Hmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
URGENT ADVICE NEEDED
I am dating a guy who wants to marry me as a second wife. His wife has been TTC for almost 15years..
I am dating a guy who wants to marry me as a second wife. His wife has been TTC for almost 15years..
He lives in a different continent and wants me over once we settle down. I don't know if my family will accept him.
I have aunts who TTced for several years till one managed to do ivf and gave birth to twins., the other had a child with down syndrome while the other adopted a child.
My point is they will advice his wife tries ivf. Dude isn't ready to spend millions for IVF. He said his wife had problems while aborting his child when they were dating and her eggs are too weak. Wish I can see the future.
I don't want to take such a big risk and regret at the end..
I wish he was all mine or single. Dude loves me now and I love him back. Should I string him along and enjoy while it lasts?? Almost 31 , single with no child...
Hmmmmm, dont believe everything he tells you and dont break that woman's heart further...If she had problems while aborting his child when they were single, he should walk through this phase with and not try to marry a second wife who will give him kids, what will happen to her? That woman will curse you with tears if she finds out......
He should go and do IVF or get a surrogate and not abandon her to go marry you....Take a walk please, he does not love you and only needs a baby machine... if you dont conceive on time after marrying him, do you think he will stay with you? wake up and walk away oh
Look before you leap.
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteWhat is even funny is how this poster believes that her own eggs are 100% and that she’ll not have any fertility issues. Dem dey write am for face???? I hate when we women think our body/eggs is better than the other person. How do you know?? Listen na God’s mercy and Grace dey make person pregnant not medicine and Dr. So for you to think you are ripe and fertile over his wife is hilarious. Please marry him and I pray you go through what his wife is going through, then you’ll truly understand LIFE.
DeleteTill one managed to do IVF...sai! Mbok obong.
DeleteEnough God no go shame us oooo
Don't be the reason for another woman's pain o.
ReplyDeleteLeave the married man alone or let his wife go do IVF for starters
Selfish and mean man
DeleteMy sister RUNNNNN
He is a user, after aboryiing he doesn't want to pay for IVF ?
HE NEVER TALK TRUE
HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU, HE WANTS TO COLD-HEARTEDLY USE YOU!
Smart man. Mumu lady in waiting (ooops sorry it slipped). See madam let me tell you he doesn’t love you. All he wants is someone to produce kids for him. He agreed to the abortion that destroyed his wife now he wants to run . You see how men are? Very selfish. Women must always learn to use their head to love not their heart. Same as married men who tell other girls when toasting that their wife is as cold as fish in bed, bring their wives down Just because they want to get into the girls panties. DO NOT MARRY THAT MAN. Don’t be deceived. A word is enough for the wise.
DeleteNo be only wants you over😂😂
ReplyDeleteGuy wants to turn you to a baby making factory here in Nigeria. Better leave that man and pray to God for your own husband to locate you.
Stop using the excuse of you are 31 to justify what you are about to do.
As in... the next sub-story would be 'you need to be pregnant before we process your travel documents'.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteJust run for your life and tender heart. You are still young and beautiful at 31.
DeleteHis wife had problems aborting for him and now he wants to leave her and marry you. Come to think of it, you sure say his pr*ck dey work so. Bullet fit acquire target?
ReplyDeleteThe man is very selfish and inconsiderate if he is willing to spend "millions" on you but not on IVF.
Also, you're 31. If we're being realistic, your biological clock is ticking and very first too. What makes you think he'll be patient with you. I mean 15yrs is a long time and frankly speaking he won't wait another 15yrs for you.
Another possibility is that this is a plan between him and his wife to get you pregnant, secure papers for his baby, adopt your baby as theirs and do away with you.
Well, what do I know. You seem to be in love
Women will open their eyes wild and walk into fire greedily, just because of pecks. If you have any atom of conscience, you shouldn't be writing such in. It would have been a bit different if this was been propositioned by the said wife.
DeleteIf you don't mind birthing his baby, then ask to bring his wife in for surrogacy while you get paid.
