You read the title and wondering why I am this is a topic because your parents are the best? Well some people have horrible parents... In fact let me rephrase it as 'Parents from hell fire'
Some parents have been nothing but Blessings to their children....
Some people are carrying around physical, emotional and mental scars from what they went through with their parent(s)
I saw the photo of a beautiful lady in Warri who had both her hands cut off by her mum. I am still so shocked cos i saw the photos some hours ago.. what would make a woman do that to a child she carried? Horrible!
What category do your parents fall in? Awesome or horrible parents?
Let's gist!
My parents are awesome.
ReplyDeleteThey taught us(my siblings and i) how to be satisfied with what we have.
My Dad is a blessing to us. He has always been there for us all. We lived like we were rich, whereas my Dad is a salary earner. He would rather satisfy our needs first instead of buying personal effects for himself.
We paid our school fees as at when due, we had pocket money from him monthly.
My mum too would always buy our provisions.
They would both visit during visiting days. One would only come if one was unavoidably absent. They taught us love. My dad never spoke ill of anyone. He would make excuses for ill-mannered fam member.
My mum is a bit strict, she wouldn't take nonsense, but she never abused us. She shielded us with love. My dad on the other hand, not too strict but very firm. His instruction was just enough, we would abide by it.
My dad would drive me to Uni every resumption. They created time for our important activities. We were trained with so much love. My dad is from a polygamous home, where his mum even died at a tender age, yet he has so much love to give. Chai what a great man. They treated all our guests with love and respect. In fact i cant tell it all. I am thankful for my parents. I pray for good health and long life for my parents to enjoy the fruits of their labour in Jesus name.
I pray for healing for anyone carrying one scar or the other from childhood.
It is well.
Awesome mum. Dad is in-between awesome and horrible
ReplyDeleteMy father was so strict and always angry and comparing us to other kids. I had low self-esteem for a very long time. He made me feel unloved and worthless.
ReplyDeleteHe tried in providing tho. And teaching us how to write properly.
May the soul of my awesome parents rest in peace.even in death I'm still proud of them,they were both selfless,caring and understanding.
ReplyDeleteI think I am a sweet loving single parent who tries to be there for her kids. I go any length to provide the best for my kids, protect them and be their for them always. The only problem I have is that I beat my daughter a lot not because of anything but because I want to correct her. I cry and feel bad whenever I beat my daughter and I have prayed to God to help me not to be beating her to much. As for my son I find it difficult to beat him. I don't know why I beat my daughter more than my son. In real sense I love my daughter more she is the best thing to happen to me. I enjoy her company, she tells me a lot even when I don't understand what she is saying and she is very smart but this beating thing I am so tired. She is beginning to sense that I beat her a lot cos she normally tell me not to beat her (sob) Please can some educate me on how I can train my daughter without beating. (I know I am acting base on how I was raise but I don't want such life for my kids) God help me it is now giving me sleepless night. I want my kids to know me as a loving, providing and confidant mum and not as a beat beat mum. My daughter is 5 and my son is 3. I have tears in my eyes typing this.
ReplyDeleteYou are very male-identified and have the cultural ill-exposed automatic high regard for the male gender. You are unconsciously giving your daughter the harder hand because, she needs to be well trained to be a good wife in future. You don't know it yet, but all your actions point to it.
DeleteMany of our parents especially mother's who were and are still very active gatekeepers of patriarchy made a lot of mistakes:
1. Making husbands and male figures idols
2. Projecting their achievements as parents on societal acceptable behaviour of kids. (Order is good but society is made of flawed individuals so sift the knowledge you imbibe)
3. Depriving their girl child of full childhood, can't blame them much here as perverts are everywhere, but the overt responsibilities placed on them while boys run wild is insane
4. Probably the worst of all, womanifying little girl child . She is seen as the evidence of good parenting and that spectrum is too broad to even go into right now.
Your girl child is a child, not a little woman who will get bigger. Seeing her otherwise places you in the vision of perverts as well. Look at her with love and be deliberate about your actions towards her. She is in a society that will set traps and disrespect her immensely just for being a woman, starting from the men in her life. You are her succor, you are the only one who should/could understand the phases her life will take.
