There are some people who take advantage of those around them and dont reward them for it at all....
Has anyone you looked up to ever used you to run chores like a house help over a period of time and did not reward you for it? Did they make you think you would get something but in the end you had to move on after it was clear that you were being used?
Let us discuss house helps in general...
How is it going presently with the house help you have? Is this house help male or female? Young or old?
Are you suspecting your spouse and the house help?
Has the house help become like family and no one even knows they are the house help?
Did the last house help do something so terrible that you made up your mind never to get house helps again?
Is the last house help your husbands baby mama?
Lets gist!
Mine acted drama before my landlady and neighbor while I was out then packed her bag and just came to tell me she was leaving and I just said okay cos I was about letting her go before... Too much to type. Since then, we're managing alone with two kids. Hoping to get a visiting help, come and ago....
ReplyDeleteNever have i lived with anybody that wasn't family.
ReplyDeleteI'm very expressive,I wouldn't cope.
I'm here for the gist tho
I used to stay in my cousin's shop and the only money that joined me and her was 1500. I stayed for more than 6momths. I'll have to call my elder ones to beg them for money to buy recharge card and sundry. One good Saturday, I packed all my belongings and travelled home to my parents. She didn't even have the guts to call me to know if I got home safe or notm
ReplyDeleteMy mum in law got one for me when I was expecting my second child. The pregnancy had lots of complications, so the girl came a day before I travelled to another state. The state had a good hospital that was caring for me, so I left her, my first child and husbandman. It was a one bedroom in a family compound. Came back like 1month or 2months later( which was 4days after birthing my child via Cs). Noticed this girl who was 15 at the time will completely undress or dress up in my then husband's presence. Ahhh.... I had to tell her to dress up in the bathroom after I'd endured that for awhile. Husband that i knew had issues with self control. I wasn't insecure, neither do I think anything happened while I was away... no. I stopped that tree before it grew brances
ReplyDelete🤐
DeleteObviously your husband slept with the girl. Why leave a young girl with your husband in a 1 bed flat...so wrong
DeleteLol a husband without self control and yet you don’t want to hold that husband accountable, it’s the 15yr old child you want to hold to higher standards.
DeleteYou married women are really married to some characters, embarrassing characters.
That means you know your husband is an unrepentant cheat but for Mrs you will die there .
Joker
🤐🤐🤐🤐
DeleteKeep deceiving your self. The girl's safety from your husband should be your main concern...
DeleteShe wrote my then husband meaning she left him.
Delete🙄🧐🧐🧐🤐🤐🤐, your then husband don fire dey go.
DeleteSome men will never make heaven, your wife is busy laying her life down to bring a child into this world and you're busy sleeping with someone else behind her back 🥴😏😏
Losing a parent or both at a young age not good at all, friends and family used me as househelp, God! 😢 The young shall grow. If you’re here today and anyone living under your roof is being maltreated by You, fear God o. Too many stories. These people knows their sons and husbands are sexually harassing these girls they’ll turn a blind eye. May God deliver all his own living in bondage because of food and accommodation
ReplyDeleteMay God heal you Bee, it is well dear ❤️❤️❤️
DeleteHouse help....I can't even try such because I hate to stress people.
ReplyDeleteStress people, get a house help and stress your life 🤷🏽♀️. The headache that comes with some househelps are incurable, I'll do my work small small.
DeleteSome siblings do use their younger siblings to serve their children, I had heard of some.
ReplyDeleteThe one I have currently is heaven sent. She has been a around for a while since 2019. Gained admission into uni last year and had to leave but comes around during holidays and has been around since this AASU strike. She’s a part of the family now. People like her are very very rare. She gives more than 100% into whatever she does. Very honest and straight forward. Whenever she goes to market she buys more than the things in list, she will say “Anty I priced other things well and used the extra money to buy this and that” after washing clothes she will pack money and come and give me, from me and my hubby pockets. Cleans and tidies every where. Even my son is so fond of her and always prays for her during prayers.
ReplyDeleteMay God continue to Bless you for me Zika.
I don’t think I will be able to have another help when she goes back to school. I just manage myself because the one I employed after she went to school initially started stealing from me had to let her go.
Seems like she does a little too much
DeleteTry to get her some help that comes and goes
Anon 16:57 she’s not living with me. She comes around 4times a week. She works at her own pace most of the time. I don’t even tell her what chores to do anymore. She just comes in and does her thing and leaves once she’s done.
DeleteI'm not surprised Yvonne. U sound like a good person; and very reasonable.
