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Wednesday, June 08, 2022

Lady Narrates How A Nigerian Man She Met In The UK Harassed Her Intimately In The Car And Left Her In The Middle Of Nowhere

Some Nigerian Men dont know when to put a stop to their dirty behavior..

This story is very Interesting, please read!












"A NIGERIAN MAN I MET HARASSED AND LEFT ME IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE


A couple of days ago, I went out shopping in town. Since I do not have a car or drive here in the UK, I tend to walk a lot. I take the bus sometimes when the place is too far to walk to. I tried my brother's bike when I got here but it's too much of a male design for me so I abandoned it. Riding it is difficult and the area is hilly.


On the day I met Emmah, the Nigerian man who would hurt me in the worst possible way, I went out to get a few items I needed. On my way back, I took a bus and alighted in the area where the shops are clustered. Stores are usually in the same area and houses too are usually in the same area. It's a major feature of settlements in the West. This means going to the shop involves some distance to the city centre.


 I normally walk to the stores using my Google map since I am new to the area. Unfortunately for me, my phone went off and I didn't know how to find where I live that day. I know where I live but I needed to know how to get there or which bus to take to get home. So I approached a few people to let me use their phones until I found a nice young lady who helped me.


Midway, I realised that I needed to get groceries for the sauce I had intended to make that evening. So instead of dropping at home, I alighted on the way to get the items. The moment I got down, I saw two black African men in a car waving at me. I waved back and realized that they were waiting for me to cross over. So when I did, I said hello to them and we exchanged a few words. They offered to wait for me to finish shopping so that they drop me off at home. I said thanks and said I will be back. To me, I saw fellow African brothers who are nice enough to want to do me a favour, so I agreed (this was my first mistake). 


We exchanged numbers upon reaching my house and they left.


The next day, I received a call from one of them; the one who was driving and seem to be the more well-to-do of the two. He said I should come with him to a King ceremony being organized by fellow Nigerians. And I told him that since I don't know him, it won't be advisable to go to the program with him. To my surprise, his tone at the other end immediately changed. And that made me pause. I didn't understand why he will get angry over such a reasonable point. So I asked him why he was talking to me in that manner, made up an excuse and hanged up. I kept wondering what kind of person would assume such a tone simply because his invitation was turned down?


This was the second red light that I ignored.


Fast forward to the Saturday the incident happened, my brother traveled and I was all alone in the house. Although I tried to make plans for myself, all failed.


 The only friends I had were my brothers friends. Some had work to do and others had traveled. My Ghanaian friends I could invite over already had their weekend planned. So although I didn't want to be in a house all by myself, I ended up alone. There was a wedding nearby that my brother and I were invited to by different people. So I decided to go to that wedding. But I didn't want to go alone. I am new to the area. Going to the wedding reception alone meant sitting all by myself. So I called one of my brother's female friends. Unfortunately, she had work that evening and was closing late. So she couldn't go with me. 


So imagining how I would be sitting in a midst of strangers alone glancing left, right and centre, I decided not to go to the wedding anymore. So I called Emmah- the one I am writing about - and told him that I will go with him to the outdooring party he invited me to. Although my conscience kept screaming NO NO NO in my head, I simply countered it by telling myself "how would I know people and how things are done around here if I don't go out? Moreover, I really don't want to be alone this evening."


He said he would pick me up at 4pm. The 4pm became 4:30 pm and the 4:30 pm became 5pm. He showed up at 5 something. Inside my head, I knew I was making a mistake. A man who doesn't respect time is a red sign. So if he is rude and doesn't respect time or keep his word, those are things to actually take a clue from. But I didn't. Or I did but refused to listed to my own advice. So I went to the program with him.


The moment I got into his car, he said he was now going to change. I said "ah, are you not coming from home?" He said yes, but he is in the middle of moving from his home. Inside my head, I knew he was lying but it was none of my business so I kept my thoughts to myself. He didn't know that I knew guys who live at shabby places take their "brothers'" nice apartments to take girls to. I haven't had any relationship talk with him whatsoever, I had no intention of sleeping with him (he isn't my taste even slightly) and I knew I wasn't in a position to be impressed (wasnt interested). So, I minded my business.


After he changed and we were on our way again, this time round to the place we were going, we started chatting a bit. That was necessary because he didn't know a thing about me and I didn't know him either. During our conversation, I realized that he has a partner and two beautiful kids. Yet they were not enough for him so he thought he could lie his way into my panties (he obviously didn't know who was sitting beside him. I will later learn from friends that he is in the habit of approaching women and when they refuse his advances, he gets angry and misbehave). 


