Hmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
TREATMENT FOR A HUSBAND THAT USES HIS WIFE
I really need to unburden. But before you judge me, hear me out.
I really need to unburden. But before you judge me, hear me out.
I know a wife should support her husband financially in the upkeep of the home especially in this economy. I entered marriage with this mindset until I noticed certain things that made me hold back.
To begin with, my husband and I are both salary earners. I however earn thrice as much as he earns. Secondly, my office is about 2 hours away from we reside, whereas my husband works like 30 mins away from the house. This therefore means I come home very late most times (7-8pm).
He on the other hand closes work before 3pm and he's home before me most times. Please stay with me, I'm heading somewhere with this. I noticed whenever I can't meet up with chores due to the tightness of my schedule, he will insult me from head to toe. Tell me how I've failed as a wife. How I'm using my job as an excuse not to meet up with what is expected of me. He'd ask if I'm the only married woman who is working. No empathy whatsoever. The worst part is if I dare ask him to help me. The insults will enter gear 2. That is when I'll hear how I'm disrespectful and I don't know the meaning of husband and head of the home.
I suggested we get a maid, he told me point blank that I don't need a maid. That he'd be the one to tell me when I need one. I then noticed that when it comes to finances and he's having problems meeting up with providing, he will soberly give me an elaborate lecture about how we are partners in this marriage.
He will start sending me videos and quotes on how couples should come together financially. I asked myself why we are only partners in finances and no other area. Why is he the only one that needs assistance. Then I developed a strategy. The moment he starts asking me to bring money for XYZ, I will start lamenting about how I'm in debt and I don't have money. I only bring out when I know it's a critical emergency and even at that, I will give him 1/3 of the money and tell him that's all I have.
He will get angry and somersault and stand up, I wont act like I'm seeing him.
Thank God He blessed me with the spirit of calmness. So when he does all these, I just look at him and walk away when he's done. I don't answer him. This is how I've been able to subtly get my revenge.
On the bright side, I've also noticed that he has become more enterprising. Coming up with different businesses to earn more money. In conclusion, if he feels I don't deserve help from him, then he also isn't worthy of help until he learns the true meaning of partnership...
Hmmmm seems you married a man who married you because you are in a good place financially They are plenty like looking to marry a woman who brings something to the table and then they turn around and start using her, if you agree and then stop helping, they create problems, if you don't help at all, they create more problems.....
If you are a woman getting married, don't let him know how much you earn or cut it into quarter so that he does not set his eyes on your take home pay.... some men are financial longer throats and disgustingly so!
Any advice on why she should support her husband financially as a help mate should equally acknowledge the husband should help out domestically as he closes earlier from work.
ReplyDelete@Baltika because most of our preachers hardly preaches to the men, everything must be done perfectly by the women.
DeleteThey advise women to help their husbands out in financial aspects but will never juxtapose it by telling the husbands to help their wives out in house chores too.
Poster, you too should start looking for posts and videos that tells more about helping the wives out with house chores and send to the man often
He will be the one to tell you when to get a maid because he is inside your body to know when and how tired you are.
DeleteI had helps in my fathers house so I can’t die in the name of marriage.
Thank God you have made a plan that works for you, please keep sticking to it and save for rainy days. Your husband is a definition of “eat one’s cake and have it”.
Now the importance of having a help when the mum is not always physically there because of work cannot be over emphasized, children need a lot of attention and self care which tv or iPads cannot give, who would check their temperature when you aren’t home yet, e.t.c if your husband doesn’t help out with the home chores who really looks out for them and make sure they are okay?
Wo, I cannot can.
Push up
I really wonder how a man would spend so much time to woo a woman and not treat her right when she becomes a wife. To the guilty men, why???
ReplyDeleteDid she say the man wooed her? This is a woke generation na. Marriages are attained on different arrangements these days my dear. The wooer is not always the man again, sometimes no wooing is required and other times the nobody needs to be wooed.
Delete@15.53, you have a point. That's why I prefer when a guy clearly woos me, clearly asks me out and says the purpose of the relationship, and clearly proposes. I don't like men beating around the bush, sending romantic texts and hoping something will happen. So that tomorrow you'll say you never chyked me. No sir.
