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Not new. A dude left me cos he said l was too independent
ReplyDeleteNot new my sister. Besides who knows if you weren’t trying to control her by first off, telling her not to work 😒😏
DeleteThat's the thing with this frail egoed gender.
DeleteTo a strong independent lady who is financially well off and has her life well off, these men realise they're not actually bringing anything extra to the table as the supposed 'head.
They are always intimidated.
If they cannot suppress her, make sure she leaves her job, alienate her from family and friends, they run.
Their ego cannot handle not being the one she depends on. That way they can exert some form of control.
Because they know in reality, in terms of values, intellect, personality etc, they have nothing to offer, nothing that will make the kind of lady I described above stay.
Yes oo naija men hate it. Me I hide my money from hubby and collect his. If not he’ll give it outside.
ReplyDeleteLOL ,I Feel you
DeleteYou sharp pass blade
Delete👍
DeleteContinue celebrating rubbish. The day the husband find out and reacts, that's when you'll come crying foul and writing long chronicles about stingy men and all
DeleteI'm in thesame situation at the moment and I think he will leave. I honestly don't need anything from him but my self respect but he is feeling very intimidated even when I've not given any reason to.
ReplyDeleteThat said I'm not giving my life up for anybody. I'm used to a life style and prefer going higher. I'm having a very strong rethink.
Just ask anyways. Make him feel needed if u want him to stay
Delete.if u feel u don't want him n are above him n he can't contribute meaningfully to your life, then let him go
There are so many things a woman doesn’t have even if she has money
DeleteIf he can’t find a way to contribute something, he has issues
Women need massages, dinners, someone to go to places with, kisses hugs affection prayer partner, someone to go to places of worship with, to go on a vacation (even if it’s her money), someone to cook some mind blowing rice and stew that she didn’t make, someone to raise her kids with, someone to get her pregnant and love on her while pregnant, someone to go on doctors visits, someone to gist and laugh with, to jog with, go to the gym, to exchange business ideas, to execute business ideas, to attend weddings, to grow with etc etc etc
I don't put any pressure on him, I do encourage him just like 13:57 says just to make sure he got busy. He is in between jobs at the moment and I'm trying all I can to support him and not make him feel low.
Delete13;57 my friends and sisters do all and far more than you have mentioned.
DeleteDo men raise kids? When do they see the kids to raise them and what do they even know to impact them? Or you want to pretend that 'raising the kids' is not seen as the woman's responsibility including every aspect of the home here. So for someone like me who makes good money, what exactly is the man bringing to the table other than a penis? Or just to marry because society expects it?
Who will take care of me? I will take care of my self. Children are not my pension plan.
16:28 it depends on the man is all I can say
DeleteMy dad is as old school at they get but he sure raised us too. Yes he didn’t cook but that’s where it stopped. He did school runs, home work, play time, pick up assorted fun eats, prayer time, wake up time, bed time routine, gisting time, hold the kids while mum cooks time, watch tv together, all the driving all the time. So I can boldly say a good Nigerian man brings more than just his tool.
He raises the kids with you. When you cook, it’s good to have someone entertain and watch the kids. Although I prefer a man that cooks of helps with the cooking but there are other things he brings
@16:28.
DeleteExactly why some men leave some women who think they have it all a.k.a. women who see men only as a P. There are men like that too who have it all and are spoilt for choice of women and see them all only as a V.
And yes, men raise children. Men, not Playboys who look for women looking for P whether in marriage or otherwise.
Reading through the comments, it's obvious how ignorant females are these days and it's an irony, that in the age at which information is literally at the fingertip, ignorance is at it's peak.
Delete@poster. You can't separate men from their Ego. It's not toxicity, it is what it is. A pet tiger is an anomaly and so is a man that is being 'taken care of'. You keep a man as a tool, barely contributing or pulling his weight, he's going to feel emasculated, weak, useless and that directly translate to the relationship.
Men need to feel like men, the Ego needs to be attended to., and it doesn't take a lot... Asking for help here and there, advice on decisions..,stuffs like that and you'll have him home bound but relatively satisfied .
Relationship is a game of subtleties, something Nigerian females are woefully incapable of and fail regularly at.
Anyway, what do I know sef .
You obviously don't know much as you think you do as a man. Trying to denigrate Nigerian women who have put up with a lot of bullshit from men from time immemorial. What kind of information do you use your own fingertips for? Because a man who always needs his ego pandered to is not evolved and has infantile tendencies. A real man with information has self control and discipline and is not selfish. He seeks to build something lasting and enduring and makes the appropriate compromises. He knows how to and why he should enjoy his partner. So remain in your ego prison Mr Man. But don't cry wolf when another man like you treats your daughter like trash. Or are you one of the dumbos that hate female children?
