Remember the Chronicle of the lady who did nothing when her hubby cheated and even advised the Nanny turned side chick to start cooking for him? This is an update!
Stella, this is an update: truly he wasn't granted bail that weekend. He was released on Monday.
His whole family came down to know why their brother was arrested. He narrated what happened, he left nothing out. They heaped all manner of abuses on him, he knelt down and cried and asked me and his fam to forgive and to ask the girl not to file charges. His mother told him to leave me out of the mess, his brother said he won't be involved anymore that he is embarrassed on his behalf.
After they left, he really begged that I talk to the girl to settle out of court. So, I called her and requested for her police cuz number, she gave me and started apologising for all that happened.
I didn't wanna engage her in any talk at all, So I dropped the call mid sentence. I called her police cuz, and told him about the out of court settlement, he said he will speak to his niece and get back to us.
Didn't take 2 days, he called me and said they've agreed and my husband should pay in millions, not many millions Sha. They picked next week end again.
This girl came with her mother to apologize, I granted them audience but I didn't say nil, they did all the talking, I only nodded as they left.
I am not cold blooded, experience made me not to put anyone before me. If I sense trouble, I lock up and ignore the catalyst 100%.
I work for myself as a full stacker, so come rain or shine, I can hold my forte well. Husband knows me like that since dating days, he knows I won't react to anything he does and has accepted me that way.
The only thing I can react to is, if it involves my kids coz I really TTCed before I got them via medical help. There is nothing to forgive because I am not hurt, it's his life and his body, I cannot have sleeplessness over what I cannot control. He asked me if I'm not angry, I asked him if I was the one that slept in jail, na me mosquito bite?
So he said he cannot face the girl's people to do the settlement, I agreed to do it. He has signed the cheque and I asked for mediator's fee dude said na money go kill me oga sent my fee. When they come, I will assume my muteness and give them the cheque. Unto the next fuckup coz as human, he will still fall, except he has developed new sense. Phewwwww what a long update.
We move!
WOW, settled and moved on while some would have said they cant deal and moved out... I love how you handled this....
Good one, your type is rear .
ReplyDelete"Rare" my friend! #inmymothersscoldingviice#
DeleteIf you actually believe this story is 100% genuine, I have an international airport in Abagan, Anambra State to sell to you.
DeleteThough I didn't read the former chronicle, this followup raised some red flags. Honestly, I doubt the sincere love & commitment of both couple since they married each other or met. I read comments and I can't believe how y'all bought this story hook line and sinker.. Lastly, there's no eternal message in this story for any virtuous woman..Virtuous Woman: Who can find a virtuous woman????? For her price is far above rubies. This is a TRANSACTIONAL MARRIAGE...
If you are a virtuous woman, I advice you to qualify your relationship properly before marriage, and ensure that you're yolked properly with a man that puts God 1st in EVERYTHING. You must qualify his relationship with his parents. Are they God fearing, especially his Dad or any authority figure that he respect highly. If done properly, you will end up with a man that gives you PEACE OF MIND. In sum, no lady should be thinking about their husband cheating nor learning skill in case their partner cheats..etc....This story is nothing to brag about... This is not GOALS.. However, if you're not a virtuous woman, you can learn the skills from this chronicles story. I wish you good luck ahead in your marriage.
He'll probably fall again, not necessarily cos he wants to, but because he's married to an emotionless stone of a wife.
DeleteThe earlier people realise that cheating, as wrong as it is, is a reaction/an attempt to fill a hole (pun intended), the better people will be positioned to deal with it.
Story
DeleteAnon 17:32. Dey there o you hear. They quote virtuous woman upandan. Do you know how many women hav died all in the name of virtuous woman The story is similar to what happened to my cousin. Bottom line is no human being shld be responsibl for your hsppiness. The story is 100percenr true
DeleteAnon 17:32 clapping my hands to your comment 👏🏾 You’ve said it all. Thank you.