DeleteLol all that never stopped them from switching on you
DeleteYour husband might not be perfect, but you, you're definitely not perfect too. I don't think you're saying everything. Both of you hurl abusive words at each other. So stop acting like you have no fault. Sit down and think of how to make your home more peaceful and welcoming. At least he's thinking of ways to earn more. You think of ways to assist him after all you didn't marry Elon Musk.
ReplyDeleteBringing it here will do you no good because most will tell you to "take a walk!"
Welcome husband. Just try to be help her with the house chores so she can cooperate with you. A happy wife makes a happy home.
DeleteWell-done with your advice but say something to the husband too. It's like you are the husband!!!
DeleteAnon 15.11 maybe you need your lunch ,try and eat something you hear,did you not read up there where she said she is always calm whenever her husband starts with his wahala,how about you advice the husband to start assisting his wife with domestic chores inside the house or allow her to get a houseboy to help out make fight no dey again
DeleteIt’s like you are the roach that lives under their bed, a man that brings up every reason to insult her, does she even sound like she can talk back
DeletePush up (original)
Honestly this is just about my case scenario
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 why so wucked @ push up 😂😘
DeletePartners ONLY in finances. I hear. Why is it that some African men find it hard assisting with house chores? Will their hands bend, or dissolve if they help with chores like doing the dishes?
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't make you less of men if you do that.
Their sucrotum will shrivel @ 15.17
DeleteIkwakwakwa
Aswear 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Deleteif I'm partly responsible for our finances then you should be partly responsible for domestic chores, let everything be 50/50.. Poster have a talk with your husband and let him know that you can't be assisting him financially while he does nothing to assist you with the house chores
ReplyDeletePoster you’re doing well. Keep it up. Do me I do you, God no go vex. This is a lesson to all the soft hearted weak women that will carry all their money and dash man and after, they’ll start lamenting like say no be you do yourself. Women be smart. True love from men is hard to find.
ReplyDeleteYou missed the crux of the chronicle? It is about men and women or about a man and a woman? Or is it about a wife and her husband? And on that, what do you have to say on husbands who "dash" all their money to their wives and sometimes to their wives' family - fending all round for his in-laws? Such husbands are not smart right?
DeleteI comment here on posts like this because of girls and younger women who come here to learn knowing very well that some of us the older folks are already cast in our ways. but we have a duty not to mislead the younger people into thinking marriage is only a game of wits, smartness, craftiness and street sense.
Madam ignore him and get a maid, yes
ReplyDeleteSince you close by 8, the maid can come by 8, clean up and leave by 10.
You have to look for someone that stays close to your area
What rubbish!! So long as you are the one paying, no wahala!!
If he wants to throw tantrums, let him! Just put your foot down.
Certain characters in men irritates the shit out of me! Jeez!!!! This looks like my ex! Poor all round and still has pride only for it to call me and tell me he sells shoes now idiots
ReplyDeleteAt least he’s now selling bata
DeleteSister, I read and understand you PERFECTLY. You have tried but don't let this fester. The sweetness and essence of marriage will evaporate till both or one of you will want out.
ReplyDeleteMy suggestion is this:
1. Get a visiting cleaner that comes in to clean either daily or 3ice a week.
2. Order cooked meals and stock your freezer, SECRETLY.
3. Use gadgets; generator, washing machine, fund the fueling and servicing if need be.
4. Send yours and husband clothes to laundry. Let there be pick up and delivery.
5. Hire a driver.
You cant be making this money without letting it work for you. Don't be shy to throw money at any discomfort. You sound like a very intelligent woman, biko, manage your husband and don't let him be bitter. Do what is within your power to show him that love, support and submission he want's to see. It is still you that will enjoy him. I love that he has doubled his hustle and earn better now but my dear, it is not a good thing that a husband or wife decides to build capacity just to be independent of each other. What will be the cream of the marriage naw? Please don't let this generation of bitter women inspire you to spite your better half, your soul mate, your life partner, the love of your life, the bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh. Money that you will always make more and more and more shouldn't have the power to rub you off what is important.
