Hmm....
SHOCKING TURN OF EVENTS
The plan was to stay there for two weeks. When i got to her house we were all good, gisting and catching up on old times, the last time i saw her and her kids was 3 years ago.
We had gists, gossips and conversations about every topic we could think of and about everyone in the family. The first 7 days was bliss 8 days into my stay with her, she started giving me attitude because i said i came to see her kids not her(i didn't know she was going to take it personal), we settled that one.
Day 10 she started giving me attitude again, i just decided to ignore her. She came around later that evening and started talking, wanting to make me feel like I have attitude problem. I told her point and clear that she started it and she is the one with the attitude problem. She got angry and asked when I'll be leaving, i told her in two days time. Only for her to say "Abeg do and leave my house, i don't like your wahalla/problem" then she walked out.
I called my mum and aunt( the immediate older sibling to my host/her closest sibling/paddy as well) to report what she said to me because i was hurt by what she said and while i was narrating what happened i started crying. I don't know if they called her to caution her but she barged into the room i was staying in about 2 hours after the issue to start shouting and calling me a pretender:
She said what she said to me was not hurtful enough to make me cry and that i am trying to make her siblings feel like she is a bad person, that they'll say i came to her house and she is maltreating me. I ignored her totally, when she was done she left the room.
I packed my bags and left her house the next day. Do you know my aunty called every member of our family the next day to tell them i am a gossip, that i said this and that about them, she twisted all the gists we had, added spice to them and heaped them on my head. I was surprised and amazed after hearing all she said. it was like a dream to me
This is someone that is 10 years older than me and has two kids oo (maturity and sense truly doesn't come with age) As it is now some members of the family believed what she said, so they called my mum to lay their complaints about what they heard. My mum said they have known me for 27 years, if they wanna believe My aunt over my character that they've known for years then it's on them.
My grandma is even saying i should apologize since she is older than me. I'll never apologize, I'll never speak to her again and i pray God judges her, i pray her image will be tarnished in an important place, church maybe or the estate where they live. This seed she sowed, she must reap it in triple folds.
*Thread with caution so that you dont break up a family of siblings.....Maybe you just should jus apologise and move on avid her but apologise....Your actions have put your mum in a very uncomfortable spot....
I know you are angry but choose the path of peace!
I stopped swapping people's stories with others even relatives because women will cast you when the chips are down.
ReplyDeletePoster you went to someone's house and you guys are "measuring attitude". You no try.
ReplyDeleteJust apologize and move on.
Anon thank you jare
DeleteHello everyone, i am the poster.
DeleteI informed her 8 days prior to the day i left my base for hers. She even asked me to come earlier than my supposed day of arrival but i refused so i won't exceed the 2 weeks i planned to stay in her house.
We both grew up together under the watch of my grandma and we were not taught to be liabilities when we visit relatives and friends. For those asking if i helped out with house chores, i did. Infact i helped out with chores I'd normally pay someone to do for me at my base and i ran alot of errands for her, took care of her kids( she has all boys and they are a handful).
For those asking if i went there with food stuffs or contributed to buying groceries. how on earth am i suppose to visit my aunt and then buy foodstuffs/groceries for the house? I wasn't taught to do that atall but i got her and her kids gifts worth 15k from my base.
I still stand by my decision, i won't apologize. If i do she'll still go round and say it's because i am guilty that's why I apologized. God knows i just wanted to spend sometime with family/loved ones that's why I travelled to her base. That trip is one trip i regret but we what? WE MOVEEEE.
Thanks for the advise Stella and B.Vs
At poster 22.18, when I read the first post I was thinking you might be a bit rude, proud and condescending. Now I have seen your reply, it’s been confirmed. So because, your aunty is older by just 10 years and she grew up as a sibling in your grandma’s means you have to be disrespectful and condescending to her? I bet most of what she said is true, you are just upset she spilled. Your aunty did wrong talking about you, but two wrongs have never made any right’. If you like listen to BVs that give advise they never take. There is nothing wrong in apologizing to her and asking her calming what went wrong, since you claim both of you are close. For a relative that warmly welcomed you to her house, something happened to make her change suddenly. If you are also true to yourself, you might also see areas you would have handled better. So get off your high horse quickly otherwise, you will always have issues with siblings, your husband(you are obviously not married, a wise married woman would know how not to let trivial matters escalate) or your colleagues( you are obviously not working in a top paying job; cuz no one in a corporate setting has time for such open/ confrontational behavior). Answer me, will you die or stop breathing if you apologize and seek peace?