Funny how many men assume the only thing they could have with you is sex when they meet you. He lives with his wife and kids. That's why he couldn't change at home. I took the opportunity to informed him that I was not interested in sleeping with him. I thought that would be enough to stop his advances but it didn't. He proceeded to ensure that each statement he made came with touching my thighs. That made me extremely uncomfortable and I asked him to stop more than four times. But he wouldn't.


This guy kept touching my legs. The women here understand what I am saying. It is something pervasive old men especially do to young women they give lifts to. It used to happen to me a lot in Ghana so I know what exactly it is. It is sexual harassment and should never be tolerated. I finally said don't touch my leg with a bit of anger in my voice with glaring eyes. Because by that time, I was actually getting angry.


Thankfully, we finally arrived at the party and I didn't have to deal with his harassment anymore. When we arrived, he asked one of his friends to come and meet us outside. He delayed while his friend took me inside and sat me down at a different table. Of course, once again, I understood perfectly what was going on. Since he has a partner and the crowd we were joining - a Nigerian gathering - knew his partner, he couldn't be seen walking with me into the program or sitting at the same table with me. Since I didn't intend to sleep with a "married" man like him, I didn't mind.


I loved the table I joined. An awesome man and his beautiful wife with their lovely twin kids and some really fine gentlemen. The program was lovely. The biggest African gathering I have ever seen abroad. I could not believe that so many Nigerians lived in the area. And that's not all. They said whatever I was seeing was not even 10% of the population in the area. Wow. I was happy to come out in spite of all the troubles. After about three hours, my new Nigerian friend said we should leave. So I said bye bye to my newer friends, exchanged Facebook names with them and entered the car not knowing that I was in for the biggest shock of my life!


This guy, this uncouth beast of man, this bloated bread on water decided to do the worst! He started shouting at me in the car. He waited till he drove away from everyone and started shouting. Shouting oooo. Hmmmmm. I couldn't even believe it. He said how dare me give my phone number to men at a party that he brought me to. Ehhh! Someone who hasn't had any sexual transaction with me, someone I even told on the way that I have a partner, someone who I am not a girlfriend or wife to oooo. I couldn't believe my eyes and ears. He said because I gave my number to men at the party (which I didn't even do but that doesn't matter), I should get down from his car and find my way home. A place where I don't know anyone, not to talk of knowing the road or where I was oooo. In the middle of no where. My brother had traveled. My brother's closest friend too had traveled. There was no one for me to call to come for me. So I insisted that he took me from my home and needed to return me to where he picked me from. Or better still, drop me off at a bus stop or police station.


This guy was violent. I had to call the police. And that call is one of the hardest calls I have made in my life. I couldn't tell the police where I was. When I finally found something on my Google map, this guy started driving off again. He drove into the road and there were no signs for me to tell the police where I was.


 Anytime they send a signal to my phone to find me via location, my phone refused to work with the link. The security features refused to give the police access to my location (I will check that out later). Ehhhh it was a nightmare. Whenever I tried to read a road sign to the police over the phone, he will increase the volume in the car. I will in turn decrease it and he will increase it again. It became a fight. He wouldn't stop the car to let me down. Hmmmmm


Everything was my mistake. The police asked me how did I get into the car. I told them I got into the car willingly. He invited me to a program. They asked where did I know him from. I said I met him on the road. They asked how long have I known him, I said for about three days. They said I should tell them the car I was sitting in. I said I didn't know the car brand or name. They asked for the car number, I didn't know that one either. Ehhh! Me a student and an activist oooo.


 I was the one who placed myself in that situation although all my instincts advised against it. The police asked him to stop the car. He refused to stop. He drove as long as he wanted and finally agreed to drop me in the middle of no where. I could only see bushes. Hmmmmm.


I waited in the cold and the police stayed with me on the phone. Thinking about it now, what if my phone didn't have battery and what if I didn't put the phone on battery saver? Two police vehicles finally came and the police on the phone disconnected. I was asked for details of everything that happened and taken home. The police came with me to check the locks etc to see if I would be safe. The guy had threatened that he was going to show me because I disrespected him in front of everyone. He pig said no one disrespects him so he would do something terrible to me. This person who didn't pay my bride price oooo. He was so angry that he threatened my life... for disrespecting him. Hmmmmmm


I am safe and sound. But my mind keeps playing everything back. How did I put myself in that situation and how could such a thing happen? Would a Ghanaian man live me in the middle of no where because I gave my phone number to men at a party he took me too? These are just questions that keep running through my mind. Would I have been in that situation if I was more careful? I trusted him because I thought we are all African but that was a huge mistake. Very huge mistake.


PS: Sharing this story is my small way of ensuring that other women do not experience the same thing. I have also started a campaign to create more awareness in the area. In case you live in the Dorset Area in the UK, please avoid this guy. He drives a Mazda CX-5 and his phone number is 07938391***.