If it were you, would you mind if a future husband decides to go down this route? That's the question you ought to ask yourself first.
I Dey tell you.
DeleteHmmm poster na wa o. Do you want to be the other woman?
ReplyDeleteLook at the circumstances surrounding this dude and his wife and you still want to....
Anyway if your mind carry you na you sabi
So you're in love,with this kind of a wicked man? Or plain greedy? 😏😶
ReplyDeleteI mean.. isn’t she just greedy?
DeleteMy Sister this your person is sounding like someone i know very well. Did he recently get a house in Lakeview Estate Ago Palace. If it is please just RUNNNNN for your life. He will never bring you over there. He wants you to get pregnant first and you will remain in Nigeria forever.
DeleteHow will he file papers for you to join him over there? when Oyibo law na one wife, one husband. Do not let your desperation for marriage cloud your senses please.
All his promises are empty and selfish, You are only considered as a baby making machine.
You are young and God has a Great plan install for you Dear, when your testimony is near, the devil comes with a fake deceptive agenda and if you are not careful, you fall for it.
Be Patient and Wait on the Lord for your own Husband not 2nd wife. is that how low you want to go. Be Wise
Na Emeka???
DeleteNot Emeka??? Emeka is his friend in surulere running around for him. He is Chinedu staying overseas
Delete‘He lives in a different continent and wants me over once we settle down.’
ReplyDeleteI smiled after reading that 👆
The amount of fishes that net has caught.
Anyone advising her has time to waste.
BBM
Crafty mean and wicked men looking for gullible women to deceive
DeleteAll the reasons he gave for marrying a second wife are red flags.
ReplyDeleteJust imagine for a second that the first wife could have been you, there lies your answer.
What makes you think the problem is not from him. Always putting it on women.
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't want to spend millions doing IVF but he will spend millions marrying a second wife and bringing her to the country he is staying.....I have no words for both of you. Mtchwww
ReplyDeleteGbam!
DeleteI don’t think you really understand what marriage is about.
ReplyDeleteYou want to sign up for forever with a man that clearly lacks integrity and loyalty. He’s been cheating on his wife with you and you feel he would be faithful to you. You two suit each other.
Go on and marry him. Na here we dey Dey wait your chronicles.
God bless you for this reply. They truly fit each other
DeleteThis poster is very mean & selfish. His wife got fertility issues from an abortion they most likely agreed on & he doesn’t want to spend money on IVF with her? You believed this cock & bull story?
DeleteWhen will some greedy Naija babes learn that polygamy IS NOT allowed in the West at least here🇺🇸 Why do you think Mercy Aigbe is joining the village wives to “pepper” Funsho Adekaz? My hunch is that she wants the woman to divorce the guy knowing that her position of second wife is not valid in the US. The law here does not recognize all the Naija bs using religion to justify polygamy & it must pain her that her greedy hands can’t touch their lives in America unless she can somehow push her out. if I was Funsho I won’t even divorce him especially if their assets here are jointly owned. You want to do a Ruth K*dir* (her own “husband” is in Sweden with his Oyinbo wife) and be the Naija wife that may never get to even visit the other country? Poverty & greed with lack of empathy is the bane of some women. Put yourself in the shoes of the TTC woman… he isn’t accusing her of cheating or any character flaws. Children are a gift from God. Who knows what’s in your future too. Let’s empathize with each other. It would have been different if they had divorced due to other issues but you are gleefully, shamelessly asking folks to give you advice on how to go about settling down in Nigeria with a married man using your shared nationality to undermine a woman that may live him and may have given up more than her fertility for him? Na wa!
Eggs don't get weak, they decline with age or hormonal issues makes it not viable. Yes I pray she does IVF with donor eggs, I pray with all my heart that it works with multiples.
ReplyDeleteI really feel for her, truly.
Bet a hundred: this poster ain't leaving this guy.
Pls leave a married man....if you really love him, ask him permission to speak to his wife and know her stand too. A challenge and I wish you luck!