DIVORCE IS NOT NEARLY AS GLAMOURIOUS OR EASY AS THEY PAINT IT.
You're assuming that the man sees her as the bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. You're assuming he loves her. Your advise is well and good for two people in love and who respect each other, but the narrative says otherwise.
DeleteYou didnt address how he treats her. You only addressed the poster and covertly blamed her and placed the responsibility of making her marriage work on her alone. But it takes two to do so ma. She could try from heaven to hell, but if he doesn't change, no happiness will come from this union, only misery.
Poster, no one is advising u to get divorced. No one has claimed divorce to be glamorous; it isn't. No one even mentioned it. Keep talking to ur man. As he sends you articles on financial partnerships, send him same on sharing domestic duties. Keep talking to him while remaining your calm self. You need help so get it so u dont burn out. Dont allow abuse though, whether verbal or financial. Dont let it fester cos it will destroy you. Remain smart and diligent and involve God in all. Above all, remember to love yourself while you love ur husband. This is important!
&anon 16.20 don’t miss ms sapphire always talking like Shakespeare. Seems she read a lot of mills and boon. This men these days are professional efulefus. I can’t stand them. I asked one apart from his blokos what else is he bringing to the table? Guy nearly murd me🤣🤣
Deleteare you are man or woman? you just totally judged that she is the problem in the marriage and putting all the work on her? sorry poster your husband is selfish period....only meet him half way and dont let him access to all your funds. save for a rainy day biko...
DeleteDear poster, your husband's ego is bruised because you earn more than him. He wouldn't mind you leaving your job. That's why he does not want a maid. He wants you tired and frustrated so you will give up. Follow the advice of Ms sapphire. All the best. Ignore his tantrums and nagging as much as you can.
Delete16:20 some people don’t understand when you say your husband won’t let you get help
DeleteThey think you can just bring the help in anyway. To what house? How? He’ll just send the person away.
Poster I can only say continue this way but don’t escalate. He’s trying to get a reaction from you. Also try to find another solution...move closer to work if you can. You’re so far and that must be adding to your stress
16:42 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Dont mind them.
DeleteAt the end of the day, the answer is still nothing raised to the power of nothing. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Thry think they are the only ones that will be asking 'what is she bringing to the table ' when it's only shrivelled penis, empty head and smelling ego that is in their pocket.
Well said @15:40. What is the whole essence of money?
DeleteShe wrote in telling us who and what her husband has become or is and asking for how to handle it, am I wrong? I can only address her and suggest what I believe will make things better, not to call her husband names and tell her what she already knows about him. If the husband was here, then I would address him.
DeleteThere are men who does not like domestic chores, you won't kill him. He already has a bruised ego, she will find a way to manage that which is what I am suggesting. A way forward. It's not my place to define her husband, she already narrated that. My place is to tell her a way forward.
There are men who does not like domestic chores,
DeleteIt’s do not like pls
Men do not like
A man who does not
Poster you're a Queen and more!
ReplyDeleteWhat is good for the goose is good for the gander.
You refused to be manipulated,You stand strong for your right,You didn't let your emotion play a fast one on you.Your're the real MVP.
Good riddance...
Never ever marry a man you earn more than. It never ends well. Nothing, absolutely nothing you do will ever please him.
ReplyDeleteWow this is so tough
Delete@15:41,
DeleteNot true. Unless the woman carries the issue of being richer on her head. Same applies when a richer husband carries it on his shoulders.
Women do not usually complain aloud about the wealth based bad behaviour of husbands as much as they link the bad behaviour of poorer husbands to their poverty. That is why people make comments like yours. A woman complaining about a badly behaved richer husband focus on the bad behaviour without mentioning that he is richer. Even when they talk about the man's money, they say he is good father as he provides for the children and all their needs but ... They forget that the bad behaviour might be because the man has money to fund it.
Oh, did your read the chronicle of that woman married to a Doctor who she narrated is very disrespectful to her family to the extent that her father would ratherstay in an hotel than spend a night in her home to be treated as deserved?
The poster's challenge happens also in homes where the husband provides fully or is richer than the wife. There are men who do not lift a finger at domestic chores because of laziness, lack of know-how, cultural beliefs, or personal beliefs.
