Hmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ABAKILIKI MEN?
Hello Stella,
I am 31 years old and my man is 37. He has been such a good man to me. I prayed for the kind of husband I want and he is better than I even prayed for. He is the first man that has agreed to abstain from s#x till marriage, without trying to cajole me or lure me into it. He is not a Catholic but because he has seen the extent of my love for Mother Mary, he has joined me in praying Rosary every night(we pray on the phone when we are apart)...He even looks forward to it.
He takes care of all my needs/ wants, right from the moment I met him. He is not wealthy yet, but he is doing alot already. And not just for me, even for people around me.
There is one of my colleague who is a widow, I like buying her things that I think might fit her when I'm shopping online. My Baby usually pays for my things and anything I'm getting for my colleague. He will even ask me to call her and confirm if it's truly her size before we order. It's not like he has a truckload of money o. But he is not lazy, he makes men clothes, works for a tech company, he's also a consultant, writes for people too.
He is even teaching me some things online so I can be smarter and make more money(not yahoo please). I spend every weekend and holidays in his house but he treats me like a visitor anytime I visit. Washes my clothes in the washing machine including my undies. Ask me what he will prepare for me before I come or just surprise me by making one of my favourite dish, washes the bathroom too so I don't feel uncomfortable. I know his ATM PIN, all his phones passwords and even the laptops too.
I actually know he's not hiding anything from me. I don't even have to question his love for me, I feel at peace. Anytime I'm sick, he takes excuse from work to close on time and come and take care of me at home. Or he will ask for 4 days off-work that week. Cos he goes to work 3 times a week, he can do most of his work online.
The problem now is that my parents don't like his state of origin. He's from Abakaliki in Ebonyi state.
Since I told my Mum, she has been crying. My parents have always said they want me to marry an Igbo man, so I didn't see any issue in building a relationship with him. Now my Mum is saying it's better for me to even marry a non-speaking Igbo than to marry an Abakaliki man.
I even had to remind her that I dated an Enugu guy that stole my money. That all tribes have bad people. She said that Enugu guy is just one out of many. So I asked her why she can't believe that my Baby is one good guy out of all the "bad" ones in Abakaliki. She started begging me to please listen to her that Abakaliki People are wicked and he will show me shege later in the marriage(God forbid).
She has been begging me and crying, making it look as if I'm about falling into a big and deep hole.
My Baby has even said he won't give up on us. That he is ready to wait till my parents change their mind. So we are praying about it.
But please what is so bad about Abakaliki People, because my Mum is really acting somehow about the whole thing. She said she can't watch me enter a place that is full of wicked people who can kill me. What do you guys advise me to do in this situation?
Thank you Stella.
I have heard this same thing about this tribe but i want to believe it is a few that gave them such a bad name....
Let me also read comments......
But wait oh, your guy sounds too nice to be true for a Naija man, he's got to be pretending! (Nobody should come for me for saying this oh)
Lemme read the comments. Good afternoon
ReplyDeletePoster, Abakaliki people have archaic tradition and mindset. Their tradition is weird and totally unbelievable. They lack mental and social development. They have taboos too.
DeleteAsk your guy their own taboos and find out if you can cope. They are very backward.
Although he might be one out of millions.
I have heard about abakiliki people but no tribe is free of bad people.
DeleteYou are mature enough to make wise decisions that will benefit you, tell her you have made your decisions and she should trust your judgement… mothers know how to play that crying blackmail a lot.
Do you still live under your parents roof, or they still pay your rent or fees? If so try and get financially independent, when you are it actually reduces a lot of control.
You are grown grown so I don’t see what her fears are, if it doesn’t work out it won’t be the end of the world either.
Don’t miss your God ordained husband because of tribe
Push up (original)
Poster, do you know if you marry the man, your mother might subtly wish things don't work out for you to say "I told you"! You're the one marrying and staying married, not your mom. You find him worthy, go ahead. She can't fence you forever so far he stays true to all you wrote. Go ahead.