DeleteApologising when u are not wrong is actually you enabling abuse in my own opinion.
ReplyDeletePoster, as long as this ur story is how it happened, Abeg ignore her. Don’t fuel anything. You have said ur own side of the story, it’s left for them to believe u or not.
Is there any bible passage that says one will go to hell if they don’t forgive? I’m yet to come across that scripture una dey use blackmail people emotionally into forgiving those that have hurt them
Hi Joy,
DeleteSee your answer below;
Jesus our Lord said that if you forgive, you shall be forgiven. He also made it clear that if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father in heaven forgive you your trespasses. And you can be sure that if your sins are not forgiven (for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God), your prayers cannot be answered and of course no heaven for the person (Mark 11:24-25).
Also, .. and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.. (The Lord's Prayer).
Forgiveness is absolutely necessary for the offender and the offended.
Cheers..
Thank you. If I no wrong you, be there and be waiting for apology.
DeleteThats what gives them strength to keep effing up.
Me I'm obidient o, I no dey give shishi apology.
Yet Jesus was slapped instead of turning the other cheek, he questioned the slap. In everything we must apply wisdom, it helps correct alot of madness
Delete
DeleteWendixx, after the death, burial and resurrection of Christ, there is none anymore. We are "forgiven already" and commanded to so likewise. No more condemnation.
It's just that, it's in our own best interest to forgive.
See Bible passages below.
Ephesians 4:32
[32]And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Colossians 3:13
[13]bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.
As an adult...... only where I can holiday is my parents place and my very closes siblings,even if I'm to visit any aunt, Uncle,my stay will only last 2days to avoid see finish.
ReplyDeleteMy darling apologize to her,make peace, so this issue don't deepen then afterward know boundaries to cross and one not to over cross.
Exactly what I thought, 2 weeks is quite a long time to stay with someone, except you guys are super close, as you can see, you are not as close as you thought cos your presence started irritating her.
DeleteI don't know if apologizing or not is for the best, you know your family better so do what is best but in future, avoid visiting people for weeks. I learnt a bitter lesson about accommodating people as a student, since then, I have wisely avoided putting myself in that position again.
Na wa for this kind Aunt, anyways just apologize and avoid her
ReplyDeletePoster, just as Stella advised, please apologize and let peace reign. Apologising to your aunt wouldn't take away anything from you, it will only show that you're more mature than she is.
ReplyDeleteResolution is what you two need
ReplyDeleteYou apologize only if you're wrong. Once you do, she will broadcast the apology as you being guilty and use it to continue slandering you. What your mum said is it. Let who knows you all this while but prefers to judge you on account of her lies go ahead. The dust must certainly settle down after the rain. Time will prove you right. If her siblings are wise, they should know in a place of gossip, she must have said stuff only that you did not want to go low.
ReplyDeleteAnother angu,in my case,I had to broadcast the fact that I want to apologize and why before she even got the apologyπ
DeletePls dear, apologize and move on. You should not have stayed one more day after the first seven days that she showed you attitude concerning what you said about coming to see the kids. You should have left after that incident but you stayed and returned attitude for attitude when she started again. It is her home and if she is not welcoming enough, you leave to your own house. I hope you learned from this. I personally won't visit any relative at this period and stay beyond a few days.
ReplyDeletePoster just apologize. Avoid harboring negative emotions.
ReplyDeleteThe gossip was gossiped!
ReplyDeleteIt was sweet ba when you were doing cho cho cho, running your mouth thinking you had found a fellow amebo? E sweet you that time na.
You don't know that when somebody brings gossip to you, they MUST take away your own gossip?
You dont know?
At 27, recieve sense in Jesus mighty name.
π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£ cho cho cho got me laughing
Deleteπππ
Deletecho cho cho na im dey sweet pass na, especially among siblings π
π€£π€£π€£
DeleteYou are really troublesome poster.