DeleteThat's his opinion. The word that is improper there is "control," that sounds like witchcraft, manipulations.
ReplyDeleteA man finds a wife and finds a good thing and obtains favor from God.
So if a man thinks that a lady won't be submissive to him, there is nothing wrong in taking a walk, instead of marrying her and divorcing or killing someone.
The character of submission; humility is very important in marriage.
And to the ladies, if you cannot submit to a man, do not marry him. It is a disaster.
Please can you explain your 3rd line more?
Delete13:11 Obviously your Bible came in bits and pieces. Read to the end of that passage it says BOTH parties MUST SUBMIT TO EACH OTHER.
DeleteNot this lion in the jungle rubbish narrative you lot are always pushing.
I tell people when it comes to this issue, no need to even look at the Bible
DeleteIf you need the Bible to teach you common decency you’re already in trouble
We all know how to be good people
@19:01
DeleteWe need the Bible. If you are not reading yours, you are missing a lot. @13:11, one takeaway from your comment is; "If you know you will not submit to a man, do not marry him." That is pure word. And it goes both ways, If you, a man knows that you can't submit to a particular lady, in love, do not marry her.
20:06 I’ve read all of it
DeleteYou didn’t need the Bible to know how to be kind
Love your neighbor as yourself
Lol
ReplyDeleteMy ex husband that left me because I am black nko? After 2 years of marriage he suddenly realised I was black and doesn't want black kids because of racism, he divorced me to go marry a white woman that gave him biracial kids.
ReplyDeleteEpic low esteem man at best! Omg
DeleteHis children are still blacks, that’s the race they represent so he still can’t run from himself.
DeleteHmmm
DeleteSounds like the juju for him eye clear. Anyway, what do i know
DeleteHe must be mentally unbalanced.
DeleteHe is sick for hating on himself.
Delete@chilove Peter, so the white woman used juju on him too? because last I heard he and the white woman are divorced too. That one took him to the cleaners and took everything from him and he was begging to come back to me. God forbid! I am married with kids now.
DeleteYes! If u guys are unaware, u know. A man that loves a woman wants to feel needed and like he is contributing to her life. Not every man wants mrs. Independent that he cannot provide for unless he is just using the lady. Painful truth
ReplyDeleteIt’s my true
DeleteDon’t use the men you know as yardstick
Move out of your normal area and meet men of substance
DeleteIt’s not true
Don’t use the men you know as yardstick
Move out of your normal area and meet men of substance
The man is an olodo. Like most naija men he doesn't understand that
ReplyDeleteBeing submissive is not same as control. That being said, I understand him wanting to feel needed by his woman. Hope ladies are taking notes o. If u want a man to stay then invent a need for him in ur life. Men like to feel needed. Even when they complain of too much billing, they like the sense of responsibility lowkey
The guy is quite 'firmous' on LinkedIn. He caps a lot
DeleteLol at firmous
DeleteHe seemed to want to trend
This thing with some men is inexplicable.
ReplyDeleteIn my case I don't even have money but someone said he is feeling intimidated because of the way I carry myself.
Have I ever disrespected you? No.
What do men want?
Date someone that likes your kind of way
Delete🤣🤣🤣
DeleteLike my ex that said I behave like I am the most beautiful girl, that he knows I am beautiful o but why do I carry myself like I am the most beautiful
Your own will find you, cus my husband has never made a statement like that, he loves me just the way I am
Push up (original)
Eyahhhh he was looking for someone finely with a generous sprinkle of inferiority complex. Ekwensu.
DeleteMy dad told me once that I should see myself as a princess and that stuck. I carry myself like royalty. I have to love myself so I know when I'm loved. I never let anybody talk down on me or make me feel worthless.
DeleteI'm really trying not to be miss independent in this my relationship too but I really don't know how to ask him. It's easier to ask from someone I don't like but you see that person I so much like I hold myself back.
ReplyDeleteIf he so wants to give you, why should you have to ask
DeleteDon't be a mumu. A man who genuinely loves you doesn't wait for your to ask.
DeleteI repeat he doesn't wait for you to ask.
Your self esteem is very low please go back to your parent for an upgrade of your self esteem.
ReplyDeleteAre you minding some 9ja men? You have it's a problem. You don't have, it's a problem.. Thank God I don't even have their time. Team Ethiopia 🇪🇹 all the way.