DeleteAwwww...so rare...God bless her o & God bless you too. If you were not kind to her, she would have long gone.
DeleteNa better wife material she be.
DeleteAt the young age of 13 i had the opportunity of becoming an aunty and so i started living with my sister and her husband. I worked like a slave. It affected my education so badly but i am brilliant and so i was pass my exams and years later got admission into the university.
ReplyDeleteAs an undergraduate my sisters will fight themselves over whose house i will be spending the holiday because i was quite useful and obidient and they were still making babies then.
Just last year our father died and i was still in school. My school fees yet to be paid, my sisters turned their backs on me. One even told me to stop to her house for no just cause. She went as far as heaping allegations on me. I schooled in the same city but i couldn't go to her house because i wasnt welcome. My mother confronted her and told her that she used me when i was relevant to her.
My bp started shooting up cause i couldn't stop worrying on what i did wrong nor how i would survive. Till this moment i have not received any support from her.
Recently, i started dancing to a new song because i am almost done with my programme God has a way helping when help seems far away and for that i am grateful.
I will never let anybody use me again.
E hugs. You will be alright. As a last born, even though I lost my mum early and spent most of my time with my older ones, dem no fit try, my dad was still watching with 3D eyes from every corner. My older ones are generally nice people but one was very temperamental but she is my cloest. I think I'm more like a daughter to her now.
DeleteAww Anon, you will be fine 🤍🤍🤍
DeleteI made a promise to myself not take any child as maid, my parents were poor, so relatives did me shege with house chores.
ReplyDeleteAfter my first baby via cs I managed ooo, had the second baby, I started business and need help. I employed women like me ooo, with children, infact is more we assist each other do my house chores and I pay monthly. Once you work with me for 2 years max , I assist you the way I can you go and start something on your own. I did it with 2 women, the 3rd took my kindness for stupidity, I still helped her and ended employing for now.
I work with my children now, hubby makes breakfast weekends and holidays, have days for soup, stew and anything we are cooking, I have mine, children 8 and 6 have theirs. Any day we have got so much to do, I have women that willingly send their older daughters to me to assist and I pay them at the end of day. I can't imagine maltreating someone else child cos she no dey hear whereas mine own no dey hear too.
You are smart with creating a system that works for you.
DeleteGod bless you for this.
DeleteMine is like a family member, I don tire sef. She tell people am her elder sister. She is now in higher institution, my daughter was like mum you and dad should tell me she is your adopted first daughter. Since her SS1.
ReplyDeleteJust praying for a good husband for her so she can go, she don try. We pay her, her school fees and dash her little money sometimes.
My husband not always around, I think that's why am still much comfortable with her. We are not perfect, so for a human she is not perfect but I manage, tolerate and always talk to her when there is need.
What’s she studying
DeleteAre you planning a good career for her so she won’t go from relying on you to relying on her husband
This happened back in 2016 when I went for my youth service. I come from a very comfortable family but as at that time my dad had financial crisis so he couldn’t pay for my accommodation in ph city.
ReplyDeleteMy aunty from my mom side lived there and was willing to accommodate me for the roughly 9 months. This is a woman my mum has been helping her and her family, my dad even paid her school fees and all one time like that.
When i started living with them after a while she said I should be washing her husband trousers and kids clothes, later they said I was suppose to be washing bathroom every Saturday, another time she said I needed t wake up to bath and prepare her kids for school there was a day she sent me to go to the market for her in the rain sef. Her sis in law stylishly told me that they were users but I didn’t get on time.
There was a day the husband woke me up to buy him bread at past 12 o, me that will buy milk, noodles, eggs etc after I receive allowance they will still hide the tea and noodles so I won’t eat it , it’s only their kids and themselves they bring it out for.
There was a day I called my mom crying becos of something they did then, my dad felt so bad but his friend that promised to help has he has a bq he wasn’t using tried to sleep with me first before he would release the key.
Talk plenty sha, the day I finished service I was so happy the next day I packed my things and left.
This my aunty and her husband fell into a very hard time and they kept calling me for help even my mom too which we rendered them, even recently I paid her son’s waec fees. I still render her assistance anytime she needs within my capacity. This life table turns but people forget that it PAYS TO BE GOOD
Anon 17:14, I'm trying to understand how asking you to help around the house was being cruel to you. If my child goes to a relatives place even for holidays, I expect that child to ease the family'burden by helping out and not to increase their burden by adding one extra human being to care for without ease. I understand that they didn't have any help and when you were probably not using your church mind, they had to ask you. You didn't need them to ask and the fact that you are complaining about it, surprises me..Anyway, if you don't have a family of your own yet, when you do so, you can come back and rewrite this your story. This is the reason why some people actually prefer to keep extended family far away and rather bring friends closer.
