Hmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
PREGNANT FOR THE 4th TIME.
Hi Stella, Please help me post, I need advice.
I am married with 3 children. My last is just 2 years old and I had all 3 thru C-section.
My problem now is, I just found out I am pregnant again, Hubby does not know yet. My husband will be so angry and disappointed at me Because he said he does not want any more children.
We live in the Abroad and it is so difficult raising children here with no help. Though we are financially okay, but the stress of doing pre-k school and daycare run, can be so stressful.
I am not on any family planning and this has always been a problem for us. I did a family planning when I had my last baby, my OBGYN suggested I can do it same time. And I almost lost my life from complication 2 weeks after. I only regained myself after the IUD came off on its own. I have phobia for anything contraception.
My husband has pushed I try other options, but the experience from the last one scares me to death. I have communicated my fears to him, but he kept pushing i try again. Even my mum has warned not to be pregnant again, since I already had c-section 3 times. I am a little scared for my life.
I want to stay alive and healthy to take care of my children. Please are there mother in the house that have done more than 3 C-sections, please can you share your experience with me. Good/bad Abortion is not an option, but I am scared, I may consider it. I don't know what to do. I need all the hug/curse, encouragement and opinions.
WHAT!!!!! You are pregnant again after 3 CS's ?????
I think you should make an appointment with your doctor ASAP because you are on a fatal path..... You cannot do a 4th CS at all!
Forget what your husband would think and save your life by quickly booking an appointment to discuss this with your doctor.....
See your Dr asap, my 2 friends did 4 cs in the USA..your Mr I don't want kids should do a vasectomy
ReplyDeleteYour husband keeps pushing you, even with your life in clear danger. Nigerian men, na only fcuk like rabbits dem sabi. What measures has he taken in place to practice planning? Or he is part of the ignorant multitude that feel family planning is a woman's job?
DeleteMadam, have a hysterectomy since you don't like contraceptives. Alternatively, your husband can have a vasectomy.
DeleteStella, first I would acknowledge the fear and urgency in your reply. I think your history of C-sections scares you but there are no hard and fast rules on the number of C-sections a woman can have. The reason for the CS, the incision type (transverse vs horizontal), the health of the woman, and the status of the baby are some of the reasons that determine number of allowed CS.
DeletePoster, you don’t have to allow yourself to be emotionally down because you are pregnant again. You didn’t get pregnant by drinking water, you got pregnant by sleeping with your husband. I acknowledge your fears of contraception but there are different options that do not involve hormones and external or internal devices. At this stage we are no longer talking about contraception but about your 4th child, made from love making between a couple, allowed by God. Do you know how many couples that have slept together for years without a child? I am one of such! For over 13yrs, I have made love with my husband without any contraception, yet no pregnancy. Not even a miscarriage.
Now, it is not about me but about you. My sister-in-law have 4 children all through CS in Nigeria. Another of my sister-in-law have 5. The last 4 were born through CS in the village not even a city in Nigeria. So 4 is doable. I have seen 6 CS, I have seen 5 and I have also seen only 1. Calm down, talk with your husband, and then together find a good doctor and let them check you out very well. Abortion is abortion. I am not sugar coating it. It is murder. I am not a Saint, I am not God but I know he will NEVER send us a cross too big for us to carry. Take a deep breath, talk with your husband and with love and togetherness, you will find a solution. Then after this, you can look for other contraceptive measures, tubal ligation, hysterectomy, vasectomy etc. So to answer your questions, number of CS is not written on stone. Best wishes and the warmest E-hugs. Na Oga scored the goal, hail him for me and congrats for being the best goal keeper!
Stella, first I would acknowledge the fear and urgency in your reply. I think your history of C-sections scares you but there are no hard and fast rules on the number of C-sections a woman can have. The reason for the CS, the incision type (transverse vs horizontal), the health of the woman, and the status of the baby are some of the reasons that determine number of allowed CS.
DeletePoster, you don’t have to allow yourself to be emotionally down because you are pregnant again. You didn’t get pregnant by drinking water, you got pregnant by sleeping with your husband. I acknowledge your fears of contraception but there are different options that do not involve hormones and external or internal devices. At this stage we are no longer talking about contraception but about your 4th child, made from love making between a couple, allowed by God. Do you know how many couples that have slept together for years without a child? I am one of such! For over 13yrs, I have made love with my husband without any contraception, yet no pregnancy. Not even a miscarriage.