ReplyDeleteWizkid FC
Proudly TIV
That is it ooo. When you have, they feel inferior. You don't have they say you are not bringing anything to the table but v. So there is no pleasing them. Las las they will do whatever they want to do. Only the few ones with values or the few who fear God are different. Mind you I am not talking about those over religious ones who are actually very wicked at heart.
DeleteLow self esteem at its peak...Oga your loss
ReplyDeleteNa waooo for wa wa
ReplyDeleteMost African men, especially non educated are on this seat
ReplyDeleteNo be by education o! There are many educated men on the seat too.
DeleteAbeg! Men will look for whatever excuse to walk away. Abi May Edochie's case no teach una anything? Humble woman that probably was one of those who cooked fresh food for oga and would make sure she's at home to attend to his needs for over 10 years, he humiliated her in front of the whole world. Was she forming independent?
ReplyDeleteWhen I advise successful women not to marry men they are doing better than, people think it's pride or encouraging gold digging. It's not. It's because of issues like this. Many women who would have been very successful have had their lives truncated by an insecure man's ego. Even those who are still doing very well would be pretending it's the man providing just to protect his ego.
These insecure men ALWAYS act out. If they don't make you feel small with their wicked words, it's beating or cheating on you with women who treat them like gods for the small change he's giving them.
If the woman is not doing anything, the same man that posted this rubbish would call her "hungry" or "gold digger".
Exactly. Your advice has always been and is on point. Let they who have ears hear.
DeleteLet's not forget Osinachi so soon. Women, shouldn't go for a pet project of a man after God has taken you it of Egypt.
DeleteI've dated someone that was intimidated by my education. I have a grad degree but he stopped at high school. I didn't care, and was trying to encourage him to go back to school. One day we had an argument and he used my education to insult me. I had to step back and leave the relationship. Imagine someone born in the abroad and couldn't bring himself together to at least get a college degree.. like the barest minimum. In this day & time when Nigerians are packing degrees left right center, dominating the sciences, technology, engineering, even arts. Leaving their country to start over, hustle for admission, scholarship, funding...just to go to school. I know how many times I typed congratulations on Linkedin this year alone for a Nigerian. Yet you no get degree upon say them born you here and you're intimidated by mine? Naaah bro
ReplyDeleteWhat just bothers me is that I actually meet people like him
DeleteI’m like God why. My ears don’t need to hear some of the nonsense I’ve heard from inferior men.
I've been dating one. Just to see, because I believe in human beings as people, not just for whom they appear to be. Omo I don tire. Every thing I do wahala. My English na problem. Sey I read book too much. Does not like discussing issues with me, such as politics or even the relationship. Ignores me most times. Doesn't even determine I have needs. He made me realize how wrong I was about humans and how I have short changed myself. So I can't continue anymore. For this short period I have been with him, I have been miserable. Enough! I really agree now with the anon up there that says we should never settle for less. When you settle for less, you get even less than you bargained for.
Delete20:54 Thank God you are experienceing it yourself. Because if someone advice you you will say they are capping rubbish as per na you first to fall in love in this life.
DeleteThey MUST always drag you to their level of inferiority because their insecurity will not tolerate you being better than them in anyway.
Imagine me who likes to discuss a wide variety of topics from sports to fashion to AI to natural therapies, then one dunce will just be looking at me anyaya like a muppet tryna drag me fo his level of emptyheadness.
You wanna be head so bad, but you have nothing but oxygen upstairs to offer.
Can never be me.
Ever.
Low self esteem at work🤣🤣.
ReplyDeleteMy wife is broke but she isn’t submissive one bit, she is a housewife but her family are well to do.
ReplyDeleteThis woman acts like miss independent, even the days we have issues and I will want to use not giving her money to pin her down.
Madam won’t ask me for a dime and I wonder where she gets money from. It’s that day she will cook all manner of soups and assorted, act more independent sef.
Last last na me go apologize come still double her personal allowance and the days she knows she is wrong she will apologize.
Hahaha. Lol. Lovely woman.
DeleteMay God continue to bless your union.
I love your wife bo jare
DeleteThank God you said she apologizes when she’s wrong
Push up (original)
See all talking like saints that don't depend on men out there. How many of you lots can truly claim independent woman? How many?
ReplyDeleteLolll upgrade your circle if you can. Every single one of my friends is working class.
DeleteDepend on men for what? Are we paralyzed??? Or did we go to school to crack palmnuts?
