Hmmm....
A SHOCKING NARRATIVE TO LEARN FROM
I went to Benin from Abuja where one woman that gives herbs for TTC women gave me herbs and asked me to cook it with clay pot.
I went round Abuja looking for where to buy clay pot for days till the leaves got dry because I was warned not to allow the leaves dry.
I went to Enugu one woman gave me leaves to bath with and wash off evil spirits. For days, I was bathing with leaves and smelling like pig.
My girl in the office took me to her Fulani aunty in Auchi (Edo State) who gave me some substance to add to my bathing water at night. This substances smells like dead rat. I close my mouth each time I want to bath with it . Where did I not go?.
Just say it and I will be there the next day.
I was a shadow of myself. Lost my self confidence. Looked 10yrs older than my real age I went from National hospital to Garki hospital, asokoro hospital, from one gynecologist to another in different states.
HSG shows all is well while test shows high prolactin.
Hubby vowed not do IVF or adoption. I needed a child badly because I love Children so much more so I was 30.
I went to one they said wash wombs and he gave me anesthesia that made me sleep for two days.
I saw beating as normal and looked forward for it . Emotional violence is like tea. It can happen anywhere anytime from Hubby and his siblings, Hubby was changing women like cloth. I had no option than to endure.
My sisters in-law used me as rag in my own house.
Can you imagine my shock the day I found out hubby is the cause of our TTC. Zero sperm count. He is aware and hid it from me.
I fainted.
Let me stop here . Don't wish this memory to my enemy
Shout out to every TTC woman. You are my MVP.......
A lot of women that are TTC are going through same problem but dont know it...Once the man keeps dodging, he is suspect!
so did you leave?
Pls come and complete the story. I hope you have remarried now. That beast doesn't deserve a good woman like you.
ReplyDeleteMadam, please return with complete gist.
DeleteThat wicked family, I hope they meet their type..
So sorry for your experience.
Jesus
DeleteSuch evil wickedness
My advice is that both should go for medical check up… it may not always be the woman, but most women blame themselves.
About the high prolactin, please make sure you get it stabilized cus it also causes infertility in some cases (I suffered it for a while but I found out before I got married so I had time to get treated)
But your husband is wicked like so wicked.
Push up (original)
Dear women, if after 6 months-1 year of marriage, you still can't conceive, after trying, YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND SHOULD GET TESTED TOGETHER!!! Poster, please just go for deliverance from all the juju you got entangled with if not it will affect you in the future. Pele. 🤗
DeleteWhy are men afraid of IVF. My sister is in that shoe with the poster. She got married at 24 and gave birth at 27.
DeleteFrom that time till now, she has not conceived not to talk of giving birth.Giving birth to a kid is really disturbing her and she wants more. She has done and seen several doctors but they tell her nothing is wrong with her and the husband but the husband has refused blatantly to do IVF, they are both 40 now. She has added so much weight due to several injections and drugs here and there while the husband is having I don't care attitude
Same with some of my friends, the husbands have refused to do IVF. So, I am confused.
Why are d guys afraid of IVF?
15:56 the worst thing, is the horrible bast,ard men will be catching the women jump from place to place, injesting all manner of drugs, man with penis that is shooting cold water, will join family members to mock and denigrate the wife calling her barren, meanwhile the fooooool is impotent. It can only be Nigerian men, better make sure your men are tested with you. Most of them are just carrying de.ad penises.
DeleteThose of you saying men should get tested. Read the comment from one Anon below. Her husband presented a fake test result. Men can bribe lab attendants and get a fake result in order to maintain their ego.
DeleteThe best is to divorce such men, I mean the wicked men. But Nigerian women would want to die there, their lives revolves around marriage.
@anonymous 18.22 you are so right @Nigerian women wanting to die in a dead marriage. I empathised with the poster till I got to the part where she said "Beating became normal"! Like what the hell! Did you hate yourself that much?! You even became a rag and was blatantly disrespected in your own home.A home you built with your so called husband. I had the same experience( without the abuse though..won ti e bi metala da to try it).Turned out the punk was the problem because after I left him I got together with someone else and boom I got pregnant. We were together 13 years.