Now, it is not about me but about you. My sister-in-law have 4 children all through CS in Nigeria. Another of my sister-in-law have 5. The last 4 were born through CS in the village not even a city in Nigeria. So 4 is doable. I have seen 6 CS, I have seen 5 and I have also seen only 1. Calm down, talk with your husband, and then together find a good doctor and let them check you out very well. Abortion is abortion. I am not sugar coating it. It is murder. I am not a Saint, I am not God but I know he will NEVER send us a cross too big for us to carry. Take a deep breath, talk with your husband and with love and togetherness, you will find a solution. Then after this, you can look for other contraceptive measures, tubal ligation, hysterectomy, vasectomy etc. So to answer your questions, number of CS is not written on stone. Best wishes and the warmest E-hugs. Na Oga scored the goal, hail him for me and congrats for being the best goal keeper!
Exactly. Selfish men. He saw that his wife had complications with the last contraceptive and still pushing her. Everything is on the woman. He shoukd go get a vasectomy since he doesn't want more kids
DeleteDear poster
DeleteYou can actually do a 4th cs, my fear is the spacing.
Why is your husband putting so much pressure on you, why doesn’t he try getting a vasectomy instead of putting it all in your hands?
You have to seek your doctors advice and also inform your husband.
You both should have avoided each other during your ovulation… I do that and it works perfectly.
Push up (original)
Your husband should go under the knife if he doesn't want more kids. VASECTOMY!!!
DeleteMadam book an appointment with your doctor immediately. You need to sit your husband down and ask him to do a vasectomy or you guys should say bye bye to sex. You both actually need to see a doctor and a therapist since you are in the abroad.
DeletePls seek for your Dr's advice as soon as possible.
DeleteOlannaya comment is perfect, you can actually do a 4th C/S,
DeletePoster discuss it with your husband and together you will sort things out, good Luck.
DeleteThis is way too risky now.
ReplyDeleteWhy go the pregnancy route again?
The people that warned you not to get pregnant again would be so disappointed
You could have insisted in using condom with you hubby.. because you are the one wearing the shoe oo.. pele ooo
DeleteI have heard from doctors it is risky to get pregnant, after 3 C-sections. I suggest you see your doctor first. Good afternoon
ReplyDelete8 Caesarean sections by one woman has been recorded. Discuss with your doctor and decide what you want to do.
DeleteIs 4 CS safe? Yes it is
One key factor that people tend to overlook is the spacing. Doctors recommend waiting for about 1-2 years after CS before getting pregnant again but some women fall pregnant again after a few months. That doesn't give the incisions and womb sufficient time to fully heal before expanding again to accomodate the growing foetus. Poster, if your last child is at least 2, you should be good but please book an appointment with your OBGYN asap.
DeleteIt can be done. The more CS, the higher the complication to both of you. Be wise. No be me go tell you say MAP dey effective.
ReplyDeletePeople are doing 5 CS now o, just calm down and discuss with your doctor. Then don’t be afraid to tell your husband, abi you impregnate yourself?
DeleteThe people who are doing 5 CSs do you think they wanted to do 5 CSs.
DeleteAbi do you people think it is malt and grilled fish to be cut open 5 times?
How I wish you women's brains would be half as active as your vaginas.
As for your men...🤦♀️ can't even be bothered to speak about those ones. 🚶♀️
Selfish man! Why leave all the responsibility to the woman who when she has sacrificed a lot and almost losing her life in the process. Let your husband use protection until you find a permanent solution or are you the only one in the marriage?
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteI just tire. Why can't her selfish husband do vasectomy. Why leave all the pains/procedure for a woman to bear. Madam better wise up. If anything happens oga go remarry within few weeks and have kids with the new woman.Rubbish
DeleteI am telling you. Men pleasers . Pls go and see your doctor immediately
DeleteThat's Nigerian men for you.
DeleteAll they care about is how to enjoy using their shrivelled pricks.
Nothing else concerns them.
