Sisi Senaponi's Corner - Bride See Wetin Big Pass Am.

This one off me!

 

I hail o yard pipu dem dem!


Stellastically...how horizon? I greet o!


Na invite wey customer invite me for her younger sister intro/engagement parry.


I reach their compound, we sidon as friends of the Bride sister.


I come even confuse as everybody resemble stranger for my eyes!
Be like na Jack sparrow fim the Make up Artist use learn work!

Some people come resemble Angry bird, eye brow almost reach hairline!


No wonder one Aunty wey Bouncer hold for gate dey shout say she be family member, say na now now she comot go fix her face inside car!
Bouncer say e nor recognize her and her IV come dey inside house! *kiikiikii..chineke abeg!*


Her own makeup na Baba Fela she kukuma resemble! Anor know how Anikulapo wan follow Osahon relate! *clickstongue*


I come even begin wonder as the straight line wey all them friends of our bride draw for center of nose come resemble those bush spirits wey dey pursue Mr Ibu inside sleep for fim! Mba! this one nor fit be contour, na daylight wickedness!


Bride sister sef nor quick see me, be like bulb dey dey under the eye latchis, once they look down or breeze blow, Odi Off-Nepa!


Na wicked usher dey carry them put near standing fan and speaker inside church. Anor think say this kain latchis go gree person cross Red sea! The latchis odi grow wings and return to Egypt!


During sermon, wey Ox fan dey do the work wey dem no send am, the latchis go make sister begin squeeze eyes to see altar, water go begin comot!
Choir master wey nor dey use eye see fine woman go think say na him ministration move sister to tears! Begin do orhun-orhun,I see you Sister! *Sister nor dey see you, abeg shift, off mic!*


Some eyes go even Red, come resemble person wey wack Igbo for breakfast! Anor know who dey teach some new Make up pipu this kain behaviour! God dey see una o! Affordable nor mean calamity o!


Small time we begin wait make bride come out. She nor gree comot!

Nna ehn, the kain hunger wey gather do follow-come for me nor be play play!


Caterer odi evil spirit! She dey count kpoff kpoff put inside plate give person! The cocktail sef be like the okuko get paralysis! Anor jor understand!


And if bride nor comot, they nor dey gree start to dey share food. Aforjor sidon house lem better chao before I wedge latitude!


Na so I use style ask say wetin dey occur? They say bride say she nor wan marry! Say she get cold feet! I say na who put AC for 16? Make una wear am stockings and canvas abeg!


How she nor go wan marry after we don spend money sew cloth, enter road, knock keke driver for head, comot koko shoe begin run from Agboro! Na lie!


Na so my ears catch wetin dey worry bride!


Bride family na very religious, no nonsense ones. Na taboo make couple 'do the do' before wedding. Their mama na chief matron so na routine check say every thing dey Intact.


So na few days ago wey bride go visit groom to drop something for am. Normal, normal she nor dey enter groom house, na from gate and na wave, nothing like handshake!


*As belle fit transfer from carrier to saint!*


Na so bride say piss hollam and eyes turn am because she don parade Balogun, under hot sun alone as her Best lady miss her flight but go arrive that evening!


Anyways, groom say make bride enter, she use bathroom finish, he serve her food and chilled coke to balance.

They don court for like 1year but na first time wey dem go dey alone for lonely place.

Na so breeze begin blow from window come push the sister for brother lap. *Indian breeze!*


Sister come see the kain dimension wey brother carry! She come quick drop cup say she dey go house!


*Groom come carry horse begin pursue bride say make she nor go but she run pass the horse!*
*Na so bride begin sing Indian song, all the agboro tie wrapper follow climb bridge, climb BRT begin join bride to sing say make she nor Run from her groom!* sideeyes*


As na me dey hold the handfan wey dey fan our confused bride, and fear nor gree her tell her parents say she don see something wey pass her mouth! I say so wetin be the 'dimension' wey make you wan reconsider?
Bride say the dimension dey hooge! *Mschew!*


I say so nor be say Bro Joe get undertaking, na because he carry overdraft! You know the kain Treck wah Treck reach here, wey person dey waka like rabbit wey get constipation for road wey nor good, inside konko shoe wah nor know who comot the foam wah put inside for yard?!


Anor understand this generation. Be like na Baby food dey cause all these their meandering! If to say dem give dem hot akamu, wey hand na funnel and their head balance between grandmama lap, the heat for don help reset their obligate!


I fold my handfan comot the room go set my compass for the caterer wey dey use bad eye look my shoe!


Nne, be like Bro Joe use style look my side e! *ololololooo* I say nor worry, if ya bride nor wan comot, my off-shoulder Odi very very cozie! Aget shoulder pad inside my hand bag join! When i export you go yard, na you go dust slippers pick race!


Na as I look the aunty wey sidon my back, wah see all the entourage wey she use corset arrange, na there I see wetin Bro Joe dey eye o!


Aunty corset na Bro Joe new colleague for office wey pack angry bwess come follow dem celebrate!


I  shift my chair near pipu wey sidon near caterer. They say na table of the elders, I say na here all the lem go first land, e nor too late to begin mingle with our elders! Aftoroh, bride comot or not, elders must chao!


Oh thou elders, amongst thee shall I pitch my tentacles! Wisdom nor dey kee persin abeg!

*Wait mah laugh fest..... so the Bride refused to go ahead with the Marriage because the guy is too big?hahahahahahahahahaahahaha your pidgin wan finish me i dont laugh taya.