DeletePlease link the original chronical
DeleteWow ! This lady is so wise and matured
ReplyDeleteNothing wise about that. This is all she knows. This is how she copes. The only downside is that people like this build their life around their kids , spoil them rotten and give their kids spouses a real tough time. I hope not for you poster. I wish you plenty love and light.
Delete@17:39 poster sounds so cold and emotionless. I would hate to marry her type honestly. The man is probably looking for love and attention who knows. It’s like dealing with a cold fish of a wife everyday. If I were the man, I would move the hell on because things won’t be the same ever again between us.
DeleteIt is not about being cold hearted she love her peace of mind. She knows men we likely stray so she was well prepared for marriage.
Delete@20.55... exactly
DeleteYemi, trust me she doesn’t have that peace of mind like you think she does. She has completely numbed her emotions towards this man. This is not marriage. She needs to leave for her peace of mind she’s looking for and just focus on her kids!
DeleteForget the man looking for love and attention. I gave my hubby love and attention and he did almost the same thing to me. Leave matter alone. Some men are just bad. Let the woman react how she feels abeg
DeleteA cheat will always be a cheat. You will pour everything into them and come up empty. Take that to the bank. He is a big part of the reason poster is cold. If he loved her right he would have thawed her heart long ago.
DeleteSmiles#I love your vibe...what I can deduce from your chronicles is that you are doing well for yourself and your husband wouldn't want to loose you even though he disrespect you.I hope he stops cheating on you.All the best in your family!
ReplyDeleteIt's true that anything you focus on, persists. But whatever you ignore, fades away. Good that you were able to hold yourself together. Nonetheless, it is not easy at all to not react when things are going badly but the kind of self confidence and strength it gives you is unmatched. That's probably why you are self-sufficient and non-reactive as you said. Reacting gives another person too much power over you. And you will be thinking ur doing something, proving to be someone that takes no nonsense, meanwhile it is the other person that has you eating out from the palms of their hands.
ReplyDeleteI won't tell you to leave or stay. I won't tell you that what you have done is good or bad. Noone has the right to tell you that because at the end of the day, NONE of us have the answers and NONE of us are perfect. we all have our weaknesses and vulnerable moments. it is how u choose to perceive things and react that matters. not anyone else's advice, or disapproval
Wao. I love your maturity. You also handled the issue well. I wish I am like you. I would have moved out a long time ago and let karma deal with them.
ReplyDeleteStella, not everyone has that kind of heart to be passive when confronted with such ish. Though I must applaud the poster for her high emotional intelligence. Good you handled it as u wanted it,pray the man changes. For me, cheating is a deal breaker and I may forgive when the person shows genuine remorse but the trust will be ebbing away.
ReplyDeleteTo live long and peaceful, trust no one. I don’t even trust myself
DeleteCheating esp when continuous is a deal breaker for me too. Thank you Stella and Poster for the update. I was really curious.
DeleteBadass mama. Weldone. I had a good laugh.
ReplyDeleteThe maid and her family are greedy people. Apologising and still asking for settlement. If they are truly contrite, it's to move ahead and forget about the settlement if only for the discomfort they caused the lady in her home. Woooo, na Una know ooo. Mrs Iron lady, enjoy the hailings from your faceless blog visitors.
ReplyDelete😗@ the last sentence
DeleteI wondered about that too. A settlement of millions. Did he promise her marriage or what? What kind of apology is that? Na dem sabi.
DeleteThis is the exact reason I don’t believe this story… pay in millions? Where? In Nigeria? As who? Babangida’s daughter?! Issalie jare! Except your husband is a governorship aspirant and doesn’t want this to get out. And we all know that in Nigeria, that will give him more leverage sef!
DeleteSo, bottom line… stories that didn’t happen for $2
I just love the way you handled it.
ReplyDeleteI'm just smiling here. It's better this way.
ReplyDeleteBefore giving out the cheque
ReplyDeleteGet a Lawyer to draft an Agreement or they will be back
Exactly
DeleteThats my fear.....such greedy wicked ppl will keep coming back.