DeleteBest wishes.
DeleteNever ignore parents warning. Your choice though eventually. Cheers
DeleteI dont know what to tell you but Abakaliki people, at least most of them are wicked, as in very wicked. I've had interactions with some of them and they will even tell you that their people are wicked.
DeleteI rejected marriage proposal from 2 Abakalili people. It's better we remain friends than I marry them cos I don't have the strength to shout.
Stella, he might not be pretending. Some guys are like that. My husband packs and washes my clothes/ undies in the washing machine. Sometimes he cooks before I get home cos he is his own boss. 23 years and still the same person. He will tell you his mum taught him all these and he enjoys doing it.
ReplyDeleteWow.
DeleteGod bless your marriage.
DeleteYour hubby is a good man
DeleteWow,You are truly blessed
DeleteNne you hit the jackpot. Enjoy
DeleteSame here!
DeleteHe does laundry, cooks most Sundays and does childcare once he gets home to relieve me. When he’s off work, he only brings baby for feeding. There are still good men!
All these parents sef..madam you better go for what is right for you, it would be YOUR marriage and not your mum’s!! If eventually it didn’t work out, you can always file for divorce.
15:09 you are blessed.
DeletePoster your guy sounds too good to be true. But I tell you if I have your type of guy imma keep him 😄. Those qualities and things you mentioned about him are not common. Tell your mum to get to know him, in short, introduce him to your parents. and you both keep praying. All will be well by God's grace.
My husband does laundry, baths the children everyday, go out with the children to play..only thing he doesn’t like doing is washing the dishes. There are lots of good niaja men.
DeleteThere are no specific good or bad people anywhere.One thing i know about that tribe is their timidity,but your man seem woke.
ReplyDeletePoster,Continue giving your mom reasons to trust your man,She will come around.
I had 2 secondary school class mates from abakaliki and they are anything but timid!!
DeletePeople just throw their hasty generalisations around when they want to make a case for themselves.
Dainty,You're using just two classmates to counter what I'm sure of.
DeleteThose people never want to leave the shores of their home town,they despise exposure to the very last.Just a handful of them made it out.
You are talking of abakaliki of 1969-80s. Go there now and see things for yourself. Most are exposed.
DeleteI also hear a lot about Abakaliki and Mbaise people. Let me wait for comments
ReplyDeleteIt is widely believed in igboland that Abakaliki people are wicked and violent. Even in the East, especially in Anambra,whenever a person behaves in a stupid or odd way,they say that person must be Nwa Abakaliki. I personally think it is as a result of certain stories that happened during the war.
ReplyDeleteAnambra parents simply do not want their children to marry from outside Anambra, they will find every excuse on the planet to disqualify people from those other states, will manipulate/guilt trip their children and even lie if they have to just to put off their children from marrying an 'outsider'.
DeleteDem go complain about imo, bring enugu home, dem go still complain, abakaliki too Don join now, which place come remain for igbo land?
Poster if you like miss a good man because of dem say dem say, the way 2 of my friends from Anambra did, na you sabi.
Just one tribe, so terribly decided. Apart from state by state discrimination, there is even discrimination WITHIN states, with one area feeling superior to the other. We have not even come to the Osu issue o. Imagine!
DeleteAre you guys gonna base in his hometown? Every tribe has it's good and bad people. The fact that my tribesmen are konk ashewo hasn't stopped other tribes from marrying them.
ReplyDeleteLol @konk ashewo
DeleteYou better don’t loose a good man because of tribe .. my hubby’s mum wanted him to marry from his tribe but pretended as if she liked me , he stood his ground and we are married today … I can tell you that marrying my husband is the best thing that has happened to me … my husband is the perfect man I swear , we love and care for each other so much and we are best friends… I thank God everyday that I didn’t loose hope and leave , if you marry the wrong man coz of tribe , you would regret everyday of your life … if he gives you peace of mind and he is a kind man , please marry him … your parents has lived their lives …don’t make the mistake of marrying wrongly because of them
DeleteLol @ Stella we still have good men , the bad ones have over shadowed the good ones thats why you think so.