ReplyDeleteHe should go and do IVF. Good afternoon
ReplyDeleteDude isn't ready to spend millions for IVF.
ReplyDeleteThats your answer
If he can afford it but won’t spend on her ivf, then you know whom he is
Also did he learn about the abortion before marriage or after
I agree with Stella,tell the man to try IVF with his wife,if it doesn't work,surrogate will.He hasn't even done everything possible to get solutions with the wife that got complications from abortion which he knew about.
ReplyDeleteThis man is selfish,he would do worse to you,If truly he said he isn't ready to spend on IVF and he has the capacity.
Don't fall for him but if you want to,you better come out clean to your family and let his wife be informed too.
My goodness! Poster,A married man is cheating with you and you're proudly telling us you love him.
ReplyDeletePolygamy is acceptable only when the wife is in agreement.How dare you do this to your fellow woman?
Whether your family agrees or not,You need the CONSENT of that innocent woman that you're trying to destroy her home.
P.S That man in question is very selfish and inconsiderate..I'm angry abeg.
Polygamy is illegal in the US & many western countries. How will the feds treat taxes & other complex issues. Naija is the only country that becomes pious in the women Dept of religion saying polygamy is allowed by one religion & tradition. The system here only recognizes ONE wife, most of these men just lie to get mistresses to keep in Nigeria. They then travel often to live the lawless life they miss in the structured society. I don’t see how social security and other arms of the US government for instance will treat a polygamous home with all the forms and documentation/ records in the society. Developed societies are very structured, it’s very difficult unless you all work under the table as illegal aliens. I still think that’s why the actress is doing “pepper dem” with extended family wives to the legal Mrs Adekaz as she will not be recognized in the US as his wife. Watch the population explosion in Naija due to this indiscipline. Japan is begging it’s people to have kids, the US is banning abortion partly to increase Caucasian birth rate but one fulani guy was pictured in the news with about 32 children, breeding into poverty. Polygamy is NOT accepted in developed societies. Unless you are willing to live underground all your stay in the society. It’s not even conducive for national planning and policy making to have 15 kids per household.
DeleteIf you marry that man, then you are cursed. Don't meddle in something that is none of your business. The lady had an abortion for him so let them face the consequences together. The man wants to eat his cake and have it by having a child with you. Back off.
ReplyDeleteCold-hearted man, wicked man
DeleteVery good response from the Mama herself... Stella of life.
ReplyDeletePoster you open leg for that man, sorry be your name. HE WILL USE U, STRING U AND DUMP U like hot charcoal. Be wise and go find your man.
Dude isn't ready to spend millions for IVF but Dude is ready to spend to get married to you and move you over, his attitude to his wife is enough to show how you'll treated. Don't think having a child with someone like him will make them an angel overnight, you'll collect your own dose of his wickedness, he might probably need you for baby making only.
ReplyDeleteThe common advice is to marrysomeone who is nice and kind and see how they treat others, this man is none of the two.
Goodluck to you
Felicity
How much is IVF? See your mouth like spend millions on ivf? Wetin carry you enter married man space to start with? December now, you go enter Shiloh dey ask God to bless you with your own husband and you keep wondering why He wont hear you.
ReplyDeleteGod please bless all the women trying to conceive with their own children. Poster process his proposal very well before doing well. Put yourself in the woman shoes.
ReplyDeleteAmen ooooo
DeletePremium tears await you if you try that nonsense.
ReplyDeleteYou want to become a beaby making machine abi?
ReplyDeleteI pity you in advance, you better think well before venturing into what we damage u
poster do not agree to that selfish man's decision. Make him involve his wife and be sure she want to have you as co-wife else allow the man to go fix his family problem. He even told you the wife lost it when she went to abort for him when she hasn't married him and he is giving you stories. Same way he is giving you stories now he will give another person once you are unable to get pregnant.
ReplyDeleteHave you try to fall pregnant and see if you can based on what you said about your aunties? Please do not contribute to that woman's problem just drive oga to go and fix his headache.
Go and marry a selfish wicked man ! Just don't disturb us when he brings out the cane he is currently using to flog the wife.
