Why did you opt for divorce? Or why are you in the process of Divorcing him/her? Do you secretly regret the move when you are alone and wish you can correct the mistake?
I want to know the view of men especially and if they regretted their actions to the women they are divorcing/divorced
Did any man here go back to beg and remarry the woman they divorced? Why? or did you just say ''God forbid'' that you ever go back?
What about the women? Any regrets? Or did life begin anew the day the divorce pulled through?
Has anyone here celebrated getting divorced? Or do you know anyone who did?
Lets gist!
I want to know the view of men especially and if they regretted their actions to the women they are divorcing/divorced
Did any man here go back to beg and remarry the woman they divorced? Why? or did you just say ''God forbid'' that you ever go back?
What about the women? Any regrets? Or did life begin anew the day the divorce pulled through?
Has anyone here celebrated getting divorced? Or do you know anyone who did?
Lets gist!
I would gladly tow the divorce line but for Roman Catholic doctrine,a leader I respect in that church advised I don't divorce but separate. So we are separated.
ReplyDeleteI have no regrets because this man has exhibited that he has no ounce of love or affection for me. He didn't even put up a fight. The people who are looking like they want me back(just to save face in church) are his parents/family. All the elements of divorce are present.
He cheats like it's going out of fashion. Now we are separated,his girlfriend cooks and lives with him meanwhile I put to bed and he hasn't come to see his child or his son.
He has been cruel to me. Smashed my phone once when I confronted him with the evidence of his lifestyle. He keeps telling me he is my Lord and master,in this era!.
He is a deadbeat father. Sends only 5k and stresses it is for his son's upkeep.
He says I am not submissive but I wash,cook,help him in his business place but once I confront him on his lifestyle,he starts ranting.
He hit me while pregnant and boasts about it meanwhile he said it was I who hit him.
Many things I regret about knowing/marrying him. He told my mom marriage is not by force I can go with my children and he will marry another woman and have more children,lol. I am glad I left his sorry ass. Left for me,I want to severe ties with him ND his family in all ways but..church. I am glad I am in another state. I am healing although some days,I want to collapse in depression that I ever spent 3of my profitable years with him.
C.A God will judge u. Judge your side chi/family friend U.U,judge your best friend/man who is supporting you that I am exhibiting feminism and encouraged you to hit me well ,J.
I need to talk to someone!!
Divorce him and live your life. He is living his. Whom among those in that Church will not want to divorce such a man?
DeleteMadam don't let anyone confuse you with their " church talk" ...I was married to the son of a priest in one of the Orthodox churches and they showed me hell!
DeleteThe punk had been married before( I found out in the 7th year of our marriage and everyone in his family denied knowledge of the first marriage until I found a copy of the marriage certificate and it had his father's signature on it, a PRIEST OOO)
He didn't get a proper divorce but he has an "Oluwole" divorce paper he carries around to show people whenever they ask him why he lied about his first marriage.
For over 10 years we ttced meanwhile this man knew and still knows that he cannot father a child but his family put so much pressure on me( with his silent backing) making me jump from pillar to post until I broke and I said no more and left him..
1 year after leaving him I got pregnant with another man...
I also found out his 1st wife is now a mother of 4 kids as at today. My sister you ex is living with another woman why has the church turned a blind eye to that and instead have asked you to some- what put your own life on hold.. Sweetie move on and instead have a very personal and deep relationship with God.
Divorce that fool and be free.What Church for crying out loud.Close those legs for once . Which church preaches violence and abuse?It's time.to move on wholeheartedly with your.life or will you accept him if he comes back.
DeleteAre you waiting till he marries his side chic before you know it's over.??
I'm happy you left, you're a strong woman, some would have stayed till they left in casket. Please divorce him, and move on,life's too short
DeleteThe person telling you to separate doesn't love you because he/she disregards your needs and doesn't want you to be fulfilled. Jesus didn't ask the lady at the week too go back to her first husband or leave her situation with the man she was with before making her the first Evangelist. Paul's advice has kept too many of God's female children under satanic bondage and you had better set yourself free.