ReplyDeleteThere are good men aveg Stella. Font judge by what is obtainable, my husband does all these and even more, he goes to the market for me and buy things well. Now back to you poster, girly leave your mother alone and marry that man, he can't be pretending. Who told your mother to marry your father? Yes your man may have one or two shortcomings but please leave his tribe out of this. You got a good man like me, enjoy!!!!
ReplyDeleteMy first suitor was an abakiliki guy. I liked him but my very simple God-fearing father, and even my mother refused that I have anything to do with him, even though we are all igbos. They also would prefer other tribes to 'onye Izza'. Las las, I observed well and my parents were right. He was also too good to be true. Generous, God-fearing, nice, a DSS guy, no sex before marriage, etc. But e show me shegge within a very short time. I didn't feel very bad but glad I didn't totally discarded my father, and even my mother's fears. Sister relax small and observe. They know, and they use same format.
ReplyDeletePoster, Abakaliki people have archaic tradition and mindset. Their tradition is weird and totally unbelievable. They lack mental and social development. They have taboos too.
DeleteAsk your guy their own taboos and find out if you can cope. They are very backward.
Although he might be one out of millions.
Izza in Abakaliki is even worse than the other towns there. Very wicked and even fights the other villages. Other towns in Abakaliki does not like associating with them at all cos they fight and kill at random.
DeleteThis is hard. He is a PERFECT husband material.Follow your heart poster . You too cry for your mum that it's who you want to marry.
ReplyDeleteStella he is not pretending, my husband was like this b4 we got married. He reduced a lil bit in terms of errand, but he is still a swt soul.
ReplyDeleteNa WA oh even racism within the same tribe
ReplyDeleteIt freaking pisses me off.
DeleteBring him around your mother. See whether that will open her up to him.
ReplyDeleteI personally don’t think he is fake. He seems like a nice guy and he’s speaking your love language cause you definitely love acts of service and gifts.
Just make sure he can “do” sha. I didn’t say have sex with him oh. Sha find a way to confirm it is working
I don't know why even my mom is making this kind of demand too. I am just looking at her because when the time comes I will just bone her and do what's on my mind.
ReplyDeleteI use to ask her you that is being picky who told you it is everyone that likes Anambra people abi you think everybody from Anambra is a saint.
Most of my Anambra sisters are still single because their criteria is that he must come from Anambra and a Catholic
You both are not gbenshing, and he is washing your undies? Hmmmmn.
ReplyDeleteLady Stella, I see where you stand or sit to look into this matter.
Poster, best wishes.
Na washing machine dey wash am na
DeleteJust to throw it inside is not a big deal
And even spending all holidays and weekends in his place. You don't need to lie in your chronicle. Unless you don't want the truth. When I saw that, I disregarded every other nice stuff about him.Just be careful okay
Delete16:39 calm down. There are people that do this. It’s not all sex for everyone
DeleteSomeone will write her story then those of you that gave birth to her or live with her will come and say she’s lying just because it’s not ur own truth.
DeleteStella, na só dem for talk say my husband is too good to be true but there are actually people that are that good.
When a man is 10/10, my sister run. He is just packaging for you. Too good to be true Nne.
ReplyDeleteLol not true
DeleteLike!!! How can someone be so good? I want small drama abeg
DeleteMaybe if I had followed this kind of advise, I for don miss my 10/10 husband
DeletePoster, don't listen to 15:38. There are men that score above 10/10 and they are real. They even get better in marriage.
DeleteStella there are good men out there. I pray to meet one someday and soon too.
ReplyDeleteI don’t do tribe or no tribe, I have dated an Ebonyi guy and he was good to me too. It didn’t work because of age. I’m older than him with five years. He didn’t have a problem with it but I do. So I took a walk. I regret it I won’t even lie.