Anytime a wife is richer, the temptation to accentuate her marital complaints with is higher as if marrying a lower earning man is a favour. If the poster's grouse is the poverty of her husband, why did she not go for the men earning three time than her or why did those men not come for her.
Are all the marital woe-laden chronicles sent here by women married to poorer husbands?
This poster's husband does not even know how richer she is than him. This may be the reason he is opposing hired help. If he knows why would he object to help paid for by her.
Wealth is a blessing. It is the idea of the typical Nigerian woman that only a husband money should be eaten in marriage that is holding all the richer wives from enjoying the fruit of their labour. The one said the other day she gives her money away so that the husband would not know she earn more and be ego-deflated. No be juju be dat?
Sharp woman! 👏🏼 Maintaining the peace and staying several steps ahead.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you are earning more than him is wounding his ego bitterly.
MAKE SURE you are in absolute control of your finances.
MAKE SURE you stay several steps.
Before this one will bring a mongrel as added value to his table.
Any man who does not have the spirit of leadership is not entitled to be the head of a home.
Let him go and work on his green eyed jealousy before envy will make him do something drastic.
Hmnnn. Im In this same situationship but nine helps out at the homermfront. just that the level of disrespect from his family towards me makes me believe he is telling them otherwise. So I have officially given them the coldest shoulder ever.i don't go to them.i don't call them, I don't attend their events and I ignore their existence.e dey pain them but na them start.and im enjoying a peace that Putin can only dream of at the moment.
ReplyDeleteSo it’s not same situation then
DeleteImagine someone coming home from 3pm and can't do anything to help out in the house and expecting the person arriving home 4-5 hours later, after a lengthy commute at that to do everything. So when these women work themselves to the bone and start looking beat and haggard the same man will find solace in someone who doesn't even work, and have all day to get beauty treatments and do shopping and wonder why their wife cannot look like the 'professional' woman.
ReplyDeleteI cannot imagine being in a marriage and have to be playing these cat and mouse games and working on survival strategies daily. But when you know what you are tied to I guess you need to act accordingly. Some ppl are really living interesting lives.
Very interesting lives indeed. I pity some married women on a daily basis. Reason why I opted to born for my very rich married bf . I stay on my lane .he bought me a house,gives us allowance monthly,vacations abroad twice a year all paid for by him.I see him when I want to. I have a nanny. I honestly cannot stand living with a man daily I’ll go nuts. This works for me.
DeleteIts deliberate. Thry deliberately want to frustrate the woman. The woman ends up tired, worn out, depleted, miserable etc. He wants you so frustrated so that he can now issue you ultimatum that you must leave your job to focus6on home, him. When she complains, they switch on their gaslighting technique talmabout how their mothers did even more.
DeleteAsk him if his mother ever held a corporate job and drove throughout 4 hours of Lagos traffic?
Some one will get home by 3-4pm, balance like an elephant waiting for someone who gets home by 9pm-10pm to come and boil water to turn eba for him.
Is that person not the definition of a FOO.L.
Madam, don't give up your nob for ANYTHING. The day you fo is the end of you.
Dont be surprised if all that snal small money you are giving him for his businesses that you cant see, he has used the money to buying land
@16:51,
DeleteBecause this Post is for bashing men poorer than their wives generally and such poorer men who do not help at home chores, you are covered today.
The married female Bvs will not comment on your getting pregnant for a married man and collecting from him what should have been given to his family. They will not comment that maybe his wife bears the full brunt of his domestic demands while you chill with the nanny plus more he provides for you.
You sef join pity some married women indeed.
Mr. Mann
17:50!what can one say to her
DeleteIt’s the man that caused it
Anon 16:51, you better make sure the title of the home is in your name and you have the title. If you are not listed on that title as the owner you better be saving and seeking to secure something that you own outright. Nasty surprises tend to happen when least expected.
DeleteAre u me?I do get home early like 3 and my wife around 8.she earned more than I do.i will pick my kid's in school and myself and my first daughter would tidy up every where before she comes .I started helping my wife when I noticed she is getting old because of chores.men pls, let's help our wife.its not easy.though my neighbor do gossip me that i be mumu but I doN t care.