DeleteYou are the real indasbosky,the way you handled the whole matter with maturity need to be studied,madam you did well.i hope he change for the better
ReplyDeletePoster please can we be friends
ReplyDeleteNope! Beg-friend
DeleteYou don’t want this type of friend o hmmm
DeleteAs good as this Chronicle sounds err, I won't advise anyone to try this at home if you will still sleep with the husband. Look STI and STDs are not jokes and no one should be this chilled and contract something they have not bargained for.
ReplyDeleteI disagree that this is emotional intelligence. Poster is numb, probably because she's seen worse scenarios in life. Poster please with all due respect both you and your husband need therapy.
Thank God i am not the only one that saw a different side of the story the husband will only be more discrete next time, hiv is real and the victim is always the ones who die first for reasons i don't know, maid even bill your husband and una write cheque 😂
DeleteLike she is emotionally and physically numb right, I think so too. Poster does that mean no s$x for you from him again abi how.
DeleteIt's like your eyes have seen sege in that your marriage to have felt and acted this way
Poster seems like someone who has experienced alot of trauma in life. So this doesn't move her. People like this can be very difficult to cope with. They would react in unrelated scenarios because they were trying to be "emotionally intelligent" in one scenario 😃
DeleteShe can’t kill herself Abeg
DeleteWow,I love your strength and maturity,I hope he learnt his lessons..
ReplyDeleteYour kind is rare honestly,i love the maturity
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly me! I anticipate your fuck up, so I’m never broken when it happens. I’m just that stoned. I seriously don’t know how to react to pain, I just say “that’s it? And move on. Most especially for people you know can never change, such don’t disappoint me anymore. It is what it is
ReplyDeleteCan anyone post the link to the original chronicle?
ReplyDeleteWow wow wow *ambulance mood activated *
ReplyDeleteOMEH
😂 😂 😂 😂 Na the housegal enjoy las las
Delete19:04
DeleteThank you. Those of us who always see them as the victims should note.
However, the Poster enabled them all the way for her own revenge, which she capped by collecting mediation fee for.
Maybe Poster's good deeds towards the woman house keeper saved the poster and her children from the claws of the woman
Lol enabled them what was she supposed to do,if she had cried out they would have probably moved to a hotel or he would have rented an apartment and be plotting her death,what she did is the most realistic thing to do she used logic instead of emotions which saved her from a lot of heartache.
DeleteA round of applause for you sis,you are a strong woman.
ReplyDeleteMAke some one helep us with previous link to this chronicle naaa, please
ReplyDeleteThis woman right here is the real MVP...i got a thing or two to learn from her. 👍
ReplyDeleteIf this is how love works between two parties, I rather be a certified loner till my last breath.
ReplyDeleteStone cold × cassanona
Goodluck ma!!!
Hahaha. This woman is something else ooo
DeleteYou and me both. When I no be stone cold Steve Austin. But in actual fact their combination will work because Stone Cold will just look away whenever Casanova activates.
DeleteNo love in this one bro… too bad.
DeleteTrue @ 19:22
DeleteMr. Wife - I am a responsible man. See I am married
AND
Mrs. Husband - I am living under the roof of a man in marriage.
No more no less.
Oh wow, you handled this well. Let him wallow in his self pity alone. Let the whole act continue to bite him very well. Roaming dick.
ReplyDeleteI love your sense of maturity.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2022/07/chronicle-of-blog-visitor-narrative_01129952952.html?m=1
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteI don't wish to be in your shoes poster. I can't imagine the STDs you treat every now and then. What about HIV/AIDS? When last have you gone for HIV test?
ReplyDeletePity your little children and go for test biko.
#canneverbeme
I admire your strength and how you dealt with this issue.
ReplyDeleteYou've a thick skin indeed
ReplyDeleteI don’t know but there’s something really off about this story. Suppression of human emotions is really not the best way to go about circumstances. I see a person who has developed an unhealthy coping mechanism as result of some events that may have really negatively impacted her life in the past.
ReplyDeleteLeaving a woman having an affair with your husband in the same space as your children is not a very protective act for them and for your self. You know yourself and can vouch for your self but not the intentions of that nanny.