Keep praying about it and tell God to reveal himself to your parents. If he is the one , Nothing will stop it.
Good luck!
Go get him
DeleteIf he's still single, baby girl go get your man biko. Who cares about age
DeletePlease don't mind your mum. That was my case years ago.Two months after my wedding, she became a mother and second wife to my hubby. My son, my son, my son everywhere as she started enjoying life courtesy of hubby. Abeg follow your heart
ReplyDeleteLmao @ my son my son
DeleteOMEH
guy man is three good to be true....from planet earth?
ReplyDeleteThere are good, caring, sensitive and loving Naija men
DeleteMy husband is just what you described in your write up, he's naija and not pretending,we have been married for 6 years...he has never given me reason to suspect he's cheating but at the same time I can't vouch for any man so what I'm saying in essence is that there are still naija men like that then back to your chronicles,just like you my people did not accept my choice at first but in my case it was my mum that was against it,she said they people are very wicked people in fact there's nothing she didn't say but I refused to listen to her cos I know it will not be easy getting someone like that...I begged and begged before she gave me her blessings. Today she's thanking God I didn't listen to her ,he takes care of my parents the way he does for his parents,he treats me and the kids like gold so please try and convince your parents that everyone in abakiliki can't be bad...u need their blessings
ReplyDeleteIn my house hold we dnt marry from Benin/edo all our family members ,cousins ,neighbors that went to marry from Benin did not turn out well , my mom sis married from Benin she is late now she went to her father in-laws burial at Benin she spread her wrapper outside someone cut part of the wrapper that was d beggining of her problem she gave birth to just a child and kept trying for 25 years for a 2nd child till she died she suffered attack upon attack to the extent that she started living in a church . My elder sister refuse to listen to my mom she got married to an edo man she is back home with 2 children after a lot of serious witch craft attack so many stories from people around us who got married from edo / Benin , the girl or guy u are getting married to might be good but ask ur self is his family good ?
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 15:44 hmmmm this is really painful. PRAYER IS THE KEY 🔑.
DeleteMy Father even at his age still do more for my mother, we grew up seeing our popsy doing most things for mum whenever he was back from travel, he is a typical my mama and papa train me well. My brothers also are like that. Person no dey pretend finish , if e dey body e no fit commit for body.
DeleteStereotypes! I am a proud Edo guy. My mum was Efik and never experienced all the jargons you wrote up there - she was the only one that married an Edo man (my Dad) and was the only one that had a very happy and successful married life. Your family members - cousins, sisters - and neighbours, may just be the bad ones. Let us stop these stereotypes and tribe-shaming. It is worse than racism/racial discrimination.
DeleteI am surprised I will speak for myself I am bini by tribe from Edo state we are lovely people yes we bini's respect our tradition that's all I have to say.
Delete16:30 Don't be silly. What gives you the audacity to invalidate someone's experience and call it jargons?
DeleteIf someone said everything you just said is smelling rubbish, how would you feel?
That's why so many avoid men from your state because many of you talk anyhow, and end up sounding so proudly DAFT.
So the fact that your mom, as you claim, 'was happy' means all the people who weren't are what now? Are lying? Please go and seat down somewhere and focus on your handiwork/homework.
There is a reason why Edo men are so thoroughly disliked and avoided by other tribes.
××××That obviously does not mean every single one is bad.
Listen to your mom the guy might be good but is his family good ? I can not marry an uhrobo man bcos they can dissapoint u at anytime , their women dnt even let people husband rest cos they believe in “we dey marry pass 1 for uhrobo land “ instead of them to fuck ur husband and go they wil make sure they get pregnant for him , I can’t deal Abeg why I go marry man my heart go dey cut any how bcos of their girls expecially the uhrobo men that dnt live in d city .