ReplyDeleteYou’re not mumu you’re a good man may God bless you more.
DeleteYou are not a mumu man sir, unfortunately, I can't say the same for your poke nosing neighbor.
DeleteI have a neighbor whose wife doesn't work but you see this man, he provides for the family, goes to market, gbo gbo e gbo, and nobody judges him. Every malam to en kettle.
Press ignore buttons.
DeleteYou are not mumu man
Please ignore that your envious neighbour. When they see families flourishing and husbands taking care of their families ,those demons forming king kong in their own homes will try and poison others. Both parties are working, both parties are bringing money to the table. But 1 person is doing 100 percent of the work at home plus her duties in the office. Man will bring out penis and still be complaining. Abeg getat. Bunch of lazy, useless, entitled oafs.
DeleteAnon 16.10 na jealousy dey keel that your neighbor
DeleteGod bless you first anon, you are an observant husband who cares for his family.
DeleteGod bless you
Also you are not helping your wife alone, you are helping your home, as the protector of your home.
I am proud of you
If no one has ever told you… you are doing a great job
Push up (original)
Help your husband to the level of your capability,beyond that do whatever will make you healthy ,don't because of marriage
ReplyDeleteYou're doing well. You can't come and kill yourself because of husband.
ReplyDeleteCunny man
ReplyDeleteOnly a wicked man will get home at 3, refuse to do chores and expect his wife that gets home at 3 to start doing the chores.
ReplyDeleteHe also refuses you getting the service of a maid because he's a very bitter man that wants to stress the living daylight out of u.
He doesn't want to assist with chores yet wants u to assist him financially. 🙄🙄🙄🙄.
The chronicles already summarized that. What is your advice to this poster?
DeleteDodoyo, go and read the write-up again and see if she's asking for advice 🙄
DeleteYeah she didn’t ask for advice so saying you agree with her is the best
Delete🤡
DeleteLet me post before I read other comments. Your husband is choleric. That's his dominant temperament. Google is your friend on how to deal with these kind of people. Then again he is a narcissist. Most cholerics are. The way you are reacting is mostly the way to deal with people like that. But also Google is your friend. Wishing you God's grace and wisdom.
ReplyDeleteI am melancholy and I have noticed time and time again that I never get along with this ☝️ temperament both in real life and on this blog, try as much as I can. There's just something about them that rings alarm bells in me.
Deletejust do what you can in that marriage and dont let him over burden you.. imagine kids have not come yet and he cant lift a finger ..some men just have a very local mindset about women's role in the home. honestly these are things we are meant to look out for in courtship before marriage. my husband helps me cook sometimes if I am tired though he will sometimes force me to eat easy to cook meals like noodles..lol me i dont stress my life oh, If he wants you to meet him halfway in finances then nothing absolutely wrong in him helping around the house abeg...
ReplyDeleteI learnt something here one day about using village sense in marriage as a woman and I will hold it for a longer time. Most marriages work better when the man provides 60/70% of the family needs. Even when you earn more as a woman, use village sense
ReplyDeleteNot village sense. It is wicked sense where the woman can provide 50% or more of the family needs and reasonable wants. Leaving the husband or wife to bear most of family burden has same effect on men and women. Only a "wise" man carries the burden of his household 70% or more when his wife can contribute. Ofcourse, some wives like that kind of ego. So what do such wives do with their income. Do they waste it or use it for themselves and their own family only? Which juju pass dat kind heart
DeleteMy dear, I had a good laugh at "he will summersault and stand up" I laughed eh!!! That's the same problem I have with my husband excluding the insultive part. But he will talk and nag like a woman and we will argue and argue until I told him that he won't get a dime from me and he hasn't since this year, e shock him. I no longer waste my energy on him anymore. But he has deviced mean ways of making me spend but I don't mind as long as I don't give him the money. Imagine building a new house to roofing level and not being acknowledged at all. Please lock up, when he changes, you change. Mine has started saving his money and I'm happy for him. Some times we want to overhelp our husbands and end up being the husbands ourselves while the man quickly becomes the woman. Now my husband is finishing the house and I told him that he will complete the remaining one so that when he boast's,IT WON'T SOUND LIKE A LIE to me, and now he's beginning to finish projects and do what he's supposed to do as a man. I don't blame you at all. IT'S YOUR IMMATURE HUSBAND THAT BLOCKED HIMSELF BY HIMSELF!!!
