Hmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
RULES GUIDING A MAN AND HIS IN LAWS
Who made the rule that a man cannot sleep over in his in-laws house but a woman can even make her in-laws place her permanent resident?.
My husband will soon visit my mum's town for the first time and he said it's unheard for if he sleeps over in my mum's house (she built her house cos she's separated from my absentee father).
Hubby said he'll rather lodge in a hotel for the number of days we will be visiting but I'm suggesting we sleep over in my mom's house since there are plenty of rooms.
More so, we can save the hotel money and use it for other things. Please am I wrong? Is it a must for a man not to sleep over in ile ana (in-laws house). ?
Thank you
I think this is just an ego thing for most men.... My friend recently slept over at his Mother in laws house, He didn't want to initially and his reason was that he wanted his privacy with his wife but he was eventually convinced to do so.
He said he was really embarrassed cos they broke the bed and he felt he was being laughed at and said it would never happen again.
So your hubby might have his reason geared toward here... dont force him please.
I think it all depends. For me I would prefer to stay in a hotel. I'm a shy person and love my privacy very much. I can go there during the day for lunch and chat but will hardly sleep over. This has nothing to do with tradition. Its just a personal preference and shouldn't be made an issue.
ReplyDeleteActually no. It’s tradition In some places so it has a lot to do with tradition
DeleteBut we go against tradition all the time. Keep in mind tho if the in-law doesn’t tear you well, you will say to yourself na de tin my Ancestor wan avoid be dis
There is no tradition to this at least not in Igbo land. Its individuals opinion and most likely based on pride or privacy.
DeleteAll my brother in laws have slept in my Family house (they are all comfortable and can afford decent hotels).
I have stayed a few days at my in laws family house(my mother in law wanted to have her house filled up and insisted on my staying). Don't force your husband if he doesn't want to. He dose not hate your mum either.
Poster na wa for you oooo.
ReplyDeleteWhich kind see finish you wan do your husband like this?
Let him go and lodge in a hotel.
It’s not fair to the girl or wife
DeleteShe’ll want to enjoy her mother’s company to the Max. You know stay up late and gist wake up eat breakfast gist some more. It’s not easy if she has to be running back and forth. But if the relationship between husband and mother is not very good then hotel is it
What if they need the money for something else?
DeleteI don’t see the big deal
If you have more than enough, by all means you can but not when money is lacking.
Dear poster, beg your hubby, if he disagrees please do as he says. He is is alone I support him, if it’s both of you, I don’t see the biggy.
Push up (original)
Anon 15:43 and Push up,
DeleteThe poster and their kids can sleep in her mum's place but her husband need to lodge in a hotel.
@chike so that one girl with fat transfer yansh go corner am for hotel abi?
DeleteFat transfer yansh has finished me I’m screaming 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteIt's just male ego. Nothing more. Never saw my dad sleep over either. So, the tradition continues. Majority men will not sleep over in their in laws' place.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby has never slept in my parents house, no reason. Like Stella said, it might be an ego thing. So don't force him.
ReplyDeleteIt's not a law carved anywhere but I love your husband already. You and the kids can stay with mum while he comes over in the mornings to have breakfast. Not every man will be comfortable in a setting where the "man of the house" is absent. Please let him be.
ReplyDeleteIt’s a tradition
DeleteIt has nothing to do with the fact that there’s no man in the house
Tell your husband it is for few days. Most men don't like it especially eastern men. But sha beg him to accept and tell him the money can be used for any Joli joli
ReplyDeleteIs your hubby Igbo? Allow him lodge some where closer to avoid see-finish syndrome!
ReplyDeleteMy husband won't sleep, I don't even want him to. We r igbo.
DeleteDon't force him. If he wants to stay in the hotel no worries. But you can ask for permission to be at your Mum's spending the night at hers. Depending on how long you are staying you can alternate or the last 2 days you spend the night at her place. It's not an issue as long as you can come to a compromise.
ReplyDeleteAlow him ,its not a big deal.
ReplyDeletePoster I'm sure your hubby is an igbo man.In igbo land it's frowned at. I had an inlaw that whenever he comes to the village he'll sleep over.One day his wife and her cousin were quarreling and the cousin used it to insult her,that she married a shameless man that comes here and drag bedspace with them and he lineup to use the toilet with them.Thar she should tell her hubby that next time he comes it will be his turn to wash plates and toilet.
ReplyDeleteSo poster I'm sure your hubby is avoiding see finish,please allow him.You and the kids can stay in ur mum's place while he stays in a hotel.
Hmmm, never thought of it from this angle oh, before they'll start saying he wants them to be serving him in their house, abeg, let him go to hotel.
DeleteJust smelling Nigerian male ego.
ReplyDeleteRead @Bv Osundi's post and receive sense
DeleteAfrican mentality I have done it many times ,I prefer their food more than hotels and calabar people are good cook
ReplyDeleteThat's how hubby and I spent the holidays with his family and decided to spend the remainder days with mine. His parents heard about it and started complaining that it is wrong. They turned the whole thing to fight.
ReplyDeleteSo it's okay for me his wife to sleep over at yours but we can't go to see my parents and spend time with them.. the same parents you came to beg for my hand in marriage? The same parents that gave birth to me.. issokay.
Inlaws and their double standards. Thank God hubby ignored all of them.
Are you sure your parents won't complain if your brother were to do same?
Delete@Anon 16:33 No they won't. Why would they? They don't even pry into our marriages to begin with. They treat us (their kids ) and our spouses with a lot of love and respect. Why do you think hubby ignored his people's ranting.