ReplyDeleteI not fit laugh. 🤣
DeleteSome people say Abakaliki men are Lazy that they leave the home front for their wives to handle while they drink away. Just make your mother see reasons with you. All the Best
ReplyDeleteI would also like to know why Ebonyi state people are stereotyped as wicked people.
ReplyDeleteone of my best friend's mum married from that state and she was in a wheel chair for a very long time till she died after her husband married another lady from his place, I remember my friend's granny crying that she warned her daughter not to marry from that place.
My cousin married from there and the stories I am hearing are not good, I hear people say it's better that Ebonyi marry themselves.
Just be prayerful sha( by prayerful I mean you should pray to God yourself and not contact one lying pastor that will complicate your life with yeye prophesy), ask God to reveal things to you.
EXACTLY!!! Dear,Poster,what has GOD said about this man you intend to marry???
DeleteAt first I thought your description of the guy was from love magazine. Such a perfect guy that takes days off to take care of his girlfriend. Buys something for his girlfriends colleague. He is indeed one in a million.
ReplyDeleteAge has thought me that our parents are not always right. There is nothing as perfect as marrying your friend no matter where he comes from.
Poster, you need to know his family background..the guy might be good but his family maybe bad. Be observant don't allow love blind you
ReplyDeleteVery very important! Please examine his Family members prayerfully and Closely...
DeleteStella, I come for you, hol am, hol am, :)
ReplyDeleteThere is only one way forward, to marry your "baby."
ReplyDeleteWhoever does not agree now, will agree later, when the train
does not crash like they fear.
But my main concern is "spending weekends and holidays in his house
and he washing undies" still you do not want to sleep with him before marriage.
Mmm Odiegwu
Yes. There are men and women who can sleep under one roof without full or half s3x. But that pant washing part of the story get as e sound.
DeleteHow is Nigeria going to survive? Even the Igbos discriminate among themselves. Hausas and Fulanis are fighting one another. The Yorubas cajole Ibadan people. The Ijaws and the rest of the niger delta and so on. Why can't humans emphasize the things that unite us instead of those that divide us?
ReplyDeleteVery Childish post.
ReplyDeleteI hate it when a woman says ' He takes care of all my needs/ wants'.
For God's sake, make sure you take care of yourself and your needs first before you even go into relationship with any man. That's how some lady I like started asking me to pay her house rent and give her monthly handouts to prove that as I care. What rubbish!
It's not a man's job to take care of you...it's your job. Whatever he does for you is just a bonus. STOP going into a relationship to find a man that will take care of you. That's why men don't respect you, hence why they control you.
Back to the Abakiliki guy, your mother sadly was raised by a society or family that thinks that people from particular tribe or clan is better than the other. She's passing over to you what she learned from her own parents. It's up to you to create your part and be assertive.
It's saying , an Anambra lady shouldn't marry an Imo guy, or that Onitsha and Asaba women are promiscuous, or that Edo women are prostitutes that kill their husbands, or that Owerri women are whores. I can go on and on. Very bad mentality to have in this time and age.
Finally, as love dey shack you, don't forget to make yourself useful...get a job or business and start supporting the family before 'SEE FINISH' go enter the relationship or marriage when the honeymoon phase is over.
Good luck with the no sex before marriage .What you don't know, won't hurt you.
Not for me, sorry. We MUST have sex. Sexual compatibility is very important in my choice of spouse.
Some of them are trouble makers, and the one's have met are God's sent and angel
ReplyDeleteMy mother said that she will jump into the ocean if I marry my fiance then. Well, we both fasted and prayed together and he came to our house to meet her and the rest is history.
ReplyDeleteWe have been married for years and nobody has jumped into the ocean.
