The Headline speaks for itself.....
Some people will never mind their business and have extended that behavior into other peoples relationship/marriage, right? Some of these pokenosers are very close friends, some are family members on your side or family members on your partners side right? Sometimes it is even the neighbor.
They tell how important it is to have boy child if its all girls, they tell him/her not to marry from the tribe of the person they are presently dating... They want to know how much you spend on food, clothes, if you give him/her any money. If you send money home to your folks and how much you should send...
The list goes on.....
How do you copy with such people if they are your family or in laws/in-laws to be? If it friends or neighbors, there are many ways to ignore them.
Some even tell you what styles to do on bed...LOL
This topic is real because sometimes these pokenosers end up breaking the relationship/marriage.
Lets gist!
Me that am TTC
ReplyDeleteWhat will I do
If I walk I believe people are talking about me. I avoid family gathering because the same people that attended our wedding expect you to be pregnant or have a baby.
A close relative his having is wedding he has done a lot for me.
Please how do I avoid side talks or mockery?
It’s not easy father please bless my womb
These people you're talking about may not even be talking about you, sometimes our minds play us a lot, and we tend to judge from stories we've heard.
DeleteFree your mind and enjoyment the moment, God will bless you with your heart's desires.
Mental block, or give them a resounding gbos for every gbas. Go to his wedding and be ready to chew anyone that chews you.
Delete🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
DeleteI see where you are coming from but you haven't reported an incident where any of these your fears came through. You are being held hostage by your own imagination instead of enjoying your marriage and life till your children come. Count your blessings and celebrate the life you're currently enjoying.
Please I want to ask an honest question to help me understand whenever people say and assume things like this; Please, who many TTCing people have you ever mocked or side talked? I don't believe anybody does because I have never been around people who mock or side talk a TTCing person in my life. So why do feel it's you they could be talking and laughing about?
DeleteKindly answer me, because I do not understand it when people write about this mockery thing all the time.
Nobody is talking about you. It's all in your mind. Who no get wahala?. Free yourself my love. If you born will he or she answer their name?. Enjoy this period. Attend as many party as you can because when the children start coming. You might have less time for yourself and parties. Make sure you wear sexy gown, dance very well in the parties. Na them go tire for your shakara and start begging God to give you children because your shakara don too much😅😅😅😅
DeleteThe only person you have an issue with for now is God. Face him. Hold him and never let him go till he answers you. Receive as many children as you want in Jesus name.
Let’s not lie. People do talk about ttc people even they don’t blame them
DeleteJust saying wow ah God I pray God gives you a child soon is talking about it and making the person uncomfortable
Keep your prayers for the person between you and God
My dear, I have been there. Was ttc for 4yrs before God blessed me. Dress up real good , put up a happy face and breath thru the party. Don't allow side talks steal your joy. You will be pregnant and give birth. Trust in God. I did same..I attend parties . E no get who no get problem. Them no dey carry am for face. Enjoy life.
DeletePlease go have fun at the event, smile at everyone of them, they might not even be bothered about you, enjoy yourself, God will grant your heart desires. Anen
DeleteThanks everyone
DeleteGod bless you
Ms saphire if I start mentioning cases were have been mocked
You will ask Stella to do a stand alone post for me.
In all I give God all the glory
Sapphire my problem with your comments is that you always think your point of view is the correct one...because you have not experienced it does not mean it does not happen. I was ttc for 9 years before I had twins and yes some people mock you to your face. I remember I was putting my name down for those wanting official quarters in my organisation then. A colleague saw it and said should that be my problem? Instead of me to go and be praying for a child na accomodation be my problem...I refused to answer him because if I had talked he would have never forgiven me after...I had a colleague who also asked someone to come borrow money from me because I did not have kids and my liabilities will not be plenty.. since then I stopped borrowing money cos I was one of the senior staff and one of the highest paid..
DeleteHere for the comment's.
ReplyDeleteThese pokenosers operate based on access or information you give them. If you are an open book, anyone can write gibberish on you.
ReplyDeleteNot true always
DeleteSome things can’t he hidden
If you’re TTC are the one telling them you ever born?
I don't have any of such people around me
ReplyDeleteMy aunty used to be a pokenoser to her daughter's marriage. Infact, she will be the one to buy everything foodstuffs for the house. Her excuse is that my cousin will not know original.
ReplyDeleteWhen, the man got tired of it, he just packed his things and went to stay in another of this house and left my cousin with her kids in a rented apartment. Thank God they are back together now.
I have them around me, I tried my possible best to keep martial problem away from them, but when you are married to a heartless man that puts his siblings and parents above you his wife, what would you do?
ReplyDeleteSicnce we got married, hubby has been talking divorce, using the fact that his parents and siblings told him not to get married to me to brag always.
Yes , I do get him mad by insulting him when we have issue, I am not proud of that and I always put conscious efforts to stop that, which he knows.