ReplyDeleteYou went to someone's house to disrespect her.
π― She was the first to report and now that the table has turned she's crying wolf
DeleteThere is no need for the malice from your side. She has offended you but you should forgive her and move on as a show of respect for an elder that she is. Don't show attitudes that will make her see you as if you are rubbing shoulder with her but don't apologize. Apologising will make her repeat same thing to another person. And she will feel that since she is older she can abuse any body and go away with it. Remember, she is way older than you and it's her house you visited, you should have given her her respect how ever she wanted the respect from you so long as the respect does not require you to do evil. Maybe you talked to her rudely when you went to express your displeasure over her actions that's why she reacted the way she did.There are better ways you could have expressed yourself without sounding rude.From your write up I sense that you were rude. Two masters can't stay in a boat.Your are at fault and your aunt is guilty as well.
DeleteThere is no need for the malice from your side. She has offended you but you should forgive her and move on as a show of respect for an elder that she is. Don't show attitudes that will make her see you as if you are rubbing shoulder with her but don't apologize. Apologising will make her repeat same thing to another person. And she will feel that since she is older she can abuse any body and go away with it. Remember, she is way older than you and it's her house you visited, you should have given her her respect how ever she wanted the respect from you so long as the respect does not require you to do evil. Maybe you talked to her rudely when you went to express your displeasure over her actions that's why she reacted the way she did.There are better ways you could have expressed yourself without sounding rude.From your write up I sense that you were rude. Two masters can't stay in a boat.Your are at fault and your aunt is guilty as well.
DeleteExactly, the poster na wahala pikin! Better don't cause wahala among siblings, you'll end up being the bad person cos dem go use you settle! Yeye dey smell. See her with childish attitude.
DeleteLet peace reign
ReplyDeleteLike seriously this poster no get respect.
ReplyDeleteEven if she's only 10yrs older than you why are you treating her like your mate?
Anyway you both are too petty, chai I can't imagine an aunt lieing just to tarnish her nieces image.
E dey una body.
Me when I visit my aunt's house I act like I don't know anything, anything she says or does is yes ma I answer, as long as she is not beating me.
I mind the kind of gist i gist with my aunts.
Better apologise and move on, since you are highly opinionated there is no need visiting and staying over at any aunts or uncles house.
Mind your life joor, you can call to say hello and let it end there, even if you visit return to your house or hotel room that same day.
Please apologize and move on
ReplyDeleteAbeg didn't you know she was petty before? Normal ,close cousins talk about each other but you have to know who you are making the gist with and what you are gisting about. You mom must have been embarassed.
ReplyDeleteMy dear poster,please apologise to your aunt to avoid issues between her and your mum and also for future sake.
ReplyDeletePlease apologise let peace reign
ReplyDeleteYou probably over stayed your welcome!!
ReplyDeleteDid you assist her in doing chores? Did you drop money for foodstuff or just buy stuff needed around the house?
If you didn't do all these and she couldn't btell you straight up but used malice as yardstick to ask you to live, then there in lies the problem.
That's why I hate going to people's house.
Please forgive her and move on
Poster,were you helping with the chores?..
DeleteMe I can't do chores in someone's house biko
Ha!..
Well,i can assist if you dont have a house help sha or if it's in the abroad...
Apologies and move on
DeleteI'm sure she didn't assist which was why she said she didn't come for the kids π€£π€£π€£π€£
Delete16:23 she said she came for the kids
DeleteDear Poster, she is your Aunt. Apologize to her if she says you wronged her then apologize. Remember you were in her house and in her turf. So pls apologize. Many times when we apologize it's not because we are wrong. It's because peace comes with a price. And you would rather go with peace than ego. Besides apologizing doesn't reduce you. It makes you the bigger person. Remember you said you had not seen her in 3yrs. You have no idea what has gone down within these years regardless of if you talk often. It's not the same. Let peace reign in your family. And pls keep Mum about what you said or didn't say. Truth always comes out. People will always gave an opinion about you. It's their opinion and they have a right to it. Pls make peace and move on. Time will tell.
ReplyDeleteApologize for which peace to reign?after lying against her?..