The good thing is you identify you have a problem, you can either meet a therapist or consciously unlearn the toxicity you were raised with and hold dear .
Breathing exercises or counting numbers is a great step when you are provoked. She is 5, even adults will piss you off, do you go slapping or beating them.
Slow down and be kind to your daughter. Reaffirm her with words. Draw her close when you are less busy, play dress up, ask about her concerns, get into girly activities with her and teach her age appropriate protective measures and lessons. You need to create overwhelming positive memories for her against the negative. Don't sensitize her to beatings and I'll treatment, she will have no threshold for it and zero boundaries if you keep at it.
Join healthy mom forums on social media, read books on quality parenting and be deliberate about accomplishing them. Most importantly, pray about it. Tell God to step in and moderate your temper towards the gift he gave you. Cheers!
Empress Cho has said it all .
DeleteYou’re a patriarchy princess , patriarchy has you in chock-hold and that’s how you will end up raising a spoil entitled brat of a boy/man to unleash his stupidity on society while his sister was treated like your rival .
Why are you beating a 5yr old child like a thief ? She’s just 5yrs ! You can correct without excessive use of beating . Please pray to God about it and tell him that you don’t want your daughter to grow up to hate you or have self esteem issues and all those terrible experiences girls have , that your daughter deserves better : a healthy relationship and upbringing.
Please.
Lady MorgiannE
I had tears in my eyes while reading this,
DeleteI am sorry you're passing through this phase.I think you want your little girl to act like a woman,you expect so much from her.please let her be,she is still a child,don't let out your frustrations on her.
All will be well with you again,love and protect them,so that when she is been abused,she can have someone to talk to.please try and be her best friend.please forgive whatever her father might have done you.
Children will always be children, whenever she does something naughty and annoying don't beat her with annoyance.
Pray to God,I am very sure he is ready to help.
Don't look down on yourself sis and I pray those kids turn out well.hugs
I empathize with you and recognize this pattern personally. Let me tell you that if you break this girl's spirit, she'll look for a man that will keep her in the same sorry state and that will be a deep regret for you later in life: One common symptom of this is teenage pregnancy.
DeleteIf she manages to pull through in spite of your victimizing her, she'll end up a self -parented adult and that would may head after many decades but believe me, you will struggle to bond with her as she'll realize she is better off without you. It wouldn't be a mother-daughter relationship but one of two adults you won't be mother or friend but a person who must prove herself useful. You'll hate it.
If you really must must, discipline them equally it you'll run the relationship between her and her siblings and this is where all sorts of jealousy and animosity begins. Dean with this pattern from your childhood before you turn into your mum.
Some years ago, I was surprised that an aunt was crying because her mother died. My verbal expression of that shock further shocked the entire room especially my mom who was there. At that time, she had started to ease off the beating and putting down had gone on for decades but I had gone through too much to be open to that change. I had taken the pain to achieve more than I would want to give her credit for. I'm learning forgiveness now but I have also learned the importance of protecting myself so no, I'm not down for a close relationship as at yet even though she is eager for it and has apologized for many of those harrowing moments of torture. I an truly surprised at how other people are warm towards their mothers and actually opt to hang out or wear the same clothes with them. Even when she shows what I think is genuine concern, my mind is automatically suspicious and guarded. I don't go out of my way to include her in my life. I would go months without calling or reaching out not out of anger or malice but because there was really nothing I wanted to say and I didn't miss her. The thought of connecting visa call actually caused me anxiety and I see the save pattern in a number of my cousins. You don't get mothered by my grandmother and have any true legacy of love to give your daughter.
I have rebuilt the relationship with my brothers: it was easier with them since they apologized without being asked and acknowledged their role in the entire mess. You may not even know you are splitting up your family by passing on such a generational curses of favoritism.
I feel for your daughter. I hope like me, she has positive male and female figures in her life who help her along the way. I hope for your sake, she grows a thicker skin and braver heart like me instead of a broken spirit.