DeleteJeez
DeleteMay God strengthen and put smile on your face always
Is a man not entitled to a say in the number of children of a marriage or the medical procedure he is willing to subject his body to.
DeleteSo long as a man does not deceive his wife about his fertility status or blame her for not conceiving another child, nobody has the right to insult him for refusing IVF.
What are you on about? The only part he has to play in the process is sperm donation
Deleteivf for men is bring sperm out only
DeleteNo no no. Hmmm
ReplyDeleteWhat an evil family !!
DeletePlease come and update us.
It is well.... please send in the concluding part.
ReplyDeleteThis is very sad. Some men are just too evil and manipulative. You knew you were the problem, you allowed an innocent woman to suffer your foolishness. Women shouldn't allow men and their family to drag them in the mud for the sake of marriage.
ReplyDeleteRisking her life for the senseless man, very annoying.
DeleteDear Women, you are also complete without marriage. Pls always consider your safety. Na who Dey alive dey born pikin.
ReplyDelete😲😲😲Ha!
ReplyDeleteOh dear. So sorry for all you went through. I hope you are no longer suffering in that house. Some men are wicked.
ReplyDeleteWicked man. I hope you have moved on with your life?
ReplyDeleteSluttychic.
Wow..
ReplyDeleteThis can be heartbreaking
Some men are wicked.. Imagine all you went through..
I pray that the Lord will bless all waiting mothers, your children shall surround your table and you shall see your children’s children in Jesus name!
Bv Yosola
Wow!
ReplyDeleteI suspected he was the one with issues before i finished reading. Your inlaws beat you, treated you anyhow, and you allowed it to continue?? Hmmm. Are you still with him enduring all of this,emotional, and physical abuse? You know if you were the one that had issues, hubby and his people would have kicked you out.
ReplyDeleteThey are all crazy for treating her that way. A woman TTC is going through so much already and then adding maltreatment to it is just pure wickedness.
DeleteI hope she has moved on o.
Women dey suffer o. You’ll eat this and that so you can have a child.
May God come through for every woman TTC.
Sluttychic.
My dear, they are CRAZY. I really do hope she's out of that place, for her own sanity sef.
DeleteThis one that she is still calling him hubby, I don't think she has left him. She would have added "ex" to it.
DeleteMay God bless every woman praying for the fruit of the womb,that process is not easy atall.
ReplyDeletePoster i hope you are in a better place now?
Aunty please complete the story this is unfair now
ReplyDeleteO wrong nau what did you do ? How did you handle it are you still in the marriage ?
I bet you she’s still in the sham Marriage. She didn’t say she left so there goes your answer.
DeleteExactly...that's why she's vague @ the end of the gist. Better leave him and find out how you will get your own child through ivf or surrogacy. Don't let your life's wish of having a child or children slip away from your grasp cos of a useless man!
DeleteYou people can bet rubbish on a total stranger.. So you expect me to be in that house a day after my discovery?. It's a wow
Delete18:24, thank God you left. Some women will remain there especially if he is rich
DeleteYou haven't completed your chronicle, I was about asking where is your husband in all of these until I read it to the end. Some men sha,the audacity!
ReplyDeleteWhat a wicked man. Ttc can make some women desperate to do anything just to have a baby. Thank God you found out before you do the unspeakable. How did you find out about his zero sperm count?
ReplyDeleteI don't mean to sound insensitive, but a lot of you live by the mantra, "take your secrets to the grave". "Don't let anybody know your secrets, not even your spouse, because they will use it against you later".
ReplyDeleteMaybe, the husband is a BV here, and took the 'advice' given to heart.
If you have ever given such 'advice' on this website, then do not be a hypocrite by cursing/insulting the man. He is only doing as you have said. You cannot pick and choose which secrets to let out, and which ones to keep in.
No this isn't something you keep a secret. The man is plain wicked, he cheated and felt comfortable watching his siblings mess his wife up, to me he doesn't Ve respect for this woman.
DeleteLol..
DeleteNow they're changing mouth.
Don't mind them.
They'll come and tell you it's secret like abortion and hoelosho/hook up lifestyle as if those things don't cause future problems in the marriage, ABI sheet abotion no dey spoil womb? Or infection from sexual act no fit cause infertility too..