DeleteThat aunt is an agbaya!..
If she apologize,it means she said those things she was accused of..
Poster,your relatives will start seeing you as gossip..
Dont apologize anything
I agree with you Lady T
DeletePlease apologize to and allow peace to reign.
ReplyDeleteJust apologize and move on.Apologize not because you are wrong and she is right but because you value her relationship with your mom more than your ego.
ReplyDeleteI have been in a situation like this few years ago,I had to apologize and cut everyone involved off
Exactly...Just embrace peace and then don't visit her again...
Deleteshe is highly manipulative..poster dont apologize anything..
ReplyDeleteYou over stayed your welcome,reason for the attitude..
I can never stay in someone's house well except my siblings for 5 days..
I would rather stay in a hotel to avoid see finish!..
Even the 5 days am gonna stay,I will make sure I stock up their house with food stuff..I do that always..
Before someone will say she/he fed me!
I hate insult biko!...
Poster,when next you are going to someone's house,make sure you buy food stuff!..
Watch how the person will pamper and treat you like a VIP!!..
They will even beg you not to go!π€£π€£π€£π€£
Queen too get sense even when I travel abroad I don’t stay in anybody’s house to avoid this rubbish.
DeleteI bet she just sat there and waited to be served, while she served her aunt the latest gossips about her other relations. Next time, while visiting buy some foodstuff and make yourself useful around the house. Don't just eat and gossip.
DeleteWhen I no get money to even lodge my children sef in a hotel with me, I no dey go anywhere, sometimes I go with nannies sef all of us in a hotel .
DeleteWe will be visiting anyone we want to, stay till late in evening, get taxi to take us back,or our car.
Only eat lunch, come with our chop chop even share with una sef, the only help I fit get from someone I visited,is a drive to the airport and not a must, the airport taxi that dropped at a hotel can equally pick me, even sometimes I change hotels. Experience don teach me alot and I am willing to learn now from others own.
See finish dey everywhere even in marriage
The poster is a guest and not her Aunt's breadwinner,I would never expect a guest to buy me foodstuffs that I would use and entertain his/her stay,that's selfishness and insensitivity in the highest order..Guests are supposed to be treated well and without any expectations .
DeleteIf they decide to help fine,if they don't,still fine...They're only staying for a period of time and should be treated as one...I treat my guests like god and that's the same way they treat me when I visit.This entitlement mentality is getting out of hand..jeez!
As in, I HATE visiting! I don't mind cosy or outdoor hangouts but that visiting people's homes to sleep over sabi hard me ehn. I prefer to kuku lodge for hotel jeje. Na so I go carry 4 boxes like say I wan relocate to their house because I will carry everything I need for 2 weeks for a 2-day visit and leave all the extras there. The only thing I don't carry along na bathing water. Both the visitor, visiter and visitee go taya laslas. Dey your dey no be abuse; na sound advice so you can avoid see-finish for this life.
DeleteLol.. @Kry..
DeleteYou better read and learn
Kry you’re right
DeleteNo one rings anything to my house to visit. You don’t even need to bring toothbrush as I have that too. Only thing I won’t do is be at your beck and call
Krytiq, I honestly didn’t get their take. I’m coming to holiday in ur house and I am expected to contribute??? I won’t ask that of anyone. Why should u ask that of me? It’s a totally different case if I’m coming to live with u for reasons beyond my control. If that’s how people think, na to just siddon my house jeje
DeleteMy friend , please apologise and move on , you are there using cursed words on your elder sister. You are not God and she won't be disgraced in anyway. Una think say you dey wise, you went to her house and you were measuring attitude lol this gal you funny o.
ReplyDeleteApologise and move on.
ReplyDeleteYou over stayed your welcome poster. Most women can't accommodate people more than 1 week. Know this and know peace.
ReplyDeleteWow Poster There would have been a better way to handle this between you and your Aunty but the deed has been done...Please just apologize to her; and when someone gives you an attitude always play the bigger person and not go to the person's level...In as much she is your Aunty, you are also a visitor in her house...Your anger is valid don't get me wrong but this could have been better managed without resulting in this level....