When children grow up, leave the nest and don't turn back, the same people who made the house a cold and desperate place for them wonder what went wrong. An uncle was reminiscing about how his wicked aunty who was very wealthy and connected refused to help him and went out of her way to truncate his progress. Analyzing the story backwards, I saw that the case of the two siblings was a childhood rivalry that persevered: the sister was an ordinary girlchild that was berated broken by the mother who worshipped her male children. Well, the girl married into wealth and prestige and decided to keep all that away from the golden sons and their partial mother. She threw the mother a big burial after a life of suffering though.
How can you beating a 5yr old this way?
DeletePlease i beg you stop beating that girl. Fear God. Love her and correct her with love. Don't turn that little angel into a tyrant. Control yourself please.
Make misogiby as Express CHO stated could be one of the reasons where mens behaviour is given more excuses than Women’s as per society. HOWEVER what came to my mind and I hope I can express this as nice as possible is INGRATITUDE of humans especially us Africans. I assumed that somewhere deep inside you you know that your son will eventually rebel if you beat him but your daughter out of being kind hearted May understand and overlook so you do it over and over again. What I mean by way of example is take for example in African relationships or marriages where a partner treats everybody else better than their partner because “he / she will understand” out of the love they have for them- when ideally it’s supposed to be the other way round. Some parents even go to the extend of giving outsiders money but telling their children they don’t have, to appear good! Some will pay for a funeral expense not their child’s bday party. I recently read of a case of twins one bad and one good, one got into an Ivy League school and around the same time the other got arrested and needed bail money and guess what , what could have been the formers school fee was used as the latter’s bail end of story! He cried but ex’s tusk has a good child understood didn’t even act out
DeleteBut you know the result of all I wrote up there 👆🏾.. sooner or rather than later THE ABUSE WILL BRING RESULTS psychologically personally etc. some children end up trying to people please to get love, others end up insecure, others could even act out at a very late stage the typical “let me kukuma be bad since nobody appreciates my good or since it’s better rewarded”, the person may even transfer this behaviour in later interpersonal relationships or just have to spend money healing- please be fair in your treatment of your children. If you can’t control it write down guidelines of what is considered wrong behaviour plus it’s punishment and apply it for the whole household if you forget just refer to your notes or do nothing until you’re sure - good luck GOD BLESS
Thank you all for the advice.
DeleteI don't just beat my daughter just for beating sake or cos I hate her. No I love my daughter, she is the best thing to ever happen to me and am super grateful to God to be her mother and she is my child.
Just like what Mariam said I expect so much from her forgetting she is a child. I decided to pour out my mind rather than pretending. God forbid I favour any of my child more than the other I discipline my son too but I think that second born and last child symdrome is disturbing me lol. She is heir to all that I have and she comes first no matter what. I will keep praying to God to help me raise her to be a better version of me. Thanks all. I am not a bad mum please yall.and I am not transferring their father aggression on her. They are in touch with thier dad always.
Don’t raise her to be a better version of you. She isn’t you. That’s the mistake African moms always make.
DeleteRaise BOTH your kids to be well balanced individuals. Forget that last born stuff you’re talking abou and just read all the advice and apply the second part of anon 21:19 advice. Don’t be defensive. Be open to correction and apply it. I
Anon 19:51
DeleteI return all you said back to you in 100 folds. Someone admitted she has an issue and seek for help and all could say is rubbish to a child been born by someone. I hope you are a parent cos I doubt it if you have gone thru the process of birting a child you won't open your gutter mouth to spilt rubbish. Nonsense check you very well your are exactly what you spilled up there.
God will continually bless my parents if not for God and my parents my own go don finish. They're both retired now but thank God they were both civil servants na God and their pension dey sustain us...I pray they won't die now so I can repay them when I hammer
ReplyDelete✌️✌️✌️
Amen and mine too.
DeleteAmen @ pearl.
DeleteI pray to have too to make my parents happy.
They have sacrificed so much.
Getting old and tired now☹️
Awesome parents, so many things to say about them. Keep resting in peace, Papa. I am not good at writing stories
ReplyDeleteMy parents are awesome. Their marriage may not be perfect but they were/are perfect parents to us. May God keep them alive in sound health. I have a lot I pray I’m able to do for them
ReplyDeleteMy mama is an amazing soul, my prayer partner. She's the apple of our eyes. My Dady 😭 you were a wonderful father, you were loved by so many people. Continue to rest in peace our pride and joy
ReplyDeleteAwesome parents,I pray God blesses me so I can take good care of them the way I really want.