If you support keeping this things secret, then you should also support the guy keeping secrets if he is an ex convict, a ex thief or ex killer a secret, after all the past is they past.
I'm not perfect, but make we dey talk truth when we see am, if you marry an ex con/murderer who didn't disclose it, and later find out after marriage, cos it definitely would still come out, how would you feel when you do? That exactly how a man would feel when you hid your hoelosho past from him, he'll feel like you faked and deceived him to marry you. That marriage might never remain the same after.
There's one thing some ladies are doing now that's later affecting their marriages but don't know,. I'll talk about it when I have the time
Why are some men so heartless.
ReplyDeleteAs a lady that is TTC, as you are going for fertility test, kindly drag your husband with you and do the test with him. If he refuse to go with you, then don't bother going at all.
ReplyDeleteIf he wahala you because you are TTC, divorce him.
As single lady/man, before you marry, do fertility and mental test when doing marriage tests.
If the result comes out bad, then you decide if you can manage the situation and marry or walk away.
Young man, ask your fiancée if she has had abortion or any medical complications. If she say that as a mature man that you should let her past be in the past, my dear run ooo and be your "immature" in peace.
Don't let her blackmail you emotionally.
If she come clean about her bad past, then you decide if you can manage the situation and marry her or walk away.
But as a man if you have married her and find out her womb has been tampered with and she can't give birth, divorce her if you can't forgive her.
Same goes to ladies, if you marry him and find out he can't father a child, divorce him if you can't forgive him.
As in eh, why was she the only one going.
DeleteShe get luck na only bath she bath them for finish her kidneys.
Another woman somewhere is doing her own waka waka from one shrine to the other.
Poster let me ask you, why did you assume the fault was yours. 🤣
I had 2 abortions before meeting my hubby. When we started courting and the talk of marriage started coming up i opened up about the abortions. He dint judge me at all, then he opened up too that his ex had 2 abortions for him too. We both cried to God for mercy before proceeding with the wedding. Imagine my guilt, fear, anguish etc when after one year no pregnancy. But to the glory of God I got pregnant on the month of our 1 year anniversary. We now have 3 kids, all boys.
DeleteFair enough
DeleteNice comment my Gee..
DeleteVery balanced and true,.
Some would come and tell you the guy would later use it to insult you, which kind nonsense excuse be that? Why are you involved with an immature guy in the first place? So you know he is not mature and you still want to marry him, you think he won't exhibit immaturity in other things bah..
Why am I wasting my time talking too much sef,. You're only hiding the secret cos you are pretending to be one innocent naive girl when you be Mama Di mama😏😏
@poster...
ReplyDeleteI am glad you found out.
My mum was in the same boat over 35 years years ago, but she didn't do these traditional things you speak off, and there was no violence/abuse. She just flew to multiple countries seeking medial intervention. Her ex hubby never came along, because he supposedly had 2 kids, so felt he wasn't the problem. The OB/GYNs on Harley Street knew my mum on first-name basis, because of how frequently she went there. After almost 10 years, she left. The real father of her former 'stepkids' came to collect his boys, and was a scandal.
She is now a mother of 2, so hopefully, if it hasn't already happened, you will have your kids too.
Hmm
DeleteNawa oh
Things are happening oh
Women have suffered.
So the man was shooting blanks and thought that he was a baba due to the ‘proof’ that he had.
Wonders shall never end
Mma Nwachukwu
I can imagine her pains.its not an easy thing ttcing in marriages bcos most inlaws can be fustrating.sometimes it's better female get pregnant before marriage so u don't waste so much time
ReplyDeleteGetting pregnant before marriage has turned some women to single moms. The man may develop cold feet and call off the engagement.
DeleteAlso, what happens if the woman loses the pregnancy or baby dies after birth and another one no enter? Yes it happens. The man and his family will now show her pepper.
We should try and marry men with good hearts.
A bad man is a bad man whether there are kids or not.
This advice na ebelebe
Delete@gifty, real ebelebe oh 😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteSee rubbish advise.
Marry people with a good heart and with conscience.
What if the baby dies and one can’t take in
Mma Nwachukwu
The heart of some humans sha
ReplyDeleteThank God you found out he is the problem not you.
