DeleteExtremely difficult.
Mediocre, below average, bottom barrel stuff? Them boku like flies.
Men are scum.
ReplyDeleteSo you want to kill yourself because of scum?
My dear grow up, ahn agn. Cant you see it plain as day that he DOES NOT WANT UOU.
ReplyDeleteSomebody who has been looking for excuse to get rid of you since ,he quickly saw one and capitalized on it.
All these smoh smoh boys..
Omolomo, go and find your self esteem from where you trashed it.
NEVER ever chase someone who doesn't want you.
Ever.
I wish God gave even 10 % of the iron heart wey I get to people.
Baga wey I for done block and delete forever from the moment he said that.
No time for iranu.
Her meal ticket is gone that’s why. Poster go and hustle and stop telling a man you’re hungry (aka I need money to buy food). What nonsense abeg.
DeletePls, l'm not jobless.
DeleteIt's not about being jobless, you get money? There are many people attending work every day, shishi no dey dia account. Borrowing money every day. My dia you have been served breakfast. Trust me, that issue to too small, he has probably been planning it months before. Na format since 19 kpirigom, na boys their way. There is a way a woman will be too good that they will now start complaining about the way she breathes or that she smiles too much. Anything to get rid if her. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Don't cheapen yourself to ever beg someone to accept.
DeleteIf you are a person of value, its their loss.
If you are a person of no value, its their gain.
Poster @17:14, since you have a job, go and put in your energy in your job and also register for a skill online or offline to keep you busy, improve yourself. Don't get depressed because of a man. Go out, look nice, mi gke with people, attend parties and post pics.
DeleteLastly, block that guy pls, if you keep viewing his status and stories on social media, you will get more unhappy.
The truth is that you have been dating yourself since all this while. Can you just ignore him and face front, don't be desperate he will definitely come back if truly you are meant for each other.
ReplyDeleteExactly, you have been dating yourself.
DeleteMumu boyfriend. He was looking for a way and you provided it voila it worked. Don't cry for a stupid man, he is not worth your tears .
ReplyDeleteYou can feel pain but with time you will feel better. Look for better things to keep you happy.
He is an mkpi
Poster, please move on. He just used this flimsy excuse to breakup with you. You deserve better than this.
ReplyDeleteIt might also be the other way around sha. He deserves better maybe? We don’t know BF’s story.
DeleteTake it easy on yourself and give him space. He may come around or he may not.
ReplyDeletePoster he’s obviously having cold feet maybe because of the marriage process you guys were going to kick off.
ReplyDeleteI’m sorry to say but you sound desperate and a bit immature for marriage. He should be even more excited about having to spend the rest of his life with you and not the other way round. Also You have to learn to take responsibility for your actions and manage your emotions properly instead of outrightly blaming them on menstrual pain.
You have apologized to him and that’s that. Respect him by Giving him the space he asked for. Focus on your life, work on your character and your goals. Grief as much as necessary but keep it moving and don’t reach out to him again. If he comes back good if not let him go. You deserve to be with a man that works out issues with you maturely and not one that so easily discards you over flimsy argument.
Warm hugs 🤗
💯 💯
DeleteSluttychic.
Poster she has echoed my thoughts..Brilliant submission
DeletePoster put yourself together and stop crying, what you wrote here is not a good reason for him to breakup with you. Stop apologising or calling him on phone,move on with your life.He doesn't love or want to marry you .
ReplyDeleteHow old are you please?. This man has been looking for an opportunity to drop you and he saw one and quickly used it. The way he saw you and liked you is the way a better man will see you and love you geniniuely. Keep calm and allow him for a while.
ReplyDeleteHe is tired of your behavior madam face front, his been bottling a lot of things him no do again.
ReplyDeleteOr he probably won’t. She should move on. She screams desperation!
ReplyDeleteTo single ladies out there,pls pray for a man who will love u more than u love him,so sometimes u can do shakara and make him hunger for u.marriage lasts longer when the man loves the woman more.
ReplyDeletePls poster,let this guy go, seriously he has no value for u and I don't see him getting married to u.he was just finding an excuse for a break up and finally got one.be strong and let him go, while praying for another who will love u more
Gbam 👏🏾 Almost like a liability to him self. What else does she bring to the table besides p*ssy? And she wan get married. It’s tough out there nowadays o hmm. Unless the man is really balling with cash then women should financially help a man who’s hardworking! It’s not easy out there!
ReplyDeletePele dear,try and get a grip on yourself.
ReplyDeletePoster, sorry for ur breakup, but you need to move on, He broke up with you without an explanation and you still say he's a good man, wake up pls, and stop apologizing, Put yourself together and you will meet a better man.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I'm confused about Nigerian women's definition of good men.
DeleteIf the bar is already very low, as in sunk 6ft under the ground, even the smallest effort is regarded as 'good'.
DeleteIf you ask them what makes your guy good, you will hear: ' He is kind, he is nice' Before nko??? Abi were you expecting a vulture?
19:01 😂😂 I just had to laugh, but you are right.
DeleteThat is not true...Someone told you I am sick and hungry does not sound to me like an urgent 2k girl...If he sends her money, is it a bad thing? The guy does not just care at all...