Don’t you have sex with your husband? Or did you shut down that need too as a coping mechanism? Survival and need for love and respect especially in our intimate relationship is a basic human need. A lack of that signals something has definitely gone wrong.
Nothing to applaud here nor inspiring
I hope you eventually get the psychological help you need. Seems there’s a deeper issue here.
Thank you!!! Very well articulated.
DeleteGod bless you, i can see women up there cheering her which makes no sense to me, i like her courage but this her update is not updating at all. This is how men get away with a lot.
DeleteMy sentiments too. How can you allow that in your house ? What if she had poisoned you or the kids?
DeleteThank you wise one. I was one of those who applauded her initially but not anymore now. This 'coldness' isn't normal and it goes beyond what she's written up there. I guess she's not capable of loving the man genuinely either. Anyways, she told us her reason, if it's all good by her, it's all good by us.
DeleteBut if this man isn't abusive do you think she should move out? This is a dicey situation really
DeleteExactly @yvonne, if she had left the marriage I would have hailed her as an indabadosky but this kind of numbness is not healthy or to be given an applause! Why still staying with such a man who can give her HIV if she really don't care what the society or people around her wil say? Something is not adding up.
DeleteShe can have sex with condom just as would with a new lover.
DeleteGuys chill. From the two chronicles, it can be safely inferred the Poster stopped intimacy with her husband as soon as she confirmed what was on in her home. Some facts are allowed to be inferred. Even the courts inferred unstated facts from stated facts.
DeleteWhen you infer it doesn't make it a fact so chill. You could also be wrong.
DeleteWhen I said she should support her husband since he begged for it, some people here wanted to eat me raw. Many people know how to give advise when they are not the one in the situation, these are the same people that will act differently from what they say. She's the one in the relationship and knows whats best for her. Madam you have done well, continue to live your life just the way it pleases you.
ReplyDeleteI remember sharing this chronicle with my sisters and friends, poster your type is rare and i learnt a thing or two from it. Thank God you gave your marriage a second chance and i also wish your hubby has learnt his lessons and zipped up
ReplyDeleteDoes a 🦓 change it's stripes?
DeleteHmmm
ReplyDeleteNice,u are a great person
Your type when they react can kill oo
ReplyDeleteTrue, All the buried emotions erupt.
DeleteThis
DeleteZactly. Please at least see a shrink poster. You are putting up with too much.
DeleteThe marriage is toxic. This is not marriage at all. All emotions gone.
DeletePoter, please make peace with yourself and your husband. You need it...
This!!!!
DeleteYou are indeed a wise person
ReplyDeleteWill men ever learn. Almost the same thing happening to Armstrong the aactor. Where I was, I heard gist. That, the late, wife brought in a little girl to help around in the house, oga started sleeping with the small girl of about 12 years, wife knew and even reported to their pastor, pastor beg oga to return baby girl, oga refused oh, said he is in love with the minor. Wife traveled, on her way back, died. Oga even put small girl for her obituary. Reason why the wife church refused to bury the wife
ReplyDeleteAfter wife burial, oga turn baby girl into full time wifey, shouting adopted daughter for outsiders. Girl turn 20,get boyfriend, oga vex, throw tantrum. Girl vex told some people. She vex go police go report. Heard she even went to withdraw the matter, they said no, that it is a national matter now. He is in prison. You see karma ehhhh. It dealt with that man for doing that to the wife and that small girl
Wow
DeleteThis is so horrible. What lack of self control, greed and an immoral life will cause.
DeleteHere comes the update we have all been waiting for. Madam you really have strong confidence, you are also smart and intelligent. Kudos to you
ReplyDeleteYour type is rare yen yen yen. Sis, you aren't tied to that marriage na. What you gaining there? Mrs title? Well if you ain't sleeping with him anymore, then that's okay. You just like friends/housemates, but if you still intimate, then he's using you. Breakfree today my dear.