DeleteMe I no go even send them, any in law wey wan complain can ride on.
DeleteLast christmas, we travelled home (my family and hubby's family reside in the same town), I spent the first 3 days in my in law's house and carried myself and baby to my mother's house o and spent almost 2 weeks there. I spent anotherr 1 week or so in my mother inlaw's place after that, all the while my husband stayed in their own house though.
My husband had no single problem with me spending time with my mum, thats all the permission I needed, any other person's opinion no concern me.
Women!
ReplyDeleteWomen!
Women!
How many time did I call us? four minus one 😂🤦♀️
If he begins to visit your mom's house now and spend the nights each time he goes
there. Same you will write chronicles about "butterflies in your brain...Stella, is he falling for my mom?"
You will begin to eavesdrop on every call your mommy puts across to him. Or bia o, could it be
what I am thinking; that you want your mom to be monitoring him so that he won't be staying in hotels
in that city? Hmm... I am just thinking o. 🤔
Ewww stop crazy talk
DeleteThis is one sick and disturbing comments. You think it's funny?
DeleteMy dad always told me that when someone looks into that place poop comes out from, if she doesn't find the natural poopoo, she will find her sister fart. So what am I saying.
ReplyDeleteNne, keep your husband very close to your chest and "far away" from your relatives. Be the moderator between him and your relations; for the sake of both respect and to avoid stories that snatch the hearts.
In some Yoruba land, if a husband dies in an in-law house his corpse will be thrown out from the window and not the door because it is a taboo. please respect your husband decision, he made a right one
ReplyDeleteYou seem educated yet ridiculous culture and traditions like these are still regarded by people like you. It is a taboo for a son in law to sleep in his parents in law's house... It is well.
DeleteWow! You see?! Poster forget it.
DeleteThat can happen even if he’s not spending the night
DeleteNow this is funny 🤣🤣🤣
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣 And its not good to laugh o.
DeleteWhat's the big deal if he sleeps in a hotel? Trust issues? Pls let him crash wherever he is comfy. You can stay with momma.
ReplyDeleteShe’ll stay in the hotel with him so it’s not a trust issue
DeleteSome of us just like to stay with family when we visit
Whether men’s ego or tradition, personally I don’t like it.
ReplyDeleteMe I can’t sleep in my mother in-laws house too and it’s not pride or ego.i just won’t be comfortable at all and what if prick stand?my wife get mad ringtone Abeg
ReplyDeleteMy husband slept over twice at my parents house when we visited Nigeria sha. Don't see anything wrong there
ReplyDeleteSome men just like their own space and not being on somebody else's time. It's whatever makes him comfortable. Maybe compromise and do one or two days at your parents so they don't feel bad and the rest at the hotel.
ReplyDeleteI don't see anything wrong with it but trust our naija men.i think they believe see finish go enter and dey do t want their in laws thinking dia gonna ride dia daughter in their own house.dat is eh!
ReplyDeleteI don't see anything wrong with it...maybe becos my husband is like a first son in my house and he is always treated with the utmost respect....
ReplyDeleteWhenever we go to visit my people we sleep over...and no disrespect whatsoever has been recorded...
If tradition says no, let your husband be if he has chosen to follow that tradition. Remember, you were married according to tradition too.
ReplyDeleteI do not know the tradition applicable in my area of origin. But my older Brother-in-law sleeps in my mother's home when the family is there for celebrations/ceremonies. I am Isoko while he is Urhobo (Delta State, Nigeria). We the males all even sleep on foam in the sitting room floor because the house is usually full. My mother even told me that once he went home for a course or programme at the next local government headquarters, he stayed with her for the duration of the course or programme and commuted to/fro the next town. He is just like that a simple easy going man. When I took my child home first time at 8 months, she would not let anybody carry her then. My brother-in-law easily rocked her to sleep. I still use the method he used till today to make her sleep. He is just like that a simple easy going man.
I also have a brother in-law who I believe will miss his way to my mother's home today.
Will I sleep in my in-laws' home? My wife is an orphan. So I cannot answer.
Poster, if you husband feel strong against it let him be. Tradition is like cobwebs to some, a shark net for others.
If he want has the money and he is not comfortable staying at your mum’s house place free the man to have his privacy. Is not everything you will be thinking you want to save the money, all the money you have been saving are you not still saving. Some times you feel happy and flex just stay off the house and enjoy your self with your family.
ReplyDeleteHe has his reasons, my sister’s husbands never slept in my parent house even for once cos they prefer hotel and love their privacy. They eat dinner in our house, once they are done they can take some to the hotel to sleep.
If your husband cannot afford a hotel then you both can manage.
Listen to your husband, madam.
ReplyDeleteWe traveled to 9ja, my husband did not even have a problem staying over at my parents but it was the worst decision we made, so bad that I don't even want to smell 9ja again. If we had known we would have stayed in a hotel. I felt bad for subjecting him to such horrible vacation. My parents did not realize we are adults and treated us like children. We had no control over when the generator will be turned on, if we complain about heat, wahala o, we are too Americanized. If we want to send the gateman to buy buka food, wahala, why are you eating from Buka, the food in the freezer is much tastier. We want to go out, wahala, you guys don't stay in one place. They almost drove me crazy. How do you want to have sex properly sef, especially if you're the loud shaking bed type? My dear, please save yourself stress and lodge in a hotel. You can visit your parents but return to your hotel.