ReplyDelete"Pls what should l do now. l don't want to loose a good man" You need to grow up and move on. What's with some ladies and their life desire of men? Because a man broke up with you, you feel bad and almost depressed? Madam move on, build your life, develop yourself, make your money, make yourself happy and above all love yourself. If you do all these, men will run after you. Its only in Nigeria, women think having a man in their life is an achievement. Women from other part of the world are happy being single and at the same building a life career and you crying over a man who shouldn't even be in the same space with you?
ReplyDeletePoster pls take to this advice.
DeleteHow old are you? You sound like a teenager. Pls grow up and build your life, leave the man alone. He has been looking for an excuse to break up since. Stop begging him and build yourself. Better men that will make you slap yourself for crying and begging this one will come your way.
Its only in Nigeria, women think having a man in their life is an achievement. Women from other part of the world are happy being single and at the same building a life career and you crying over a man who shouldn't even be in the same space with you?
DeleteAbove is not true please. There are women all over the world that feel that way.
Na wah o for all these chewing gum boyfriends, you're still begging, anty that man isn't into you, move on with your life.
ReplyDeleteHow is he a chewing gum boy please???. You want him to end up with a desperate slay queen???. Abeg. Make everyone find their base abeg
Delete@ 17:29, Why are u calling her a desperate slay queen? please let's be careful with our words. Most of us maybe doing worst than the poster in their relationships.
DeleteI think I can relate here with your boyfriend. I am dating a lady who nags and fight over any little I say. She gets angry and starts talking anyhow. Insulting and cursing
ReplyDeleteAfter awhile I started getting irritated by her.
First I started dropping the calls when she starts
Then she moved to chats.. I stopped reading when she starts
Soni broke up with her.. she will try to apologize but not directly. She will apologize but blame me for her acting that way and when I refuse to accept her insult in the name of apology, she will threaten to kill herself.
Poster are you sure you are not like my babe, you have nagged him out of love
Omo!!! Threaten to kill herself? You better block that person from your life before they ruin you
DeleteI have never insulted him before and l will not kill myself, just that l am depressed about the whole thing. l feel so hurt, that he could break up with me .
DeleteMr Crazy I hope you were not gaslighting your babe and cheating, because for someone to go that far for nothing........ Smh........
DeletePoster, so the things you said out of annoyance were loving words ba
DeleteForget about that guy he is not good enough for you, dry ur tears the right man will come soon.
ReplyDeleteI'm not what you described up there @ Northern Guy. I have a job.
ReplyDeleteI'm here to learn one or two things. But why the guy dey ignore the poster as they were chatting?
ReplyDeleteHe was discarding her. A classic narc move.
DeleteMove on, girl.
ReplyDeleteThat guy never meant to marry you.
He was waiting to end the relationship and used that when it was convenient for him
Eyah.. From what you wrote up there, the guy has been looking for a way to break up with you. Let him go, a better one will come. I feel your pain though🤗
ReplyDeleteYou are chatting with someone, all of a sudden, no response from his or her end, for many hrs, hrs turned to days no response. Who wouldn't be annoyed with this behavior.
DeleteMy dear it’s seems like you were the only one planning marriage,he was not in sync with you cos what you explained up there 👆 is not enough to cause a break up.
ReplyDeleteHe has been nursing the thoughts and waiting for an excuse to break up, If truly you know sincerely in your heart you weren’t doing something to hurt him or deeply offend him after all these apologies I’ll suggest you let him be for now.He will come around soon,if he doesn’t maybe he has fallen out of love with you.
Or from the beginning he didn’t love u as much as you claim to love him.
Give him space sis,you won’t die!
I know people like this,he might eventually come back, unless if he has something up his sleeve but just know you're dealing with a difficult man, even in marriage any little offence you might end up not seeing him for days and be prepared to beg him for the offence he commit even.
ReplyDeleteWhether she moves on or not is not your business @ 16:20. Do you even know the meaning of desperation?
ReplyDeleteEveryone blaming the guy here. The lady looks like a naggar
ReplyDeleteHow is she a nag?
DeleteEven if she is a 'naggar' as you put it, there are more mature ways of handling the situation, esp for someone you are planning to marry. Obviously this guy was not interested in anything lasting. He did not even try, just ran at the slightest excuse because it was time for him to start the marriage proceedings which he didn't want.
DeleteSee the stingos showing themselves. Poster don't mind them. What do you you mean by what do you bring to the table except pussy? Do you think it is easy to bring pussy to the table? I don't blame you selfish lots. I wish women will borrow sense and keep it locked up so they won't be taken for granted. The man poster described likely just 'chopped and cleaned mouth'. You people know you have no intention of marriage yet will lead the lady on until you realize it is time to do the needful then you japa. And you think it is good behavior? Continue collecting curses na una sabi.
ReplyDeleteHe will be back; write it down that I said so!
ReplyDeleteBut she has to give him space first. And I will advise except she is prepared to deal with a difficult individual throughout her marriage (that is if he will be back and back for something serious not a fling) she should avoid him. Plenty fish in the sea.
DeleteThat guy was just pretending,he never meant to marry you...
ReplyDeleteJust move on with your life.
Go to his house and find out what he was ignoring for
ReplyDeleteGirls like you makes men acts as if they are gods,go pursue him make he marry you by force,no self esteem at all
ReplyDelete