ReplyDeleteI know a friend who moved to UK, her husband didn't move with her. Guess what, when he visits, my friend doesn't allow him touch her, she said for 3 years, he hasn't been intimate with her cos he disgusts her. Just coparent and go back to naija pls, before he infects her with sti. That's a stand I wish I took. Mine gave me a smelly pussy for 3 years, while we were still patching patching, but ofcourse he was sleeping with strange women. Cheating for me should be a deal breaker. We can coparent while living together o, but intimacy, romance, love is out of the window the moment you go outside. Our family should come first, you can't even do distance marriage. That's not for me sef.
This!
DeleteWordddd cheating is a deal breaker for me. It takes away trust, you’re having sex with him and deep down you know other women are sharing his di*k and also spreading their legs for him. I can’t biko. I just can’t.
DeleteCalm down now, you think every woman is dumb? This poster would never be intimate with her "husband" na.
DeletePoster you are a Strong Woman, i hope your husband change for good.
ReplyDeletePoster you have mine oh, I wish I can be like you at the part you sis nothing disturbs your life at all. Is good you have this kind of mind set with this no one will play with your emotions.
ReplyDeleteYou can stand any cheating without getting hurt. No one will give your sleepless night at all cost.
No forget to document the settlement; include say the girl should not come.anyehere near Ur family. Longer throat and greed can cause wahala
ReplyDeleteDont worry, she would mediate again and collect her fee from her husband for that.
DeleteSo much love your way of life
ReplyDeleteThree cheers 🥂🥂🥂🥂
The truth is that when people gather together to do evil: it NEVER lasts. When you see the end of evil convergence, then you would not react whenever you see such things. You would focus on getting reward for your good. Sometimes we react because we don't understand that their punishment is ahead.
ReplyDeleteA few years ago, I introduced my flatmate to a guy I was dating. She needed assistance for job. Long story short, they started dating. I tried to have a mature conversation with her, when I found out. She denied it and and tried to gaslight me - even with my facts. Then the next day, she tried to apologize and blame me in the process; subtly accusing me of being jealous of her - because the guy is rich.
The guy too told her nasty things about me. Made her feel like she was a better option and she started to feel special. I was so hurt and angry and humiliated. I let it go. He paid for her to do masters abroad, too and she left Nigeria feeling like a brand new chicken.
Guess what?
1. She didn't finish that masters. She had serious mental health issues all of a sudden and started failing her exams and re-sits. This is someone who I lived with and she was okay only God knows where mental health issues came from.
2. The guy left her when the issues became too much.
3. I relocated to the same country for my masters, by God's grace. I finished and got a dream job in the capital city with a multinational organisation immediately after studies. They sponsored my resident visa too.
4. As usual with such people, she tried reaching out to me via email (blocked her on othet ends) I warned her to stay away. She must be really sick in the head to think I would befriend her again.
5. The guy married and his wife died. He lost his job too. All these within a space of 4 years oh.
When I saw how things happened I asked myself: what was I even angry about? A counsel of fools will never last. So this poster has done the wise thing by being unresponsive. Just ensure you don't lose your job because that one wey you marry no be husband, madam. Lol
You case is different.
DeleteYou left them alone. Poster remained in the marriage waiting for her husband to tell her to go. If he had done so, and based on what we now know, she would have asked for a pound of flesh plus all blood in it from the man.
I read the chronicle first time and the update. As a man, I felt Poster was on the right track until I read where she negotiated in "millions" for a woman who knowingly slept with her husband and taunted her with it, and whose mother was already begging for her daughter's waywardness. On top of it all, Poster collected mediation fee from her husband. That was where the light shone through. The man should thank God the poster did not do more.
Your case is different please.
I wish you all the best man,may God strengthen you,I like how you handled the situation
ReplyDeleteNna eh.
ReplyDeleteMtchewwww
ReplyDeletePoster I remembered you said her cousin is a police man. Pls record everything and keep safely. Police people are not to be trusted, most of them are greedy and criminal minded. He would push his cousin to blackmail you guys or try to set you or hubby up in order to collect more milions. Also be very careful in all your endeavors henceforth. May we not marry a man that will put us in trouble.