Lollll you must be a joker. Try and mingle with successfull women so what I'm saying doesn't sound like rocket science.
Lol 00:06 the depend on a man talk is one I’ve not even bothered myself with
DeleteWe are more concerned about being careful not to attract men that want our money and lovely here is talking about depend on a man
3:37 as in, is this not laughable? Depend on him as per what? Maybe if the woman's hands and head are for decoration... Ehen, then I can understand them waiting for a man to feed you and buy you pants and pads.
DeleteNot women like us.
I said not women like us.
Those type of men are not the type we want nor deserve, you are very welcome to them.
When a woman writes here that her husband and her live in peace on her income or mainly so, what do female Bvs say in comments on her post.
ReplyDeleteWhen men date and marry women as described in the post, who are the first to mock him, is it not women. And where the woman is clearly happy, who are the first to make her feel diabolically charmed, not women?
As there is inferiority complex on part of some men in face of a blessed woman, there are women whose blessedness make them have domineering superiority complex.
I remember one lady who could not understand why one her male friends was not overawed by her comfort or was not begging for money from her as her other male friends.
Men are natural hunters and providers, esp the igbos.. my dad inspite of my mum's prowess in business enjoys paying for something as little as nail polish... ! I,m a proffessional, earn a relatively good salary we got married while I was in school , so he took up my training for the later part of my studies,, when I ist secured a job, , I was so happy , I sent a percentage to hubby, Stella this man returned my money , and accused me of behaving somehow since I started making money, I tried paying for lesson fees of my children and it brought fight! I stopped ooo!! He pays for everything, I just use my money for investment and my baby girl life!! We are in the same proffession and he earns higher than me , but the Igbo man in him will allow him ask me for anything, so I use my money for investment for both of us and our children. Sometimes I try explaining to him that we are partners, and he rolls his eyes...I use the money to buy him gift, I cannot come and kill my self
ReplyDeleteYou just described the men in your life
DeleteNot all are like this. Some actually enjoy spending yours too
They enjoy spending yours to fill they get empowered enough to live up to their responsibilities and then dump you for who will let them be a man. You better be wise.
DeleteAs long as he enjoys providing for you, I see it as his way of expressing love. He is very supportive of you. You are a lucky woman.
Delete20:11 this comment doesn’t let people come into partnerships with clear minds
DeleteIf he only wants you for money, trust me that’s not the only thing wrong with him
I hate women like this.i left my wife when she got a bigger job.i can't cope with such women.u must be under me or u fuck off.
ReplyDeleteYou have a very low self esteem as a man. Look at how hateful you sound just by remembering your ex wife. You have issues you can fix, but your ego will not even allow you agree that you have a problem.
DeletePlenty urgent 2k girls dey na. Perfect for your level and class. 🤭
DeleteLol you just want to see the replies you will get
DeleteAnon19:49 I have just one word for you, you are an EVU. Gosh low self esteem at its peak.
DeleteThis one is even better atleast he let her go peacefully. On sunday, my boyfriend almost beat me up . He got angry because he was frustrated his father was calling him to come home as it was getting late. Man is almost 40 yet lives at home. He was at my place and just suddenly got angry as he was about to leave and started saying all sorts of rubbish .I know every part of him was itching to give me serious beating. Thankfully I just kept quiet before Man will pour his frustrations on me. And it is not as if I have all the money In the world. But I am able to meet my needs without asking him for a dime because I know he doesn't have. Yet I loved and respected him. God just wanted to expose him to me. He knelt and begged me to forgive me, even said I love you for the first time just to tell me how remorseful he was. Though he didn't hit me but he was sooo aggressive and rough handled me.The only thing that saved me was that I kept quiet and didnt abuse him. Anyways I cant forgive him. So it's over.
ReplyDeleteIf you like let it not be over and go back to him 40 year old man who is still trying to arrange his life at his age. Throwing tantrums like a toddler and pouring frustration on an innocent woman. Una sabi do bend and select from dustbin sha. Na so man scarce?
DeleteYou have no business"dating" a forty year old who lives with his parents like girl what is wrong with your self esteem?
DeleteRespect is earned and that kind of a man hasn't earned it even from a desperate woman. All through your narration, you didn't mention that you have broken of this situation and you really ought to. You are the problem of the relationship because you are forcing an arrangement that should not exist.
Na wa for una
DeleteLife happens to people
He can live at home at 40 and be decent
The one described by 22:10 does not sound decent at all. Pouring the frustrations of his sorry life on her.
Delete