Empty, daft, bloated lot.
There are people who have had up to 5 CS. Well, doctors are in the best place to advise you. You need to try other contraceptive methods except you want to keep breeding babies
ReplyDeleteWhy do men have issues doing a vasectomy? Why must the burden always be placed on the women? Why?
ReplyDeleteThis woman has endured three pregnancies and the stress that come with it and three CS deliveries yet men cannot just undergo the one time pain of doing a vasectomy, why? Did they tell u people we were born to be in pains? I don't even know why she's beating herself up for being pregnant. Why should the husband be angry?
Madam, do not act like it's ur fault with ur husband or he will ride all over you. Pls really really consider the abortion. One kid in this abroad is stressful enough, talk more of four. pls make enquiries on taking out the foetus since it is still early.
God is ur strength abeg.
Lastly, do not be afraid to suggest a vasectomy to ur husband.
I don't support abortion,but let her tie her womb after this last one.
DeleteWhy should she be the one to tie her womb?
DeleteMadam,you didn't impregnate yourself. So if your husband wants to get angry with you, he shoukd remember to get angry with himself . It was he who poured his seed inside you there by getting you pregnant.
DeleteI tire ooo.
DeleteThank you!!! I share the exact sentiment, I dropped my comment below. Some men be acting like they weren't participant of the sex that turned to pregnancy.
DeleteOne of our mummies here in the North did up to 4 cs o. Everybody grace dey different. A woman I know in Owerri had 3 cs, became preggy again and delivered normal. Maybe because her hubby is a doctor.
ReplyDeletePoster, go and see your doctor and if you don't have that kinda Elijah's faith, my dear think twice. All the best
Why is the weight of contraception on women alone?
ReplyDeleteAfter all you have gone through to birth his kids?
Why can't he get a vasectomy or block his sperm?
Please don't be scared the both of you did the do that resulted in pregnancy so it is not your fault!
Like stella said see your doctor and discuss your options as regarding this baby and let the contraception in future be on your husband you have been through enough already..
Sending you e hugs super mama you rock!
Yes I agree with stella.having gone tru cs three times is a risk.as a Christian,I can't support the idea of abortion but ur life may be at stake here and u have to be alive to take care of ur wonderful kids.u have to make out time to see ur doctor ASAP.pls don't let this happen again.go for family planning,the doctors may run several tests and know a better option for u to prevent conception again.u will be fine 🤗
ReplyDeleteThis one hard 😲
ReplyDeletePoster it is well with you 🤗😘👐
Hard decision right now,get a doctor's decision first
ReplyDeleteI personally know a few people that have had 4 c-sections...with one being my cousin! I even know people that have had VBACs. It is definitely discouraged and not adviced, but it is what it is!
ReplyDeleteSince your hubby doesn't know you're pregnant, it suggests you are just a few weeks gone and not showing. So, by the time you give birth next year, your last born child should be 3/3ish!
My advice to you, would be to take things easy, and shift most of the family duty onto your hubby.
And what stops him from handling birth control? You have carried 3 kids and gone through surgery to bring them into the world....why can't he do a vasectomy? His d*ck will still rise and he will still ejaculate - he just won't have sperm in his semen!
Nawa oh! I don’t understand women sometimes. Must you have sex? Even if you have, can’t you guys use condom? See wetin enjoyment of preek dey put you through. Madam, close your legs! Damn!! I’m so mad at you right now. TSays
ReplyDeleteU are asking a married woman if she must have sex? How does this ur advice even make sense to u
DeleteSorry to ask, Are you up to 18 please?
DeleteSmh for you 😳🙄🤦♀️
DeleteEngraced he or she is definitely notnupnto 18yrs. the internet accommodates all of them
DeleteMy sister in law did six CS and she is ok. Don't worry, just follow your GYN advise.
ReplyDeleteI suggest going on IG and using the hashtag, #csection and #vbac to read about people's experiences. I've seen so many mummy bloggers have a mix of both with their kids, and there are all alive, well and healthy. Please don't let people's comments here come and cause unnecessary stress to an already stressful thing for you.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, why are IUDs so evil? Xonecole did a feature on it and almost all the comments were negative. From suicidal thoughts, to wanting to commit murder, to almost dying etc. It was horrific!