Yet, he always use what I said to him some years ago against me at any issue. He is full of unforgiveness, malice keeping and enjoy his company alone than with me.
Recently we had a big fight, I called his religious leader for settlement,they added fire, now our issue degenerated so bad that his family and Mine got involved. I had to make up with my family to get defense as he always says I don't have a family. story for another day.
This is the first time such a thing is happening. And these people, especially his family are ready to throw me under the bus. Well, him and them finally knows that I don't send them. Any how the marriage goes, it's fine by me.
Well, I'm not ashamed of what happened, we both brought out our issues to pokenosers so let them have a field day. But the good news is , no news trend forever.
Please single men, show your true bad characters before you marry someone's daughter so. that she will know what she is going into.
Now, I have to put up with this unforgiving, cunny, proud, malice keeping man. Anyway, I am making necessary adjustments cos what him too must collect for this marriage. Time will tell
God is your strength. Hand over everything to God and invite the holy spirit into your home. Each night before you sleep ask the holy spirit to direct your steps and calm every storm in your marriage. I command any man or woman, living or dead causing confusion in your marriage to get out now in the name of JESUS.
DeleteAnon 15:00, sorry for all you're going through. From your post, I can tell you're broken and a very problematic person.
DeleteYou are not on good terms with your inlaws, constantly insult your hubby and expect him to forget about it while you carry on with same pattern when issues come up again. You are not on good terms with your own family but only using them by making up with them to spite your hubby.
You're a narcissist and your relationships will be mostly toxic.
Please take responsibility for your actions rather than giving unsolicited advice to single men.
If you don't change, it won't be long before you prove your "ex" right, in your next relationship.
All the best.
Also ask single women to show their true character before marriage. Between men and women, I konw it is women who hide their true characters more before marriage. The ones that mask their bald head with wigs, the ones that hide/falsify their age, etc.
DeleteThank you @20:00. I wanted to comment fully before I saw your comment. Note also she wants her husband to collect in the marriage if I read right.
DeleteGod help us all.
Work on yourself madam.
DeleteHe is unforgiving, why do you always do things that are hard to forgive or forget.
There are some things you'll hear and the saying forgive and forget no go work easily.
If he keeps reminding you of things you did or said to him in the past while having another fight it means you have not changed and still talk anyhow.
May God help you.
Abeg no curse or abuse me o. Na God I take beg you.
No happy person pokes their nose into others lives. They need prayers.
ReplyDeleteExactly 👌
DeleteI dont have this kind of people around me oh stella.i dont give such space
ReplyDeleteIf you want make people no pokenose for your marriage in Nigeria, just move your family to an island you build in the middle of the Atlantic ocean. Until then, be ready for gossip
ReplyDeleteThat’s one benefit of living outside Nigeria
DeletePokenosers are those you allow to poke-nose. They are all around me but know/see nothing, absolutely nothing.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I keep it tight and intact. We've trained our kids so. We do not have friends or allow anyone to come
to scatter. We are pleasant to them from our distance. We are only accountable to Jesus Christ.
I have such people around me but I make concious effort not to allow them have their way in my relationship.
ReplyDeleteI am surrounded by many of them but I don't give a damn.
ReplyDeleteI always keep a straight face around the..
Most pokenosers completely have their lives heading north and south at the same time but they seek to resolve another person's wahala...funny.
ReplyDeleteI never give them chance,let them continue assuming from afar.
SDK, God bless you so much 4 this topic. I think God has used your platform to make me confirm my suspicions and not feel so alone or crazy in my assumptions as well as offer some comfort. b4 i say anything i want to add that pokenosers only have as much power as you give them in your mind or in your personal life. some mask as friends wanting 2 know ur relationship gist n i know when things are good u wanna talk but just try to limit. . I think that pokenosers are usually unhappy people from my own experience. They could be lonely, always off n on or if in a relationship, it is going sour and they want you to join in their misery. Gone are the days when we should be listening to relationship tips and advice from our close friends without first of all looking closely at that person's personal life.
ReplyDeleteif one minute they are in love and the next minute they are chopping breakfast then u may wanna exercise some wisdom in what you reveal to them. humans will be human n ur happiness may rub them wrong. also notice if they look happy when they notice u have slight issue with your romantic partner. even a slight excitement or smile or smirk can give them away. some people are not always gonna be happy 4 you. n they will not always reveal their envy. they will mask it under "wanting what is best 4 you" or " saving u from heartbreak"
Come on now, minding your own business is boring
ReplyDeleteThis poke nose issue actually cost me a friendship of 15 years.
DeleteI’m single as a dollar bill but my 2 very close friends come to me for relationship advice always in fact I’m their free therapist.
I never side my friends I always side their man/men because I’m a woman and I know what I’m like plus I know what my friends are like too especially when close to or on their cycle because I can’t lie me I’m a case when my cycle is close.