ReplyDeletePlease apologize and just follow your Aunty with peace and respect...Don't visit any relatives again better still you can find a nice holiday resort to enjoy the rest of your vacation..Refrain from insulting her and no more gossips...One thing I will ask you to pray for is a discerning spirit...There are some people you weigh very well before you open your mouth to talk about anyone or anything.......Just let it go; don't argue again just be drinking water and be easygoing...All the best okay
Please this your Aunt is envious of you. Apologize to her. But after RUN for your life. Only a demonic person will start calling people to tell them things you but gisted about.
ReplyDeleteAHH!π―
DeleteEnvious of her.. how?
Omo, I have seen it all on this blog
which yeye envious?on top of her great achievement right?I will listen to the Aunt first, before blaming her.
Deleteyou come meet person for her house , you dey yarn envious of her for what and in which aspect , ta commot there. Anonymous talk another thing abeg!
DeleteJust like Stella said,pls poster give peace a chance and move on.thats doesn't make u a fool, instead it's makes u more wiser
ReplyDeleteI no kuku dey go anybody house. Poster you are an adult and you are working. Pls, next time take a fun vacation. Go see another place and have fun. You don't have to go to anybody's house.
ReplyDeleteAnd please, don't apologise but instead start praying against any evil she may want to do to you. Na small thing dey make them go coven go swear for person o.
Apologize to her but RUN for your life. For a person to tell others things you both gisted about, Speaks volume about who she is. Now more people will be against you physically and spiritually.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteIt's painful. I can even feel your hurt and anger in your writeup.
BUT, just take a deep breath, be the bigger person and type an apology. If not for anything, but for your mum's sake and the sake of your own peace of mind. Both of you gossiped. It's just sad that she betrayed the gossip that was shared in love. I gossip a lot with my sisters and I can just imagine what could happen if our topics leak out.
However, The damage has already been done. So this is time for damage control and cleanup. You were her guest and you are not also without fault in the episode. Both of you were wrong and I'm sure if she brings her own story, you will seem guilty as well. Just let it go dear.
Someone once accused me of whatever and painted me black. I was asked to apologise, like you I vehemently refused because in this case she was my guest and was in my house for close to 4 months and I was certain I had done her no wrong. I later thought about it and decided to apologise because we are all humans and are prone to error.
She didn't respond and hasn't acknowledged my apology till date ( more than 3 years and counting), BUT I am very happy and at peace with myself and God because I know I had done the RIGHT thing.
Cheers dear.
Madam you are as immature as your aunty. Woman face your actual life, get a business, support a movement.... Na see finish dey cause this kind of thing. You should have left once she started giving you attitude that is a clear sign your stay is no longer welcomed. Give them space. 80% of most women transfer aggression to kids or ladies their husbands suddenly starts admiring.
ReplyDeleteYou're cursing your sister like that? Ahh!! You're the wicked one!
ReplyDeleteNo mind her, na she go face disgrace not her aunt. You have come to tell your own side, if we hear your aunt's own now na different tori e go be.
DeleteNo she’s not wicked
DeleteDo you guys understand the weight of what her aunt did
Poster please apologize to her not because your are wrong but peace. For your ur mum and her siblings the be at peace with each other.
ReplyDeleteRemember she is older than you and you visited her abode. Apologize and move on, do not visit and spend over two days. Na see finish worry her
Lol that’s not good peace
DeletePlease just apologize, forgive and forgot. Just pray for God to vindicate you some day.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, your aunty started feeling irritated at your presence. Were you acting like a visitor? Did you help her with stuffs in the house? Did you contribute financially? Was your presence really felt in her house? Next time you're going to someone's house, no matter how close you are, try not to be like a burden to the person, let your positive presence be felt. If your mind tells you to apologise please do
ReplyDeleteI blame you.
ReplyDeleteYou overstayed your welcome.
As you go person house, person begin carry face for you, why you still stay under their roof, eating their food and carrying face for her back? You no get your own house? Must you visit? Wetin do your papa house?
Then you had to now call your other aunt and mom and start reporting private ish.. you are very dramatic. You started with the reporting, she only followed your lead and was quick to act fast before you paint her bad again..