ReplyDeleteSome men are wicked and evil 😈 knowing that he has sperms low count and allow you to be taking and drinking nonsense, what if your womb is damaged, heartless man with no human feelings...
May God visit you with someone else that has a good heart.
Gist not complete
Let's leave the evil man for now, it's probably his wicked ways that he's already suffering from, he is finished already.
ReplyDeleteHowever, abeg no dey go all those kind places for answers, even if you really had medical issues. You go just end up inviting more problems into your life. When you mess with the natural law, there are always consequences. You can't cheat nature.
Blessings
One woman I heard her story was even told to play a drum in the middle of the night before she can get pregnant.
DeleteI started wondering the relationship between playing drum and TTC.
Is she inviting evil spirit or children.
I have a friend that has 2 children, to even give birth to the children, her hubby has to be on drugs and the innocent woman will be monitoring him to make sure he does not drink.
ReplyDeleteThe man drinks himself to stupor, after the children, his sperm die Pata Pata that to revive them, he needs longer duration of treatment.
His family are now disturbing his wife for more children, because this man goes about bragging that he will pick another woman that the issue is his wife.
Before the two she had, she waka like the poster before a doctor asked her to bring her hubby.
Her hubby found a second wife , and was preparing for their marriage before this woman opened up to me.
I advised her not to keep quiet, she should threaten the man if he tries with the preparation he will expose his status to everyone that she has bore the shame for over a decade for him and this her reward.
Guy man now told family and friends, he no wan marry again, country hard, blah blah.
That thing that you advised her to say to the man, that threat could have had her killed you know? He could have killed her for threatening to tell the world that he is the one with fertility issues.
DeleteMust your friend die there?
Imagine the useless man she struggled to have kids with and even wanting to have more kids. Let her allow him marry the second wife for her safety. If his heart is already outside, he won't rest until he marries a second wife and he may silence your friend forever in order to be free to do so.
Let her tell him he is free to marry pls.
If she can't cope, let her leave in order to live and take care of her kids
I can never understand these men with weak sperm, very very mean set of people, the things there wives go through eh.
DeleteThey pour all their anger and frustration on their wives, very wicked men.
This story is so common
How do you threaten soneone not to marry another wife. The new wife is a symptom not the root of the problem. The problem is that the horseband has not one iota of love or care for you. How do people remain ahackles to their enemies?. Just imagine the toxic atmosphere in that home.
DeleteAunty will not leave. Nigerian women that value marriage. With correct begging, she go stay. Whatever you do, am so glad you found out. Take good care of yourself love, you have been through a lot.
ReplyDeleteLord Jesus christ, what did i just read.
ReplyDeletePoster i fainted with u, this is wickedness.
I will like to read the conclusion. Take heart dear poster
Pls poster come and complete your story ooo, wat happened next??
ReplyDeleteEvery morning I put Ttc's in my prayers coz I know wat they go through. My aunty tried and tried to conceive for more than 10 years, which church did she not go through, shes dead now, I cried ooo but I was happy she has gone to rest with the lord, very good woman. Wheres the husband now?? Husband has remarried with two children, he wasn't the cause of the childlesness but u see beating, emotionally unavailable, he was baba champion. His new wife is showing him shege now, she is oku né reré. Lolz
Try to conceive no b small matter
ReplyDeleteI no pray am.for my enemy
I hav one already n dey expect another one since
I kno how i am always worried wen my menses come
U go think of "do and undo"
So did you leave or did you continue to stay and get the beatings of your life? 🤷🏽♀️
ReplyDeleteLeft
DeleteHmmmm
ReplyDeleteEvil man from an evil family
OMEH
So sorry poster. Women always at the receiving end of this suffering. Pls will like to know the outcome of this . You will triumph in Jesus Mighty name.
ReplyDeleteSorry about all you had to go through in the hands of the people who should love you. My main concern now is why the man is still your husband instead of ex- husband. After all the beating and deceit? Please na help yourself
ReplyDeleteSuch wicked family, sorry you have to go through such
ReplyDeletePoster, hmmmmm. I felt your pain. Please leave that man. He's very wicked soul. Please move on with your life....