Abi
DeleteLol
DeleteI am currently not in talking terms with my parents because they are against a man I want to marry, they want to choose for me and I have seen the kind of choice they made for others and how it failed woefully and how even their own marriage is nothing to write home about, reason for these long story is that parents are not always right, and the blackmail of crying and begging is just the most irritating part, next thing will be threat then how they would rather die. Regardless just be patient respect them but let her know your stand and if you have any doubt yourself then walk away you are the person getting married not them
ReplyDeleteI hate generalization but one thing I know that scares other Igbos from Ebonyi is the communal clash amongst them always. It’s always bloody like terrorists attacks and Igbos are not known that way.
ReplyDeleteDainty you spoke like someone who drew conclusion from online write ups but the truth is that for Anambra ladies, others see them as wise and smart, so suitors from other states are always on their guard when approaching them.
For the men, others see them as moneymaking machines. Infact the list for marriage for Anambra suitors is different from other states in some places.
Poster look closely especially his family, if they are warm and nice, pray and give it a shot. Best wishes
Hmmmmmm, Abakaliki people are wicked, infact wickedness run in their veins. two of my relative and my mum's colleagues that married them suffered a lot, one escaped with matchete cuts after husband's death.The other was lured to be killed by her own husband, she's not lucky to live to tell her story. They started having issues when the husband couldn't pay one if the killers. The was maltreated and punched in the stomach before she ran for her dear life. Don't ignore your mothers instinct, she's right.
ReplyDeleteNow this is scary! 🤯😱
DeleteAs in eee, you don't even know the half of it. The stories I've heard from people that are from there or things I've even witnessed with my eyes. Some nice ones amongst them vows not to marry from their place so they won't have any ties again.
DeletePray, Pray and Pray
ReplyDeleteDon't just walk by sight or people's opinions. What is God saying?
In the end, you'll be the one to live with the consequence(s) of your choice(s)
Poster visit his home town first,spend like 3days then be sincere write us chronicle of how your visit went.
ReplyDelete17:43, you want them to poison her....lol.
Delete10:43 is it after marriage they cant still poison her, abi she will never visit the village?
DeleteHmm. I married an Ebonyi man and I can say he is a perfect man for me. At first I doubted if he was real but I settled it with the Peace I felt and that's it! Peter nwachukwu isn't ebonyi man, tha popular BV that the husband chased with plank isn't from abakiliki and a whole lot- pray and wait, your parents will come around eventually. Are you at peace as a Christian- check that, very important. Lastly, marry an exposed Igbo man because many local Igbo men will dominate you. they are so wack in mentality. Your parents can not use few experiences to judge a whole state.
ReplyDeleteVery very local and wack mentality. You said it right.
DeleteGrowing we has an abakiliki man as gateman one time. The man show me n my siblings shege. Very I’ll tempered man. Sometimes we had to jump fence( there was a low part) just to avoid the man n if he mistakenly catches you it’s over for you. The man fought anyone and anywhere and usually beat up his wife like no man’s business. Till my parents had to lay him off n it was war self.
ReplyDeleteThat was my closest experience with an abakiliki person, so shameful as it sounds I shared that prejudice against people from that side. To the extent that when my Nanny initially came for interview, all was going well until she mentioned she was from abakiliki, haa instant internal alarm!,
When my hubby came home n I told him my fears, he told me it was very wrong to judge someone I just met in such a way and advised we prayed about it. Which we did and had peace so we went ahead and hired her.
4yrs down she turned out to be one of the best humans I have ever made contact with in my life. In almost every aspect.
Poster i will advise you pray about it. Ask God for directions. He sees the heart of man and knows tomorrow. Good luck.
Had*
DeleteEbonyi men that aren't exposed and enlightened are mean. They reason and behave like terrorists. Go there and see for yourself. Killing with matchet is no big deal there. Matchet is cane to them.. Their youths are leaving in droves to other states. Their women are hardworking.
ReplyDeletePoster pls don't listen to your mom. That was how they rejected the man I brought and I ended up marrying their choice,now my parents aren't welcome to my house,penny toro he doesn't give them.
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣 sorry. I don't know why this is so funny.