Shalom."







54 comments:

  1. Some people are just plain unspeakable.
    Who raised these men??
    How did they turn out to be someone else's nightmares??
    Are there trophies for being a s*vmbag??
    Why do men especially go craycray over sex??!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did the police get him arrested … please give an update. Also what is his full name please

      Delete
    2. This Nigeria p*g needs to be deal with,you see someone the first time and you want to Bamba, he must run kataka soon 😂

      Delete
  2. I love how you took the blame 100%.

    You were too needy with a touch of helplessness.
    I wonder why you couldn't go to a wedding party alone. How else do you want to socialise and meet new people huh?

    Your need to be seen as having a partner in public superseded your security consciousness as a woman.
    What if that guy killed you nko?
    Abeg ooh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yea this. Thank God she is safe. Shame on the man.

      Delete
    2. Shame on the man if this story is true. I stay in the UK and I work with ghanians, this people see us as inferior to them and they gang up against Nigerians. I have been reported severally at work over things that never happened, thank God for camera that vindicated me this last time. I am a female but I am sorry I don't truly believe this stories based on my experiences with ghanians here in UK .

      Delete
    3. I know our men misbehave too o but....

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    4. I have had similar experience with a Nigerian man in Nigeria, so I believe her. I am Nigerian. I was in shock. Here no police to call. Dropped at a secluded place, abi should I say abandoned, at night over a little tiff with someone I thought was at least a friend. Now anytime I remember I still shudder. I had trust issues before, but now I trust even less. Thanks to this lady for relating her experience for people to learn.

      Delete
    5. I loved the way my friend took a guy’s car picture and send to me and told me if I don’t hear from her in 5hrs I should call her to hell.

      Always make sure your phone is charged, always get address or post code of where u’re not sure of



      Lillysimple

      Delete
  3. Nawa ooo, which kind risk be this one naa, Just thank your stars he didnt do something much more worse than this. Jeezzz!

    ReplyDelete
  4. The thing is that most Nigerians have a warped mentality about cars and actually adore cars and want to be adored once they posses one. Once a man acquires a ride, he feels he has become "rich and important," and can get away with a lot of naughty and even criminal behaviors. It shocks them when they meet people, especially women who have a different opinion/value about what constitute life. '
    A Nigerian man once offered me an SUV and I rejected it. He was aghast, he couldn't believe what just happened. He repeated that it was a gift and I said that I know and I was not interested. Now as at that time I did not have a ride.
    Imagine if I took that gift, how that would have emboldened him to make advances and even attempt a rape if refused. We ladies have to conduct ourselves in a way that is above reproach and not give lecherous men the opportunity to molest or demean us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For me, I won't reject an suv o. I just want to say the truth.

      Delete
    2. @17:09
      Then, if you shall receive every gift given, just know that those depraved men will demean and molest you. You should be able to have and demonstrate scruples and integrity to have earn your respect.

      Delete
    3. Fake story. I can recognise Nigerian English anywhere with my eyes closed and this narrative is littered with Naija English. ‘Cross over’ is just one example. Not to talk of, hanged up etc. Many other examples abound.

      Naija men can be problematic but these fake stories are becoming too many. Lying to trend and putting our own down is really just pitiful.

      Delete
    4. I believe the person is a ghanian but I don't believe the story. Ghanians in UK always look for any means to demean Nigerians.

      Delete
  5. Fear is a gift.
    Instincts should never be ignored, no matter how far-fetched they may seem.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yeah sometimes you mind can’t conclude someone is as terrible as he presents

    ReplyDelete
  7. This has nothing to do with him being Nigerian so the question about whether a Ghanaian man will leave her in the middle of no where makes no sense. While I empathize with her and applaud her for calling him out so others don't fall victim, her generalization wasn't necessary.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you @16:35. Well said. After her trauma, she want to plug it into the never ending Nigeria-Ghana internet squabble. When the people good at that start, her important message would be lost.

      Delete
  8. thank God you called the police. if you like speak my language, I dont let my guards down at all and we are not brothers or sisters till I feel safe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear even if the person is speaking in tounges, I NEVER let my guards down.