You better go and beg her and stop doing strong head. I hate that part you called other people reporting her and crying, you painted her evil at that point. I'll be very mad at you if I was the one too, I go even bounce you sef, make I kuku do you the bad wey you dey cry for..
This is the truth your fake friends won't tell you
For once, I support Dante. Poster, you were so immature. I dey vex for you while reading your chronicle.
DeleteDon’t you know that, any public embarrassment a family member experiences affects the entire family’s reputation/image? So be prepared to share in her shame.
Such an insolent girl.
I bet other people didn't see this your point, she had no right reporting her Aunt to other family members,and seeing how she's cussing her out here,shows the kind of person she is.
DeleteApt!
Delete@Dante,
DeleteThe truth is bitter. But you have said it here.
The only issue is who should Poster apologize to because more people are now offended. The apology must be to the whole family. If there's a family WhatsApp platform, that would be a good avenue for the apology.
Poster, apologize to your Aunt. She would broadcast it for you. If she doesn't, let the matter rest after that.
17.36
DeleteHer amebo na follow come, she can't help it. Small private ISH, she don rush begin go gossip her aunty to her mom and other aunty, forming reporting and crying..
That victim shii was taken too far mahn
I also got irritated when she picked her phone to report her aunt, I dislike such people. What you both could have easily settled, you escalated it, now she served you your own medicine, you are cursing. Very dramatic individual
DeleteCon even add crocodile tears on top, smart aunty add ingredients for her own. Why do people wail when served their medicine. God bless you Dante
DeleteLol she had every right to report
DeleteThat is the koko of the matter. You were in her turf. Once you are in someone’s house and they start giving attitude who are you to return the same energy? Either leave or humble yourself. I had to stay with an in-law for almost two years, the nonsense wey I experience ehn, in fact I was almost a maid in the house. I just did what I had to and once I could I left the house. We still have a good relationship and I visit once in a while but I never spent the night in that house since I left and once I am there the minute I notice any funny attitude about to start I quietly go back to my house. Someone gave you attitude and you returned the energy? In her own house? I laugh at your foolishness, to think you are even 27 not 17 fΓ£.
Delete20:43 I won’t be quiet even if it’s your house unless I don’t have a place to go
DeleteWhy carrying unnecessary baggages? Apologize n go your own way haba !!! Unnecessary drama can be draining pls !
ReplyDeleteAbeg face front and keep your apology for someone that truly deserves it.I know for a fact that some older people love to oppress the younger ones because of their insecurities...Poster,you did nothing wrong.
ReplyDeleteInsecurities Kwaππ
DeleteHave you fed someone for a week before?
Dante,they both agreed for her to stay for that long,it wasn't impromptu,proper provision should have been made by her Aunt instead of beefing the poor girl.
DeleteI'd have preferred she told the poster not to come atall due to unforseen circumstances rather than the embarrassment.
Dante I have fed someone for months. Never insulted them and never asked for anything from them
DeleteKry
DeleteFirst, there was no prior agreement, you see were her aunt asked her when she'll be leaving bah? It was also impromptu as you can see were as said she made up herind to visit her aunt instead of going to her parents bla bla bla so no proper provision was made, not withstanding, she wasn't supposed to go there disrespecting the woman in her home.
If her auntbhaf given her excuse not to visit, she for still go gossip am, how are we even sure she asked for permission before visiting, she didn't state anywhere that she called her aunt first.
And see when, I saw your comment above, if you want to avoid see finish, don't have that mentality that you're going to visit someone and you'll spend more than a week and you want them to treat you like a visitor without you being useful or supporting in anyway, it's entitlement, no one came to this life to slave for you especially when they did they invite you over but you invited yourself, that's why I asked of you have fed anyone for a week before, if you had, you won't say that statement.
Bless✌️
19.17
DeleteI wasn't talking to you, keep your unsolicited information to yourself ✌️
For once in my life i agree with dante. If you go to someones home for more than a few days you are no longer a guest, especially when they have kids. You cannot be on "holiday" in someones home . That shit is really irritating after a while. Except it is a mansion that you will not be in their space andthey have staff
DeleteNigerians are enablers on nonsense! Kai!