DeleteSeems you’re a spoilt kid. Who was supposed to wash the bathroom? Or bathe the kids?. They were evil for hoarding food sha. I don’t want to believe the 12 you’re talking about is midnight cos which shop is open by that time ?.
DeleteNa una type be her aunty, before she came wasn’t the aunty coping? Me can’t even allow even my maid to be washing bathrooms every week.
DeleteAbt 10 years ago I stayed with my uncle and his family while serving, not once did they burden me even when I buy things from my allowance they always tell me to stop it but I kept doing it. During my stay with them they treated me like their son.
Today their daughter is serving in my state and if you say the way I spoil her ehn, I can never forget how are parents treated me never.
18:12 do you know me? Why label me a spoilt Kid? Did you walk in my shoes? Even calling me a liar anybody who lived or live in yam zone ph knows it’s full of mallard you have shops there and they don’t sleep.
DeleteI shared my experience una done label me.
Don’t mind the my dear
DeleteYou even mentioned them waking you up at midnight for errand and still madams were not convinced
18:12 why would you ask anyone to wash your bathroom nog to talk of your niece
DeleteWe didnt even let maids do that and they were getting paid
Wash your own bathroom pls
Anon 20:22 , you had ‘maids’ more than 1 i guess. And they were not washing bathroom, so you were washing the bathroom all by yourself and you still pay maids. So what do you pay them for? What do they do?
DeleteUna get time, all of you complaining about washing bathroom 🥴. I wash my bath every day after bathing, I spray immediately, wait few minutes and wash. Shikena !
DeleteNo worry, when all of una come abroad, you go understand and dey alright. What's there in washing your bath
Pray tell, who wd have washed the bathroom she was obviously using? Robots? Or is it the little children that still needed assistance to prepare for school? What was wrong with asking her to do that? Will the bathroom wash itself or not be washed at all? Abeg, that one no jus follow.
Delete03:23 she wouldn’t be complaining if it was her bathroom
Delete22:54 they do work in the common areas. Like cleaning parlor kitchen and guest bedrooms. They don’t clean the inner areas like our bedrooms. They do help with food prep but not the actual real cooking
Delete@ Anon why are you explaining yourselves to these ones? See that one so bold to call someone you don’t know spoilt.. people that come here and complain that their husbands don’t assist them with house chores..
DeleteI never knew helping in a house you stay is been cruel, I think you are been paranoid, they did nothing to you,
ReplyDeleteAs the saying goes, na person wey wear shoes know were e dey pain am!!
DeleteIf you use being will you die?
DeleteI went for long vacation holidays at an uncle's place, the wife believes poverty is transferable.
ReplyDeleteI cleaned with her maid then, fetched water like tomorrow no dey, worked our asses of like donkeys and only after her children have finished eating, the leftovers, she will check to see if she can add small from pot for us, slept in passage.
Her hubby was not comfortable but he wants a happy wife so he ignores.
One morning, I was fetching water while traders were going to markets and continued till evening, one man while returning from market asked me * is it since that morning*, I nodded, the man said " hmmm, that my aunty does she cook wearing cord lace".
Immediately I drop the gallon, I went straight to her that evening, I am going home, I no do holidays again. She begged me to wait till weekend so she can buy holidays things for me, I said no, go passage, pack my things, she said ok, mk I take transport money, I said no, my house is like 1hr trekking, I trekked home that night, when my family saw me they were surprised, after my story, they laughed ,I no go holidays again
Sorry but this your story is do funny 😹😹😹😹😹😹
DeleteI know YAM ZONE in Ogbunabali people stay there so late. My friend use to live there while we were working in PH arround superboard
ReplyDeleteNigerian women are wicked sha. Kai
ReplyDeleteNot all. My mom was so nice to people she practically spoilt them and most of them ended up being ungrateful and same with my dad. There are both good people and bad people everywhere. If you are tagging Nigerian women and you are a Nigerian, you are only cursing yourself and your generations.
DeleteMy mom told me when she was young back in the 1970s her aunt my grandfather sister will wake her up at 05:30am to wash vegetables, fetch water and do all house chores. My mom was only 12 or a teenager at that time. She is in hers 60s now and always remember that terrible holiday she lived with her aunt. She told me she got up one morning and said she wants to go home.
ReplyDeleteso she would have been waiting for the aunty to do all the work abi?
Delete