Sdk she can do CS four times all things being equal provided there are no complications that can lead to fatality during her previous CS. I've seen people doing maximum of four times in my hospital here. Believe me complications is not that much aside pains and adhesions. You would be advised in my hospital here not to try the fifth time bcoz of the high risk it carries. So most of our patients had their tubes tied after the fourth attempt. So poster for u to stay alive and mother your children demand for bilateral tubal ligation after your last CS. Wishing u all the best.
ReplyDeleteMy aunt has 4kids through cs. U can pull through this, but go and see ur doctor Asap like stella, ur husband shld go for vasectomy naaaw, after all u have been through, the whole burden shld not be on u
ReplyDeleteI'll say do not panic,but then again it depends on your health records,I have a friend that has 7 children here in the abroad,she only had her first by normal birth,the remaining 6 children were birthed via C-section and she is fine,it all depends,some people are just lucky like that while some can not dare try caesarian section twice,I had 2 C-sections mysef and since then i stayed off having any more children,not because my gynaecologist warned me about anything but just my mind scary of what could happen if I try again,Go see your gynaecologist to discuss the way forward
ReplyDeleteNot normal cause there’s none that’s abnormal
DeleteThey are called vaginal births
I discussed with a chief doctor in a federal hospital about fourth C's,he said there's no rule in C's except if your previous ones don't heal well but as far as you are strong and okay, there's no panic but as a human, you should use your senses and rest especially if the three C's has all the living babies.
ReplyDeleteYou can definitely have a 4th C-section but I’ll advice you tie your tubes afterwards. It can be done after the baby is delivered and before you leave the OR.
ReplyDeleteAssistant god and the word definitely even consultant OBGYN won't use such word. May the real God forgive you.
DeleteTruth is your doctors is the only one in the best position to give you advice. People can advice you based on their own experience, but the doctor will advise you based on your own circumstance. Please kindly book an appointment with your doctor and follow the advice given
ReplyDeleteWhy dont people use the 28 days pill?is there any side effect of using it for long after having the desired number of kids one want?
ReplyDeleteUntil u use it and become yokozuna like me
DeleteAside from that which other effect does it have?I have been using it for years now and i am not fat o
DeleteI too have been using the pill for almost 3yrs now, no side effects whatsoever till date.
DeleteLong time Pills usage is the introduction of artificial hormones in the body with the risk of cancer in the future.
Delete19:28 some of you talk so immature is annoying...so growing fat is not an issue? Common sense should tell you people that because it worked for you it might not work for others....
DeletePlease calm down poster,don't panic,go and see your doctor and you both decide.
ReplyDeleteI know someone who has 5kids through CS and she is perfectly fine with no issues.
Please poster Don't panic , my Aunty had Four out of Five of her children through CS . The marks on her Tummy ehh like railway tracks . She had them when they had not started this clean type close down she is a Grandmother now . GOD WILL SEE U THROUGH. Another woman I know she Just Finished having twins Through CS before she knew it she took in Again . It was Crazy but GOD came through for her . Be ENCOURAGED TRUST GOD but please be careful so this will be the last .
ReplyDeleteUka.
Why is your husband not wearing condom if he desperately does not want a child anymore?
ReplyDeleteThe responsibility of contraception doesn't have to be on only the woman.
It is not solely YOUR fault that you are pregnant, BOTH of you contributed equally, so have a seat with him, tell him and you both agree on th3 way forward.
NB: DO NOT let him guilt trip you.
Be speaking grammar na, who carries the outcome of not being responsible? Abi the man is pregnant and hormonal now too ni? Humans are selfish as they deem fit, if she really wanted the baby and the husband did not she would do anything to conceive, why couldn't she apply that in the reverse. Go seek professional advise and stop looking for validation of this foolishness on SM.
DeleteDear poster, kindly have a discussion with your doctor and stop beating your self up. Also try and have a heart to heart discussion with your husband and you guys can come up with an alternative to IUD. I'm sure he will understand, you did not impregnate yourself nah.