      Delete
  9. What if he’s not really Nigerian but just decided to sell u that identify. For all I know every info from that guy is false and shldnt be taken seriously

    ReplyDelete
  10. Instincts should never be ignored.
    Since I started believing in my instincts,life has been alot easier for me.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Two things that I can never do in life are taking lift and picking things like money on the road. Just yesterday as I was going for school runs,I saw 1k notes like 5 ... Hmmm! Na so l pass am dey go my way.. lmmediately, a woman behind me bend and picked. I was shuu..some people get mind ooh

    ReplyDelete
  12. The wife has heard! Details later

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The wife will probably hate you and blame you because he has gone to lie to her

      Delete
  13. I live in Germany and I will always advise people to face front and not say someone is your brother or sister because you are from the same country. There are dangerous people everywhere. It can be very lonely here. You need to be able to keep yourself company when you relocate abroad. No true friendship abroad o. An example is all these Facebook Saga. Nigerians disgracing themselves and spilling each other dirty secrets. Trust no one.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thank God for saving you from that I beast.. you really took a huge risk.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Sorry that this happened to the lady, but she self doesn't have common sense. I don't understand this need to go out with someone you barely know to a place you barely know just because you don't want to be alone. Women, please do better. We live in a very unsafe world

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She has learnt a good lesson, not everyone is sane.

      Delete
    2. She took too many risk....in 2022, you jumped into a car with two strangers cos they were Africans. Few days later you went to an Event with the guy even when it was obvious he was married and only wanted to get in ur pants. Thank God she wasnt raped. And for those Animals dat go round looking for women to destroy it will NEVER be well with u, u will meet one dat will slice dat ur thing u cant control. I hate men without morals or self control. U are no different from an animal, they shld investigate him, hes surely raped before.

      Delete
  16. Lady i empathize with u, but i sense a hatred for Nigerians allover your post. The fact u met an animal doesnt mean all Nigerians are bad or a ghanian man cldnt have even done dis to u. Why dis desperation to even go out sef, dat u had to go out with a stranger who all signs spelt danger.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don’t sense any hatred
      She’s saying what people think without saying

      Delete
  17. you answered the one who looked like he had money?? hmmmm..he shouted at you , touched your tigh ,told you he was married ,refused to seat with you at a public occasion?/ I dont know what kind of mindset you have ..but don't be so desperate and naive again it may cost your life next time

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She wasn’t trying to be with him
      The touching happened on way back from the event

      Delete
  18. You were reckless, you saw all the red flag but his being the well-to-do one entered your greedy and shameless eyes. Despite all the red flags he showed you according to you, you still called him to go out with alone, didn't have the common sense at any point to let a 3rd party know, or even note and send his details/car details to anyone else. Your greed and stupidity would have gotten the best of you. For Five future, use your sense, have some pride and a little bit of self-respect. These would have kept you safe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She knows already
      What’s the point of berating her on top

      Delete
  19. There is no message, she was just being needy and adventurous while throwing all caution to the wind. Nigerian man or not na she fuck up, all the signs were there, she was not perceptive or maybe not discerning or just plain reckless.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Met two guys on the road and instantly jumps into their car. Madam thank God for your life

    ReplyDelete
  21. It’s very obvious you’re new to the abroad.

    Anyway my only advice to you is that if you want to succeed and you want peace in your life then stay away from ndi naija ok!

    Why do you care if you’re alone or not? Who cares besides going to a party alone will help you make friends init

    ReplyDelete
  22. Naija people abroad, I don't trust them, even myself!

    ReplyDelete
  23. You didnt break his head, tear your clothes and accuse him of trying to rape you. Let him try such with a British born London based Nigerian, he will regret his existence. You are too nice.

    ReplyDelete
  24. A mature woman like you should not even find herself in this shitty situation, just thank God you were not raped or killed. A metropolitan policeman abducted a lady last year, raped and killed her., thank God for CCTV!!! For you to think only a Nigerian man is capable of doing this shows you haven't learnt.
    Learn to enjoy your own company ok!!! You could have gone for the wedding and even socialised there. This desperation for a company regardless of who is not cool.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Unbelievable her! Well thank God you blamed yourself. Not excusing bad behavior in anybody as of today a toddler sef will not behave the way she did. If you were not interested in him as you claim why did you go? Story for the gods.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Looks like an omoluabi. Some are just horrible; beastlike in character and mindset; don't show respect, especially to women but demand utmost respect from others. What culture breeds these beasts with human faces?

    ReplyDelete
  27. To be honest, seems you are to desperate for a guy and this almost cost you a limb to put it lightly. You kept using phrases that indicate you wished he would even marry you on the spot. "He no pay my bride price, we didnt have sexual transactions, I sat with fine gentlemen... "By the way, i hope you showed the police this picture of the two of you together, it's clear enough? Abeg. You too do in 3days.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Why are we acting as if in Nigeria you cannot give a girl a lift and in three days she will comfortably join you to go and hang out or chill at an event or something? The guy made moves and once she complained ought to have stopped doing it immediately. She has owned up to her portion of the blame, the real animal is the guy. When it isn't as if he has invested anything fa.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hmmmmm sorry sister Dela

    ReplyDelete

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