DeleteJesus asked the pharisees which one of them wouldn't save their cattle if it fell in a ditch on the Sabbath even though the punishment for working on the Sabbath is death. The law was made for man, not man for the law. Get out of that mess now. The advisers telling you to die lonely can keep their conditional love for their children in such a situation.
Don't let any church doctrine turn you into a single mother for life while the culprit goes on to live his life. The same church doctrine can easily be changed tomorrow.
DeleteHmmm! interesting topic,sometimes I feel bad and sometimes I thank God because the marriage was filled with emotional, psychological and verbal abuse.we have been divorced for few years now,he has remarried but didn't inform me(he always says he wouldn't because he claims he still loves me).sometimes we chat like we are still lovers and some days I wish I didn't meet him in my life time.we can never come back together the betrayal almost sent me to a mental home.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry...did you just type " some days you chat like lovers"? I thought you said he re- married? Madam face front oo.
DeleteBefore nko!we just dey deceive each other but I can't be intimate with him again.
DeleteAnd you believed him? Lmaooo... Believed someone that almost sent you to the looney bin.
DeleteI just saw Sandra ijeawu praising her first husband now and the great father he is. Always praising him for peaceful co-parenting, he never gives her stress etc. Sometimes you dont know how bad a marriage truly was until u face a more hellish one. She has dealt with Ubi and Steve and probably regrets she just shld have resolved watever issue she had with this one.
ReplyDeleteSo you are only concluding from a distance but don't know for sure.
DeleteMy ex was so In love so I thought,open, caring,respectful and I had an opinion in the relationship.infact most of my friends and family members saw him like a gold.He wanted marriage from the beginning,we dated for four years,though long distance relationship.
ReplyDeleteWe got married and bros changed,I couldn't talk,passworded his phone,verbal and emotional abuse.
Too cut the long story short,when I was frustrated I asked for a divorce and uncle told me yes ,that is want I would do.
I begged and asked for forgiveness,he said he had made up his mind.Naso court cases started
He took the case to a court outside our base.
Lied in the petition but I didn't answer it.
After judgement,he asked for forgiveness and he felt I can never trust him again.he would chat that he was tired of life.
I was the only one that understood him.He wanted more of me despite the fact that we were divorced,we never had sex but we sex chat at times but I had to stop when I found out he would be remarrying .He came around few months after his wedding and this guy never mind me sleeping over in his hotel room.we even kissed and held hands like young lovers.i have stopped talking or chatting regularly with him because I think whenever he talks about life I get pity and always wants to see him happy.make okafor'law happens to me.I don't regret been divorced from him,he has shown that he is a liar, manipulative and an hypocrite.
Hopefully I will meet my own man soon.
Stop communication with that nigga straight, if not you will definitely regret it. Do not visit him again and again. Pray for God's direction .
DeleteWe have two kids together,so we can't stop communicating but I have reduced it to when it's necessary or important like today father's day.They called to appreciate him but I din't talk unlike before I would join them to sing and uncle will be happy but no more...
DeleteMy Madame ll shout at any given opportunity at the husband, very lousy and lazy but a prayer warrior, a viper, no control or whatsoever chai she became worse that she tells her husband if you annoy me I ll stab you , gentle young hardworking responsible Man , the love he had for her diminished when she told him she ll soon poison his food, which led to him reporting her to the church and to think that she is a teacher in the Catholic Church hmmmm he started staying on his own inside his own house , no welcome from the wife , he only plays with the baby, 100 % of house bills and more for her family was on him, he started to drop cheque for the wife and not cash for references and goes straight to the room , no more sleeping in one room , they were ask to separate and stay in a different room for some time.