ReplyDeleteAfter my marriage crashed,my parents took good care of me and my son.They went through the healing process with me.i went back home and they never made me felt like a failure.My family has a whole were there for me.
Recently,I saw the divorce papers because my ex never released it but I got the copy from the court and It further broke my heart.They told me there is nothing that has never happened before that I should stay strong and raise my head high.
I am thinking of moving out after five years,so I can start all over again.God bless my family.
My parents are wonderful. My mom especially is an angel. She is so gentle but firm,caring ,selfless.. remember when we had to be chased often out of primary school because of school fees,my mom won't rest until she provides them.my father on his part is selfish,he would never go the extra mile to get us anything. I remember my lawschool fees which was above 200,000 was singlehandedly provided by my mom. My dad was busy making excuses until almost the final day for payment,mom had to borrow to pay it. My mom is my best friend,I confide in her alot and she gives me advice laced with instructions from the Bible. She knows what I can do and what I cannot do without even thinking it twice. When the man I married lied I beat him,my mother never believed him but Dad was already giving it a thought. My last CS was also a trying period for us but mom would have gladly taken the pain on my behalf. I appreciate God that they are still alive and I trust God to bless me enough to better their lives especially my mom.
ReplyDeleteMy parents are awesome,may God keep them alive to eat the fruit of their labour.
ReplyDeleteI have awesome parent, thank God my mum gave me such up bringing else.......
ReplyDeleteMy parents are the best parents anyone can have.My dad taught us to be hard working,not entitled,provided for all our needs and no comparison whatsoever amongst us let alone outsiders.He is so positive,not sentimental or bias and would always say you tried but you can do better next time.
ReplyDeleteso loving and very very slow to anger.I didn't start dating early because he gave me all I needed,that I do not see the need to be in a relationship.
we are all grown ups and my dad drop messages in the family chat group,if you don't reply through out that day,just know he would call to know what's up.
My mum,is a prayer warrior,great cook and home maker,mother hen,she was the disciplinarian,we didn't get along until I was in 300l when I had my first boyfriend.
she can call has many times in a day,if she knows you're traveling or sick.Never uses curse words.
I have always known they were awesome but when my marriage crashed and my ex turned every damn thing against me.They stood up for me,never made me felt like a failure and they have never used what happened to mock or talk to me in a conscending manner.My child is a happy child because of them.Make I stop here.
GOD BLESS MY PARENTS AND SIBLINGS!
My folks are the best!
ReplyDeleteMy parents are awesome. There number one motto is good name is greater than riches. They gave us the best and taught us the best, the only downside to this is they flogged the living day light out of us at any slight wrong.
ReplyDeleteMum is the best ever to me.....
ReplyDeleteThe rest na story but make I just keep shut💃💃💃💃💃💃
My parent are awesome and the best!!!
ReplyDeleteMy mum was an angel and my best friend. I still tear up when I remember she isn't with me anymore. You all with amazing mums who are still alive, pls cherish her cuz you don't know what you have.
ReplyDeleteAs for my dad, he was a horrible husband and a far more terrible father. The first person who ever called me ashawo was my dad. And to think it was because I asked him to give me money to attend summer classes. I was just 11. Till now, I struggle to flow with him cuz he is a very malicious and difficult human being. Sometimes I question God why he took my mum rather than my dad. His kids still suffer for most of the stupid actions he took in his prime. Anyway, thank God for maturity and age. We move
Your dad called you ashawo at eleven years!
DeleteGod,am so sorry
That is the catch phrase of useless Nigerian men. Nothing that they know more than that.
DeleteMy parents were awesome. My dad of blessed memory was a selfless giver, everything/everyone was welled Carter for including extended families. So unfortunate he died in his prime. My mum too is great, took over all our responsibilities and I pray God keep her till old age.
ReplyDeleteMy parents instilled so much moral values in us. My dad was the strict one. May his soul continue to rest in peace.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up, my parents were awesome, but now at old age, they are now cat and dog. It pains me anytime I travel to the village seeing them quarrel. We have begged my mum to let go, but she refused. Can you imagine they cook separate at 70+.