ReplyDeleteDid you read her say she was providing more than the man in the house until he asks. Let her tell if her husband truly knows how much she earns.
DeleteUser jam user-pro-max. Tufiakwa.
ReplyDeleteIt's very obvious I'm going to die unhappy if na this kind people remain for love/relationship pool.
Am happy you are a calm person,talk to him on the house chores calmly and do what makes you happy on the financial aspect.......... Josaria
DeleteSome men are just impossible. I noticed this days men look for women that have money to marry, they don't want to be the only bread winner in the house and still they will expect the woman to be the superwoman while they sit down and press the TV remote or press the game keypad all day. Its good your husband knows how you feel. Just spend your money comfortably. Get someone to clean and order meals stock them up in your freezer. Use a washing machine for laundry, there are some cheap ones out there. Abeg I can't shout some men are just annoying and they will call it love. Marriage is truly hardworking and selflessness
ReplyDeleteIn some cases it’s how they were raised
DeleteYou may have to gently re-raise them
Gently 'reraise' who?
DeleteI said reraise who?
As per adult nanny or what?
As per rehabilitation project or what?
That's why married women are looking so haggard and stressed out. Looking like their husbands senior sisters.
All daddybaby is doing is opening mouth to eat and swinging prick upandan.
Clean up at home, he says he cannot.
Take the children to school ,no.
Bring them back, no.
Help them with homework, no.
Cook for the family, once in a while, impossible.
Domestic chores, his hand will be paralyzed if he tries it.
Lolllll, you women enjoy SUFFER!!!!
What absolute TRASH.
20:31 once you’ve married the man what are the options
DeleteYou either divorce, stay miserable or teach him to do better
2104.Thank you. Women should make clear before marriage what they will not accept in marriage. Men see women who do all during courtship whether live in or live out. After marriage, the story changes.
Delete21:04 You still don't get it do you?
DeleteI will NOT marry that kind of man.
NEVER.
I will not leave a beautiful, peaceful progressing single life and enter marriage that is like war zone, marriage that will stress me, age me and give me headache.
NEVER.
I was not born to suffer.
I like the soft life, everwhere soft.
That is why BEFORE marriage, I will clearly ARTICULATE my expectations etc etc. Let people see you for who you are and make sure you use hypo and jik so you see people exactly how they are.
All that love is blind rada rada is not for me.
If you enter marriage and you see that your partner lied upon lied, and is not what he or she claimed, activate plan B.
No time.
Most men do not know that marrige is for the wife - they marry thinking, and usually aided by some women, that marriage is for the man or at best for both the man and woman. Men generally do not know how to do domestic chores especially cooking and house keeping except those who worked or work as cooks and house-keepers. Some men can "cook" for themselves, but do not trust themselves to cook for other people including their wives. Most men who can do chores marry thinking marriage will free them of that not knowing as said above that marriage is for the wife. A woman who knows about these knowledge gaps in most men will find it easier to handle her husband.
ReplyDeleteThe sad part of this matter of men, marriage and domestic chores is that only few mothers train their sons to be domestically independent of a woman and eventually their wives. And fewer mothers tell their sons the truth about marriage being for the wives.
It is common to see women blame their husbands for not helping at home chores, but are not teaching and never teach their sons how to do same chores. Now, how many of the women who have lampooned the poster's husband here today are training their sons at domestic chores the full yard - from going to the market, cooking, cleaning, washing, caring for younger ones, etc. So the circle continues.
The matter of men and domestic chores is not always the case of male ego or the poorer husband seeking to bring his wife to his level. The issue exists in homes of richer husbands in different forms. There are homes where husbands provide 100% and still do chores because they want to or because the wives do not know how to, or are lazy. What should such men do particualrly if they cannot afford help or do not like having them in their homes as a result of their upbringing.