ReplyDeleteYou are dating a married man and u are happy with urself and people are even being nice with their advice 🙄. Marry him while he is still married and I wish u even worse than what the wife is going through
ReplyDeletePls don't marry that man,God will send a man for u.just be prayerful
ReplyDeleteThe man is not willing to spend on IVF, and is not willing to spend on surrogacy.
ReplyDeleteBut he is willing to spend on marrying new yarinya and paying for ticket, visa etc for her to relocate to his country of residence.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Very what? Very funny.
E don tey since dem dey use women's pant measure circumfrence and density of Nigerian men's brains.
The vast majority of Nigerian men are users
DeleteThe people saying you shouldn't marry him because he already has a wife are those celebrating Regina Daniels on this blog. Did they ask how Ned's other wives felt when he married her? Or was he looking for children because his wives had fertility issues?
ReplyDeleteIf you like him, marry him. A man or woman should not suffer childlessness because the other person has fertility issues.
Marriage is no longer for better for worse? Omg😳
DeleteThis is how you know selfish people.You put your wife in a terrible situation and now, you want to abandon her for your own selfish gain.I hope she realizes what you are about to do on time and deals with you because there are a lot of other options asides marrying a second wife.
ReplyDeletePlease don't try it, I have a case of a 15 years old girl ( she is still in secondary School when this happens ). The guy came from abroad and wanted to marry her, her parents agreed but the church refused even their neighbors was against the marriage too, then her parents parked out of that area.
ReplyDeleteTo be continued
Poster trade carefully to avoid had I known..
ReplyDeleteListen to Stella's advice.
Byeeeeee
Do you really not know how immigration procedures work, or are you that greedy that you're totally blinded??
ReplyDeleteHe can marry you traditionally in Nigeria...but he will not be able to take you to whatever continent he is on, because you will not be regarded as his wife! This polygamy thing only applies in the country/region that you belong. Outsiders do not regard it the same way!
The only way he will be able to sponsor your stay wherever he is...is if he formally divorces his wife in court, and marries you legally? But will the wife allow? I highly doubt it!
Bro, face your front. Dude doesn't love you.
ReplyDeleteHow many millions does ivf or surrogacy costs anyways?
If he can't spend small millions like that how many millions would he spend on your and your kids after being a baby making machine!
Don't sleep oo. You go regret am oo
Poster what if you did not get pregnant instantly or you are blessed with a girl child and God in His infinite mercy decides to bless this woman with twin a boy and a girl what will be your faith. check very well before you jump in. I come in peace
ReplyDeletePoster I'm commenting again because you are being used. Don't let longer throat for abroad land you in a life of perpetual suffering.
ReplyDeleteHow are you even sure you are going to have a baby? I bu chukwu?
Please the suffering TTC women go through Is too much on them, don't add to it.
May God bless all women going through TTC phase 🙏
No let Nigerian man use you match nyama nyama o, that abroad you wii not even smell the airfreshner of it. Ah tor, no be Nigerian man again, he will just string you along with sweet promises, knack you belle and disappear . Meanwhile try to use your brain when attempt to think. So will relocate abroad as per what, second lawful wedded wife abi whatchamcallit, where apart from this hovel you call a country and similar hovels do you think bigamy exists?
ReplyDeleteDo you even know what bigamy is???
No put head dere oo, no be ya own so comot ya eyes. He doesn’t want to pay for ivf knowing fully he is d one dat caused wat happened to d woman. Wicked man instead of doing wat is right he wants to marry another wife
ReplyDeleteThe life of a woman trying to conceive is not an easy one, don't contribute to her pain. I'm sure you came here to seek counsel because your spirit tells you that what you about to get yourself involved in is not right, please listen to SDK & all the BVs giving you wise counsel. May the Lord give you your own husband & a beautiful home, amen!