DeleteIs your husband bound to give your father and mother money. Is that not the responsibility of you and your siblings from money you each earn, and if you all are home bound wives, from money given to you as personal allowance?
DeleteI have known an ebonyi guy for more than 5 years. He is so perfect and an angel on earth. Maybe the good ones become so good bcos they have been stereotyped as wicked...i really pity good ebonyi people that have been suffering for others wickedness.
ReplyDeleteYour mum wont live ur life or live wt you. Marry ur love if u have prayed about it and it is God's will. Dont miss out on this guy my dear,just bcos of where he is from. There are worse Anambra men out there.... personalities differ. I hope u do and then tell us tales of ur happy union!
Let me go anon. I came here last year to ask about Ebonyi men and some bvs gave me positive reports about them. That gave me the push to accept my hubby's toasting, lol and he's the best thing that has ever happened to me.
ReplyDeleteStella, she isn't lying about her man. I also married from that state, and my man is more of this poster's bf although mine isn't from Ezzi, Ezza tribe nor Abakaliki as a whole. He is from Okposi and Ebonyias from Okposi, Afikpo can behead you if you call them Abakaliki men. People within the same Ebonyi state also don't like Abakaliki men as they are seen as wicked, mean, dubious, especially the uneducated ones. I am not generalizing but I had to believe that cos when I told one of my friends that's from Enugu that I got married to an Ebonyi man, he asked and I quote "hope he's not from Ezzi/Ezza/Abakaliki". I believed when my hubby's childhood friend duped him of 3M and ran away; same Ebonyi men but got duped by his Abakaliki friend.
Now listen poster, I am a Yoruba lady that damn all and married my Ebonyi man and there's no regret whatsoever. I am even the first, both from my father's and mother's extended family that married outside my tribe. My mum and siblings talked at first but they later came around. Talk to someone else that can convince your mum otherwise. Also, go to God in prayers, there is nothing God cannot do. If he's your perfect will, everything will be sorted.
Don't forget to also do underground check on his family members. Your man may be a good man, what about his family members? Do your digging, pray, talk to someone your mum listens to. Good luck
Well written 👍. May God continue to bless your marriage
DeletePoster, digest this by anon 18:51.
DeleteI think you really need to seek God in a fast and prayer this season. He knows the hearts of men. Also ask God to reveal and convince your mum if the man is His will for you. Don't rush things. Now is not time for sentiment, just seek, you will find.
Wishing you the best.
He might not be pretending. My husband is like that. Does and buys practically all things. Does cooking if I will come back late from office. His own office is not far and he owns it. He's just his way. He will tell me his mother taught him house chores. I don't take that for granted.
ReplyDeletePoster ask the man his family tradition,if there is any. I don't want you to lose this guy. Also continue to pray about it.
This does cooking IF I’m late cracks need up
DeleteWhy can’t this men cook even if y’all are early
Poster just pray,visit his family members ,observe and pray.......Josaria
ReplyDeleteThe main disconcerting aspects of the post is its "me, me, meness" and emphasis on mostly the material.
ReplyDeletePoster hold this man just pray fervently cos there's bad tribe everywhere. I've heard how umuahia men are cunny stingy and prideful so doesn't mean thsts how all of them are . Wishing you the best in your choices
ReplyDeleteNo wonder! My umuahia ex is as stingy as they come jeez
DeleteI had to go back and reread the post to find out why people were saying 'he sounds too good to be true.'
ReplyDeleteMy God!
Dear Nigerian woman, is your bar so freakin' low?
What is the wonderment about? Or are you so used to associating with dregs who will keep emphasising like a mosquito in your ear, 'you are not the most beautiful ', 'you are not the biggest bum bum nyen nyen nyen...'
What is the astonishing, amazing thing here that is sounding like an incredible fairytale in your ear?
Like I don't understand.
This is supposed to be the BASICS.
Someone joining your clothes to wash with his is incredible? As in laundry????