ReplyDeleteAmen
DeleteDid you read where Poster wrote say she sef collect fee for arranging the settlement. If the police man comes back, more fee for poster abi?
DeleteI love and admire your strength and courage honestly and I learnt from your story. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteLink to the first story please
ReplyDeleteWhat I want to know is what the husband's offence was to warrant millions in out of court settlement?
ReplyDeleteAssault.
Delete@20:40 and 09:07
DeleteThe offence:
Husband was sleeping with Poster's maid whose life poster had planned to better. So husband had to pay for the betterment of the maid's life.
Why the millions:
Poster got paid for helping husband do what she had planned to do. As generally known, the higher a negotiated settlement, the higher the negotiator's fee. In all, Poster got two birds with one stone.
Strange things abound indeed.
Note:
The husband's infidelity is not hereby supported in any way.
Hello poster,Please is this your coping strategy because you come across as numb. It may a be way to cope from childhood or some event and has grown with you. I fear for the day you let loose if it is a coping strategy...
ReplyDeleteI wish I could be like you. You handled it like a queen. GOD bless you
ReplyDeleteWhich Queen, you should be war of this poster...
DeleteAs we hail or nail the Poster, let us consider some other vital facts of this chronicle and its update.
ReplyDeleteBut first, I am a male. So all allegations against me of bias, etc. are allowed. Lets go.
1. There are good families. Not all families condone the waywardness of their sons.
2. Not all house helps are victims in s@xual relations with their employers. Any person 21 years and above so employed cannot claim to be victim where s@xually involved with an employer. Even some under 21 cannot claim victim. The Almighty God knows what some under 21 are capable of. It is just that the law says person of certain age cannot give legitimate consent to certain acts or do certain acts. The House help in this case was wiser than the man and is as wise if not wiser than the poster. Her initial report to the poster appears to be water testing. Seeing that poster was McCoy about it, she went on.
3. Not all marriages are based on love. Some marriages are transactional. When one party has gotten all he or she needs in the transaction, the unsatisfied party had better sit up or create a new need by the satisfied party. Otherwise, the unsatisfied party is on a long trip. In such case, it may be better to renegotiate, call time, or quit than to cheat. It seems that poster has gotten all she NEEDED from her marriage. Of course she has wants. But...
4. The Poster is not unemotional as claimed. Is she calculating? Maybe. Or of steel nerves? Maybe. Her actions after knowledge of the betrayal are decided steps by a pained person. Her actions after the fight and fall of her husband are vengeful, spiteful and aimed as punishment for her husband. The type of pain and vengence shown by poster are emotional reactions, which mercifully (though with some risks) she channeled to her benefit. It is already said the type of risk and action taken by poster should not be emulated by the faint hearted. If the house help had done worse, would the poster have taken it in her stride or do more than the house help?
4. The action of the house help and her family has been described as greedy. Lets add wicked. No, please add scamming instead. So men here is another scam act to guard against.
5. The house help got away because of the goodness of the man's family, the assistance of his wife, and there is money to be shared by the help and poster. We should not encourage any wayward house keeper to emulate this one here. With some other man and family, the story may have been different for the house help and even for the poster.
6. The main lesson in the chronicle is that adultery is not the solution to any lack in a marriage. Without admitting it, the poster's marriage appear's dysfunctional and cold blooded. But cheating on the poster is not the cure. The man should have sought a cold blooded negotiated exit.
As said, maybe I am biased.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽I enjoyed your analysis.
DeleteThey’ll be back for more. Do not let middle man claim the money . Chat her up on WhatsApp don’t go straight to the point at first tell her not to mind your husband she should please forgive him and you too. Then tell her to come and take the check that it is ready if possible screenshot and send it to her keep all this as evidence. Then call her mother chat with mama laugh apologize get emotional record everything send tell her you’ll send her money to buy whatever she likes, tell her you love her daughter and will always do tell her the check of so so so millions has been signed. Keep all this information not because your husband deserves it but For your kids. All the best ma
ReplyDeletePoster, I'm amazed at your strength. Do you, the world will adjust. Thanks for the update.