So one out of my friends was single like me and we don chop plenty breakfast anyway earlier this year she started talking to this guy and tbh his communication is not the best but I kept telling her it is early days so babe cool down for him abit and be patient.
So one day as usual she rang me straight up and said the guy had texted her in the morning that they should go dancing later that evening and that they were sha texting back and forth but he took hours to reply note this was a Saturday so the guy went to football around midday and didn’t reply her messages till about 5pm and said he is in A&E that he injured his ankle. But he still said he wanted to see her and go dancing still. So she was at her friends house as they went out all day. He texted her later and said he was on his way home from the hospital this was 7pm. So when they both got off the phone she fell asleep on her friends couch and woke up at 10pm and didn’t hear from him so she left her friend’s house to make her way home, on her way home she messaged him that she is disappointed and the guy must have called her back straight away apologising that he fell asleep and that he is sorry that he will make it up to her he promise.
This girl called my phone shouting that she thinks because he took a long time to reply her messages during the day she believe he didn’t want to see her. I told her babe no clam down he went football and was in A&E yet he still said he wanted to go dancing with an injured ankle. That I disagree hey members of bvn this girl started shouting at me and there is nothing she didn’t say. I started saying sorry to her and trying to cajole her calmly I ever re told the whole scenario to her like a man trying to sweet talk a woman. After I did this the next thing she did was say have you finished I said yes then she cut the call on me!!!! Hey God a whole me that was minding her business.
I sha didn’t call her back when e reach my bed time which was about 5 hours later I blocked her and her whole generation sharply.
Weeks later she went to meet my other friend and explained everything to her saying me I was comparing her and that she wasn’t trying to hear me then that my friend was laughing and said to her that *inserts my name* don’t fcuk with you anymore.
I now unblocked her and sent her a message that is it ment or malaria or is it both. That the level she disrespected me to is a level I don’t tolerate from Nobody don’t care if I have known you for 100 years and next time she wanna tell lies about why I cut her off she should get her facts right and also to save her apology for someone who cares then I blocked her back!
I could have easily made up with her but I think about the way she was really shouting at me and I think there is more to it that she must actually resent me deeply but can’t say it so it played out in this issue.
Now I no longer give relationship advice and I only have one female friend left lol if she fcuk up too she go chop blocking I don’t joke with my peace.
I’m singu and busy in my bag!
Hian! Well done o.
DeleteLol for your mind now.. you be badass . As per queen of blocking. Till today I don’t understand what this whole blocking as a form of power play is all about. Like so you blocked her .. then unblocked her to insult her.. then blocked her to prevent a comeback. 😄😄 E be like say you never ready for fights
Delete1. I feel you are not her friend if you can't take her rant. That was her moment and she needed to get some things off her mind.
Delete2. Blocking on the issue you discussed here looks childish to me.
3. I think you have ideas in your mind that she has things against. Release those ideas, it will only make you react when you are supposed to be calm.
4. Be careful not to turn yourself to queen of blocking because you are not an island.
5.Make up with her.Peace of mind can not be bought.You can start simply by texting or calling her.simple MY MADAM HOPE UR BODY AV COM DOWN can do alot
I have taken many of her rants but the have you finished and then cut the call on me is a level of disrespect I can never take especially from someone I’m trying to help! The shouting before she cut the call on me got me even wondering that were we fighting before the call that I wasn’t aware of because it was that bad!
DeleteYes I be blocking queen abeg no time for rubbish!
I wasn’t fighting her she was fighting herself I just told her off for telling lies to my other friend and she will stay blocked forever! She lied to my friend she called me back straight away when she didn’t!
In this UK I’m an Island o I no dey do female friends they are envious and jealous! I walk alone and I have peace make she chop the friendship!
1:26 you honestly dont sound6like someone anyone would want to be friends with, except violently forced.
DeleteUnfortunately, people like you have a bloated sense of self, never listen to correction and suffer from carefully masked inferiority issues.
Try to read the room.
I no even understand this write up at all.
DeleteAnima 02:27 your assumption is based on my narration of the story abi hahahaha
DeleteLet me school you, I’m the most humble human being that you will ever meet in your whole life. I don’t joke with helping the less privilege, bending over backwards to help anyone that needs my help, I’m a ride or die for my friends but as I grew up I realised that people are users and only want to suck you dry so I’m now wiser. Anyone that does rubbish and treats me like rubbish is getting blocked and having no access to me ever again for life.
So I should forgive her so that she can keep repeating it again and again abi because she knows I will keep forgiving. I live by people will only treat you the way you let them.
This will be a lesson to her going forward. This same girl every year doesn’t talk to her mum for over 6 months and she will never ever listen if you tell her to reconcile with her month.
Anon 02:27 you’re delusional and assumption is the lowest form of human reasoning
Delete