ReplyDeleteMy cousin has four kids all through CS, the third child is about six years older than the last child so I think you would be fine
ReplyDeleteJesus I wish Stella blog have voice recording, madam pls check Atg doctors, that is Ask the gynaecologist on Facebook or snow inspiration by doctor chudi ,these doctors are life savers they studied abroad and have centers here in Nigeria, doctor chudi they both advocated that the least you can do is three surgeries ,two births one fibroid is three surgeries,
ReplyDeleteKindly and seriously consider abortion and be alive to train your children , na who live go train pikin o , he shld be ready to use condom , or you consider along term contraception
Me and selfishness.
Visit your doctor and discuss abortion
And pls Bvs let's stop telling women my friend did five Cs or Antie did six we re not in the stone age , everybody's grace is different they will cheer you on where as bp will finish you , I rather stay alive by following my OBGYN advice than looking for someone's grace to tap .
Dear poster you re abroad do the needful don't consider a fourth Cs
Kindly take your decision early. You need to stay alive to train your children.
ReplyDeleteAbeg I never marry. Make I just read comments
ReplyDeleteYou can have more than 3Cs but please see a doctor ASAP. Don't beat yourself up over this, your fear is valid and your husband should be way more understanding.
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine has 4 kids through CS
ReplyDeleteThe first baby was a girl, the 2nd a baby girl and the 3rd a baby girl and she was crying and asking God questions upon questions and last year she took in and delivered her 4th through CS and God showed her mercy and gave her a baby boy💃💃💃
You can,, please see your Doctor Asap..
All the best poster.
So she risked her life and took in again because of a male child? what if something happens to the boy tomorrow? When she is past menopause?She will die? Let's be practical here pls, we see such cases everytime, see Sylvester oromoni of Dowen college fatal beating for example, he was the only boy.
DeleteWomen need to think of their health and survival first before anything else. She had three girls who needed her alive, yet she didn't think .
God's always faithful 🙏 🙌
DeleteThank God for her baby boy.
18:49 she will go into everlasting depression and never remain the same again. I wonder why people prefer to please others at the expense of their own lives.
DeleteYou should have tied your tubes immediately after your last CS, since you had no plans for more children. I have 4 children, the last 3 were born through CS. After my last CS, my tubes were tied immediately. If you decide to keep the baby, make sure your tubes are tied simultaneously with the CS. If you terminate it, get your tubes tied if your husband refuses to do a vasectomy. At the end of the day, it is your body.
ReplyDeleteYou can safely have a 4th cs. Just talk with your Gynae.
ReplyDeleteIf you are worried about your hubby I suggest you use reverse psychology on him. When you bring up the issue, appear down cast and let him let him know you are disappointed in him and you believe he doesn’t care about you and your health if not he would have been more proactive with seeking alternative contraceptive since the one you did was life threatening and considering you have undergone 3 cs already.
He would be the one consoling you and assuring you that he you will be fine.
He should seriously consider getting a vasectomy.
@ Olanaya! When your comment I longer than the chronicle. It'd called comment not sermon for a reason, resist the urge to preach.
ReplyDeleteDear poster! It is well with you,but try and see your doctor Asap! May God direct you,I don't support abortion,but I believe you will be okay, whatever the doctor says will determine your next line of action,may God be with you
ReplyDeleteI did non hormonal IUD and my baby is almost a year and no kind of complication. Anything hormonal I'm out . Please ask about the non hormonal one. I did ten years o cos I no wan hear stories.
ReplyDeleteSee them advicing someone to ask the husband to get vasectomy but they are popping pill cos they can’t tell their husband but can advice someone to do that…listen to their advice at ur own peril
ReplyDeleteYou must think some of us worship and are scared of our husbands.
Delete22:23, don't mind them. They cannot tell their own husbands to even use condoms let alone another thing. Their husbands are small gods to them, forget all the lies they come here to feed gullible people.
DeletePlz see ur doctor
ReplyDeleteYour doctor is in the best position to answer all your questions, see your doctor but please consider taking off this one so that you can stay alive
ReplyDeleteMy sister in law has had 4 c section and she is doing well. Some women have had up to 7 c section. We lived in the United States so we have good doctors. You seid you are in the abroad.So many women have had 4 c section. You are not the only one. They discouraged you to have more children because of your history of c section. But please a
ReplyDelete