Abi is it very strange that as a Nigerian man, he can treat her with love and respect?
Someone tending to you when ill is strange? Who is supposed to take care of her when she is sick? The person cutting grass at the side of road?
Or is it the fact that he washes his own bathroom that is bursting your brains? Incredibly amazing abi?
Only God knows what you lot are suffering in your own relationships to make things as basic as this sound like 'it's too good to be true.'
So if I tell you what my man does for me, you people will faint in shock and say it is all lies?
What a pity.
I agree with you. It is really sad. The criteria for a good Nigerian man is “doesn’t beat you and only cheats occasionally”. However, the list for a good Nigerian woman can fill up an entire notebook. Very disheartening.
DeleteMost men, not just Nigerians, are not domesticated. It is a gift to have a man like that.
DeleteI have a lot of respect for women that trained their sons to do every house chore. My father did the same with me, did not care that I was a girl. It is a gift and a blessing.
Little seems so big to many Naija women because many have not had it good at all. In fact, many wives don't know what spousal love is and they do not expect it, so I don't blame those saying the man is too good to be true.
DeleteVery sad indeed
DeleteHe adds it to the washing machine and it’s so glorious
What exactly are we talking about here
What have our parents created
Such a terrible shame. 22:29 so you are saying on a normal men don't wash their clothes, clean their bathrooms, cook for themselves? Wow.
DeleteThis is the reason why I would rather remain single than marry a Nigerian man. They just seem so archaic and local in their mentality. Always full of hot air and looking for ways to denigrate their women folk. Meanwhile, they have nothing to offer. See that one up there busting his diapers telling someone her family experience is 'jargons' just because as far his own mummy was happy with her choice, no body else's experience matters.
Ebonyi people in general are known for their cruelty and wickedness. That guy that got the Ekweremadus in jail is from Ebonyi, when I said it to my mom she lamented that how can Ekweremadu expect anything good from an Ebonyi person? But that's a generalization. Your man sounds good but what about his family. That viral video of the woman complaining that her sisters in law just sit around the house and create work for her... have you observed his family? How extended family nko? I think the best advice is to pray. Ask God to remove any relationship that's not his will for your life and d meditate on the request and see what happens.
ReplyDeleteI schooled in Abakaliki and I still have friends from there. Poster dont allow your mum stop you from marrying a good man. My friend from a rich home is married to a guy from Abakaliki and they have been married for 13 years. While they were TTC for 6 years, her husband stayed with her. They have 5 children and this man built one of the most beautiful house for her and their children. My best friend in school is from Ezaamgbo, Mama Ada and her family are one of the best families I have met on earth. Please dont leave the man. Your mum will be happy years later.
ReplyDeleteHRT "Her husband stayed with her". How do you know the problem was not from him. And in any case where was he supposed to go? When he was saying 'for better for worse," was it a nursery rhyme?
DeletePoster there is something your mum is seeing but you're are blinded by love to see it. Pray about it .
ReplyDeleteDon't dismiss your parents' fears yet. Investigate him and his family members well.
ReplyDeleteIf everybody husband is this good ,why are marriages failing?
ReplyDeleteI was thinking she will say that the guy is OSU, but he turned out to be a stupid reason of a state of origin! Ndi Igbo, why are you people discriminating against yourselves? How do you people expect to be loved when you can't even love your close neighbors and brothers? Nne, marry your marriage in peace!! Do not miss a wonderful man over a tribal sentiments that happened years before our parents were born. Those were folklore of the circumstances they found themselves, things have change, modernization has taken place. Look for your peace against all odds!!!
ReplyDeletePlease speak to God as regards the man. Na God get the man and your mama join. Tell him to intercede for you and make a good choice. If the man is the one for you, God will surely bring your family around. No One, I repeat, NO ONE knows tomorrow. not even your Mother, so she can't/shouldn't decide for you. It's your future, speak to God and remove sentiment! Good luck!
ReplyDelete