ReplyDeleteYou visited your aunt. No problem. You two gossiped about other members of your family. No problem; it happens in many families too especially if you consider the person an "amebo comrade". You said you came to visit her kids not her? Problem started. Why? What prompted that statement? Did she ask you to help out with some chore before you made that statement? Does she have a maid? Did you inform her before visiting?
ReplyDeleteThe reason I asked those questions is because if you visited a single mother or married woman with kids for two weeks and are not providing physical or financial support, yet expect to eat, wake up to a clean apartment etc.then you were a liability. You are working so you could afford to do a little grocery shopping for them especially after the first 2/3 days. If they do not have a maid, you were twice the liability and you were wrong. Gossip alone does not take the place of doing chores and paying bills home or abroad. Then she pointedly asked you to leave and you started giving her attitude instead of "flying away" osiso? Really? Well, you goofed there and got served! Let's move to the next issue.
Your aunt called other members of the family you both gossiped about and spread only your side like a virus? E go hard for her to make heaven o. If you were my sister or daughter (Lord, please bless me with oneπ), I'd instruct you to do a full voice note about the gossip part revealing exactly what you said (no matter how nasty/ugly) and her own contributions to the gist; apologise profusely to each and everyone of them involved and ask them for forgiveness. You will include an apology to your "darling auntie" explaining how sorry you were for visiting her house out of all the relatives, thinking you could safely gossip with her as usual and for everything else she felt you did wrong at her house. Promise her it won't happen again and make sure it doesn't. Then post the VN on the family WhatsApp group or send to everyone individually. Just make sure everyone gets a copy and do not embellish the gists or tell a single lie to exonerate yourself. Say only the things you can swear on if ever called on to do so.
Deactivate your social media handles for 2weeks, use a different sim or uncheck your "read receipt" on WhatsApp. Don't HATE or curse your auntie but AVOID HER for the rest of your long lives. Whenever, you see her at family gatherings, greet her and end it there. If she stops answering your greetings, lock up! Never visit or call her again. That relationship ended forever the minute she divulged what you both gossiped about to other family members to ridicule you. She is a real life serpent but now you have learned that you must only ever gossip with sense because there is no honour among real-life gossips. Catching cruise with people's gists on a blog is not the same as real-life.
Anon 16:53, God forbid anyone having you as a friend, someone who is economical with the truth. How you totally left out the part where she, poster first called other family members to report baffles me. Both of them are totally wrong in all of this, the older should have displayed maturity. While the poster is immature and petty.
DeleteI stayed with my uncle for a few years, never did I pick my phone to report any wrong done to me. Atuleka Ni poster yiii
DeleteVery well said @Amebonawork.
DeleteYour aunt effed up real bad no doubt. But Poster, you had no right reporting your aunt to your mum and even crying on top. You made it look as tho she was maltreating you in her house and that was unfair to her. you both gave each other gbas gbos why did you end up calling to report her again? Why didn't you just pack your things and move out respectfully? Yes you should apologize
Nobody on Vacay in my house has to contribute a dime
DeleteIf you don’t want a guest, don’t accept one
If you want help with food stuff, say that before you accept the guest
Why did she say she came for the kids? Why not? People say that all the time and parents smile. What’s there to be mad about
Thank you Amebonawork. You have said it all. I just want to add a bit to this: people need to realize that except you are visiting your parents you need to make your presence felt especially if your visit has exceeded two to three days. Africans/Nigerians expect you to have sense and either contribute financially or by helping with chores, when you don’t do the needful then you begin to see ‘attitude’ from your host(ess). That is why I like oyinbo people, they ask how long you are staying and let you know expectations. Either you contribute to the bills/grocery shopping or chores so you know where you stand and if you no like am you go your way.
DeleteYoung lady you are disrespect, you are not a rational being. Have you taken the pains to think of what you are doing to your mother? From your narration you did gossip about members of your family, exactly how did your aunt lie against you? Next time learn to avoid gossiping about your friends and families.