DeleteAfter 3 months nothing happened, 6 months the same, 1 year, going to 2 years, they were called by the priest to reconcile and live as man and wife because obviously the man never wanted a divorce, but My madame said she want the man to leave the house for her ( house that the man at that time was paying 850,000 in lagos for 4 bedroom flat) ,the woman started shouting at the parish among other priest as if she want to slap the priest, the priest ask that if that's the case he ask the gentleman if he was ready to pack out he said no , i want my family back except the woman I married deceived me because I had nothing staying in a room without toilet and she was so humble, cooking and smiling all those period , I married her because I thought she loved me and now we have all and she turned to an uncontrollable wife, i dont have a mother nor father nobody is disturbing her. father ask her why is she like this after marriage but madame changed mouth that oga should transfer money to her that she has an agent who ll rent a place out for her 🤔 😏 untop settlement hmmmm. She insisted he pays 3 years or else there would be throble, guy man paid total of 1.8 million for house of 450, she packed out in lass than 3 days, the parish gave them a meditator to avoid stories whenever he want to see his only child.
Years passed nothing happened she didn't beg , nothing still bragging. The man sent message but she ll ignore it and was using the daughter 🙄 to cos the man more pain, she missed her daddy so much that he could only see her in school only or church . He became a by pass father that one day he made up his man for a proper dissolution of the marriage to enable him move on , lo and behold she granted it and even made it faster for him at Ogun state, she showed in person but he only went once. His lawyer did all for him because of his Job. Under few months marriage don scatter . The woman also went and returned pride price her self in an envelope. " God no be juju be this?
Man packed his broken piece and moved on , asked a very young beautiful lady in her 2's from nowhere, different tribe, and married her well. Before they say Jack oboy, the girl started giving birth like rain, meanwhile she lied to us that he was impotent . But never showed us any medical report of the ex husband.
Guy man started working hard and moved to his personal home and has 3 beautiful boys and a girl.
She is now in her 50's and regrets so bitterly, if she had known, all the people that pushed her to keep malicious relationships with her husband has vanished no longer friend and they are very much intact with their husbands and children.
The ex husband is living his dreams and she on the other hand is bringing up the girl child with so much hate and regret hmmmm. Lets becareful the decision we make when we are young age no dey reduce o . Character goes a long way in our society in general.
Why are you calling to appreciate him in father's day? Why should he call to appreciate you on mother's day? That's the job of your children especially when you had an acrimonious divorce or one party is moving on.
DeleteNigerian exes shouldn't blur the lines here since your society is different from the cultures you borrowed these anniversaries from. You are no longer a couple so he is baba x and you are mama y or you go by first names. If he is doing well or not, it's the children who will give the verdict.
😅🤣🤣😅🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣, ewoooo, my bellyooooo🤣😂🤣 Northern Guy, this ur comment too funny .
DeleteUsing my cousin's ID, I hope I am anonymous.
ReplyDeleteI never regretted it one bit. We are co-parenting without issues. I have free access to our children and didn't fight for their custody, for it is not right to deny a mother her children - except she is wayward. And it still hasn't stopped me from taking care of my own end of our responsibilities as parents to our children. Beside, she isn't a bad person. We simply lost the plot of the good marriage we had. If I have to choose again with, I would still choose to be divorced from that marriage. And yes, we failed our children. But make that up for the way and manner we are co-parenting. No issues, just love on our children.
Wayward ways should not stop any mother from accessing and having beautiful relationship with their kids.
DeleteA parent is only denied access if he/she is a threat to the child's life.
Wayward fathers are never denied their children.
DeleteSee how objective a man's comment is? The woman wasn't evil, they simply lost the plot and if I may add, were unwilling to work towards finding it again.
DeleteSDK men haters club, L.E.A R.N....and have sense.
No regrets whatsoever. So much peace since I left the man that drained me in all possible ways ( emotionally, financially...).
ReplyDeleteI wish I can type. let me be going because talking about it brings negative memories and tears. I knew he had a second wife/child from a co wife (his brothers wife). I thought he was my husband not knowing I was living with a cobra. We were ttc . His parents and close friend followed him to pay dowery when he.found out the lady was pregnant for him. Everyone knew about the second wife except me. He travels often because of his kind of job and the project he had at home. I nearly died the day I heard the news. Life!!
ReplyDeleteJesus, you mean he fathered a child with his brother's wife? Is the brother alive?