ReplyDeleteHer parents stop her from going to school and they allow the man to married her against every body's opinion, he rented a flat for himself and her. she become pregnant immediately and gave birth to a very handsome baby boy, he sarted misbehaving, coming home late night and drunk then she just gave birth and her mother was in their house and her baby is not up to three months. This man came back home one night and left with the baby. Uptil now she have not see her son, it is more than 5 years now. That is when the truth about this man came out, he is married and childless, so he used her and get what he want.
ReplyDeleteVERY EVIL AND HEARTLESS MAN!
DeleteThis is a story of a 15 years old girl up there, very beautiful girl. After that night that her husband took her baby, she and her mother leave that house without picking anything even their clothes, they went back to her father's house. After that incident she start behaving like a mad girl, out of shame they packed out ( her family, her parents and siblings ) Please sister run for your dear life, what a wicked man !
DeleteThe moment some of you hear "abroad" your sense of reasoning will fly out. You want to marry someone who treats his wife as trash, because you are queen Eliza and yours will be different abi😂😂.
ReplyDeleteMadam u are very wicked, put urself in that woman's shoes, how will u feel if u are treated in the same manner, u love a married man, can u hear urself, don't be a tool the devil will use to destroy a peaceful home, that man might even have kids here and there but bent on deceiving u after he is done knocking u up and makjng u a baby mama believe abroad people and there lies at ur own risk. Some men can go to the extent of telling u that their wife is dead, na denying not having kids they cannot do, calmly wait for ur own man. The day he will flaunt his kids on his status, u will run mad.
ReplyDeleteOur landlord did same to his wife, decieved her into marrying him only for the wife to discover years later that he has kids, a woman that he lied abt that cannot give birth, don born full everywhere, funny enough na the woman sweat the evil man use dey take care of second wife
Madam financial adviser,
ReplyDeleteGraduate of Harvard business school. Pls leave that man and every other married man. Your win will come
He should bear the consequence of his action alone. How do you know you will bear him a child even if you're fertile. The man sounds wicked be careful. There are other options for him to choose.
ReplyDeleteYou will be in a complicated situation, your situation will always always be complicated.
ReplyDeleteIf you're ready then nah you Sabi.
Also, see the reasoning of the man you want to risk your life, peace and happiness for, a man who claims to have the money BUT has vowed that he cannot spend money in doing IVF. What sacrifices is he willing to make for a child he has waited for 15 years for? Nah your pikin go be priceless gold abi?
I am 30 years, single and not so attractive facially, I am very slim and not curvy at all, yet I won't settle for this yeye union that you are considering entering, unless of course your religion permits it.
Hagar in the Bible went to marry Abraham, Sarah's husband, shebi you see how her life turned out. God himself told Abraham to listen to his wife , Sarah to drive Hagar away.
Nah wah ohhhhh, value systems shaa differ.
Shey u know if u eventually get pregnant and marry, he will still cheat, please don't disturb him while at it.shey u are ready?... ....If age isn't on your side please have a child because you want one and can comfortably take care of.
ReplyDeleteHe's isn't ready to spend millions on IVF on the same woman he must have cajoled to abort for him, but he's willing to spend that millions on you, as you are very special? Right!, Hmm, I don't think you understand, you are dealing with a selfish and very
ReplyDeletewicked man here, until you enter his trap, then your eye go clear.
You are the one that will bring forth kids for him. Well done, destiny helper😂😂😂. It will shock you. Don’t go and pray for your own husband, second hand wife. Some women will not just have sense. They get so emotional with stories that some useless men tell them. Continue onyeoma CY.
ReplyDeleteNo be some onyeoma CY😂😂😂
Delete*small
DeleteFair weather love. Marry this man at your own risk.
ReplyDeleteThat man is a very wicked person. And you are also not a nice person too. Just close your eyes and imagine yourself in this man's wife condition and decide what to do.
ReplyDeleteYoruba people say, the cane that was used to flog the first wife is at the corner of the room for the second wife.
ReplyDeleteMadam Mistress, why have you decided to wreck another woman's home? A marriage that have survived for 15 years and you want to be the reason why this marriage will scatter.
ReplyDeleteThe truth may hurt anyone.