ReplyDeleteI honestly thought marriage was based on love. I didn't see where u mentioned loving this man in the beginning. I would have applauded u if u developed this thick skin after an incidence not before. Clearly u aren't built for love and companionship so do yourself and him a favour and leave to just coparent. Being emotionally unavailable in a union is not something to applaud. If ur hubby is a good man that only sought the care, love and companionship that u deny him then trust me it's too early to think u had the last laugh. Everyone deserves happiness. Find yours' and allow him find his'
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, the poster wrote in her main chronicle that her husband is a provider and generally a good person but a serial cheat. Poster said she is financially okay and ready to leave the marriage if asked by her husband. She is obviously happy there on her own terms and as shown by all her actions in the chronicle. She is getting what she needs from the marriage - the ring, Mrs. title, an acknowleged father of her children, etc. Happiness is relative.
DeleteSurely, for better or for worse, the Poster's marriage will not be the same again.
The good in it for her is that she is prepared based on all said.
The number of people applauding the poster, as a strong woman is concerning. What part of the chronicle did they miss? She said “he does not maltreat me, just that he cheats”. Cheating is serious emotional abuse. The poster also indirectly gave her actual reason for staying in such an emotionally vacant relationship when she said “it’s my husband’s house, I’m not leaving unless he asks me to”. I’m not blaming her but there is nothing to praise either.
ReplyDeleteCheating is the among the worst form of maltreatment in a marriage after domestic violence. Describing it as “just cheats” is deep. While she indicated she is financially ok, it would appear that there is no husband-wife emotional connection but a transactional one where she continued staying while going through the trauma/pain of TTCing maybe to use him as a sperm donor since she realized he lacked moral character. Her statement indicates she may have put up with cheating from him in the past & she has detached from him emotionally.
Spouses snap when they continually live under situations in which they have had to deny or suppress their real emotions to accommodate an abusive spouse (cheating IS abuse & disrespect). I have been married for 28 years & I would not advice any woman to follow this example. Contrary to many comments, the outcome could have turned out very fatal in so many ways. We read about maids who murder children even when they are not sharing the man. Was her stoic nature worth the potential risk to her children if this maid had been that type of person?
Is she putting up with cheating for accommodation as she clearly has zero feelings for this man. Is the poster getting her emotional needs met “outside” too? Is there a reason other than her Twins & her desire to live in “his house” as “Mrs” behind the way she handled this situation?
1. I would personally hire an older woman as maid or nanny, not a 20 - 25 year old in her prime as a live-in. “Flee from every appearance of evil”, I doubt many newly married guys will hire a “Bolanle Nino” or “young RMD” as driver for their wives. Macaroni has skits that parody this situation with “mummy wa” online.
2. As an employer in the West, the moment the maid first “reported” sexual harassment by her employer to the hiring manager (the poster), & she did NOTHING she became an enabler. In a different setting, if the maid were to sue, they are both liable one way or another . There was a recent story about a couple jailed for the killing of the maid by the wife, I think the husband was an enabler or accomplice like many such situations.
3. Her cold blooded narration of the situation shows an emotionally “damaged” woman. Was it this emotionally abusive (cheating) husband or some other life trauma that caused her emotional damage? . Either way she could become like Clara Harris, the Mercedes’ killer (Google the story), who snapped & ran over her husband multiple times the parking lot of a Hilton with his daughter in the passenger seat. She escaped the death penalty & just became free after 15 years in a TX jail. Her story detailed a clinically cold way of tackling a cheating guy until she snapped. Her twins grew up without her for the 15 yrs, aware she killed their dad.
Be careful what you applaud as “strong”. Poster & her husband need therapy or separation, there is no love, only titles & housing.,
What a coincidence that the Clara Harris murder happened exactly 20 years ago (July 24 2002).
DeletePoster please take heed.
Poster, Stella and beevees thank you all. I have learnt a lot from all the perspectives.
ReplyDelete