DeleteThank God you found out and left. That is not a for better for worse man so you shouldn't wait for death to part you.
DeleteThis is exactly what's happening to me. Funny enough they think I don't know about it that he's planning to marry another woman. I do as if I don't know. I'm seriously looking for money or job to move on cos no future here
DeleteMine is always trying to get back but I keep refusing. Now he's using the tactics I'm a bad mum. He came to kids school to collect them and shouting while at it. I have told social services I wont be picking those kids, if una like take them to Foster care. If he loves them as he claims, he should cater for them. As for me, I need a few years to myself. It is well with them
ReplyDeleteYour blog name speak volumes about your personality. How can you wish social services keep you kid just because you want to "own" your ex-husband? You two are peas in a pod.
Delete17:15 not own him
DeleteShe wants him to do his share so she can rest
Too bad your type sees feminism as something bad, if my ex really loves his kids as he claims, he will collect them and father them, as he claims I'm a bad mum. Let's see what he can do. They ain't babies, and tbh they love going to thier dad's, although he takes them only 3x year. Now it will be full time. I have cut ties temporarily. I have left SM and switched dmy fone off. I just wanna be free from him, don't wish to see that man again. His narcissistic behaviour is alarming. He wishes people to see me in bad light so he can look good, at this junction I am tired of fighting. You don't own me. Kids will know their mum when they want.
DeleteYou are using your kids as ammo in your battle with your ex, that makes you a TERRIBLE mum and person. Who does that?? The kids choice should speak to you.
DeletePeace
Proudly Feminist you get mind oooooh. Sorry for everything you passed or passing through but do well to update us.
DeletePlease, how old are your kids, madam?
DeleteI will be sure to update you all. The kids have said few times they wanna live with their papa. Trust me, I can tell this guy will manipulate kids against me, so it will still end up being same thing. Let him also do the work, now kids. Kids are 11 and 9. Even now kids are very rude, bcos they know their dad condemns me already, telling them 'your mum doesn't love you' abeg pls nobody can kill me. The kids know who their mum is already, they aint babies, when they live with him and his true colour come out, they will cry they wanna go back to their mum, and if they don't. That's all good, I will see them during holidays. Who says only mothers should end up wit the kids? Who made that rule? I know someone who fought all through, she lost her peace and the kids still went to live with dad when they were 15 and 16. So who lose? Hahahhahaha
DeleteMy own is how I was demoted from fiancé to side chick.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm, my ex was 10 years older ,but I like them older, he claim to love me, in fact he proposed to me on evening,while we were having fun with his friends and brother, I was happy, I was just in 200l then, I was already been called "iyawo" until he met one rich aunty, initially he was hiding it,until one day I jam aunty in his house, and I sha got to know, aunty thought I was the younger bros girlfriend,me sef dey there dey look like mumu, I was young and naive, uncle told me na me he loves, anytime aunty is around,he won't allow me to come, she doesn't stay in same town, there was a time aunty met me there, fear catch me, but she no suspect,later we all drove out with his bros and friend, he stopped in front of supermarket that I should buy pad and drug for aunty, I kuku go buy am, he dropped it,and we went out to a bar,after which we lodge into a hotel, I was feeling fly,say he abandoned aunty to be with me, he even uses yours faithfully to do bach eve, the friends still dey call me iyawo in bach eve o, I still dey wear his ring all this while o, the mumu spirit wey dey inside me that time came with 3 seater.even after marriage,I still dey see him, he's always telling me I'm the one he loves, telling me all the wife's secret,maybe na lie sef, dey even ask me for advice,me sef dey form the preferred one, I no know say ,I be preffered one to fuck and not to marry, I sha latter receive sense after almost 5 years
Poor you! What a pathetic state to be in.
DeletePoor you! What a pathetic state to be in.
DeleteJust glad you came to terms with reality and left. The guy was always bad news. Just work on your self confidence and you'll choose better next time. I feel for the wife and even the sad man she is married to.