ReplyDeleteThe mother is not going thru any pains
DeleteWhat type of mother do you guys have
My mother would agree with me on this one and do what this mother has done
I have an aunt who is older with 10 years too,in fact we practically grew up together,as I lived with my grandma, we gossip till tomorrow about anybody,the funniest part is people don't even put mouth in our issue when we fight, cos na you go collect last last. I guess you have a good relationship with her for you to go on holiday in her house,but the problem is you overstayed ,and maybe you were not helpful around the house,I think you both should have mind to mind talk,
ReplyDeleteShe didn’t overstay
DeletePeople stay with me for months
If I don’t want you in my house I won’t agree to the plan
Aunt agreed and started acting funny
That’s on her
Yoruba have this proverb that said. Ki a dobale ki arara, ko pe kΓ a dide ki a ma ga jΓΉ arara lα». Just apologize and move on.
ReplyDeleteYou went to her house and overstayed her welcome. She became irritated after you have gisted about everyone. Her husband might have been against your continual stay.
ReplyDeleteRemember, the economy is not smiling now. Maybe, you didn't go with food stuffs nor contributed with feeding.. See, her reaction was because of another issue and she transferred the anger to you..
Avoid her for now.. Apologize later with your mum around or record the conversation. Or send a Text as evidence.. She was immature with her act, I guess she has temperament.
Sorry for your experience.
Poster just apologize and move on,so that you will not be the reason siblings are fighting,for peace sake apologize .......... Josaria
ReplyDeleteGod forbid I apologise for this
ReplyDeleteIf she left it at the fight between us, that’s different
But to call people and lie, I can’t forgive it
Why didnt you keep the issue between you and her between yourselves. Why call your mum and aunt. Did you help out with chores on the house or just sit and wait to be served forming vacation?. Unless th house is a mansion with plenty staff, it is not easy having someone in your space abeg.
DeleteFemi I’m not the poster oh
DeleteApologize to her/them. Good evening
ReplyDeleteThis person is your mum's sister. She was showing you attitude and you too was showing her attitude in her own house π π π π . Na you pick call call people to report your own aunt while still in her houseπ. See your last sentence. Cursing her and wishing evil on her. It's alright. Where I came from, elder no dey do wrong. Apologize ooo. Because when them go settle as siblings, you will not be there. Las Las na your mama them go blame
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly why some of these adult have this nonsense entitlement. What sort of ridiculousness is this?? Elders no dey do wrong??? Says who??? That’s not fair at all because in a way it silence the other persons hurt feelings. I hate somethings about our culture honestly.
DeleteIt's better to apologise, and free your mind π
ReplyDeleteIs like you seff you don too stay for this pepper body aunty house. Just apologize and move on.
ReplyDeleteOne cannot be walking on eggshells around loved ones. Don't know how people take offence over non-issues. Are children not an extension of parents? Should parents not be excited that relatives love their children? Reminds me of a time I visited a relative and as soon as I saw the children, I said " these are the people I came to see". It is a form of endearment. Hope the parents did not take it to heart. If they did, that is their cup of kunu.
ReplyDeletewish we fit hear from your aunt's side cause if two people dey fight, each party always claim say na them dey right.
ReplyDeletePoster, you sef no try
ReplyDeleteThe moment, your aunt talked about attitude, no need to argue, you should have just said that "you are sorry if she perceived that odd attitude" then you pack your things, go to a hotel...if you want to be subtle, you say you are off to hang out with friends, carry your bag and zoom to a hotel...she will be the one calling family members to say she did not chase you.
You reporting was childish, someone said you had an attitude so?
Where you reporting so she get flogged? Not only did you report to your mother ( which I can understand) you also reported to another sister of hers? What was the motive? So they black list her? Now table has turn you are crying.
As regards apology, apologize as a bigger person, and make a mental note to avoid that aunt and be civil whenever around her...no Cho Cho cho...hi Good morning does it...her kids just be civil...no buying gifts or food items before they say you want to poison them...dey your lane ..and no more gossiping too
I try my best to endure my host when I go visiting. I don't stay for too long and I contribute as much as much as I can when I'm around them. You were wrong to report her. You should have left her house first and then jokingly tell maybe your mum about it but as gist. Also, you try not to notice her attitude no matter hard it hurts you, play the fool till you leave and then never go back again. My dear, apologize if you can, mend fences and be happy. With time, the truth will prevail
ReplyDelete