He doesn't want you to get a maid, so you will be frustrated,most men are used to seeing women SUFFER, that's what they're used to,trust they can't do half of what we do in home front.They will compare you to other women that are doing it.Lol, what about we comparing them to those RICH MEN, that takes care of their home front(IS DISRESPECT). LOL
ReplyDeleteThey want a hardworking woman, but still gets frustrated when she blossoms.
Please do the ones you can do and leave the rest, he is your husband and you can't disrespect him by getting a maid,but you can take care of yourself.If you kill yourself with chores, he will marry another woman in months. Buy washing machine, buy foods if need be, clean when you're fit to.
THEY WANT A WIFE, A MAID,A MOTHER, MONEY MAKING MACHINE, THEY WANT IT ALL. BUT WHAT DO THEY GIVE IN RETURN.
TRUST ME,IF IT WAS HIS SISTER THAT THE HUSBAND IS TREATING THIS WAY.HE WON'T TAKE IT. THEY WILL EVEN ADVICE THEIR SISTERS NOT TO GO AND FORM INDEPENDENT LADY FOR A MAN OR HARDWORKING. BUT THEY WIVES SHOULD BURN OUT.
IS A COLD WORLD, UNTIL YOU FIND SOMEONE THAT MEETS YOU HALF WAY, PLEASE STAY SAFE.
No where did the poster said she told her husband she would pay for the maid from her 3x higher salary. When you earn well as a wife, you can hoard the money from your husband, but you cheat yourself when you refuse to let the money lessen your burden. People have told her to buy this and that gadget. Will the gadgets operate themselves
DeleteThe story also shows the man is not a full time leech on the poster. This story as said by a Bv above is not complete.
The man has already woken up anyway. Again this shows the man is not the sit at home press remote control type.
Hope she is training her sons on how to do domestic chores and to be ready to do them during marriage.
22:18 shut up, she has said all she needs to say....the man is self centered period...he also earns salary so how does that stop him from helping around the house? the foolish man already reasons that she is asking for help because she earns more. I earn more than my husband but he does all he needs to do without asking me...o also contribute to the upkeep and hardly ask for money to go to the market or buy stuff at home...he also help me with chore at home when i ask or he sees i am tired...u are just a typical example of a guy who must always blame a woman for the useless behaviors of her husband...
Delete@13:09
DeleteFor the sake of those who will read this post today or tomorrow. Insult in a public discourse shows better who we are. Some husbands do chores unwillingly to avoid insults as husbands know their wives better.
The Poster's husband doesn't know how much she earns. Despite earning three times higher, she was not contributing to the home more than the man. Yes she "assist" as some earning wives do. But she was not feeding the man nor was he living off her. She confirmed the man asks only when it is beyond his income. She just felt that the man should use his extra time to do home chores. Telling the man to get help she would not pay when the man is already using all of his income for the home is selfish of her. Especially as she earns well higher and can afford to pay.
Let her tell the man she would pay for the help. Let her buy whatever she wants to buy to help her life. Money is only valuable to the living person.
All said, the man has woken up to the reality of his situation. Maybe she has fulfilled her purpose in his life to push him to his place. What was he even doing with 5hours at home? Those hours are what poster saw being wasted. Now he is using them, the poster herself have small respect for him.
Stella, I submitted a comment where I wrote that I earn 10x more than my husband and we don't have any quarrel about it. Well, i can't find my comment. I was on a vehicle when I wrote that comment. My husband and I have same accounts and investments in both our names. We are partners in every aspect. The reason is because, we are both believers in Christ and we follow the Scriptures. I commend this lady for maintaining the peace of her home. Hopefully, the husband will learn.
ReplyDeleteBe wise as serpent too.
Delete@I like the fact that you're ignoring him, try sending him some videos of men helping out in the house too. Look for a woman from 57ys n above living close by to come help you clean around after 7 to 8pm, maybe 1hr cleaning. My hubby helps a lot now.. Cook and stock up, your freezer no be for fancy. Good luck n pray too.
Poster I like your style if he is not ready to amend his ways please do not think of changing. You both are partners not only when money is needed.
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