Deletesome men re extremely wicked
DeleteWe are divorced and co-parenting. Reason we divorced was DV. He has remarried but comes around to see the kids since he is 100% responsible for their upkeep and he still gives me personal allowance coz dude is moneyed and generous when it comes to me, DV is his flaw. He babysits whenever I have to stay out late, although still frowns his face. His wife won't let me rest, always calling to warn me, and told me to stop him from coming to see the kids and babysitting. Madam free me, he is all yours, we are cordial and cool because of the kids and hell would freeze over before I stop him. I am dating a divorcee too and have decided to be companions, I am not getting married again, been there, done it, and I'm out. Let me enjoy life. My wrinkles have disappeared. No more stress. I realised holding a grudge would not benefit me, so I let go and enjoy the benefits from outside
ReplyDeleteDis one dey collect prick from both sides. She dey enjoy collect personal allowance but dey date divorcee, na dem. She no wan marry again, why? Because she wan enjoy life meaning with marriage she no see how she fit enjoy life. It tells me dat dis one no fit stay for marriage.
DeleteSensible way to save yourself and bounce back. Dodge the bible verses and freelance judges o. Life's too short.
Delete17:25 you’re just pained she’s living her best life
DeleteWomen are incredibly selfish but want men not to be.
DeleteIf it was a man living like this...you won't call it 'living his best life'
Women...holding men to standards they cannot hold themselves to.
Have you noticed that all the women who posted on here painted their men in bad light? The men are bad...but they are saints. Until you hear from the men...you will then find out that many of these women are the devil themselves. Believe women's tales at your own peril.
No be women? Always painting men black since 1864 whilst painting themselves as saints.
We have been separated for more than a year and I hope to go through with the divorce and there is no regret. He is what you would call a narcissist, he made me look bad to every body, he would not take care of my financial needs. Made me stop my job once after I told him I was getting a raise. Few years later, he told everyone I was lazy and not ready to work. No kids and the pressure was crazy, I developed hbp and he would not give me money for drugs telling me to faith it out. He called me names, made me feel small and worthless, but I am on my own and my business is thriving,. He has begged but I don't want to be unhappy again. I love me and the place I'm at right now. I don't mind being single but if love happens, I will give in a hundred percent
ReplyDeleteI'm happy heaven afforded you a clean break. Imagine co parenting with such a guy.
Delete"..but it love happens I'll give in a hundred percent." I LOVE THIS!
DeleteYou have truly healed! Please keep doing you and loving you!❤
Uhhm people are trying with all these things many that are married and unmarried to try and know others before marriage or during marriage
ReplyDeleteWe are divorced and I am very happy I went for it. I cannot regret it or go back to my vomit. Oga was forming nice and trying to apologize but I have to block him very well and told him to stay off.
ReplyDeleteHow can anyone regret divorce, if you regret it you should have made the marriage work. Abeg no time for any regrets, just face front.
ReplyDeleteStella I'm in this divorce wahala now. Though I'm still looking for house which haven't been easy. My husband cheats, beats, neglects us, zero empathy, doesn't care if I and my daughter eats or not. There's no name that he haven't called me. Though I am my daughter are still under his roof looking for a house to pack to. Please blog family is there a way I can connect to any woman right? Cos he's threatening me that he will take my baby of 18months from me. I'm in Anambra.
ReplyDeleteCurrently separated and will for divorce later this year. Physical, emotional, and verbal abuse started shortly after marriage. This is a man who never raised his voice at me during the 3 years we dated before marriage. Since our separation he has tried to paint me out to be an unfit mother when in fact he'd rather do almost anything instead of spend time with our child when we were together. Now he wants custody of the child when his schedule will not allow him to be a present father. Coparenting has been a nightmare. He's just so petty and bitter.
ReplyDeleteI'm sad that he wasn't willing to make the marriage work. I was willing to forgive him and stand by him if he showed remorse and worked towards being a better human being. This process is traumatic but I know that I made the best choice for my daughter and me. One day he might realize what he's done, but by then I hope to have moved on.
Amen my sister
DeleteI truly pray for you that you move on fast
Is there no good marriage again?
ReplyDelete