ReplyDeleteThat's so sad. Reminds me of my grandparents,they did same but we were too young to understand their quarrels.
DeleteChange tactics
DeleteTake your dad as a man with ego and enjoying trouble and demotivate his troublesome side to become a protective head not a quarell partner
Change tactics
DeleteTake your dad as a man with ego and enjoying trouble and demotivate his troublesome side to become a protective head not a quarell partner
My parents are horrible. They sicceded in sowing discord amongst their children. I ll not wish my parents upon my enemy. Still trying to pick the bits of my life from where they almost destroyed it. I never wush to have anything to do with them ever
ReplyDeleteMy Dad was a civil servant. Deputy Director Federal Ministry of Industry. A graduate of Unilag. He was a loving father spiritualy strong. Always taking us to church teaching us how to read bible and be contented with what we have. A wonderful giver always helping people to get jobs in the Ministry. He taught us many things a very sound academic person reading newspapers and watching news! Doesn't indulge in idle talks! He died at a very early age heart failure! May his gentle soul continue to rest in peace Amen 🙏. Hmmmmm but my mother was the very opposite of my father. Was an illitrate didn't go to school. Always fighting and bad mouthing people. Ran away for 3yrs when our father died. She only shows love when you give her money always manipulative. She has her own favorite daughter my younger sister who has no respect for us because my mother always support her whether good or bad. Any small thing you do you will chop beatings from my mother with fresh pepper in your eyes and pussy.Never cares about us. If my mother makes money as a business woman the first thing she will do is to go to market and start buying clothes for herself. She was a shoe and clothes freak. We her children are not united as a family because of the bad seed she sowed among her children.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why good people end up with such spouses.
DeletePerhaps you the children who have fallen out of favor with your mom due to her favoritism can still be united for the sake of your Dad.
Who con get bad parents?? Na wa ooo
ReplyDeleteTell us your own story and stop making others feel their narrative isn’t valid.
DeleteFather master of divide and rule especially now, crafty, nasty ( narcissist)
DeleteMother can lovely but unpredictable emotionally especially we were growing up, manipulative and was mean and had favorite children( borderline personality, has narcissistic tendencies)
Irony the favorites are now the ones stressing her as entitled and badly behaved adults, the reasonable ones are the ones she is trying to be close to
Temi's post yesterday is a lot to ponder on. God bless the parents who do an they can to plan for, provide for, train and protect their children. Some children didn't have it so good. I thank God for my parents though they aren't perfect, they'll seek themselves into slavery to afford me certain opportunities and advantages from which I'm still benefiting today.
ReplyDeleteParents, please try and try till you succeed. Children are people, fellow human beings. The way you treat them is the way you will treat God if he came in human form. "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me."
Protect children from crimes and wickedness and don't bury the sins committed against then but rather, help them get justice.
Hmmmmm,where I wan start from. Growing up,my mum was a hair dresser, there's this rich woman she makes hair for, she pays well,and my mum call her aunty mi, the woman is married to a rich man as 3rd wife or so we hear, even thought up till now we don't know the man, all of a sudden the woman fell pregnant, stopped patronizing my mum, giving excuses, anyway when she delivered ,my mum heard and decided to go to the naming at least to help out with cooking,getting there ,she met popsy, gorgeously dressed in agbada,haha baba what are you doing here, he dragged her to corner ,told her madam rented him to act like the father,and she gave her plenty money,he even showed my mum, this was 1990, my mum was too stunned to say anything, she left without seeing the woman, but in her mind ,she can never believe the woman can date her poor hubby,talk less of having kids for him, anyway later everything comes to the open , dad moved to a bigger house with us,mum left, me and my sis became like an house maid ,in fact madam refers to us as maids if any of her friends visits, thank God for my paternal grandmother,she came one day and witness all,she cursed them on that day,call him a weakling,she took me n my sis with her that day to gbongan, that was how God saves us o, grandma was a good mother,took real Care of us, u learned the business I do today from her, she' was a very hardworking woman, people come all the way from Lagos to buy meat and snails from her, very hardworking,4am nama don wake,but won't wake us until 6,I was already menstruating in my fathers house,but no one to tell, it was my grandma that thought me how to use towel, then pads are not common I miss her everyday. Just bonding with my poor mum recently. Plenty things to write jare
ReplyDelete🤗🤗
DeleteThank God for mama. May you succeed and make her proud.