ReplyDeleteWicked husband and family
ReplyDeleteWhat a wicked family with a wicked husband.. sorry for all you went through,so what happened?? Did you leave the marriage? Come and complete the story pls
ReplyDeleteWicked man. Please come back and finish it. We are waiting
ReplyDeleteLooool see she’s still referring to him as the husband? Meaning she’s still there , suffering on top of I’m a Mrs!
ReplyDeleteFor me why endure physical, emotional and psychological abuse both from your husband and his family in your quest for a child and still stay in that marriage?
How do you have sex with a man who’s sleeping with women all over and still treat you like shit ?!
Nigerian women whyyyyyy? Why oo why ?
Is marriage your ticket to salvation?
It’s terrible, really terrible what you allow yourself to go through all in the name of marriage.
Lady MorgiannE
My case is really similar to yours. In my case, my husband followed me to the hospital but presented a fake fertility result from a fake test lab. He kept taking me to places and told people I had problems.I suffered in that marriage. I have since then remarried and have children. He is still jumping from pillar to post at 50 years old
ReplyDeleteI would advise women to leave an abusive marriage even if they are TTC. How can you have a child in such a union? The man does not love you, love transcends having kids. Some women have kids, both male and female yet their husbands treat them like trash. Why would you live your life like that?
DeleteImagine
DeletePoster if you want kids you better abort ship
I can't even begin to imagine the pains you have been through. God will see you through. Please take good care of yourself and put you first in everything. Love you dear
ReplyDeleteChai.. you saw something o. Shout-out to TTC women. It's not just easy
ReplyDeleteThis is so sad! Why are people are so wicked,the same thing happened to my friends aunt,she discovered after 10years that her husband was the cause,she left him immediately,she is in Philadelphia now,she has given birth for another man ,mind you,she was in her early forties when she gave birth 2 years ago
ReplyDeleteMy goodness, sorry for what you passed through🤗, pls kindly finish this story abeg.
ReplyDeleteQuestion.
ReplyDeleteIf IVF is strongly recommended for a couple because of the husband, but he is refusing to do it, the wife should leave the marriage?
Yes
DeleteShe should leave the marriage if she wants to have kids. If there are other options that the man agrees to like surrogacy, she can stay but if he does not support any of the options and wants to remain childless, she should leave him if she wants kids.
Poster sorry about what you passed through, leave that husband you deserve a better man.
ReplyDeleteMy wife claimed to be TTCing and i didnt know that she had surgery whilst she was in sec school. It took us 15years. She opened up after we chose surrogacy. BVs, always be truthful to your spouse cos i went through so much emotionally!
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of surgery?...a hysterectomy?. If so then You should have divorced her. That is too much to bear😭
DeleteHaaa🙆
ReplyDeleteTtc journey isn’t an easy one, I have been there before nd I knw d pains one pass through. Tank God after 2 years he heard my cries. I will surely give details of my story one day. All I pray for nw is a smooth pregnancy journey nd safe delivery.
ReplyDeleteIf at all you don’t do anything please help me call those his sisters on conference call and insult them well well. Drag and rag their name that’s all thank You
ReplyDeleteHmmmm things happen.......my concern now is, all those places you visited....hope it won't affect you in any way.
ReplyDeleteLord have mercy
ReplyDeleteWhy women remain in abusive marriages baffles me. Me that like my peace of mind. Consider it all joy when you don't have children with an abusive chraring husband and walk away! Haba!
ReplyDeleteMe too i wonder oooo. Why insist in having a child with someone who beats you.
DeleteHmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for all you went through poster. I respect women ttc'ing. It's not for the faint hearted.
ReplyDeleteI have two questions/observations
ReplyDelete- There is something very seriously wrong with the way we view the marriage institution if we can't talk to our partners and get them to do simple things for the betterment of the relationship e.g. go for fertility tests. When it's not a slave master relationship.
- Couples should discuss what alternatives they can take in cases of infertility before marriage so everyone is on the same page. I also had an aunt that looked for a child for over 18 years before she passed. Why don't people adopt children more? What is it that makes people subject themselves to torture if children don't come??? It's more of an open question not dissing anyone.