DeleteMy late dad was a bit too strict when he was alive but he tried to provide as much as he could. He didn’t involve himself with church activities or any curricular activities like school parties or PTA that had to do with us. He left those to my mum. My issue with him then was Anger. Man can vex for Africa. He would shout and shout and I will wonder why he wasn’t hypertensive at the time. We were scared of him including my mum. But when he laughs, it can be infectious. He had the most beautiful laugh and smile I have ever seen.
ReplyDeleteHe died early at 53. I miss his strong hands and authority in the family.
My late mum was so sweet, ready to help just anyone. She was also there a lot. My prayer partner. She showed us the way of the lord right from when we were little. When we started working, she reminded us not to joke with our tithe. She believed in Serving God pays!
I and my siblings are closer now because she won’t hear of any quarrel amongst us.
I’m grateful for the parents God gave me. They were awesome parents in their own way. I would forever be grateful.
My dad is AWESOME, I love my dad like my life. A humble, loving and Christlike man.
ReplyDeleteMy father has cleared a path for us to walk on. My elder brother got a job because someone who knows my father from a distance helped him.
He has always heard about how kind my father is towards people and always ready to help.
He preaches Christ everywhere he goes. I pray God keep him for us.
My mother is also awesome, a very good homemaker and home-keeper,without my mother's little saving helping me out when i needed it in school I would have dropped out.
She had to use both her capital and interest to pay my school fees last session, I didn't know until I had paid it.
She couldn't buy wrappers to sell, I owe her a lot and I pray I'll be able to pay back not just because she's my mother but because she sacrificed her all for me. We were not close before but this very act made me love her like I do my dad..Yeah my parents are awesome sincerely
Awesome mum .... selfish dad
ReplyDeleteMy parents are awesome,I thankGod for my late dad,he tried his best but death snatched him,my mum has been our pillar.
ReplyDeleteWow great comments. Mine is opposite, no love from both side.Dad tried a little and died while I was still in secondary school. Mum dosent care about anything she made me loose self confidence. Am still struggling in all aspects of my life only got help from people. Nothing bother's her. life without parent love is a bad experience. I don't wish anyone.
ReplyDeleteThank God for my parents they are wonderful .
ReplyDeleteI never knew my dad, my mum is a single parent but she hates me because she hates my dad for leaving her when she was pregnant, his family and him rejected her and my pregnancy because she is Muslim and from a poor family.
ReplyDeleteFast forward I was born but my mother hated me because she hated my dad. My dad died in his 40’s I never knew him I was only told about his death. I didn’t feel sad or bad because I never knew him. He has other kids and baby mothers too.
Today I’m also a single mum and my ex allowed his family to destroy all our plans and all his promises. I don’t hate him infact I don’t even care if he is dead or alive!
I love my child with my whole being, I call my child the reason I live, my child is my bestfriend and tells me everything good or bad, which is a relationship I never had with my mother. My child always has my back and always wants to help me with everything. I tell my child everyday that I love you and my child does the same and always praying for me randomly haha!
My child is very well looked after and we lack nothing as in absolutely nothing. One think is even tho my ex has not been part of my child’s life for many many years, if my child wants to find him and build a relationship with my ex I would never ever stop my child from doing that.
I don’t care about my feelings or how my ex broke my heart, that is all in the past but one thing I can never ever forgive my ex for is that he allowed history to repeat itself even after I told him my story with my mum and that he allowed my child to not feel a father’s love to me that is unforgivable!
Kai,this hits home,thankGod you are different from your mum and treating you child with love,may God continue to strengthen you.
DeleteMay God continue to uphold you and your child. May he give you a partner that will love you and your child unconditionally. Yours is a testimony.
DeleteAmen; thank you anon for your kind words.
DeleteI give God the glory for His grace in my life!
MomB amen and thank you
A bit off topic but those with good parents right why is it that everyone with good parents will always say theirs are “the best” (just like how everyone says theirs are the most beautiful or kind hearted) because you know you never really lived in the same era as your parents they may have been good to you but you don’t really know the life they lived- yes there’s testimonies from people who were treated well by them (as in the case of my dad ) but will someone that was treated bad go back and tell the tale TO THAT PERSONS CHILD? Think of it for yourself, would you tell your enemies children they were bad? I always wonder if we are all misled because our upbringing was very personal compared to others? This is why even when I pray I still pray for mercy over my parents yes they’re good to me, I’ve seen them be good to others and heard stories but do I even know up to half and trust me this isn’t because I’ve even seen anything questionable about my parents I’m just a critical thinker!
ReplyDeleteNa wa for you oo. Drink 🍹
DeleteWalahi you go wound yourself if care is not taken!
DeleteMy dad loves his children beyond words. He would readily go the extra mile for us. Even in his late 60's he still wants to do things for us and be involved in every decision we make, which can be quite distressing for me as a married man with children. He has a temper and control issues, however he only flogged me once as a child, when I stabbed my younger brother.(it was a small stab) He is so proud of all his children. My mum is a peaceful woman and just wants everyone to be happy, which I sometimes find annoying. Overall, I couldn't have asked for better parents.
ReplyDeleteHabutu!! This one wife go don see pepper for that marriage.lol
DeleteI regret to say that both my parents made a mess of parenthood. I wouldn't blame my mum much because she was just a child brought in to give birth to children as my stepmum had difficulties having kids after 10years of marriage (and never did). My mum was 18 and though she's in her 50's now she somehow never grew up. She loves every single one of us but that was all. Parenting is not only about love but also care, protection, guidance etc. She loves us but failed in the other aspects. My father never loved her nor saw or treated her as his wife and somehow the indifference transferred to us the children. But my mum went on to have 7kids!!! She was neither educated nor empowered. My dad was wealthy but we suffered so much that I was wondering why he married another wife for kids. He never paid our fees (thank God for govt schools), never sent money for upkeep. 5 out of 7 of us were shared amongst uncles, aunties, cousins where we were subjected to all manner of inhuman treatments. My two elder ones lived with my dad and stepmum in the city where they acted as househelps to her and adopted children. I received no love, care or mentorship from my dad. My mum loves us and scraped her way to feed us but that's all she could have done as an illiterate woman with no form of empowerment living in one village in the East. We were always hungry, dirty and unkempt. As a malicious polygamous family there was no protection. She has a pure heart, never schemed evil or believed anyone will scheme evil so everyone has access to us. She never saved nor planned for the future. She gave excess away. She never followed us with wisdom and the result was teenage pregnancies for 3 of my sisters. They never furthered their education and married struggling irresponsible men that impregnated them. Poverty more poverty. As for my dad by the time we grew up he started comparing us to other children, started putting us down trying to come close. We live in his massive house in the village but we never grew up having a father figure in our lives. I grew up feeling so insecure,low self esteem, inferior for a very long time. My saving grace is my academic excellence that he was forced to pay my fees only after I gained admission into the university and God so kind I have a good job now. He's late but I never felt any emotion when he died and it's been 8 years since but I've never missed him for once. He tried coming close when he became old and shortly before he died (at 76) but I only spent less than a year with him. Till now I'm still affected by how I grew up. I've built my self esteem but I'm an emotionally unavailable and cold person. Despite how good I'm with my job I still fidget addressing a crowd though I'm working on it.
ReplyDeleteI vowed never to be like my parents. I was not freaked about early marriage. I made sure I'm financially capable and I have learnt a lot on how to be a good mother. I'm 30 now and just about to get married. I also made sure I have a potentially good father for my kids.
I appreciate my mum but that mother daughter bond is not there.
Sorry for the long read. Typed with my phone. Please parents do better.
Well done
DeleteKeep praying for emotional strength and courage to be a loving wife and mother
My mom and dad where awesome when I was younger but as my mom passed it changed so I can't pick one cause I tasted both the sugar and the pepper of parents /parent
ReplyDeleteI Sha feel for that lady
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine the shock she felt then and now
And the scars are still with her to remind her of that terrible day
It's well 🙏🙏